I’ll be stalking you, Cowboy, so brace yourself!
I love you, Sean. Don’t you ever doubt that.
Alyssa
He folded the piece of paper and brought it to his face. He could swear it smelled of her sweet perfume. He inhaled deeply, feeling like a drug addict in need of a fix, only his fix was her; it was her perfume, the sound of her laughter, the sparkle in her eyes, the silkiness of her skin.
She hadn’t dumped him; that was good. Although he didn’t believe in fairytales, he wanted to believe that maybe, in some sort of miracle, things would actually work between them. She’d written that she wanted to try; what did he have to lose now, anyway?
There was no way he was going to be able to get over her, not unless he was 100 percent sure there was no way they could be a couple. Until then, he’d rack his brains and play every possible scenario in his mind until he found the perfect plan, the ultimate scheme that would give them their happily ever after.
Chapter Thirty-three
The flight seemed longer than it had been only three weeks ago. At least traveling first-class had its perks, when you didn’t have to be seated next to crying kids or chatty old women. She was sure she wouldn’t have been able to tolerate any of that in the mood she was in.
The plane wasn’t full, so the seat next to her was empty and she thanked the Heavens for that. Right now all she wanted was to close her eyes and never wake up again.
Leaving Sean without saying goodbye had been the toughest thing she’d ever had to do, but she’d thought it would be for the best. After last night, if she’d seen him this morning she would’ve never been able to leave.
She hoped Tammy would give him her message, and that he wouldn’t be mad at her. Once he went back to his room, he’d find her letter and hopefully he’d forgive her.
Saying goodbye to Tammy had been tough, too. Alyssa had known all along leaving Sean would break her heart, but she hadn’t accounted for the pang of sadness that had hit her straight in the gut when she was standing on the porch next to Tammy while Aaron was loading her suitcase into the trunk. When Alyssa had given her the Prada bag that had caused the major upheaval that first day, Tammy’s eyes had gone wide and quickly filled with tears. Alyssa knew nobody would appreciate that bag half as much as Tammy. Sean would probably roll his eyes once he found out, but she didn’t care. Alyssa had come to love Tammy as if she were her sister, and seeing her happy had wiped away a little of the pain that had captured her heart in a vice-like grip since she’d woken up in the morning.
If eventually things between her and Sean ended with broken hearts, Alyssa knew she’d want to keep in touch with Tammy anyway.
During the stopover in Atlanta she pulled out her vampire book. She hadn’t had time to read since the day Sean had turned into a much nicer person to be around, and she’d spent her time following him around. She smiled, thinking how awful the first days had seemed when he was all grumpy and moody, and she’d been afraid to be anywhere near him. She couldn’t bear to be away from him now; thinking tomorrow morning she’d wake up in her bed, in her decadent Manhattan apartment and everything would feel like a nice dream fading away in the sunlight, crushed her heart.
It was ten past thirty by the time she stepped through the door of her dark apartment. She’d always been happy to live on her own away from her mother and from her expectations, in a place where she could be who she wanted. When she’d come home from college and found out she’d inherited her grandmother’s apartment in Manhattan she’d been happy to finally have a place she could decorate the way she wanted and call her own. As she switched the lights on and scanned her stylish and beautifully-furnished apartment though, she realized it didn’t feel homey, not like the Maclaines’. Everything was in place, the room was tidy and neat, just the way she’d always liked it. It was one of those houses that would make the perfect feature in an architectural magazine but now that she was staring at the bare room with new eyes, it just looked like an empty shell.
What had once been her sanctuary, the place where she’d seek refuge when her life got too much to bear, now felt like an empty, shallow cage. She let out a sigh, dropped her suitcase and, with her back against the door, she slid down to the floor, letting the tears she’d kept fighting back since the morning flow freely.
Forty minutes later, freshly showered and ready to crash, she walked into her bedroom and finally switched her phone on; no reason to delay the inevitable. Just like she expected, she found lots of text and voicemail messages, mostly from her mother and Julian. There were a couple of messages from her father, which were the only ones she listened to. His serious and professional tone sounded worried while he asked her to call him and let him know she was okay.
She felt slightly guilty and immediately dialed his number; she was surprised he hadn’t organized a search party to bring her home.
“Alyssa? Where on earth have you been? We’ve been out of our minds with fear when you didn’t return any of our calls.”
Alyssa plopped onto her bed, still in her robe, and counted to ten before she replied. She needed to be calm and in control. She couldn’t let anything slip, and she definitely didn’t feel like having an argument with her father or, Heaven forbid, with her mother right now.
“I told Mom there’d be no reception where I was; I called the night I arrived to let her know my phone would be switched off at all times. I’m sorry you were worried.” No she wasn’t, but she needed to get this conversation over with as soon as possible. “Anyway, I’m home now. I’ll probably see you tomorrow. If you have time for a quick lunch together, we could meet downtown and grab a bite?”
“Why don’t you come over for dinner, instead? We could order something from that Italian restaurant you love and have a meal together. I’m sure your mother would like to hear about your holiday, too.”
Ah, I don’t think so, Daddy. The last thing she wanted was to spend an evening in the lion’s den and give her mother the opportunity to chew her to bits. No, thank you.
“I . . . I’ll see how things go tomorrow and I’ll let you know if I can make it,” she lied, staring at the intricate cornices on the ceiling. She’d always loved that feature in her grandmother’s apartment, and it was the only thing she’d asked the renovators not to remove when they’d torn the apartment to pieces. “I might end up being a little tired. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
They said goodbye and a moment after she hung up the phone rang again, making her jump on the bed. She looked at the number and didn’t recognize the area code; could she dare to hope . . .?
“Hello?” she said in a wary tone. She didn’t want to build up her hopes in case some stranger from another state had dialed the wrong number. She could hear someone breathing on the other end of the line, but there was no reply.
“Is anyone there? Who’s this?” she asked, starting to worry.
A low, deep chuckle made her insides twist in intricate knots. “Hey, City Girl. I’m quite hurt that you didn’t save my number in your phone.”
“Sean.” His name left her mouth in a whoosh as tears filled her eyes. After crying for almost half an hour, she would’ve thought there were no more tears left, but apparently a broken heart provided a constant source of salty water to a body. “You found my letter.”
“I did. I kinda hated you all day until I went back into my room to get changed and found your note on the floor. I’d thought you’d changed your mind and left me hanging there like an idiot.”
Alyssa chuckled. “Must’ve stung your ego pretty bad, hey, Cowboy?”
“Nope. It actually broke my heart.”
The sad tone in his voice made Alyssa’s heart break a little more. Hurting him was the last thing she’d meant to do when she’d decided to leave without saying goodbye.
“Sean . . . I . . .”
“Yeah, I know; it’s all in the letter, I understand. You were probably right; I wouldn’t have been able to let you go or say goodbye with a handshake in front of my family
. It’s just that . . . well . . .” He cleared his throat and Alyssa imagined him scratching his cheek the way he did when he was nervous. “I know it’s not very manly to admit it, but I kinda miss you already.”
Alyssa’s heart swelled as her lips curled up in a smile. “I love this mushy side of you, Cowboy. And I miss you too. I wish you were here with me.”
“Are you at home?”
Alyssa nodded with her eyes closed, then remembered he couldn’t see her. “I’m on my bed, in my robe, wondering whether I should sleep or get up and heat a frozen pizza.”
“Don’t say that,” he groaned. Alyssa frowned; he didn’t like pizza?
“What?”
“Now I have this image of you on your bed in your robe, and I’m two thousand miles away, heartbroken and lonely. I’m gonna have to take a cold shower.”
Alyssa let out a loud laugh. It was kind of funny to know she had that effect on him; although, if she had to be honest, she wouldn’t mind having him right next to her now, his arms wrapped around her.
“Listen, I’ll install Skype later on tonight. Do you have a webcam?”
“Why, do you?” she asked, skeptically. Sean laughed.
“Yeah, even though I live in the middle of nowhere, I happen to have access to technology, ya know?”
“Well, that’s good then. I can’t wait to see your handsome face again, Cowboy.”
She didn’t bother hiding her feelings or sugar-coating her words. There was no point in playing pretend; she loved him and missed him already. And he was the most handsome man she’d ever come across—and she’d seen quite a few good-looking men.
“And I can’t wait to see you in your silky robe, City Girl,” he said in a low growling tone.
“Who said it’s silky? Maybe it’s all lacy and see-through . . .” she teased, putting on the sexiest voice she’d ever used. He let out a desperate groan.
“Damn, girl, ya killin’ me here.”
She giggled and wrapped the belt of her robe around her finger. “Okay, I’ll put you out of your misery. It’s actually a fluffy, towel robe; I doubt you’d want to see me in that. I could always go shopping tomorrow, though.”
Sean laughed and the sound made her stomach quiver. They hadn’t been apart twenty-four hours yet, and already she felt as if someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. She felt empty and lonely without him. How long would she be able to cope?
“Let me be the judge of that. If I remember well, you looked quite amazing in a baggy tracksuit top—I’m sure you look even hotter in a towel robe.”
Alyssa’s cheeks burned. The last thing she felt now was hot, but she enjoyed the compliment since it came from him.
“I . . . um . . . I think I’d better go. I still have to heat my pizza and I’m actually starving right now.”
“Great; dumped because of a pizza. Makes me feel real important.” He let out an exaggerated sigh and Alyssa giggled. “I’ll let you go, but only because I don’t want to feel guilty for starving you. Will I see ya tomorrow, then?”
Even though she knew he meant he’d see her on Skype, the words caused her goose bumps. Wouldn’t it be great if he showed up at her door, a red rose in his hand and a gorgeous smile on his face, saying “surprise”? She shook her head; she should stop watching chick-flicks.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Cowboy. Say, around nine your time? That should give you enough time to have dinner and lock yourself up in your bedroom without arousing suspicions.”
“Mmm . . . All this secret dating is quite exciting, ya know?” he said hoarsely. Alyssa laughed. He was right, though: it really was. “Then nine it is. Make sure you wear your towel robe, okay?”
“Shut up,” she said, giggling; then she turned serious. “I love you, Sean.”
“Love you, too, City Girl.”
After they hung up, she tossed her phone on the mattress and hugged the pillow, soaking it in tears until her stomach growled in anger some twenty minutes later and she finally made it to the kitchen.
Chapter Thirty-four
October
It had been barely two weeks since Alyssa had gone back to New York, and Tammy had noticed that during the last few days Sean hadn’t been himself. She had caught him a couple of times lying on his bed soon after dinner staring at the ceiling, lost in thought, and this was totally unlike him.
He had even started disappearing in the middle of the day, and when their mother asked him where he had been he would tell her he had gone to the cabin to relax for a while.
She knew exactly what was wrong with him: he was in love, and the object of his affection was miles away and would probably never come back.
He obviously didn’t know she’d seen them hugging and kissing the night before Alyssa had left and, although she was dying to let him know how happy she was, she knew it was best not to tell him if she didn’t want him to shut up like a clam.
But it hurt her to see him like that.
Before Alyssa came into their lives he had seemed happy enough to live there and work on their family business, but after Alyssa was gone, it seemed as if nothing really mattered to him anymore. He worked because he had to, but he seemed to have lost the enthusiasm he used to put into his daily activities, as if Alyssa had taken all of his happiness away with her.
She had to do something to help her brother. She started thinking of how to bring back the sunshine into his life and, after realizing that the only way to make Sean happy was most probably bringing Alyssa back, she started planning how she was going to make it happen.
She locked herself up in her room and, while her mother thought she was busy doing her homework, she spent the afternoon writing down on a notepad any possible options that came to her mind.
It took her a couple of hours to find the perfect plan. Her sixteenth birthday was only a few weeks away and a crazy idea hit the back of her mind, making her jump with joy on her chair.
She sprang up and made for the door, stopping by the mirror to compliment her reflection for coming up with such a smart idea. Then she pulled herself together, took a deep breath and went out of her room, pretending she was calm and totally in control.
***
Her mother was busy in the kitchen making dinner, and didn’t turn away from the stove when she walked in. When Tammy stopped by her she flinched and dropped the wooden spoon into the pot.
“Tammy! You scared me! I didn’t hear you come in.”
Tammy giggled and looked inside the pot inhaling the delicious smell of her mother’s stew. Her mouth watered.
“Can I do something to help?” she asked nonchalantly and her mother stopped stirring and turned to look at her with narrowed eyes.
“What are you up to, Tammy? I know you are going to ask me something, since you’re offering to help me make dinner.”
She giggled again and opened the cupboard, taking out a tin jar and grabbing a couple of cookies. After she put the jar back into the cupboard, she sat on the table and took a deep breath before she spoke again.
“I was thinking . . . you know it’s gonna be my sixteenth birthday soon, right?”
Her mother nodded and kept her gaze fixed on Tammy, her fists resting on her hips, exactly like she always did when she knew she was going to say no to whatever her daughter would come up with— something that seemed to happen a bit too often lately.
“Well, I was thinking that . . . you know, since I’ve been getting pretty good grades at school lately and there’s a long Halloween weekend this year . . . Well, I thought that maybe I could . . . I mean, you would let me . . .”
“Tammy, cut it short, please. Just say what you want,” her mother huffed, and Tammy let it all out in one breath.
“May I go to New York for my birthday? Alyssa told me that if I ever went to New York I could stay with her, so I wouldn’t have to pay for a hotel. Please, Mommy, please, I promise I won’t ask for a Christmas present and I’ll do my homework every day without arguing. I’ll do the dishes for a month i
f you let me go and I’ll clean my bedroom and . . .”
“Forget it,” her mother said, just like she had expected her to and, although she was a little disappointed, she was ready to use the ace she’d kept up her sleeve, hoping that her mother wouldn’t object to this.
She obviously couldn’t tell her the real reason why she wanted to go to New York, and it was clear that her mother thought it was simply another of her silly ideas about moving to the city to work in the fashion industry. She would have to do better than that; she would have to somehow convince her mother that this time it was really important.
“If Sean went with me would you let me go, Mommy? I swear if you let me go just this one time, I’ll never talk about fashion again. You have my word, cross on my heart. Puh-leeaase!”
Her mother chuckled. Tammy was sure that saying she’d stop all her babbling about fashion would make her mother understand this was more important to her than anything else she had ever asked for in the past. Besides, if Alyssa was going to offer hospitality, they should be able to afford the trip, and with Sean taking care of her she wouldn’t really need to worry about anything happening to her.
Tammy looked expectantly at her mother, nervously nibbling the cookie. After what seemed like hours, her mother hung her head and looked at her with narrowed eyes.
“You’ve promised a lot of things in the last few minutes, and you’ll be in trouble if you don’t keep any of the promises. I’m putting my trust in you, now; I’ll expect you not to disappoint me, or I will never trust you again. Ever. And you’ll be grounded for the rest of your life. And I mean it, Tammy.”
Tammy jumped off the table and hugged her mother, thanking her a million times before she pushed her away, laughing.
“Go ask Sean, now; I’ll see what I can do with your father. I guess he won’t be too happy about this but we’ll work it out.”
Tammy barely waited for her to finish the sentence before she sprinted away with a big smile on her face, knowing she was just about to make Sean very, very happy.
Hold on to Love Page 22