After All

by Emery, Lynn

  “Open up, girl,” Shantae said through the door.

  “Hey now. What are you doing over this way?”Michelle led the way back to her kitchen.

  “I got off from work, you know and just thought I'd stop by and see what you're up to.” Shantae picked up a piece of carrot and began munching on it.

  “Shantae, this is not on your way home or on the way to your mother's house.”Michelle leaned against the counter.”What's up?”

  “I stopped by to, you know, say hi and... You act like I'm up to no good.” Shantae eyes were wide and innocent looking.

  “You're lying. Whenever your eyes get big and keep saying `you know' you're lying.”

  Shantae turned her head so that her eyes were hidden from Michelle's view.”No I'm not. Honest, I haven't talked to you in almost a week. I, you kn--, I mean--how's it going? How was the banquet Saturday?”

  “Ah-ha! You talked to Laree. The mouth of the south couldn't wait to tell you.”Michelle stabbed a finger at her.

  “Tell me what, Chelle? I don't have any idea what you're talking about.”Shantae put down her purse and sat on the stool at the breakfast bar.

  “That Anthony was there and we talked.”

  “Oh, yeah. Now that you mention it, Laree did say something. . . I wasn't paying too much attention though.” Shantae gave a careless wave of her hand.

  “I see. The banquet was nice.”Michelle continued cooking. Watching her friend with a side-long glance, she changed the subject. “How was your weekend?”

  “It was okay. So Anthony was at the banquet. What's he up to these days?”

  “Nothing much. Say, you're welcome to have some of

  this, I've got plenty. I tell you, today was hectic--”

  “Okay, so I'm lying. What happened with you and Anthony? Did he ask you out? Tell me everything.” Shantae dropped her pretense of being interested in chit chat.

  Michelle shrugged.”All he said was that we should at least be on friendly terms and maybe we'd have lunch this week. . . or sometime. It was no big deal really.”

  “Didn't call, huh?” Shantae clucked sympathetically.

  “He didn't promise to call. And I didn't promise that I'd go out to lunch with him.”Michelle banged the spatula into the sink.”Who cares? I have a life, thank you.”

  “This is Shantae you talking to, sugar. Let it out. Holding in that hurt ain't good for ya.” Shantae came around to put an arm on her shoulder.

  “Get off me, girl. I'm not holding anything in. I haven't seen the man in almost six years and we weren't speaking then.”Michelle shook Shantae's arm away.

  “Sure, tell me anything. I was away at Jackson State when y'all were dating in college. But Laree told me how you were crazy for the dude. Couldn't get enough of his sweet stuff.”

  Count on Laree to remind her about the intensity of her affair with Anthony. They were together every day, holding hands or hugging. They shared a wonderful intimacy reserved for two people with a passion for each other.

  Michelle scowled at her.”Don't be so crude. And Laree's mouth is going to get her butt in a whole lotta trouble.”

  “Come on now, we're you're girls. Like the song says, lean on me.” Shantae placed a hand over her heart.

  “Will you stop,” Michelle retorted.”I'm going to lean on you all right if you don't quit. Anthony is the past. I mean, I was just being polite.”The phone rang once and she grabbed it.

  Shantae smirked at her.”My, eager to answer it aren't we?”

  Michelle stuck her tongue out at her before ducking into her bedroom with the cordless phone. She locked the door behind her.

  “That answered my question,” Shantae yelled.”You still want him.”

  Five minutes later, Michelle emerged from the room with the phone. The scowl had softened and she moved with more relaxed motions. Though she was careful to keep a bland expression, Shantae was not deceived.

  “I have some ice tea if you'd like.”Michelle turned quickly away from her scrutiny.

  “I'll get it. ”Shantae got a glass from the cabinet and the pitcher of tea from the refrigerator.”When and where? And don't even try telling me it wasn't him. You've got a sparkle in your eyes that you didn't have before you got that call.”Seeing Michelle's mouth open, she cut her off.

  “Wednesday, Cheramie's.” Michelle scooped up a large spoonful of vegetables and placed them on a plate for Shantae. “But it doesn't mean what you think.”The soft, dreamy look in her eyes told a very different story.

  ***

  “That shade of blue is perfect on you.”Anthony gave her an admiring once over.

  Michelle blushed, and then felt like a silly teenager for it. Her embarrassment was made even more acute because of the two hours she had spent the night before deciding what outfit to wear. After much agonizing between her dark red suit and the royal blue dress, the dress won. It made her hips look smaller she had decided after eyeing herself in the full length mirror in her bedroom for the fifth time. She had agreed to meet him, unsure that she was ready for him to pick her up. That was too much like a date for her comfort.

  “I'm really glad you said yes, to lunch.”Anthony sat forward.” I've been wanting to tell you how great I think it is to see you on television. I knew you'd make it though.”

  “What about you? Your own business. From what I hear, you're building a reputation for some of the best work around in the construction business. At least, to hear Shantae bragging on Cedric.”

  “We've done better than even we expected. But it's been a lot of long hours and putting most of the profits back into the business.”Anthony fidgeted with his napkin.”I wanted to call you when I first got back, but I... wasn't sure what to say.”

  “We didn't part on very good terms,” Michelle said awkwardly.

  Gazing at his face, Michelle did not want to say the

  reason they had parted so bitterly. Though she had been fighting all the old feelings, successfully as long as they did not meet face to face, seeing him brought them vividly alive. A fact that thrilled and frightened her. For weeks now she had tried to revive the animosity that had filled her six years ago in an effort quell her attraction to him. Yet she could not deny being with Anthony again felt good, even though they were surrounded by people.

  “Michelle, I didn't do a very good job back then of explaining myself or showing you how I felt. I can only plead stupidity, and immaturity. It was a rough time for you. I should have been more sensitive.”Anthony still did not look up.

  “For both of us, I suppose. Your Uncle Ike and my dad, two men very important to us, clashed in a big way. It was natural that we'd each defend family.”Michelle lifted her shoulders slightly.

  “I don't agree with everything Uncle Ike does, but he saved my life. When my dad walked out on mama and me, we both went through some bad changes. Mama struggled to make a living. We had our electricity cut off more than once.”

  “Oh, Anthony, I never realized it was that bad.”Michelle felt a small shock.

  Anthony's mama, Lizabeth, had always seemed in good spirits. Sure their house did not look as well kept as the others in their middle-class neighborhood, but it had never occurred to her they had been on the edge of being destitute. Michelle now thought of herself as a having been a self-involved, insensitive teenager not to have understood what should have been so plain if only she had been paying attention.

  “And she had her hands full trying to keep me in line. I was heading for trouble when Uncle Ike stepped in. Some of the guys I used to run with are in prison now, one on death row.”

  “I know. It must be horrible losing friends.”Michelle was moved he had shared something that was obviously so painful.

  “Hey, I'm not looking for sympathy or making excuses for me or him. I only wanted to explain why I acted the way I did.”Anthony looked up, his eyes intense.”I feel about him the way you feel about your father.”

  “You know, this is the first time we've talked about this without yelling at each o
ther, me insulting your uncle, and you storming off. Maybe we've both grown up,” Michelle said.

  “Maybe so.”Anthony's face relaxed as the troubled expression faded.

  Michelle forced her gaze away from those eyes that held her.”Ummm... everything on the menu looks so good it's hard to decide.

  To her relief, the waiter appeared at that moment to take their orders. She needed time to sort out the torrent of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. For the rest of the lunch, she kept the conversation confined to catching up on old friends, talking about their work, and other topics she felt were safe. Standing in front of the restaurant afterwards, they smiled shyly at each other.

  “Well, I better get going. I have a meeting later.”Anthony didn't move.

  “Me too.”Michelle shifted from one foot to the next.

  “I've got tickets to a Jazz recital on campus this Saturday night. Would you like to go? We could have dinner first since it doesn't start until eight.

  “Things seem to be going so fast... Michelle bit her lower lip. Somehow control of this situation was slipping from her. Or was it silly to think she ever did or could control her desire for him?

  “Two old friends who enjoy jazz and love good food, that's all we're talking about.”Anthony spoke quickly to ease the anxiety in her voice.

  Michelle stared into his eyes for a long moment. Her heart jumped at the anticipation she read there.” Okay, I'd like that.”

  Driving back to the station, Michelle was in a bright mood. Turning up the radio, she bounced to the old rhythm and blues tunes being played. Tunes that she had once danced to with Anthony when they were in college. She smiled remembering how they all cherished their record collections, mostly oldies their parents had held onto from their college days. It would be so great to once again share the pleasure of hearing wonderful music with him again. Still humming an old Sam and Dave song, she entered the newsroom.

  “Lunch was nice, huh?” Gracie winked at her.

  “Not bad, not bad at all. What's up around here?” Michelle sat down.

  “Be thankful you've been gone. Lockport is a very unhappy news director. Channel Six scooped us with an exclusive on the noon newscast. Seems there's a possible link with that councilwoman's son arrested for possession a while ago to a burglary ring. Jason's in hot water for not following up and getting a reporter out when Nathan asked him to.”

  “Humm,” Michelle's said, her voice flat with disinterest as she turned on her computer.

  “Jennifer is peeved because she got shoved around at the school board meeting, lots of angry parents about the latest busing plan. Her story is short by almost two minutes so Jason, poor thing, had to scramble for a filler so the both the five and six newscast won't run short--”

  “Serves 'em both right,” Michelle said with a satisfied smirk.

  “And Nathan is in a real foul mood and asking for you.”

  “Uh-oh.”Michelle's eyebrows drew together in consternation.

  “Exactly. Speak of the devil,” Gracie mumbled then hustled off in the opposite direction from which

  Nathan was approaching.

  “Why are you still here, O'Hannon? Aren't there two

  stories you should be out on?”Nathan's growl rolled across the room.

  “On my way now, boss.”Gracie vanished around a corner.

  “Hi, Nathan. Love that shirt. Is it new? Nice fabric.”Michelle rubbed a corner of his cuff between her thumb and forefinger.

  “Save it, Toussaint. Where the hell have you been all morning?”Nathan was like a hungry lion that still had not been fed.

  “Why doing my job, of course. The school bus stop safety thing you sent me out on, remember?” Michelle said.

  “Oh, yeah.”Nathan lost some of his thunder.

  “I had an appointment with head of the school transportation department. What's wrong?”Michelle, patting his arm, gave him a look of concern.”

  “Don't mess with me today, Toussaint.”Nathan scowled at her, but his voice had lost some of its gruffness.”That guy Greg Matthews called. Sounded kind of jumpy. Maybe he's decided to tell you more after all. But don't wait too long. Like I said, he could lose his nerve any minute. Said to call him at home cause he's off today.”

  “I'm on it.”Michelle flipped open her small personal

  phone book.

  “What's the occasion?”Nathan pointed to her dress and pumps.

  “No occasion. Met somebody for lunch, an old classmate.”

  “Oh, a lunch date.”

  “No, we just met for lunch.”

  “A guy?”

  “Ye-es.”Michelle squirmed under his steady gaze.

  “You dressed up to meet some guy. That's called a date.”Nathan walked off.

  “Was not!”Michelle yelled after him, and then was abashed when several people turned to stare at her. Nathan kept walking.

  ***

  “What changed your mind?”Michelle sat next to Greg Matthews at a McDonald's restaurant near his house.

  “This is owned by a Theo Lazarus, a Black man.” Greg swung his arm wide.” Gave jobs to a lot of poor kids 'round here, you know? Got college students from Southern tutoring the ones he finds out are having problems with their lessons. He's made it and doing something good. But not all of them are like that.” He sighed deeply.

  “I know.”Michelle stared out of the large glass window at the poor neighborhood.

  “Couple of days ago, a little three year old baby pushed right on through a door. He went out on the balcony of his mama's third floor apartment and ended up at the bottom of the stairs. He's in the charity hospital right now with a broken arm and two broken ribs.”

  “Terrible, but I don't understand what that's got to do with my story.”

  “His mother been beggin' them to fix it for the last six months. They did a cheap patch job. I can't sleep nights knowin' maybe I could do something to make things better. Fixin' up the projects ain't just a cosmetic thing, see what I'm sayin'? People are gettin' hurt.” Greg stared at the untouched cup of cola in front of him.

  “You think your friend would talk to me?”

  “No way, she needs her job bad.”

  “Then I'm back where I was before you called. It doesn't help to hear all this but not be able to use the information. Charlotte Kinchen will just deny any of this is true.”

  “She won't talk to you, but she'll get copies of work orders stamped completed and the invoices showing the company that got paid for the work. Will that help?” Peering around, Greg leaned across the table speaking in a barely audible voice.

  “You bet! Oh, sorry.”Michelle lowered her voice.” That would be a great way to start.”

  “Another thing, there's folks living in some of these projects won't mind talking to you. In fact, a couple have formed tenants groups. They've been complaining, but Miss Kinchen just ignores them mostly. I'll get the names from my friend.”

  “Thanks a lot, Greg. And thank your friend for me.”

  “We wanna see some change, Miss Toussaint. I won't lie; I'd enjoy seeing some of the so-called big shots get what's coming to them. But nobody should have to live the way those poor folks live.”

  “I'll do my best, Greg.”

  Michelle wondered later if she could live up to his expectations. The stakes seemed to be higher than just informing the public about a violation of their trust by officials being paid to manage a government program. Like Greg Matthews, she was reminded of the effects on those who had to endure the conditions in the government subsidized houses and apartments. Had she been equally honest with him, she would have admitted that the prospect of exposing Ike Batiste was what really hooked her. Now, she felt a little ashamed. On her way back to the office, Michelle began to outline a different approach. She decided to profile the lives of tenants trapped in what seemed like a merry-go-round of misery. Stories of their courage and struggles could stand in stark contrast to the obstacles they faced, including those thrown up by a system int
ended to aid them. The closer she got to the station, the more she convinced of changing the direction of the story.

  “Hey, you seem fired up.”Earl peered over her shoulder.

  “Umm. I just happened to see Mansur, our esteemed News Director, a few minutes ago. I pitched the idea of beginning my series of investigative reports on wrongdoing at the Housing Authority with at least two reports on the conditions of public housing. Also, I'm going to profile some of the residents from a human interest point of view. Mansur gave me the green light.”Michelle's fingers flew over the keyboard.”Brilliant, if I do say so myself.”

  “Scoring one with the big dog, smart move.” Earl let out a long whistled of appreciation. “Of course, it going to piss Jason off big time.”

  “How will I sleep nights,” Michelle snorted. Ending a sentence, she saved the text.”How've you been?”

  Earl's face screwed up into a frown. “Awful. Cheryl is on this macrobiotic kick. Meals at home have become torture. She quit speaking to me for an entire day when she found an empty French fry bag in my car.”

  “Hang in there, next week it'll be something new.”

  “That's what scares me. Since she turned thirty-five, she's been obsessed with finding the secret to staying young and healthy.”Earl sank down in a nearby chair.

  “She looks fabulous, always has.”

  “I tell her that, but the fact that I'm five years younger bothers her now.”Earl took a deep breath.

  “Then keep telling her. And show her, too. Nothing elaborate, but compliment her on her everyday things she does for you. Even those meals.”

  “I can't promise that,” Earl laughed.

  “Speaking of unhappy wives, have you talked to Mrs. Bridges yet?”

  Earl moaned.” Oh boy, have I. She spent the better part of an hour listing all his affairs, and everything he's done to mistreat her for the past fifteen years. It took all of my self-control not to cut her off and tell her I wasn't her marriage counselor. I'm going to talk to her again, but it doesn't look like she'll give me anything solid.”