A Broken Girl's Journey 4: Kylie's Song

by Niki Jilvontae

  “Sit yo ass down, Brian, always trying to help the lil’ bitch. Fuck ha up Alicia. Alissa get yo ass over there and help yo mama. Find my change the lil’ bitch still got!” Tricey yelled as Alissa smiled while getting off the couch to help.

  Derrik pushed Brian back onto the couch as he got up to get a better view. Kylie squirmed and begged as Alicia sat in her chest still cursing the whole time.

  “Where my mama change lil’ bitch? You don’t have no pockets!” Alicia yelled.

  Kylie struggled to breathe as Alicia continued to pin her to the floor while Alissa took off her shoes, checking for the money.

  “It’s gotta be in ha bra, ma!” Alissa yelled looking Kylie in the eyes with an evil smile on her face.

  Before Kylie knew it, she yelled out, “Bitchhh!” so loud her ears rang. Her sudden bravery took her and everyone else by surprise. Kylie didn’t know where it came from, but she knew she had that hard side of her mama in her somewhere. It just took a lot to come out. Everyone was silent for a second after Kylie’s outburst. Suddenly, Alissa began to unleash a fury of smacks across Kylie’s face as Alicia ripped her bra from her body. The crumbled $20 Aunt Tricey had given Kylie flew out of her bra and through the air, landing right at Aunt Tricey’s feet. Tricey slowly picked it up and looked at Kylie hatefully as Alissa and Alicia continued to attack her.

  “Oh and the lil’ bitch still got the $20. What you do, steal that food or did you fuck for it you lil’ hoe?” Tricey yelled.

  Kylie continued to squirm and cry as Alicia pulled her tights down and wedged herself between her legs.

  “Yea she been fucking, look at her panties they all wet. Lil’ nasty bitch,” Alissa said laughing as she reached down to smack Kylie again.

  Kylie looked around at all of their evil faces as Alicia and Alissa continued to hit her, curse, and pull her hair. Suddenly, Brian had had enough. He got up and rushed forward, pushing his mother off of Kylie. He quickly helped her up as his mother lie on the floor dazed and Alissa slowly walked forward.

  “Lissia, you better back the fuck up or I promise Ima knock yo fat ass the fuck out. Leave her alone y’all for real!” Brian yelled as Kylie hurriedly grabbed her shirt, putting it back on and then grabbed her tights.

  Her hands trembled and blood and tears ran from her face as she struggled to put her tights back on and grab her shoes. Aunt Tricey struggled to get up out of her chair as she yelled curses at Kylie and Brian.

  “You lil’ fucker, Ima smack the shit out of you when I get up and you lil’ bitch Ima kill you!” Aunt Tricey yelled.

  Before aunt Tricey could get up out of her chair Kylie had put on her shoes, grabbed the piece of paper with Kevin’s number on it off the floor, and ran outside. She could hear Brian yell run and Aunt Tricey telling Derrik to get her as she stood on the porch confused. She didn’t know where to go, but she knew she couldn’t stay there so she jumped of the porch and just started running.

  When Kylie got three houses down, she heard the screen door close and Derrik come out to catch her, so she ducked behind a truck parked in a neighbor’s yard. Derrik ran right past her as she squatted down near the truck and held her breath. After about two minutes, Kylie heard Aunt Tricey come out on the porch and yell for Derrik to come back.

  “Fuck ha lil funky ass. Let ha stay out there. She’ll be back I guarantee. She has nowhere else to go!” Tricey yelled before going back into the house.

  As Derrik walked back to Aunt Tricey’s house, Kylie could hear him calling her name and taunting her as he walked by.

  “Kylie…come out. I ain’t gonna hurt ya at least not like they did. Come on out, Kylie. Ima get ya one way or another,” he said as he walked up Aunt Tricey’s driveway laughing.

  Kylie felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up and she felt sick at the stomach as Derrik’s voice rang in her ears. Kylie knew that he would be the worse of them all. At that moment she just wanted to sit on the ground and wait to die, but something inside wouldn’t let her. Something was urging her to get up and get away. Kylie got up slowly and peered up and down the street before quickly running to the end of the block. Her heart raced and her chest felt tight, but she didn’t stop running until the rain began to pour down on her.

  As the rain began to fall, Kylie slowed down and looked across the street at the In-N-Out market on the corner of Chelsea. She noticed a group of girls and boys standing outside the In & Out Market, so she crossed to ask for money to use the pay phone. She would call Kevin. He would come help her. Tears, blood, sweat, and rain dripped from Kylie’s face as she approached the group of kids standing outside of the store. She recognized some of them from school, but some of them appeared to be grown. Kylie was afraid to ask them for change for the phone when she got close enough to see the expressions on their faces, but she had no choice.

  “Excuse me, but can I have $.50 for the phone please. I really need help,” Kylie begged as she wiped blood and rain from her forehead.

  Some of the kids just rolled their eyes, some of them laughed, but one thick, dark skinned girl with a mouth full of gold teeth stepped forward and gave it to her. She was a girl Kylie had seen at school and around the neighborhood a lot. She was also a Crip and very violent, which is why Kylie had always avoided her. However, at that moment Kylie was glad she was around. Kylie quickly took the money, thanked the girl, and made her way to the pay phone as the kids laughed and stared. Kylie’s hands shook as she dialed the number on the paper just as the rain quickly washed it away, leaving a limp, ink-stained piece of paper in her hand.

  Kylie hoped that Kevin answered the phone because now his number was gone and she had no one else to turn to. After five rings, Kylie began to panic as tears flowed from her eyes. Just as she was about to hang up, Kevin answered the phone with music blasting in the background. For a moment Kylie said nothing as relief, fear, and sorrow rushed over her body.

  “Who the fuck is this?” Kevin yelled into the phone as he began to get impatient.

  Kylie swallowed back her tears and quickly began to tell Kevin what happened. She was crying so hard and talking so fast Kevin could barely understand what she was saying.

  “Hold up, hold up, who is this? Kylie, is this you?” Kevin asked as he quickly yelled for someone in the background at his house to turn the music down. “Kylie what’s wrong?” Kevin asked in a serious tone.

  Kylie quickly told him what happened and where she was at as Kevin yelled for his brother to get the car keys.

  “Kylie, I’ll be right there. Stay right where you are. I got you,” Kevin said before he hung up the phone.

  He was happy he would finally get the opportunity to get close to the pretty, smart girl he always dreamed about, but never thought he could get close to. Kevin just didn’t know that Kylie would need him as much as she did. Kylie was very vulnerable and hurt. She was so grateful she had someone to help her and Kevin wanted to be that someone.

  Kylie waited close by the group of kids under the canopy in front of the store as the rain continued to fall. The girl who had given her the change kept staring at her with sympathy as she wiped at the cuts and gashes on her face. About five minutes later, a blue Crown Victoria with big 26” rims on it pulled up in front of the store blasting rap music. Kevin jumped out of the car and rushed right over to Kylie, wrapping his arms around her and telling her it was okay. He quickly ushered Kylie into the car before nodding his head at the girl and the car pulled away from the curb.

  Kevin held Kylie in the back seat as she told him everything that happened and his brother listened. Kevin stroked Kylie’s hair as her head rested on his shoulder and told her she could stay with him if she wanted to. Kylie felt secure at that moment, so she closed her eyes as the tears continued to fall. Kevin hugged Kylie tight and promised he would protect her as she started to calm down.

  “I got you lil’ mama. I want you to know that my house crazy as hell too though. But you’ll be okay with me,” Kevin said as Kylie tried to smother her screams i
nside.

  She was tired of all the drama, but she was soon to find out that Kevin’s house offered just as much as the house she lived in…if not more. When Kevin’s brother’s car pulled into the parking lot of the St. Court’s apartments and Kylie saw all of the dope boys standing around she got nervous. A sea of blue shirts, blue rags, gold teeth, and dreads was all she could see. She slowly got out of the car behind Kevin, holding herself and trying not to freak out. Kevin assured her that she was safe again as he led her through a group of boys smoking weed as they sat on the green box. All of them stared and said vulgar remarks about how fine Kylie was and how they would fuck her as they walked by.

  Kylie was so afraid it was like moving a boulder to get her legs to move and push her forward. Kevin saw the terror on her face, so he yelled for the boys to shut the fuck up. Kevin’s sudden fit of rage worked and everyone was silent until Kylie and Kevin were inside of his apartment.

  Inside Kylie stood frozen by the front door as kush smoke and the loud rap music blasting through the house speakers by the entertainment system filled her ears. Kevin’s apartment was filled with guys smoking weed and playing the X-Box. They all stopped what they were doing and looked at Kylie as she stood by the door terrified. There was very little furniture in the apartment, except for a dirty, torn gray sectional, a huge plasma TV, and a dining room table with four chairs.

  Kevin went over to the dining room table and sat down with two other boys who were packaging crack in little ziploc bags. Six or seven little dirty, nappy headed kids ran through the room singing the lyrics to the rap song playing as Kylie looked on in disbelief. She wondered what she had gotten herself into. She wondered would Kevin’s house be worse than her own. Before Kylie could finish that thought Kevin’s mama walked out of the bathroom with a cloud of smoke around her head yelling for the kids to go sit their asses down. Kylie stared at the skinny, bald head lady in front of her. It was clear to Kylie that Kevin’s mama was a crack head, which was apparent from her twisted mouth and bulging eyes. She stared right at Kylie as she tapped Kevin on the shoulder.

  “Who the fuck is she?” she asked Kevin as she pointed at Kylie.

  Kylie didn’t know what to say or do as everyone stared at her. She wished she was invisible at that moment. Everyone’s eyes were on her.

  “Boy I know yo big head ass hear me talking. Who the fuck is she? I know you don’t think this a fucking hotel. Hhmp. You gotta pay me?” Kevin’s mama said as she held out her hand indicating she wanted some crack.

  Kevin glanced at Kylie and for a moment and she saw an embarrassed, scared little boy in Kevin’s eyes. All of the other boys in the room continued what they were doing like they never heard her ask as Kevin through a bag on the floor.

  “Damn maine here. Take this shit and don’t ask me for no moe. That’s Kylie and she staying too for as long as I say so,” Kevin said standing up and poking his chest out like he was the king as he puffed on a blunt.

  Kylie stood there still frozen in her spot by the door with her arms folded tightly around her. She trembled slightly as the door suddenly swung open and a fat, dirty woman and tall man walked in. Kylie noticed that as soon as they came in Kevin’s mother tried to hide the crack Kevin had just given her. However, she wasn’t fast enough. The fat woman rushed in and ran towards Kevin’s mama, Brenda screaming about a hit she owed her.

  Before Kylie knew it the two of them were in a full argument, screaming and pushing each other. All of the boys in the room laughed and urged them to fight yelling, “Ms. Brenda, whoop her ass.” Kevin stood there with a pained expression on his face as his little brothers and sisters ran into the room yelling and laughing at the fight. It was like a complete mad house in there. Kylie put her hands over her ears as she stared at Kevin with wide eyes. Suddenly, Kevin reached his breaking point as he yelled, “Shut the fuck up!” at the top of his lungs. Everyone stopped what they were doing in an instant and looked at Kevin and the hateful look on his face.

  That look and everyone’s reaction told Kylie that Kevin was the boss and he was capable of anything when he was mad. That’s why everyone listened when he talked. Kylie felt herself begin to tremble again as she watched Kevin’s mama get on her hands and knees to pick up the crack she had dropped fighting as her children looked on. Kylie had never seen anything like Kevin’s family before. She closed her eyes tight with her hands still over her ears, frozen in fear. Kevin could see what was happening to Kylie from across the room, so he pushed past his mama and walked up to Kylie removing her hands from her ears.

  “Damn lil’ mama, you aight? You straight. These folks act like this all the time. You good though. Come on up to my room, it’s quiet and safe.” Kevin said as he took Kylie by the hand, leading her up the stairs to his room.

  Kylie looked back into the living room just as Kevin’s mother lit one of the rocks he had given her on her glass pipe. Kylie couldn’t believe her eyes as she watched Kevin’s lil’ sister, who was about six, picked up a piece of crack that was still on the floor and handed it to her mother. Kylie shook her head in disgust and disbelief as she continued up the stairs with Kevin. “What have I gotten myself into? Can my life get any worse?” were the questions Kylie asked herself as Kevin took her into his room.

  Chapter 4

  The inside of Kevin’s room was much different from the rest of the apartment. It was much cleaner and had a peaceful, calm feel. Kevin had a huge king sized bed with a blue and white linen, a huge plasma TV sitting in the corner, a dresser with a mirror, and a small nightstand next to the bed. His walls were covered in drawings of different animals, a jungle scene, and he had painted the entire universe on the ceiling. Kylie looked at Kevin with disbelief written all over her face as Kevin smirked and plopped down on the bed.

  “What? Why you looking at me like that? You didn’t expect no shit like this out a nigga like me? Niggas like me ain’t supposed to be talented, huh?” Kevin asked with a sort of offended and pained, but amused look on his face.

  Kylie walked over and sat down on the bed next to Kevin as he laid back and looked at the universe on his ceiling.

  “I didn’t mean that look in a bad way. I just didn’t know you draw.” Kylie lied as she quickly glanced back at Kevin.

  Kylie was thinking exactly what he said. She never expected he had talent or cared to do anything other than what she saw him do, and that was gang bang. Kylie hated to pass that kind of pre-judgement on people because her parents always taught her to never judge a book by its cover. However, Kevin was known for his banging and his ability to be a beast when necessary, so Kylie couldn’t help it. He did show little respect for anything expect her at the moment. Kylie thought that he didn’t even really respect his mother, but Kylie knew he loved her. He just didn’t respect the things she did, which was why he was so mean.

  Suddenly, Kylie’s mother’s words rang in her ears.

  “Never judge a person at first glance, there’s layers to everyone. We never truly know why people do the things they do until we get to know them. Give people a chance Sunshine.”

  Kylie shuddered when she thought of those words because she knew her mother was right. She knew that she had to give Kevin a chance despite her fears. She had no other choice because Kevin was all she had. Kylie nervously lie back on the bed next to Kevin, making sure she didn’t touch him. Kylie had never been alone with a boy let alone in the bed with one, so she didn’t want to lead him on.

  “I didn’t mean to offend you, Kevin. Your work is beautiful though,” Kylie said staring at Kevin out the corner of her eye.

  Kylie saw the faraway look in Kevin’s eyes as he stared up at the ceiling and she wondered about him. She wanted to know the real him that he hid from the world. Kevin slowly turned to look at Kylie as she felt butterflies flutter in her heart and stomach.

  “You good lil’ mama; you didn’t offend me. It do get to a nigga sometimes when people always expect the worse and ignore the good. It’s all good though,” Kevin said
as he wiped at a tear that fell from his eye and quickly sat up.

  “Anyway, I been drawing since I was about five. Anytime shit get too hectic in the streets or in this muthafucka, I come my ass up here and draw. That shit helps me release the shit I be feeling, so I won’t kill nobody,” Kevin said to Kylie as she sat up nodding her head that she understood.

  She understood because it was like that for her with her songwriting and singing, except she wrote and sang no matter what, happy or sad. Writing and singing always helped her get in touch with her emotions. Kylie could see drawing made Kevin feel the same way. That made Kylie feel a connection with Kevin. She felt he understood her.

  “I’m the same way with my songs. I feel connected to my feelings when I write and sing. I can escape everything around me and just be free...just be me when I sing,” Kylie said with her eyes closed tightly as she swayed from side to side.

  When she opened her eyes, Kevin was staring directly at her with a tranquil look on his face. She smiled after seeing the look on his face.