Christmas Cowboy

by Claire Adams

  "I really do love this cottage," he said. He tucked me under his arm as we looked around. "It's funny how it feels more cozy and comfortable here, even without furniture."

  "Don't be silly, Teddy," I said, pulling away again. "Your estate is beautiful. One of the most beautiful places I've ever been. I know I never admitted it before, but I would trade this for that in an instant."

  "You would?"

  There was such a razor blade of hope in his voice that it cut me. "You'd be a complete fool to ever give it up."

  "What if I found something better?" he asked.

  I felt his hands encircle my waist. The hands I had put up to push him back were now curved over his shoulders, and my feet were tucked between his shiny shoes. I knew it would hurt the second it was over, but, just for one moment, I wanted to imagine what it would be like. Just Teddy and I.

  The barest brush of his lips against mine made me swallow a cry. As much as I knew my heart would ache, my whole body pressed eagerly into the kiss. He was right there, his breath mingling with mine as our lips moved together, but I knew that Teddy would always be a world apart from me.

  A world that I worried Teddy would give up for me if I asked.

  How could I do that to him?

  The thought stilled my lips and commanded my hands to push him back. How could I ask him to sacrifice something like that for me? I knew what that kind of love felt like, and I couldn't ask someone else to feel it, too.

  "You have to go. Neighbor," I said.

  "Kiara, please," he clutched my waist.

  "I'm going to pay you back for all of this," I told him.

  He opened his mouth, and my heart leapt up. Then the back door clattered open, and Madison charged into the room. She flopped down in front of the fire, not even noticing our now awkward embrace.

  "I found some lawn chairs in the garage. It'll be like an indoor picnic. Hey, remember the time that your dad made a whole picnic? Man, it was rainy that day, but we sat on the floor and it felt just like a summer outing." Ivy marched through the back door with one chair and then in with another while she talked.

  "Kiara," Teddy whispered.

  I shook my head and pushed his hands away. "Madison? You want to get up and sit in a lawn chair?"

  Teddy edged his way out of the cottage. I watched him long after he'd vaulted over the split-rail fence and walked off. His bright, white dress shirt was a tiny star in the dark night when Madison finally snuffled and got to her feet.

  "Never fall in love with a man with baggage. Especially, if the baggage is a fortune in stocks and a family legacy he has to uphold," Madison cried.

  "Do you really want your last name to be Falcon?" Ivy asked. She flopped back in her lawn chair and noticed the champagne Teddy had left on the counter. "We should drink that."

  "We don't have any glasses," I said.

  "Straight from the bottle works for me," Ivy said.

  I started to unwind the foil and work on the champagne cork when Madison burst into tears again. "I can't!"

  "Can't do what, darling?" I asked.

  "Can't drink. I can't do anything anymore except wonder why Cameron doesn't love me," she wailed.

  "You're pregnant?"

  Ivy answered my question with an eye-roll. "You didn't guess? He knocked her up, but he's still going to marry the little miss perfect his family picked out for him. Can you believe that? Arranged marriage in the modern world. And he's choosing that over his true love and their child."

  "True love?" I asked.

  "I know it is," Madison said. "We were totally ourselves around each other. He told me I was the first girl he was really comfortable around. He doesn't like all the stuffy small talk and polite shit he has to do at those high-society gigs. Cameron's not like that."

  "He will be after he marries her," Ivy said. She snatched the bottle of champagne and took a swig. "At least, you've fallen in love. I haven't even had so much as a boyfriend."

  I sat down on the bottom half of Ivy's lawn chair. "I thought you were having too much fun partying to have a boyfriend."

  Ivy looked pained. "I know. It was fun for a while, but then that was the way we got invited to the good parties. You don't need money if you're a party girl."

  I felt a twinge in my chest. Ivy and Madison's mother gave them an allowance, but over the years, it had become a pay-off. It was no wonder the girls squandered the money when they knew it was a bribe to keep them out of their mother's way.

  "Cameron didn't care about the money. He told me he could live without it. Until his father told him the wedding had been all arranged," Madison sniffled. "He should choose me. How could he have chosen the money?"

  I squeezed her shoulder. "What if he had chosen you? What would it be like the first day he had to go to a real job? He'd miss that money and his old life, and he would wonder if he made the right decision. You'd fight all the time because he'd never really be happy. He'd have given up too much."

  She shook her head. "We would have been happy. He wouldn't have missed the money because we would have each other."

  A hollow ache spread from my chest to my head. Would Teddy and I have been happy? Had I pushed away a real chance at happiness?

  I took a long swig of the champagne before giving it back to a grinning Ivy. She sat forward and caught me and the champagne bottle in a tight hug.

  "It's nice to be home," she said.

  "Speaking of home," I squeaked, "I have good news that I forgot to tell you. Charlie is okay! He's coming home in a few weeks for an extended leave!"

  New tears wrung from Madison's eyes as she shoved onto the lawn chair with Ivy and I. "I'm so glad."

  "You just want him to kick Cameron Falcon's ass," Ivy teased.

  "You don't need Charlie for that," I said in my best momma-bear voice.

  The twins laughed and squeezed me tightly between them. Madison laid her head on my shoulder and heaved a ragged sigh.

  "What am I going to do, Kiara?" she asked.

  I wrapped an arm around her. "All you have to do is decide what color to paint the starboard room," I said. "We'll find a big bed so that we can all snuggle the baby together when it won't sleep."

  Madison tried a tentative smile. "I'm having a baby," she whispered.

  "No," Ivy said with an arm around us both. "We're having a baby!"

  Chapter Eighteen

  Teddy

  I shouldn't have been surprised that the party continued at my estate without me. High society had a way of ignoring any scenes that might interrupt an otherwise lovely night. There was music, dancing, more bottles being opened for the wine tasting, and fresh pizzas coming from the kitchen. I didn't want to go inside.

  Instead, I stood on the portico outside the ballroom and thought about the ultimatum my father had given me. It was tempting to turn away from this glittery world completely and see what else the world had to offer.

  I knew that people lived in one-room apartments, like my mother and I had when I was a child, and there was happiness to be found there. I looked through the windows and wondered if the opposite was true. Would I really be happy if I stayed tied to our family fortune?

  I knew where I really wanted to be, but I didn't have the heart to turn around and look at the cottage again. Kiara had her own problems to deal with. She didn't need me. It felt like the only thing I had to offer her was money, and money was the one thing that Kiara had learned to live without.

  Turning away from the clinking wine glasses and brittle laughter, I walked around to the kitchen door. Pappy had it propped open with one foot as he brought out the crates that held his cooking implements. I ducked as the wooden paddle he used to retrieve pizzas from the oven swung dangerously close to my head.

  "Sorry, didn't see you there," Pappy said.

  I knew he was lying by the quirk of his lips, so I stopped to hold the door open for him. "I still don't meet with your approval?"

  "Does that bother you?" He swung another crate out onto the step.
>
  I shrugged. "It seems to be going around tonight."

  "And feeling bad for yourself," he said. "I can see why Kiara was so happy to be in Brooklyn. We might work in a tiny pizzeria half the size of your kitchen, but maybe that's why it's better. Too much space, and people start to think they’re more important. They forget they’re just human."

  "Humans make mistakes," I said.

  "And decisions."

  I helped Pappy carry his equipment to the van. He scanned my mansion and lawns. I was jealous of the way he swept over the mansion's facade without a flicker of awe. To Pappy, the large estate was just a big house. It didn't have anything that he needed. That kind of contentment gave him a strength that I wished I had.

  He paused by the driver's side door and looked me right in the eye. "You gonna make the right choice?"

  I opened my mouth to let out my torrent of confusion and conflicts, but the bright, flashing lights of a squad car distracted me. The police officer I had seen helping Kiara before popped out of the car and marched towards the servants' entrance.

  "Can I help you, officer?" I called.

  Pappy patted me on the shoulder, climbed into his van, and started the rattling engine. "We'll see you in Brooklyn."

  "Mr. Brickman," the young officer said. "We're here because one of your guests claims there was an attempted robbery."

  I steered him back towards his squad car. "It was all a big misunderstanding. Mixing wine, jealousy, and a bracelet with a broken clasp is never a good idea. We've worked it all out."

  He pulled back and glanced towards the door. "Ms. Barnes was adamant that someone come out to discuss pressing charges."

  "Kiara was trying to return the bracelet when the misunderstanding occurred." I crossed my arms and watched the young officer.

  His chin crinkled as he realized the predicament. "Kiara wouldn't steal," he said.

  I loosened my arms and patted him on the back. "Like I said, it was all just a misunderstanding."

  "Is Kiara, I mean, Ms. Davies, here?" His voice took on a hopeful lilt.

  It felt like I had swallowed a live coal. He was a nice man, a public servant, and he clearly adored her. It was impossible not to hate him. I cleared my throat. "No. Kiara had to take her stepsisters home."

  Again, I felt a hard pull towards the little cottage. As the police officer climbed back into his squad car, I let myself take one glance over the lawns to where the light shone from her window.

  There was no decision for me to make; I knew what I wanted. Then I remembered what Pappy had said about people making decisions instead of mistakes.

  I waved to the departing policeman and turned back towards the garden path. Behind me, Vincent Jeffry coughed politely. I saw him holding open the kitchen door with a stern look on his face.

  "Yes?" I snapped.

  "Your father and his colleagues are preparing to depart," he said.

  "Thank God." I crossed my arms and rooted myself to the garden path. "Is there something else?"

  The butler's forehead creased, and his eyes flicked up to the distant cottage light. He balanced on the thin rope between keeping his job and protecting his friend from more drama. My muscles turned to jelly.

  Vincent Jeffry was right. All I had done for Kiara was allow her cottage to be burned to the ground. That had triggered her getting fired from her law school internship and ruining her career. Then, I had hired her as a chef and gotten her entangled in all the drama that came with my group of “friends.”

  "There is, ah, speculation, sir. It may be better if you make another appearance."

  I grumbled, but passed Vincent Jeffry and strode into the kitchen. "Better tell me all the gossip," I said.

  My stoic butler softened for just a moment. "Mr. Dallas has been very attentive to Ms. Barnes. I've heard it said they make an excellent couple."

  "Roger and Whitney?" My smile wouldn't be suppressed. "That might be the best thing I've heard all night."

  Vincent Jeffry frowned. "I believe it is supposed to reflect poorly on you."

  "Getting dumped by Whitney Barnes?" I rubbed my hands together. "It'll be like a feather in my cap."

  "Does your father agree?"

  My jaw gaped open at Vincent Jeffry's inappropriate question. He looked equally horrified at his own overstep, but he couldn't take it back now. Of course, he knew about my father's ultimatum. I wondered how quickly that would spread through the gossip-hungry party guests.

  I waved it away. "How about Cameron Falcon? How'd he come out of these little scenes?"

  "Mr. Falcon is having a lovely time by all accounts. He and his fiancée are enjoying the wine-tasting."

  "Thanks," I said and ducked into the narrow servants' hallway. It popped me out in the dining hall where it was easy to spot Falcon.

  The young man stifled a yawn as his picture-perfect fiancée chattered on with her friends. Falcon was all but ignored, basically an accessory with a good pedigree and an acceptable bank account. He looked miserable.

  I felt bad for him for all of three seconds, and then I remembered what he'd done. Making Madison believe they were in love, possibly, from the rumors I heard, getting her pregnant, and then tossing her away when a better offer came along was despicable.

  With that in mind, I marched up and flashed him my charming host smile. "Enjoying yourself?"

  His fiancée spoke for him, but I didn't hear a word she said. Falcon was looking at me like a man in open water might stare at a buoy. I was happy to oblige.

  "Would you mind if I borrowed your fiancé for a moment?" I asked her. "I could use a fresh opinion on an old vintage."

  She gave him up reluctantly, but then turned to her friends with a glow of ownership. "Cameron does have a good palate."

  I steered the young man over to a quiet corner. He grinned at me and said, "Thanks, Mr. Brickman."

  "Please," I said, "call me Teddy. We can't be too formal when you tell me what the hell you think you're doing."

  Falcon's eyes rounded. "You mean getting engaged? My parents arranged it; I had nothing to do with it. Are you interested in her?"

  I smacked him upside the head. "Are you hearing yourself? You're not in love with Ms. Perfect over there; you're just doing what your parents told you to do. Is that really the kind of man you want to be?"

  "You wouldn't understand," he said.

  I fought the urge to smack him again and instead, wound his shirt front into my fist, pulling him closer. "No, I can't understand. Why would you make Madison fall in love with you if you were already tied into an arranged marriage?"

  Falcon tried to reclaim his shirt, but my grip was too tight. "It's not an arranged marriage. That's just how it's done."

  I gave him a shake. "Do you even have a spine? Tell me right now that you don't love Madison. Tell me."

  Falcon gulped. "She's crazy. You saw her. She made the biggest scene."

  "Love makes you do crazy things. Especially when there's a baby involved."

  The young man went limp, and I struggled to hold him up as he slumped against the wall. "She's pregnant? She didn't tell me. Maddy's having my baby?"

  The ridiculous smile that spread over his face finally loosened my grip. "You didn't know?"

  His face crumpled as his fiancée waved at him from across the room. "I wish I didn't know. It doesn't change anything. My family expects me to marry someone from our social circle. You understand."

  I wished I didn't. As much as I wanted to pummel the heartless weakling, I knew it was useless. I was only mad at myself. The only reason I was attacking Falcon is that we both faced the same ultimatum. The only difference was Falcon knew Madison loved him. He had somewhere to go if he left his rich, comfortable world. All I had were more question marks.

  Vincent Jeffry brought us both a glass of wine. "Perhaps you would like to say goodbye to your guests from the foyer, sir?" he asked me.

  "Excellent idea. Thank you. I'll be along in a moment," I said.

  Falcon gulped hi
s wine and gave me a goofy smile. "You throw awesome parties."

  I looked around the dining hall and marveled at all the happy guests. Somehow, the majority of people were able to skim along the surface, enjoying the perfect look of everything, but everywhere I looked were cold, empty rooms and cold, shallow people.

  "You had a good time?" I asked Falcon.

  He smirked. "Yeah, it was a little dramatic, but that just means people will talk about me. You know how important an interesting reputation is."

  "Good for you, but what about Madison?" I put down my wine glass before I cracked it.

  "She's having my baby," Falcon said with another dreamy smile. "I hope it has her big, blue eyes. I love her eyes."

  I pounced. "You love her, don't you, you weak, little shit?"

  His eyes widened. "So what? I can have a mistress. I know it's a little old-fashioned, but I don't see why not."

  I grabbed his shirt with two hands and pushed him up hard against the wall. His toes scrabbled to reach the floor as his hands flailed at my grip.

  "Do you even know what love is, you smug, spoiled son of a bitch?" I asked.

  The remaining guests turned to watch, and I knew I was making a scene. Falcon flailed around above me and choked out an answer. "That's not how the world works, is it?"

  I let him down and smoothed the wrinkles in his shirt. "Maybe it's better this way. A father is supposed to teach his child how the world works, but you'll only warp that little baby into being a spineless, spoiled brat, just like you."

  "So she's having the baby?" Falcon was surprised.

  I was going to walk away, but his casual question made me swing back. "It's more than a new handbag. She's having your baby, so no matter what you are, you're going to be a father."

  "Crazy," he said.

  He started to walk away, but I slammed him back against the wall with one hand. "Think about that for a minute, Falcon."

  Now I knew why Madison had made such a scene. Cameron Falcon was the product of years and years of privileged living. He was one of the party guests that could just skim along the surface and be happy that he never had to touch the real world. I knew he loved Madison—I had seen it in his face—but he was too immature to do anything about it.