The Secret Father

by Kim Lawrence

  ‘I’m expending a hell of a lot of energy keeping you at arm’s length. I don’t think it’s one of my better ideas. I think my original plan is counter-productive.’

  ‘Refresh my memory. Is this the one where we don’t have sex?’

  ‘Not one of my more realistic ideas.’

  Lindy gaped at him. He really was unbelievably arrogant. ‘It worked for me.’

  He regarded her with an amused expression of affection in his hot, midsummer-blue eyes. ‘Are you trying to tell me you don’t find me attractive?’

  ‘It must be your modesty that turned my head.’ There was soul-stealing devilment in his eyes and she sensed her struggle to resist was doomed.

  ‘Cut it out, Rosalind, I’m trying to be straight with you. I’ve never confused genuine emotion with the sort of fixations some women get about men who have high-profile jobs. I know what I do cuts no ice with you—and I like that.’

  ‘You do?’ Better to be a fraud, she decided, than admit to him how often she’d walked away from one of his movies happily fantasising like most of the female audience.

  ‘Of course I do.’ He suddenly let go of her and rubbed his fingers distractedly through his dark hair. ‘I’m not suggesting we leap into bed.’

  Lindy swayed slightly. She’d wanted him to let her go yet now he had she felt oddly bereft. ‘You’re not?’ She’d been under the impression that that was exactly what he’d been suggesting. Her delinquent mind had already examined several ways he might achieve this object. ‘Why not? What’s wrong with me?’ Her hands went up to cover her mouth. ‘I don’t believe I said that!’

  Sam’s eyes sparkled with laughter and some of the tension seemed to drain from his body. ‘Quite a lot, but nothing terminal,’ he soothed. ‘I thought we might get to know one another.’

  ‘Fine,’ she said tightly.

  I’m ready to take a leap blindly into the dark and he wants to talk sport, hobbies and politics! she thought. It was mortifying to realise that she’d been his for the taking but he hadn’t bothered. This puts things painfully in perspective, she thought bitterly.

  ‘You want me now.’ His heavily lashed eyes were watching her closely. ‘Because you want the decision taken out of your hands.’

  She shot him a startled look. ‘That’s not…’ she began in a choked voice, wishing she didn’t have to listen to the voice of caution in her head, but could allow the strong sexual chemistry to drown out her fears. His observation had a painful element of truth in it.

  ‘You were saying?’ he drawled slowly as the denial shrivelled on her tongue. ‘In the morning you’d be able to decide, quite comfortably, that this was all some momentary aberration. That I’d taken advantage of you at a vulnerable moment. After all, I’m a shallow, film-star stud. Isn’t that what we do?’ he drawled sarcastically.

  ‘Why should you care what I feel like tomorrow?’ she hit back. ‘I suppose you’re worried I won’t carry on working for you.’

  ‘Get real, Rosalind; there are plenty of doctors who’d jump at the opportunity to replace you,’ he said scornfully. ‘Maybe I don’t give a damn what you feel like. Maybe I am shallow and egocentric! Maybe this is about what I want. Maybe I want more…’ A compelling intensity that totally transfixed Lindy had entered his voice. ‘Maybe I think the foundations of any relationship are important. If you want it to last.’

  ‘And you want it to last?’ She saw the shock in her voice suddenly mirrored on his face. He froze.

  ‘Things are going awfully fast here,’ he muttered, rubbing his hand over the faint growth of stubble on his chin, ‘but I think I must be saying that.’ He glared at her almost warily. ‘You aggravate me to hell!’ he said, half to himself. ‘The honest truth is I find you fascinating, Rosalind Lacey, and not just on a sexual level. Although,’ he added, with a sudden grin, ‘that is a major factor!’

  Lindy stared at him in disbelief. ‘I think I need to sit down. Do you use this line often?’ she enquired, more out of habit than conviction, as she weakly sank into a rattan chair. She caught hold of a cushion and hugged it to her chest.

  ‘If all I wanted to do was bed you, I could have done that without any soul-searching,’ he reminded her ruthlessly. ‘I’m not some predator,’ he snarled.

  She winced as she looked up at him and saw his expression was dark with anger. Ironically, he looked exactly like what he was denying at that moment. A shiver of apprehension slid slowly down her spine. He was a man with strong passions—a dangerous man. He didn’t live in the same world as her. Was getting involved with Sam Rourke the sort of thing a sensible girl did?

  ‘What are you suggesting?’ she asked quietly. She didn’t want to know. She’d almost made an awful mistake and, ironically, Sam had stopped her. She ought to be making it very clear she wasn’t interested in anything he might suggest. She ought to be repairing the great gaping hole in her defences.

  ‘Friends, loving friends.’ Lindy felt colour stain her skin as he emphasised the word. ‘We let things develop with an open mind and see what happens. Any time one of us wants out—’

  ‘We walk,’ she finished. It sounded very reasonable; so why did she feel uneasy? Getting to know Sam would make her vulnerable. This fact screamed at her but she ignored it. She could cope, couldn’t she? Could she finally trust her own judgement?

  ‘With no hard feelings.’

  ‘You mean no kiss-and-tell stories in the tabloids?’ She shot him a challenging glare. He’d better not be suggesting that!

  ‘If I’m any judge of character that will never be an issue.’

  ‘Thank you—I think,’ she said drily. ‘So what do we do now?’ I don’t have to go anywhere, she reminded herself. This will all end in tears, Lindy, girl!

  Considering one of the most sinfully desirable men in the world wanted to date her, Lindy felt a curious sense of anticlimax. Her body was still feeling cheated out of the lovemaking it had craved, the lovemaking it had anticipated.

  ‘Doesn’t all this—’ she made a wide encompassing gesture ‘—lack a certain spontaneity?’

  Why hadn’t he let her assuage this gnawing, aching hunger? All she’d needed was to lose herself in the mindless oblivion that beckoned every time she looked at him. Now things were complicated—dangerous.

  The phone began to ring shrilly before Sam had an opportunity to reply. Lindy’s glare was filled with the ambivalence that churned in her stomach. She turned her back on him and went into the living room to pick up the receiver.

  ‘Adam!’ Delighted surprise filled her voice as she heard the familiar deep tones at the other end. Adam forestalled her query as to her sister’s health and then proceeded to give her news that took her breath away.

  Sam had followed her into the room and stood leaning his muscular frame against the wall. His eyes didn’t leave Lindy’s face as she had what appeared to be a very one-sided conversation. Whatever was being said made her face light up with sheer delight. His own expression grew almost sombre as he watched her. He felt an unexpected stab of jealousy for the person who could give her so much pleasure. He was gripped by a fierce determination to make Rosalind smile at him like that.

  Lindy replaced the receiver and looked at him with a stunned expression. She gave a small, silly grin. ‘That was Adam,’ she said happily.

  ‘Who the hell is Adam?’ Sam growled the question that was uppermost in his mind.

  ‘I told you, Adam is my brother-in-law,’ Lindy said impatiently, hardly registering the aggression in his voice. ‘Oh, Sam, Anna’s having a baby—two babies actually. She’s sick, but otherwise all right, Adam says. Isn’t it marvellous!’

  With a cry that was halfway between a laugh and a sob, she ran across the room and threw herself at the general area of his chest. Sam responded in the required fashion and lifted her bodily into his arms with crushing enthusiasm.

  ‘It sure feels pretty marvellous to me,’ he agreed. ‘Why are you crying?’

  ‘I’m so happy.’


  ‘Stupid question,’ he said, sliding the damp strands of her pale hair from the side of her face and tucking them behind her ear.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Lindy asked in a dazed fashion as he began to stride out of the room with her in his arms.

  ‘I’m being spontaneous,’ he said, with a very devilish grin. ‘Very spontaneous.’ She felt a rumble of satisfaction in his chest as he kicked open a bedroom door with unnecessary force.

  ‘What about getting to know one another?’

  Sam laid her carefully down on his bed. ‘One of the first things you’ll learn about me is that I’m subject to violent mood swings and I have a habit of overestimating my endurance. I prefer to call it adapting to a change in circumstances,’ he explained smoothly. The expression in his eyes made her shudder as an answering primitive hunger jolted through her body.

  ‘It’s as well to know the worst,’ she said breathlessly as he deftly untied the belt of her robe.

  His mouth silenced any further observations with ruthless efficiency.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  LINDY lay in the gathering darkness, unable to sleep even though her body was weary. The night was sultry and the curtains pulled across the open window barely stirred in the stillness. The man beside her moved.

  His features were a blur in the dark. The thin sheet skimmed his hips, leaving his powerful torso exposed. Lindy ran her fingers lightly down the curve of his powerful shoulder, over his hair-sprinkled chest to the flat hardness of his belly. The layer of sweat that had recently covered his skin had evaporated and his skin had a marvellous satiny texture. She stilled her exploration as he shifted in his sleep once more, drawing closer to her.

  It wasn’t a dream, it was real. For better or worse Sam Rourke was her lover. As if to convince herself it was real, her mind kept replaying recent events.

  His mouth had barely seemed to leave hers, but somehow he had accomplished the complicated removal of her damp swimsuit before she had even realised it. The memory of the greedy growl that had reverberated in his throat as he’d knelt above her and looked long and slowly at her naked form made her stomach muscles flutter almost as much as they had at the time.

  Sensible Dr Lacey would have been alarmed at the primitive expression of desire that had blazed in his magnificent eyes, but Lindy had felt a swell of reckless anticipation. Her body had felt so sensitised by his survey that she’d almost imagined electrical currents were running under her skin.

  ‘You are beautiful,’ he’d gasped rawly.

  ‘I haven’t done this for a long time.’ It was something she’d had to get out of the way then whilst she was still capable.

  ‘How long?’

  ‘Long.’ She pushed aside memories she didn’t want. It was marvellously easy when Sam filled her thoughts.

  ‘Then we’ll have to make this worth the wait, won’t we?’ he murmured silkily.

  Lindy nodded in silent agreement as he lowered his frame onto the bed beside her. His touch was tantalisingly soft as he moved over her body. With a moan she lifted her head and dragged his face to her own.

  ‘Kiss me!’ she demanded fiercely. His lips were only a breath away—the musky, male odour of him filled her nostrils. She wanted to fill her senses with him. The roar of blood thundering in her temples was deafening.

  The force of his mouth as it plundered her own pressed her back deep into the pillow. Her body felt fluid as she wrapped her arms around his neck and, back arched, pressed closer to him. When he lifted his head her breathing was wildly erratic.

  ‘You’re so beautiful,’ she panted as his tongue flicked over the graceful curve of her throat.

  ‘You love me for my face?’ His voice was thick and muffled as his hands explored the rounded contours of her breasts.

  ‘I think the rest of you might be passable too, only it’s difficult to tell right now—’ A sharp gasp cut off her words. Sam’s lips had closed around one pink ruched bud. The sensation as he suckled fiercely sent her out of control. She was burning up and Sam had lit the fire!

  She slid her hands over his shoulders and made contact with his skin. She made a small guttural sound of satisfaction. Urgently, she moved her hands lower down his back. There was the sound of fabric tearing and he lifted his head sharply.

  With an abrupt, jerky motion he rose to his knees and began fumbling with his shirt buttons. Lindy found his unsteady efforts far more exciting than the beautifully lit, choreographed slickness of his love scenes on film. With a soft curse he pulled at the garment, sending the remaining buttons flying in several directions. This wasn’t soft-focus lovemaking—this was urgent and primal.

  Tongue caught between her teeth, Lindy reached up to unfasten the buckle on his leather belt. She shot him hot, furtive glances from under the fringe of her lashes as she pulled the denim apart. Using the leverage of her fingers in his waistband, she hoisted herself up from the bed until her tight, tingling breasts were pressed against the warm, hard flesh of his belly.

  The strength quite abruptly drained from her body, and if Sam hadn’t wrapped one powerful arm around her middle at the critical moment she’d have slid bonelessly back against the covers.

  ‘I’m shaking,’ she whispered.

  ‘That makes two of us.’ His smile caressed and beguiled her.

  ‘Well, I hope you can manage the rest of your clothes because my co-ordination has taken a holiday.’ Her smouldering glance moved over his face as if it were tasting him. At least her eyes couldn’t leave any marks. Best not to risk the ire of a production company. The thought wrenched a small bubble of laughter from her throat.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ he asked throatily. He pushed his free hand into her hair and inclined her head towards him. The gift of her throat proved too much to resist. With a hoarse moan he bent over and tasted the salty flavour of her creamy, flawless skin. As his mouth slid lower so did they, until she lay supine, shadowed by his protective bulk.

  She felt a moment’s agitation when he raised himself up onto his knees and distanced himself from her. The blip in her bliss was only momentary as he proved that, even if he was afflicted by the shakes, he was more than capable of removing his clothing.

  Her languorous glance slid slowly and deliberately from his face. He reacted with pulsing awareness to her eyes, as if their touch were real. The thought of actually touching the silky, sheathed hardness made her draw a voluptuous, shuddering sigh.

  ‘Have mercy, lover; this is meant to be sweet and slow.’ He lowered his body down to cover her thigh to thigh, hard muscle to soft, yielding flesh.

  ‘What if I feel urgent and greedy?’ She spoke into his ear and curled her fingers into the dense springiness of his luxuriant hair. The weight of him, the glorious strength of his awesome body felt so good.

  ‘Then a last-minute change of direction might be arranged.’

  Her tongue sought the pulse spot at the base of his throat and a deep shudder rippled through his powerful frame. Memory told her she’d always been a passive partner in the dim and distant past. Discovering the unexpected delights of feminine power made her feel feverish and dizzy.

  ‘God, Sam, I think I’m out of control,’ she confessed raggedly against his damp skin.

  ‘The grooves you’re gouging in my back sort of give the game away.’ Despite the ambiguous cocktail of warmth and ferocity in his voice, the fingers that opened the foil wrapper were steady.

  His gentle probing of her most sensitive regions initiated a series of agonised pleas for release. The tormenting stroke of his fingers stopped long enough for him to anchor her thrashing head and look deep into her feverish eyes.

  ‘I want to watch you.’ And he did, the violet-blue of his eyes almost obliterated by his dilated pupils. The possessive exultation she saw there made Lindy want to shout out loud to release the explosion of pure joy she felt. She wasn’t entirely sure that she hadn’t done just that!

  Feeling the probing touch of his manhood against her own slick heat, Lindy ea
gerly wrapped her long pale legs around him. The anchor was complete as he slid smoothly into her.

  Her initial response was uncontrolled and fierce, but gradually she was swamped and absorbed by the delicate rhythm Sam slowly built up.

  ‘That’s it, sweetheart, don’t rush, hold on,’ Sam encouraged her hoarsely. He dug deeply into his reserves of self-control so as not to respond immediately to the thunderous roar in his blood. He didn’t want his own greed to spoil the special moment. The delicate balance of his control slipped when Lindy reached up and suckled one pebble-flat male nipple. With a harsh cry he plunged deeper into her welcoming heat and brought them both to a ferocious, gasping climax.

  ‘What are you thinking about?’

  ‘You.’ Turning her head to meet the sleepy, sexy stare, Lindy didn’t have time to wonder whether the truth might inflate his ego to unmanageable proportions.

  ‘Fascinating subject.’

  ‘Smug, egotistical—’ She broke off, laughing as he hooked one arm underneath her and, one hand firmly curved around her behind, shifted her onto her side. The gurgle of amusement faded as she found herself nose to nose with him.

  ‘You were saying?’ he murmured, watching her from under the sweep of those ludicrously long lashes.

  ‘You’re delicious,’ she said. It wasn’t a situation where defences or half-truths would do.

  ‘Delicious?’ He queried her use of adjective with a quirk of his mobile lips.

  ‘Uh-huh,’ she confirmed. ‘Like one of those delicious, sugary works of art it always seems criminal to eat.’

  He closed his eyes and whistled softly. ‘What a sinful picture.’

  ‘What is?’ she whispered, running her fingers over the hard curve of his angular jaw. Her touch met with the faint resistance of a slight covering of stubble. The sinfully suggestive surge of his body against her distracted Lindy from this fascinating discovery—everything about Sam was fascinating!