Burning Wild

by Christine Feehan

  Jake pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and went to her room, padding on bare feet down the hall, careful to maintain silence, not wanting to alert her to his presence. Her door was ajar and he slipped inside. He knew instantly the room was empty. The faint scent of her lingered behind, but there was only silence and the white sheet of paper in the center of her still-made bed. He picked it up, eyes scanning it briefly, feeling the blow like a punch to his gut.

  Damn her. She wasn't leaving the ranch. Not tonight. Not when she was upset with him and he hadn't had a chance to make his case. He was a businessman. He'd been in a thousand boardrooms. He could close a deal, but not if she got off the ranch. He picked up the phone, his jaw set, his expression savage.

  EMMA stuck her head out the window and forced a smile at Jerico. "Open the gates."

  To her astonishment, Jerico shook his head, a small grimace on his face. "I can't do that, Emma. Where would you be going this time of night?"

  She scowled at him. "It isn't your business."

  "I'm responsible," Jerico said. "I don't want to lose my job."

  Emma let her breath out slowly, forcing her temper under control. It wasn't Jerico's fault. He had to follow rules just like everyone. "I'm going for a drive." It wasn't his fault that she was so upset. It was her own fault. Hers. She loathed herself, but she managed a small smile, hoping to charm him. "Please open the gate."

  "I can't do that. I'm sorry. The boss said not to let you leave."

  Emma's eyebrow went up. "Contrary to popular belief, Jerico, I don't work for Jake. He can't boss me around. Open the gate."

  Jerico shook his head, although he did look remorseful. "You don't even have a bodyguard with you. He said you weren't to leave under any circumstances unless he specifically okayed it. If you're having trouble with the boss . . ."

  Emma slid out of the Jeep and slammed the door. "Jake actually ordered you to keep me here, on the ranch? Like a prisoner? Open the gate now, Jerico. I want to leave. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a grown woman, not a child."

  "Emma . . ."

  "Is there a problem, Emma?" Drake came up behind her in his silent way.

  Emma whirled to face him, caught in the headlights of her vehicle. His gaze dwelled on the marks on her neck--bright red and obvious--the bite mark on her shoulder. He inhaled and stiffened, his gaze shifting to Jerico and then looking warily around him. He even stepped back a few paces, putting distance between them as his sharp gaze studied the obvious signs of possession. He took another wary look around, scanning the night for something dangerous.

  Emma felt herself blushing, but she stuck her chin in the air. "Jerico won't open the gates and I want to go for a drive." There was demand in her voice.

  "You don't want Jerico to lose his job, Emma. If the boss says no, what's the big deal? You have over a thousand square miles to drive on. Stay on the ranch."

  Emma's hands closed into two tight fists. "I have the right to leave whenever I want to leave, Drake. I'm not arguing with you about this. Open the gate." She didn't want to be near anything Jake owned.

  He shook his head, very calm. "Take it up with Jake, Emma. You and I both know how protective he can be. He's worried something may happen to you--"

  "He's a control freak," she snapped, interrupting him. "And he's not controlling me."

  She heard the truck but there were no lights as Jake drove up. Her heart began to pound and she tasted fear in her throat. He unhurriedly stepped out of the truck and tossed the keys to Drake before closing the door with a certain firmness that made her mouth go dry. She tried not to be intimidated by the width of his shoulders, the confident, fluid way he walked, or the roped muscles playing under his shirt with suggestive power. Was she afraid of him after all?

  Her body betrayed her, going liquid, hot, melting, telling her she was more afraid of her own reactions than his. She had no will around him. No backbone. She hated that she wanted to wipe the pain from his eyes, the scars from his soul. She hated that she wanted him with every cell in her body. She couldn't put herself into the hands of a man capable of the kind of cruelty she knew Jake was capable of. He destroyed his enemies. She'd heard of his ruthless business tactics. He used and threw away women. He trusted no one. How could she ever respect herself again if she gave in to him?

  "I'll take it from here. Thanks, Jerico, Drake," Jake said, his voice calm as he approached Emma with his long, confident strides. Everything about him was self-assured. He moved into her space as if he belonged there, moved close until she was under his shoulder and one hand casually rested on the small of her back.

  Emma wanted to pull away, but there was something so compelling and assured about Jake, she found it impossible to move.

  He bent his head to hers. "Come on, honey, I'll take you home." His hand pressed into the small of her back, down low, his fingers brushing her butt as if he had every right, guiding her around the hood of the Jeep to the passenger side. He gently handed her in and waited in silence until she'd snapped her seat belt in place.

  Jake slid behind the wheel, lifted his hand in recognition to the two men and turned the Jeep around.

  "I don't want to go back," Emma said in a low, mutinous tone. She glanced at his set jaw and then looked down at her hands. "I need time to think. You're everywhere in that house." His personality was too powerful, too overwhelming and dominating. She had decisions to make and she needed a clear head to make them.

  He abruptly turned the wheel, spinning the Jeep in another direction, taking them away from the main ranch house and deeper into the property. "I know you're frightened of everything changing, Emma, but it isn't going to be changing that much."

  "I couldn't get out through the gates, Jake. I'd say that things are already changing a lot."

  His gaze swept over her, taking in the defiant set to her chin and her trembling mouth. "You shouldn't have been able to get through the gates without my knowing before, Emma. That was a mistake on Jerico's and Drake's part. They know better now. I have enemies and I'll be damned if something happens to you because of their carelessness."

  She swept her hair up and started to clip it, more from nerves and the need to do something with her hands than anything else.

  "Leave it down."

  Her eyes widened. "See. Right there. You're already telling me what to do. I can't have you ordering me around all the time, controlling my every move. I can't breathe right now, Jake. I need space. I need to know what's happening to me. You just take people over. I've seen you do it, and now you're doing it with me. You humiliated me. Deliberately humiliated me." There was a catch in her voice and she turned her face away from him to stare out the window into the darkness.

  "How? Why would I want to humiliate you?"

  Emma glanced at him again, trying not to hear that hypnotic note in his voice that always had such an effect on her. "You know very well how. You could have come in my mouth." She blushed when she said it, avoiding his eyes, but he heard the hurt in her voice as if he'd rejected her. "Instead you came all over me. That was not making love. That was not respect. That was like some porn film and I was the receptacle."

  "That was me making love, Emma. That was me showing more than respect. That was me claiming you for my own." He slammed on the brakes and brought the Jeep skidding to a halt. "Did you think you weren't pleasing me somehow? Fuck, Emma. I've never had a night like tonight in my life. I've never felt that way with anyone. Not anyone. I don't tell you lies."

  She didn't know what to say to that, so she remained silent, hugging herself, rocking a little, trying not to feel so inexperienced and awkward. Something had possessed her when she'd been with Jake. She hadn't known how to do all those things. He'd taught her in minutes, and she'd wanted to please him so much she'd followed his every instruction.

  "I know that with you I'm a demanding lover. I'd like to say it won't happen again, but it will. I'm primal, I have certain needs, and sex is intense with you. That's such an insipid word for wha
t sex is with you."

  The way he said it, with such stark honesty, would have sounded ridiculous with anyone else, but he was telling her the truth and she shivered, her body reacting to the sensual undertone.

  "I won't be able to keep my hands off you, and I have every confidence that I can make you want me." He refused to look away from her, refused to let her look away. "I can be rough and animalistic and I know I'll be demanding things from you that may scare you, but, Emma, I would never harm you, or humiliate you or treat you without respect. If there is one person on the face of the earth that I respect above all others, it's you."

  Her heart pounded so hard it hurt. He was no longer discussing what had happened between them; he was talking about a future together. She could see it in the lines of his face, the intensity only Jake had, the iron will and determination that made him relentless. He was in pursuit and she was his prey.

  "I'm not comfortable with the kind of sex we had."

  His hand slid over her hair, sweeping down the heavy, silken fall. "I know you're not, honey, but I also know you enjoyed it. I'll always make certain you'll enjoy it."

  She couldn't deny she'd enjoyed sex with him. Jake made her feel as if he had to have her, that he couldn't wait another moment. He'd given her more pleasure than she'd ever experienced in her life.

  "I don't do one-night stands or flings. Do you have any idea what's going to happen when we break up? We have children. This is my home. It's your home."

  A muscle ticked in his jaw. His eyes went diamond-hard. "I have no intention of allowing us to break up."

  "Women don't keep you satisfied for very long, Jake, and then you move on to the next one. Rough, exciting sex only goes so far, but what happens when the newness wears off and I'm old hat to you? Then what do we do? I'm not the type of woman you're used to. I don't share."

  His hands tightened around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. "Then we find ways to spice things up between us, although I can't imagine we'd ever run into that problem. What the hell do other couples do? I don't want another woman in my life. I don't want you to have another man in yours."

  Emma sighed and looked down at her hands. She still held the hair clip. She hadn't put her hair up. Why? She held the clip up. "Look at this. I did what you told me to do and I don't even know why." But she did, and it scared her. She wanted to please him. She wanted to be the one to take the pain from his eyes.

  "What's wrong with doing something that matters to me when it doesn't matter so much to you?" He took the clip from her hand and tossed it onto the floor.

  "The point is, I seem to lose myself in you and I can't afford to do that. I'll fall in love with you. I already am a little bit." A lot.

  His gaze sharpened, almost as if he could read her mind.

  "And you'll break my heart. You won't want to, you won't set out to do it, but you will."

  He pushed down the satisfaction that welled up inside him. Emma was being brutally honest, putting herself on the line for him. If anyone was really capable of love, it was Emma. "I would never break your heart. I told you, you're safe with me."

  "Not intentionally, but womanizers don't change, Jake," she said quietly, with regret. "You need sex all the time. What happens when you're in your downtown office and I'm on the ranch, or worse, when you're on a business trip?"

  His smile was faint, no amusement, only a show of white teeth. "If I'm in my downtown office and I need you that bad, I'll send a limo for you. If I'm out of town and you can't go, I think I have enough restraint to last a few days. I don't indulge myself over every little thing I want. It's called discipline, and I have more than most people. If I give you my word, Emma, you can take it to the bank and you know that."

  "What happens if I get pregnant and have to go on bed rest again and they tell us we can't have sex? That could happen, you know."

  "Then I'll keep that talented little mouth of yours very busy, won't I?" he retaliated.

  Her blush spread over her entire body. His gaze dropped to her mouth and his thumb slid over her bottom lip, to the corner, stroking caresses that sent little fingers of arousal tingling over her breasts and straight to her groin.

  Emma drew in a ragged breath. "What are we talking about here, Jake? Where do you see this heading?"

  "You. Me. Marriage. I want it all. We can negotiate whatever you want right here and now, and I'm not talking money. I know you don't care one way or the other but there will be no prenuptial because I'll warn you straight up--and hear me when I say this, because this is nonnegotiable. I do not believe in divorce. If you marry me, you'll stay with me. When you don't like something you'll trust me enough to come to me and tell me so I can fix it."

  "Marriage?" The idea of being Jake's wife was terrifying. He was too intense for anyone to handle on a daily basis, yet, of course, it was exactly what she'd dreamt of, the fantasy of it, never the reality. "I couldn't keep up with you and you know it."

  "I know you're afraid."

  "Your parents, the people in your circle, would never accept me . . ."

  "Fuck them. They aren't part of my life. You are. The kids are. Don't let fear stop you from doing something you know is right. I'll make it work, Emma. You know me. I'll help you. Tell me what you want."

  "I don't know." She swept her hand through her hair in agitation. "I want you to care about me. I don't want to be just anyone to you."

  Suddenly the Jeep was too confined. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think clearly. He was doing it again, keeping her off balance, overpowering her, not letting her work things out. She pulled off the seat belt and banged open the door, leaping out of the vehicle and walking out into the night. The cool air helped with the burning heat of her skin.

  Jake slid out, stretching his muscles, his stomach settling a little. She was scared, more scared than he'd ever seen her, but she wasn't running from him. He believed he could make her happy and he was relentless when he wanted something. He wanted Emma more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life. He knew how to negotiate and come out on top; he'd been doing it all of his life. And he knew he was about to close the deal.

  "Emma, you know damn well I care about you. You aren't blind. I've never in my life needed or wanted to mark a woman the way I marked you. I had a primitive urge to get my scent all over you so every man who came near you would know you were taken--that you belong to me. I'm thirty-five years old. I've never wanted to marry until now. I may not be gentle or romantic, but you know you'll have my unswerving loyalty and my absolute protection and care. And along with that, I'll make certain you're satisfied every day of your life."

  He hadn't said love, but then, Jake wouldn't. He wouldn't have believed it of himself and he would have been lying if he'd used the word. He never even said he loved Kyle or Andraya, yet she'd seen evidence of it. Was she strong enough to take him the way he was? She didn't know. If she didn't love him, it wouldn't have been as hard. But she did. She couldn't look at him without wanting him happy. She knew herself, knew she'd give too much. She was an all-or-nothing woman. She loved Jake and she'd give him everything she was.

  "Define loyalty. Does that mean you'll go out, have sex with other women and then always come back to me? Or does that mean a completely monogamous relationship?"

  "I'd use my bare hands to break the neck of any man who dared to touch you, Emma. I don't expect less of myself than I do of you. When I say loyalty, that's complete fidelity. I expect it of you, and if I cheated, I wouldn't be worth keeping, nor would you."

  She took a deep breath. She had the feeling he was more than capable of breaking someone's neck, and that he would if provoked. There was a lot of violence in Jake. She suspected his past was one of abuse, but he'd never told her. She saw his scars. He referred to his parents as his enemies and he was never trusting, not at all.

  "Let's dispense with some of your other concerns, honey. That might help. What are you thinking about right now? There's fear in your eyes."

 
Her gaze shifted from his and then jumped back to his face as if expecting him to be upset with her. "When you loom over me I feel threatened, physically threatened. You can be very frightening, Jake. Yell all you want, but no hitting. Ever."

  He started to agree, then stopped. "We need to talk about this. If I ever hit you or the children in anger, Emma, I want you to take the children and go straight to Drake and Joshua. Tell them what happened and have them help you leave. And don't come back. Don't ever take me back. I want you to promise me you'll do that. Drake and Joshua will have orders to help you. They'll take you somewhere safe where I can't get to you."

  She looked up at him, her gaze searching his. She nodded.

  "But . . ." His smile turned sensual and her gaze turned wary. "There are things we can do in the bedroom that aren't done in anger. Things that can be very erotic."

  She looked outraged and a little curious. "Hitting is not erotic under any circumstances."

  "No, but a spanking can be. And there are other things. I don't want us to rule them out until you try them with me. If you don't like something, we won't do it again, but there will be no lying to me or to you. If you're finding pleasure but you're scared, we'll be continuing. When you tell me no, you make damn sure that hot little body of yours isn't wet."

  "That's not fair, Jake," Emma protested. "You always make me wet, even when you terrify me." Like now. The words were unspoken but she blushed a dark crimson, afraid she might have said them aloud.

  He framed her face with his hands and kissed her again, teasing at her reluctant mouth with tugging teeth and a dancing tongue until she opened for him. He was a phenomenal kisser, and she lost herself in him, giving herself up completely. He lifted his face first and traced her cheekbones with the pads of his fingertips.

  "I like you wet for me. Don't ever be embarrassed because you want me." His hand dropped casually to the thick erection bulging in the front of his jeans. "I have the hard-on from hell and I'm not embarrassed. Isn't it better that you're a little in lust with the man you're going to marry?"