“Yeah.” Laurie knew his face was as grim as his voice.
Marc’s mouth twisted ruefully. “Come on. Let’s lock up and go home.”
Laurie nodded and followed Marc out of the boathouse, pausing long enough for Marc to turn off the lights and secure the doors. The shop was already dark and Marc’s was the only car left in the gravel parking lot. They got inside and made the drive to Marc’s grandparents’ two-story lake house in silence.
As they walked the path to the back entrance where their rooms were situated on the lower level, Marc stopped Laurie with a hand on his arm. “Look, dude, I’m just gonna crash right now. We’ll talk more in the morning, okay?”
Laurie gave Marc a hesitant smile. “Sure.”
Once they were in the house, Laurie watched Marc wander down the hall toward his bedroom. He slumped onto one of the couches in the area that had become their videogame haven over the last couple of weeks. He was tempted to fire up the massive, wall-mounted LED television and play something mind-numbing just to distract himself, but all he could do was think about Marc…and Jonah.
CHAPTER 3
The next morning, Laurie woke to the feel of a hand shaking his shoulder. It was pitch black in the room and he could see from the glaring red numbers on his alarm clock that it was just after five.
“Wha’?” he said groggily. “What is it?”
“Get up, Laur. Let’s go get some breakfast.”
It took Laurie a moment to recognize Marc’s voice and another to process what he’d said. “Breakfast?” he repeated, incredulous. “It’s five in the morning.”
“Can’t sleep.”
Laurie made a sound of protest as his blankets were yanked away. He buried his face in his pillow and grumbled into the material, “Dude, give me another hour at least.”
“Nope. Come on, Laurie. We need to talk.”
That brought Laurie’s head up. Marc’s tone was serious, and there could only be one thing he wanted to discuss. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll meet you at the car in ten.”
****
They were sitting in the same diner that Jonah and Laurie had gone to for lunch a few days before. The sky had lightened considerably since they’d left the lake house, but the diner was nearly empty. As far as Laurie was concerned, it was a bit too early in the day for a full-fledged breakfast. He’d settled on toast and coffee and Marc had ordered orange juice and a bowl of cornflakes.
Laurie was in the middle of taking a sip of coffee when Marc abruptly put his spoon down and met his eyes across the table.
“I want you to do it,” Marc said without any preamble. “I want you to do what Jonah asked.”
Laurie choked and spluttered into his cup. There was a minute or two of coughing and chest pounding before he’d collected himself enough to speak. “You what?”
“Look, you and I both know how stubborn Jonah is. If he said he’d find someone else, then you know he eventually will. I thought about it a lot last night, and, frankly, if he’s determined to do it this way, I’d rather it be with you than anyone else. I mean, can you imagine if he lets that douchebag Travis…” Marc paused and drew in a deep breath through his nostrils. “You said he wants someone he can trust. Well, he trusts you. I trust you.”
“But…” Laurie trailed off somewhat helplessly, dropping his gaze to his half-eaten toast. “But I thought that you wouldn’t want—”
“I’m not going to say that it won’t be weird,” Marc interrupted. “And I definitely don’t want to see or hear about any of it. But if Jonah wants you, and if you’re cool with it, then I’m willing to turn a blind eye to the whole thing. I know you would never do wrong by my brother.”
“Of course I wouldn’t.” Laurie shook his head. “But I can’t have this be something that wrecks our friendship, Marc. We’ve known each other too damn long.”
“This is not going to affect us,” Marc said firmly. “You and me, we’re solid.”
Laurie looked up. Both Marc’s face and eyes were solemn, and they didn’t waver as Laurie met his gaze.
Marc nodded. “We’ll be fine.”
Laurie didn’t feel as certain as Marc appeared to be. The whole conversation was almost too surreal to be believed. “You’re sure, man?”
“Absolutely.” Marc hesitated for a moment then continued, “And you want him, too, don’t you? Jonah.”
Laurie felt his eyes widen and his stomach drop. “I…”
Marc reached across the table and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “I could hear it in your voice yesterday. Don’t worry about it, okay? I don’t mind.”
“You don’t?” Laurie said in surprise.
Marc shook his head. “It’s like I just said, I know you wouldn’t do wrong by him. And, honestly, Laurie? If I had to pick someone for him, I can’t think of anyone better than you.” He smiled and gave a slight shrug. “It’ll be a little odd, yeah. But you’re my best friend. I’ve kept you around for a reason, you know? You’re a good guy.”
Laurie returned the smile as the tension in his stomach eased. “So this is why you’ve kept me around all these years?” he teased. “And here I thought I was just your token gay friend so you could score sensitivity points with the ladies.”
Marc’s smile evolved into a full-out grin. “That too.”
****
A soft knock interrupted Jonah while he was in the middle of getting dressed. He dropped the towel he’d been using to dry his hair and crossed the room to answer the door without bothering to ask who it was. Only when it was halfway open did it occur to him that he probably should have put a shirt on first, or in the very least finished buttoning his jeans in case it was his grandmother standing out in the hallway.
But it wasn’t his grandmother. It was Laurie. And Laurie’s eyes, a striking mix of green, brown, and gold, trailed a slow path down Jonah’s bare chest right to the open fly of his jeans and the gray and blue Batman briefs that could be seen underneath.
Jonah’s face went up in flames. He thought he might die right there on the spot. As a kid he’d loved comics, and when he’d spotted superhero undies available in adult sizes, he’d compiled quite a stash—everything from Superman to The Hulk and, most embarrassingly, Captain America. But he’d never expected anyone to actually see them. Especially not Laurie. He’d packed special underwear just in case an opportunity to strip in front of Laurie ever arose, and those most certainly didn’t have a picture of Batman’s face on the crotch.
Laurie didn’t comment, though. Just smirked and met Jonah’s gaze. “Can I come in for a sec?”
“Sure,” Jonah said, moving aside so Laurie could enter the room. “Let me just, uh, grab a shirt.” He snagged the one he’d laid out on the bed earlier, tugged it over his head, and then quickly finished doing up his fly while his back was turned. When he faced Laurie again, the heat in his cheeks had faded a bit. “So, what’s up?” he asked, striving for a casual tone, even though his ego was still suffering and he wanted nothing more than to crawl under his bed and hide for a week.
Laurie walked over to Jonah’s desk and pulled out the chair, spinning it around so he could straddle it. “Sit down, Jonah. We need to talk, okay?”
Jonah nodded and perched nervously on the edge of the bed. “What is it?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said over the past few days, and…” Laurie paused, brushing his brown bangs off of his forehead as he let out a long, slow breath. “I’ll do it,” he finally finished, just when Jonah was starting to feel like he might jump out of his skin. “But I have a couple conditions.”
Jonah swallowed, his hands fisting into the material of the comforter at his sides. “Okay. Tell me.”
“If we’re going to do this, I want it to be exclusive. I don’t play around.” Laurie’s eyes were completely serious. “If you want to start having sex with other people, it’s done.”
Jonah nodded again. He didn’t have any problem with that, and he didn’t like the idea of Laurie with som
eone else anyway. Exclusivity was a perk, as far as he was concerned, not a stipulation that might put him off. But he stayed silent and waited for Laurie to continue.
“The other thing is, we’re going to have to find somewhere else to do it. Your grandparents are letting me stay here all summer. I don’t want to disrespect them.”
“Okay. I understand that.” Jonah hesitated briefly, giving Laurie a chance to speak again. When Laurie didn’t say anything, he asked, “And that’s all?”
“Yeah.”
Jonah worried at his lower lip for a moment. “How soon can we start?”
Laurie’s head tilted to the side as he considered. After a few seconds, he shrugged. “I guess that’s your call.”
“Tonight?” Jonah knew his eagerness was coming through loud and clear, but he was beyond caring at that point. Laurie had agreed, and Jonah didn’t want to give him too much time to dwell on it and change his mind again.
Laurie look surprised, but he nodded. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”
Jonah grinned. “It is. And don’t worry. I know the perfect place we can—”
“Laurie, you up there, darlin’?”
Jonah’s gaze jerked to the door at the sound of his grandmother’s voice. It was coming from far away, possibly the bottom of the staircase, but she might as well have been standing in the doorway for how guilty he felt. Yeah, he could definitely see Laurie’s reasoning for not wanting to have sex in the house with his grandparents around. He was already feeling kind of embarrassed and all they were doing was talking about it.
“Coming, MawMaw!” Laurie called back. He stood and added in an undertone, “Meet me in the gazebo at nine. We’ll go from there.”
He left the room before Jonah could respond. A moment later, Jonah heard his grandmother speak again. “There you are, Laurie. I need your muscles to help me put these boxes in the truck. I can’t lift them with these scrawny old lady arms.”
“Old?” Laurie replied, his voice fading as he moved farther away. “Lady, you don’t look a day over thirty-five!”
“Boy, flattery will get you everywhere.” Jonah’s grandmother laughed. “Keep going…”
Jonah smirked at their banter, but the expression vanished as quickly as it had come. Laurie had said yes. He’d said yes.
Oh, my God. This is really going to happen. The idea was all good and well in theory. But in practice it would be a whole different story. Would Laurie be able to tell just how clueless Jonah really was? He hoped not. I’m going to have sex tonight. With Laurie. Sweat broke out on Jonah’s forehead. Holy shit.
****
The walk to the gazebo never felt longer than it did that night as Jonah followed the trail leading away from his grandparents’ house toward the lake. If he believed in things like destiny or kismet, he would have thought the fates had conspired to give him the perfect night. Everything from the grass to the trees was tinged silver by the light of the full moon overhead. A cool breeze came off the water, a welcome contrast to the muggy, oppressive feel that had lingered in the air all day. It was serene. Beautiful. But with every step Jonah took, his nerves coiled tighter and tighter so that when the shingled roof of the gazebo finally came into view, he thought he might snap from the strain.
Yeah, maybe the setting was perfect. Jonah, however, was not. Inside, he was totally petrified. It wasn’t that he was afraid of Laurie. Or of the sex, really. It was more the idea of disappointing Laurie that had him nervous. He knew Laurie would never tease him, not about something like that, and it wasn’t as if Laurie didn’t know that Jonah was a virgin. But when he thought of all of the possible ways he could mess up or make a fool of himself in front of Laurie during the next few hours…well, that was scary. Above all, he didn’t want Laurie to think of him as some ridiculous kid who was too wet behind the ears to make any kind of relationship worthwhile.
Jonah knew about the mechanics, of course. Insert tab A into slot B and all that. But how to touch, how to stroke, how much pressure to apply, when to back off or when to push, when to dominate and when to surrender—that wasn’t something he could learn by online research alone. And he wanted it to be great for Laurie. Beyond great. He wanted it to be mind-blowingly, eyes-rolling-into-the-back-of-your-head fucking amazing. Hell, square that. Multiple it times infinity. He wanted it to be that good. There-are-no-words-to-describe-it kind of good.
Then when Laurie wanted him, craved him, couldn’t go five minutes without thinking about him, maybe he’d finally have just a small, infinitesimal clue how Jonah had been feeling for the last five years. Ever since that moment a week before Jonah turned fourteen when Laurie stepped through his parents’ front door after being away for the entire summer and brought all of the sunshine and warmth in the world right along with him.
That was the moment Jonah’s body came out of its prepubescent haze and snapped to attention. He knew that godlike vision of Laurie probably had a lot more to do with his rampant teenage hormones than any actual truth, but he wasn’t able to rid himself of it in all of the years that followed. Laurie was still Jonah’s number one crush, ultimate fantasy, dream come to life. You name it, that’s what Laurie was to Jonah. The attraction was unshakable. And maybe there was even a part of him—a little, tiny, miniscule part—that was already in love with Laurie. Just a smidge. Really.
So, was it any wonder that he was nervous? Not actually.
Sucking in a deep, fortifying breath, Jonah closed the remaining distance between the gravel walkway and the gazebo. Laurie was leaning against the railing, facing the dark expanse of the lake, but he straightened and turned as Jonah made his way up the steps.
Jonah’s heart ka-thumped at the sight of him. Laurie was wearing loose-fitting jeans and a skintight tank top that showed off his toned arms and lightly muscled chest to perfection. As he drew nearer, Jonah could see that Laurie’s hair was still damp from a recent shower and smell the dark spice of the bath gel Laurie used. Jonah was well-acquainted with the scent. He’d done some snooping to find out the brand name the last time he visited Laurie and Marc up at school, and he’d made sure to buy himself a bottle when he got back home. He used it in the shower, though rarely for any actual washing. It really wasn’t his particular style. But the smell of it on Laurie? Yeah, that drove him a little crazy.
Jonah fought back the appreciative sigh that threatened to break free of his throat. What was up with that? Clearly his inner teenage girl was trying to claw her way to the surface. But, damn, a part of him kind of wished he could prop his chin on his hand and just let that dreamy little sigh out. Of course, another part of him had entirely different ideas. And those ideas had more to do with things going in. And then out. And then—no, best not to think of that just yet. He was trying to calm himself down, not rile himself up. Focus, Jonah.
“Hey,” he said, grateful that none of the anxiety he was feeling could be heard in his voice.
Laurie smiled slightly. “Hey. So, where is this place you know of?”
Jonah grinned. “The guesthouse. My grandma always keeps it ready for visitors in the summer, and the bedroom is in the back of the house, facing the woods. Even if we turn the light on, no one will be able to see. It’s perfect.” When Laurie didn’t respond right away, Jonah’s grin started to waver. “Is that…are you still not comfortable with—”
“No, it’s fine,” Laurie interrupted with a shake of his head. “Sorry, I was just…never mind. Yeah, that’s good.”
“Okay.”
“Well, let’s go then.”
While the walk to the gazebo had seemed long, the walk to the guesthouse seemed excessively short. Before Jonah knew it, they were upstairs in the master bedroom. He tossed the spare key he’d snagged from the mudroom at the main house onto the dresser and then leaned back against it, feeling awkward. Laurie was looking around the room with a weird expression on his face, but it faded the moment he noticed that Jonah was watching him, replaced instead by a tight little smile.
�
�If we’re going to do this,” he said, “you should probably come closer.”
Jonah’s entire body went hot and cold. He swallowed hard and nodded, then crossed the room to stand beside the bed. He sat on the edge, still a few feet away from Laurie, and immediately started fidgeting with the floral-patterned comforter.
Laurie’s smile went from strained to amused. “Nervous?” he asked as he started to dig into his right pocket.
Jonah’s mouth went dry at the sight of a small tube of lube and handful of condoms. He stared as Laurie placed the stash on the bedside table. “D-Do we need those? Not the lube, but the…I mean, you’re clean, right? And you know I’ve never…”
Laurie hesitated for a few seconds. “Yeah, I’m clean. But, Jonah, you can’t trust just any guy who says that to you.”
“I know. I’m not stupid. But you’re not just any guy, Laurie. I know you’d never put me at risk.”
“No.” Laurie sighed softly. “I wouldn’t.” He stepped closer and sat on the bed next to Jonah, leaving only a few inches between them. “Look, I haven’t been with anyone since I broke up with my ex in December, and I’ve been tested a couple times since then. So, yeah, I know for a fact that I’m clean. But you have to promise me something before we do this, Jonah.”
“Okay. Anything you want.”
“Promise me that you won’t just take any guy who says that to you at his word. Don’t ever let anyone do you bare unless you’re monogamous and you know he’s committed to you.”
Jonah nodded. That would be an easy enough promise. He didn’t ever want to be with anyone else, but even if he and Laurie never actually got together as a couple, he’d never allow such a thing without a solid foundation of trust. “Okay. I swear.” He paused and nervously licked his lips. “Have you ever…?”
Laurie shook his head. “No.”
“But you will? With me?”
Laurie turned to face him. In the dim bedroom light his eyes were more greeny-gold than brown. They reminded Jonah of autumn when the leaves first began to change. “If that’s what you want.”
Don't Read in the Closet volume one Page 57