***
Sean was in the barn, already arranging the hay for the following day, hoping this would buy him some time to sleep tomorrow. He’d been feeling constantly worn-out over the past couple of weeks, and he was quite sure it had all started after Alyssa had left.
He felt as if all he was doing were meaningless; he’d always loved his life, his job, his town, his house, but ever since Alyssa had left it was as if she had taken away a piece of his heart with her, and his life had suddenly felt empty.
He loved having her around, offering help because she wanted to learn everything about country life. He could still hear her laughter when she had tried to milk a cow for the first time and she had sprayed her face and clothes with milk; he could still see her crying like a baby when the calf was born. There were so many little things he loved about her, and now that she was gone he missed them all.
Leaves had started falling and the fields and woods were an amazing sight. He wished Alyssa could see it all: he was sure she would love it.
He felt short of breath when he thought of her. He couldn’t picture his life without her, and that was how he was sure she was the one, the love of his life. He had known it that day in the barn when he had woken up and had seen her sleeping peacefully on a haystack, and he knew it for sure now.
Whenever he felt blue he went back to the cabin, and he would lie on the floor by the fireplace in the same spot where they had lain that afternoon. He would close his eyes and remember how good it had felt wrapping his arms around her, feeling her cuddle up close, and he wished he would wake up and find her there, right beside him, smiling at him like she had that day.
Even though they chatted every night through Skype, he couldn’t help wondering if they’d ever make it through this, and he still found himself dreading that she might move on and find someone else.
His reveries were brusquely interrupted when Tammy stormed in, and he juggled the fork in his hands before it fell to the floor. He turned back to look at her with raised eyebrows.
“Tammy, what the hell?”
“Sean, I need a big favor, and if you say yes I promise I’ll be the happiest and most grateful sister ever,” she said, her hands joined together in front of her face.
“I’m not gonna cover for you with Mom and Dad in case you want to ditch school or go to a party. You can forget it.”
“I wasn’t going to ask that.” She blew a raspberry through her lips and slumped down on the hay. “It’s something really important and Mom said I can go, but only if you go with me.”
He crouched down next to her, and looked at her quizzically.
“Go where?” he asked suspiciously. This didn’t sound good.
“It’s for my birthday. You know there’s a long Halloween weekend, so I won’t miss school days, and I was thinking that, well, since we have three days off, we could go to New York and meet up with Alyssa. She said I could stay at her place, so we’d only have to buy a ticket. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you were around, too.”
He almost lost balance at the sound of her name, and sat on the hay. He noticed the corners of her lips twitch, but he hoped it was only because of his clumsiness. Surely she couldn’t suspect anything, could she? But even if she didn’t, he couldn’t admit straight out that this was the most amazing idea she’d ever come up with and that he’d drive her there himself if that provided an excuse for him to be anywhere within an arm’s reach of Alyssa.
He put on his best poker face and cleared his throat, shaking his head almost imperceptibly.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Tammy. She was only being polite when she invited you over because she was sure you’d never go. Besides, we can’t really call her and say we’re going to sleep in her house; it would be rude.”
“No, it wouldn’t. And if she doesn’t want us to stay in her house, she could recommend a cheap hotel. Please, Sean, it’d be the best birthday present ever. Puh-leeasee.”
He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling; he knew that even if he spent the next three hours telling Tammy he wouldn’t go she wouldn’t leave him alone until he’d said yes. He only had to play hard-to-get for a few more minutes, pretend he’d be doing it for her because he was an awesome brother, and everything would work out to perfection.
“Well, I don’t know. Maybe you should ask her first, see if she’d be okay. You have her number, right? Call her tomorrow and if she says yes, I’ll think about it.” He shrugged and stood up, picking up his fork from the floor. “I can’t promise anything right now, though.”
Tammy stood up and threw her arms around him. She hugged him and thanked him while Sean was thanking her in his mind.
Chapter Thirty-five
Alyssa had been pacing up and down La Guardia airport for the last hour. Their flight wasn’t due for landing until nine thirty, but she’d had an early dinner and headed straight for the airport afterwards. She knew it was unlikely their plane would land an hour early, but she wanted to be there when they walked through the sliding door of arrivals.
She couldn’t stop thinking about the phone call she’d received from Tammy two weeks before. Alyssa had been happily surprised when Tammy had said she’d come visit—she’d been really looking forward to seeing Tammy again. She had missed Tammy’s bubbly personality and the fun they had together. Even though she was only fifteen, now turning sixteen, Alyssa loved chatting with her.
It was when Tammy had said Sean would be going with her that Alyssa had all but choked on her coffee; good thing she was having lunch alone that day, or her colleague’s expensive suit would’ve ended up soaked. She’d tried to hide her excitement behind a “oh, that’s nice,” comment, but as soon as she’d hung up, a grin had split her face in two and happy tears had filled her eyes.
She’d been walking on air for the past two weeks, and when she’d woken up that morning and realized that in a little over twelve hours she’d be seeing Sean again, her heart had started doing a wild dance routine inside her chest, and was still doing it now.
She’d had a silly smile plastered on her face all day; her colleagues had noticed and questioned her, but she’d simply shrugged, saying she was in a good mood because it was Halloween. She’d never really cared about Halloween before and neither did she now, but she reckoned it would be a good excuse that wouldn’t lead to any more questioning.
The sliding doors opened and closed a few times with lots of people coming out, dragging trolleys and big suitcases, or smaller duffel bags and messenger bags, but no sign of the Maclaines.
By nine thirty-five she was a bundle of nerves; by nine forty-five she’d almost lost hope. When the doors opened at nine fifty and she scanned the crowd of people walking out, her heart skipped a beat, or maybe two—or a million.
He wasn’t in his usual cowboy attire, but she wouldn’t fail to recognize him in a crowd. In a black lightly-padded jacket and a woolen cap, he looked just as handsome as he had in a checkered shirt and a cowboy hat. Tammy was all bundled up in a colorful woolen beret and matching scarf, with a nice dark-pink coat that made her stand out from the crowd of blacks and grays.
Alyssa smiled broadly when her stare met Sean’s. The light worry frown on his face eased and turned into a beautiful smile, the smile she’d been dreaming of every single night since she’d left Wind Creek.
As soon as Tammy saw her, she dropped her trolley and ran to her side. Sean shook his head and picked it up, following her at a slower pace. When they hugged, Alyssa realized how much she’d truly missed Tammy; she was over the moon because Sean was here, but it wouldn’t be the same without Tammy. She was sure they were going to have a blast together.
“Welcome to New York,” Alyssa said, almost breathless as Tammy squeezed her in a deathly hug. “Hey, I love your coat. It’s so you.”
Tammy laughed and pulled back. “I know, right? It was so cold when we left Wind Creek this morning I thought I should’ve taken my parka instead. But this perfectly matches my Prada bag
,” she said, showing her the bag that had started the war between Alyssa and Sean.
“She doesn’t go anywhere without the damn bag.” Sean stepped right behind Tammy and Alyssa’s heart got caught in a whirl, almost clogging her throat.
Tammy rolled her eyes and punched her brother, saying something Alyssa didn’t quite catch. All of a sudden the whole airport disappeared; the crowd of people passing by them were nothing but dark shadows, their voices nothing but distant sounds blowing in the wind. She was caught in a bubble where only she and Sean existed. His eyes bore into hers and told her without words how much he’d missed her, how happy he was to see her again, and how much he wanted to kiss her. It was exactly the same way she was feeling.
“Hi, um . . . welcome to New York,” she said when she realized they were both waiting for her to say something. Her voice trembled a little and she swallowed hard.
She’d talked about it with Sean the night before, and they’d both agreed they’d have to play it cool in front of Tammy. He’d promised he’d steal a kiss whenever his sister wasn’t looking, but when she was around they’d have to keep up the act. She’d agreed, of course, but she hadn’t thought it would be so hard.
They’d spent the last two weeks chatting every night on Skype, acting as if there weren’t two thousand miles between them. They laughed, joked and told each other how much they loved the other. Acting like strangers when all she wanted to do was get lost in his arms was going to be the toughest challenge she’d ever faced.
Tammy giggled, and nudged her with her elbow. “I think you should give him a big, welcoming hug.”
Alyssa’s face flushed red-hot, and Tammy giggled harder. If Sean so much as brushed her hand, she’d probably melt in a puddle on the floor—hugging wasn’t a good idea.
“There’s no need to keep pretending. I know you two have something going on; I saw you kissing the night before you left Wind Creek.”
Both Alyssa and Sean whipped their heads toward Tammy, and stared at her wide-eyed. She shrugged.
“Why do you think I organized this whole trip? Sean’s been grumpy ever since you left; I needed my brother back, so I thought a weekend with you would give him some peace of mind. It doesn’t hurt that I was dying to see New York.”
Alyssa laughed, a genuine laugh that made her heart feel lighter. They’d underestimated Tammy’s eagle eye and smart brains.
“You’ve got some explaining to do here, young lady,” Sean said with a scowl, his fists on his hips.
“A simple ‘thank you, Tammy’ would’ve been enough,” she said with a shrug. Sean’s big brother attitude softened, and Alyssa saw he was fighting a smile. “How about I go buy candies in that shop over there, while you two . . . um . . . get reacquainted?”
Sean glared at her and she gave him a cheeky smile in return, then turned on her heels and quickly walked away. As soon as she was out of earshot, Alyssa looked at him and got lost in his eyes.
“I guess our plan of playing cool has just failed,” Sean said, taking a step closer to her and reaching for her hands.
When their fingers interlocked, he pulled her close to him and her body tingled all over from the familiar heat.
“I think I should be mad at her for lying to our parents and setting up this whole masquerade, but somehow I can’t bring myself to.”
“We should be grateful to her, not mad,” Alyssa said in a soft tone. Sean nodded, and brought their joined hands up to his mouth, kissing her knuckles.
“Do you think it would be okay if I kissed you right here, with all these people walking past us?” he asked, his warm breath on her hands giving her goose bumps.
“What people?” she asked with a half-smile. “I don’t see anyone but you right now.”
His face lit up, and a second later his lips were on hers, rough and warm, just the way she remembered them.
It felt as if time hadn’t passed, as if she’d only just walked out of the barn in the middle of the night, hugging and kissing him and laughing at something silly he’d just said. It was as if they’d never been apart, as if time had stopped the moment she’d closed the door of the Pine room, dragging her suitcase behind her with a heavy heart. That must be what loving someone meant.
Tammy cleared her throat a few feet away from them, and Sean immediately pulled back. Alyssa had never seen him look so embarrassed and out of his element before; he was actually kind of cute, in a way.
“I know you could probably spend hours acting like two lovebirds, but it’s been a long day and I’d really love to crash now. Can we go?”
Alyssa laughed and nodded, wrapping her arm around Tammy’s shoulder.
“Since your brother isn’t probably going to say it, I’ll do it for both of us. Thank you for organizing this little subterfuge for us. I owe you big time.”
Tammy smiled. “Well, it’s not totally selfless, you know. I did it for Sean but I also did it for me; I mean, it’s my birthday after all.”
“And I promise it’ll be a birthday you’ll never forget.”
“I count on it. I promised my mom I’d do the dishes for a month, so it’d better be worth it.”
Sean came up beside them and handed Tammy her trolley. “Don’t think you’re off the hook, though. We’ll have to talk about your tricking me into this.”
Tammy rolled her eyes, and as they all walked toward the taxi rank, Alyssa couldn’t help but feel lightheaded at the thought that for the next forty-eight hours Sean would be within arm’s reach.
Chapter Thirty-six
When the taxi stopped and they hopped out, after arguing over who would pay, Sean almost felt sick at the sight of the hotel. Why had she booked them in such a posh hotel they wouldn’t be able to afford? He had asked her to look around for something cheap and suitable for them; she knew too well he didn’t feel at ease around rich people¸ and now he was standing on the sidewalk like a stupid countryman amongst upper-class people who would look down on him and totally spoil his weekend.
“You’re kidding, right?”
He turned back to look at her and, even though he noticed how excited Tammy was, he knew there was no way they’d stay there, no matter how much his sister liked the place.
“Aww, Alyssa, this is so amazing. Are we really going to stay here?”
“No, we’re not,” he cut in, before Alyssa could reply. Tammy stared at him with a frown and something resembling a pout. She could pout all she wanted; he wasn’t going to spend the night in that place.
“Of course you are,” Alyssa said, as if she hadn’t heard him at all. “I’ve booked a very nice room on the fifteenth floor, I’m sure you’ll like it. Come on, let’s go inside.”
She linked her arm through Tammy’s and made for the door, but they both stopped when they heard Sean talking from the spot he had been standing in since they had gotten out of the taxi.
“You know we can’t afford to stay here. I’d asked you to look for something cheap. I would’ve looked myself had I known you’d end up booking something like this. We simply can’t stay.”
“Please, Sean, it’s your sister’s birthday. You can’t sleep in a cheap inn somewhere in the suburbs. Besides, it’s close to where I live and they know me, so I got a good rate for your room. After what she did for you, for us, the least you could do is stop being grumpy and enjoy your vacation!”
Alyssa winked at Tammy who smiled at her, and they both turned to look at him with expectant expression on their faces. When he didn’t move or say a word, Alyssa shrugged and turned around toward the big glass door.
“Well, suit yourself, then. We’re going in. You can sleep out here on the pavement!”
When they disappeared inside the luxurious hall, Sean sighed and shook his head, then he grabbed the suitcase and went inside, sure he would regret it.
***
When Alyssa had told Tammy that the hotel staff knew her, Sean hadn’t imagined it was because she had actually lived there. As soon as they’d reached the reception, the
man in a tailored dark uniform had smiled at her and chatted with her as if he’d known her for years.
When Tammy had asked Alyssa for an explanation while they were in the elevator, she had simply shrugged and said she had lived there for a couple of months while she was waiting for her apartment to be renovated.
“You mean you lived in a hotel?”
She nodded, as if it were the most normal thing, something everyone did.
“The apartment my grandmother left me was in such a poor state after the last tenants left, that the renovators told me it would take at least two months to make it inhabitable again.” She shrugged and scrunched up her nose. “I didn’t want to live two months under my mother’s roof, not after experiencing life on my own at college. So when a colleague recommended this place, I jumped at the chance and booked my stay. They have studio apartments for rent. It was a very enjoyable experience; I didn’t have to cook or clean, and I could have dinner in bed while watching TV without anyone telling me I couldn’t.”
For the sake of peace, Sean hid the shock on his face behind a fake smile. He didn’t want to start fighting with her again because of her lifestyle.
When they opened the door to the room, Tammy let out a scream and ran inside, looking around as if she was living a dream. If nothing else, at least he could try and endure it for his sister. It was her birthday and she’d organized this trip for him; she deserved a little happiness.
When Alyssa saw Tammy’s reaction, she laughed and stepped in behind her. Sean followed and when he closed the door behind him, he looked around, feeling totally out of place.
Why had she done that? What had gotten into her mind, when she knew just too well how uneasy it would make him feel?
“Oh my God, have you seen the size of the bathroom?” Tammy squealed from behind the door on his right. “This is as big as my room. And the towels are so fluffy!”
Alyssa laughed and reached for Sean’s hand, linking her fingers through his. The soft touch of her skin was familiar and reassuring, but he couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it, not while that nagging feeling in the back of his head kept hammering.
Hold on to Love Page 23