by J. Desails
We walked into the back yard, where it was decorated beautifully and strung with lights. It looked like the set of a southern romance movie. Jer’s mother was always amazing at decorating, but tonight surpassed any expectations. I knew plenty of girls that would kill to have a wedding here, including me.
“Hi Mrs. Jones, this looks amazing.” She wrapped her arms tightly around me.
“My little Iz, you have grown so much, and who might this be?”
I introduced Bo to everyone. I also took notice that Jer and Melissa weren’t here yet. I tried to stay focused on the party, but I could feel the tension building up knowing that they would be here any minute.
I saw Bo talking to my brother. Red looked over at me and I smiled at him. He nodded and winked, and I felt really lucky to have him in my life. I also made a mental note to make more time for him.
Maybe it was the age difference, or maybe the fact that we looked nothing alike, it could be that we were nothing alike, but I had to stop making excuses for not being there for him. I remembered him being a little chunk with braces, and I almost can’t believe that he turned into a man, well boy man. His red hair turned more of a strawberry blond as he got older and it seemed to suit him much better. His blue eyes, contrasted my brown and his fair skin paled in comparison to my dark olive skin. If I wasn’t old enough to remember my mom being pregnant with him, I could almost swear that we weren’t related.
I saw him rubbing his earlobe as he was talking to Bo, and I was happy knowing that there are some things that we do have in common. I am sure Bo picked up on it too.
Jason came up and planted a big kiss on my cheek.
“What’s up sis?” Jason always called me sis, never by my real name.
“Just celebrating two of my favorite boys tonight…..”
“You’re so corny, hey can you introduce me to your friend?”
“Who Bo?” I asked, placing my arm around him.
“Is Bo the hot one with the short skirt and heels?” He raised his eyebrows at me.
“That would be a no, and a hell no to introducing you to her, she’s too old, don’t even think about it.”
“Well I just want a picture of us to show my friends, don’t be a bitch.”
I punched him playfully in the arm. He was so opposite of his brother. We began catching up, he told me about all the girls he conquered in high school, and I told him I was not impressed, although actually, I kind of was. He and my brother were best friends and the ‘it’ boys, according to them. They had no idea that the world didn’t revolve around them. He started losing my attention as I dazed off staring at Bo, then he said it, and I was sure he saw my reaction.
“So have you met Melissa? Jer says she’s the one.”
“Yeah. I’ve met her, she seems great.” I put my drink down and walked into the front yard.
Jason didn’t follow me. I needed a moment to get myself together. Just as I sat on the porch and started to feel the tears building up I heard his voice. I quickly wiped my eyes as they rounded the corner. She had her fingers laced in his, and she looked perfect. Her hair was down and wavy and she had on a floral dress with cowgirl boots. They did look perfect together. I almost couldn’t stand myself that I wasn’t happy for him. My whole life I’ve wanted him to be nothing but happy, yet here I was being selfish and hateful.
“Hey guys! So glad you’re finally here.” I tried to sound as normal as possible.
“Hey Iz.” He nodded. I saw him grab her hand a little tighter.
“Hey Izzie, how are you?” I swore she knew I hated to be called that.
“I’m good Melissa. Thanks for asking. The party is beautiful you guys should go check it out.”
“I know, I told Mrs. Jones this would be a beautiful place for a wedding.” She nudged Jer in the side and I thought I was going to be sick.
“Are you coming out back?” She asked in the most sickening sweet voice.
“Yeah, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She leaned into Jer and they disappeared into the back yard.
And that was it. They headed into the back yard as I continued to get composed. I just couldn’t get over everything that had transpired in the last week, between Bo cheating on me, or not, definitely hooking up with Jer, and now Jer with his future wife. I felt like my entire world was falling apart, or maybe it was falling together. I lost all control of everything around me and I finally had a grip on that. I did the only thing I knew to do in that moment, I prayed. When I finally found the strength to stand up I felt someone grab my arm behind me, instinctively I pulled away.
“Iz, what the hell is going on with you and why the hell is he here? He cheated on you and has treated you like shit.”
I turned to face him; I could see that he was angry, which fueled my fire. He didn’t look concerned the least bit when he walked in with Melissa on his arm.
“Hmmm Jer, I wonder what the hell is going on here? Were you not present last night? Was that not you making out with me? Rubbing your hands all over me? Was that a dream?”
“No, it happened.” He was staring at the ground.
“Bo showed up this morning and I decided to let him stay, turns out the same applied for Melissa. Last night was a mistake. Have you told her about last night?”
“No, and I can bet you haven’t told him either. Not that he has the right to know.”
“Jer, we need to let go of each other. I think last night was it.”
I could hear him take a deep breath in, I was fully prepared to let him preach to me, but then all loyalty I felt to him disappeared.
I turned and walked into the back yard, I needed to be in front of an audience so he couldn’t make a scene. I didn’t need the knife to be twisted in my back, I was just getting used to the pain of it being there in the first place. Jer and I never fought like this; I should have never let it get out of hand last night, and neither should he.
I found Bo and gently placed my head on him, he was comfortable and safe, at least in this point in time. As much as I believed that Bo was with someone else, I also believed he would never hurt me. It wasn’t in his nature. He looked down at me and winked, I think he could tell something was off.
We continued to make our rounds. Finally, it was my Dad's turn to question Bo.
“Well Bo, we’ve heard a lot about you.”
He put his hand out to shake my fathers, my Dad kept his tight lipped smile and reached his hand out in return.
“You should be good to my daughter Bo, you should also know that I have a lot of guns.” I couldn’t help but let out a hysterical laugh.
“What?” My Dad looked at me annoyed.
“You have been waiting to use that line for years!”
“You don’t have to worry sir, I have no intentions of hurting your daughter.” He grabbed my hand.
“Well in that case you should put a ring on her finger.” He winked in my direction.
I know my Dad saw my jaw drop; it was partially because I couldn’t believe what he just said, and partially because I saw Jer right behind him. By the look on Jer’s face I was sure that he heard everything.
“Sorry baby girl, just needed to voice my opinion, seems like you got a keeper here.”
“Hey Pops.” Jer put an arm around my father. He never called him Pops, so I knew that he was drinking, and trying to intimidate Bo.
“Hey Jer, good to see you son, have you met Bo?”
“Have I met him? Of course! I’m also the one that Iz came running to when he cheated on her.”
“Jer, shut up.” This would be my last warning.
“What Iz? You didn’t tell everyone that Mr. Perfect is really an asshole?”
“Hunny.” My Dad looked at me with pity.
“Dad, it’s not true and Jer is drunk.”
“Sir, as I just promised you I will never hurt your daughter. In fact, I was going to wait until later this weekend but I wanted to ask your permission for her to move in with me.” Bo didn’t
seem phased by Jer.
I couldn’t read Dad, and that was something that scared me, his face was blank. Fortunately, Mom came up and changed the subject.
“Rich, did you know that Bo here is amazing at pool? Lets all go to Unc’s after the dinner!”
“Yeah, that should be fun.” He looked at Bo sizing him up.
“And by the way Bo, she is a grown woman, she can live where ever she pleases.” He shook his hand again and turned away.
“Don’t come running to me when he fucks up again.” Jer shoved past Bo.
“Bells, I don’t know how long I can go without punching him in the face. And I really need to tell you the truth, I promise you I didn’t cheat on you.”
“Bo, I believe you. I don’t need an explanation, not right now anyway.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think you do believe me.”
“Bo, shut the hell up.”
“Ok, but you just tell me when.”
I was stressed about the fact that we would have to go back to Unc’s tonight. I was trying to calculate in my head how much Jer was drinking and add up the time we had until the dinner was over. According to my calculations, it was going to be a very long, very verbal night at Uncs.
I saw Jer come back out with the cake, and he avoided eye contact with me completely. We spent the last two hours socializing with all of my old acquaintances, and Bo actually seemed interested in all the stories they had to share about me. He kept his hands placed around my waist the whole night, and it quickly became our comfort zone. Jane was M.I.A. and sent me a text that she would meet me at my house later. I would worry under normal circumstances, but this was far from normal circumstances.
As we started to say our goodbyes, Jer bumped into me.
“We need to talk.” He whispered into my ear.
He reached out for my wrist and Bo looked at him disapprovingly.
“Anything I can help you with Jeremy?” Bo said through his teeth. I could feel his arms tighten around me.
“No man, have a good night.” He let go, and I saw a glimpse of sadness before the anger surfaced again.
“Do you want to explain to me what is going on between the two of you?”
“Not really Bo, it might have something to do with you being here though.”
“I figured as much. Let's get going baby.” He placed a kiss on my forehead and I felt my eyes start to well up with tears.
“Why don’t you head over to the bar, I’m going to help clean up and I’ll meet you there in a few.”
“Are you sure? I can stay and help.”
“No, Dad is expecting you, and I fully expect you to get on his good side, oh and don’t beat him in pool.”
“Alright baby, see you in a few.”
I went around back and saw Mrs. Jones and Melissa carrying leftovers into the house. I walked to the edge of the yard and looked out over the water. It was hard to imagine that the same stars were in the New York sky I was used to.
I sat down under the huge tree that was decorated with little white lights.
“Iz.” I heard him creeping up behind me.
“Jer please go away.”
“Are you crying?”
“No, I said leave me alone.”
“We aren’t thirteen anymore, you can’t tell me to go away and expect me to listen.”
“Jer, what the fuck? Did last night happen? I’m being serious, because just tell me it didn’t and we can just go on like it never happened.”
“It happened.” He put his arm around me.
“I don’t know why it happened, or why I did that to you, but I need to tell you something.” I looked up at him, waiting to hear the words that I never thought I would be craving to hear from him.
“Iz, I think I am going to marry her.” With every attempt to hold myself together, I lost.
“Get away from me.” I got up and started sprinting to the front of the house.
“Iz, are you kidding me.” He was gaining on me, and I knew that he was faster.
He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back. I began wondering if he felt the need to kiss me to prove to himself there was nothing between us. Maybe that was all the reasoning for his behavior last night, purely curiosity.
“ I thought you would be happy for me, she is great! She loves me, and she will take care of me what the hell is wrong with you?”
“Jer, how can you possibly feel that way about her when last night we were naked in your shower together. We were with each other.”
“Iz, I was drunk and so were you. I am so sorry.”
“Well since we are being honest, I am moving in with Bo.” I said it just to be spiteful, because I really wasn’t sure of that decision yet.
“Iz, I don’t really care if you screw up your life with him. I know that I’ll be happy, and my life will go on without you.”
I felt the air escape my lungs, and I turned to walk away. Jer didn’t come after me. The bar wasn’t far so I just decided to walk and clear my head.
When I opened the door, I saw everyone that I love laughing and getting along like old friends.
My Dad had his arm around Bo, and my heart was momentarily happy. Both of those men loved me, and that should be enough.
“ Hey, you’re finally here!” Dad yelled from across the room.
“Oh my gosh Izzie, that guy of yours is so gorgeous! They must really make them better in the city.” Jessica, an old frienemy from high school had nothing to hold back.
“Thanks, I really lucked out with him. They aren’t all that well groomed.”
The bar was packed with old familiar faces, and I decided to drink my way through the night.
Jane finally showed up to the bar, and Jason was right behind her.
“Bells, this little boy has been following me around like a puppy all night.”
I turned to the bartender and ordered 12 shots. My Dad nodding in my direction approving and also making note that one of the shots was his.
Jane winked at me and squealed, this is what we would have done if we had been in the city, and twenty years old. Although sometimes I felt a little too old to be taking as many shots as I thought I could manage, part of me felt like if I drank enough I could just go back to being that 20 year old girl again.
After my sixth shot, I felt like I almost couldn’t stand. It had been awhile since I drank that way, and now I was reminded of why I had waited so long again. Just when I almost fell I heard a loud smack. “Fuck.” I said it without even turning around.
I expected to find one of the high schooler’s on the floor. As I slowly turned around, I saw Jer holding his nose, and blood pouring out.
“What the hell?” I ran over and saw Bo holding his hand.
“Bo are you fucking kidding me?” I gleamed at him.
“Trust me Bells, you’ll be thanking me when you hear what he said about you.”
I looked at Jer, and didn’t feel sorry for him at all. I bent over and handed him a rag.
“Goodbye Jer.” I kissed his forehead and walked out of the bar.
“Bells, I really am sorry. I just couldn’t handle it anymore.”
“I don’t blame you Bo. It's fine.”
“Do you want to know what he said?”
“No, I really can't handle anything else right now.”
“Are you ready to go?”
I looked at him opening the door for me. How did I find him?
“Looks like you already know my answer.”
He grabbed my hand and sat me in the car.
Bo grabbed my hand and whispered, “I’m so sorry. If I didn’t think you were worth the fight I wouldn’t be here right now.”
I had myself wondering if I really was worth the fight, to Jeremy or Bo. Would Jer really fight for me at the end of the day? Tonight, that answer was no.
“Let’s just go home Bo.”
“Ok.”
“No, not my home here. Our home in the city, I want to go home.”
“Bells, your
family might be upset they didn’t get to say goodbye and what about Jane?”
“I’ll leave my mom a note, trust me she will understand. And I’ll call Jane and ask her to drive my car back home. I just need to be home.”
Bo quietly nodded his head and pulled into my parent’s driveway.
“Do you want me to help you pack up?”
“No I’ll just be a minute, most of my stuff is at Jer’s and I can just have him overnight it.”
“Ok, I’ll be here waiting for you.” I always hoped to hear those words come out of his mouth.
Chapter Seventeen
I scribbled my mom a note on a post it, along with a line about her coming to the city. I feel like if I could get her into the city for a weekend, she would fall in love with it just like I had. I am sure after what they just witnessed they would completely understand me leaving so abruptly.
I went into my room to gather my belongings and I realized everything was at Jer’s, and I knew I had to go back tonight. At least I had Bo on my side.
I took in one last deep breath and let the smell of my childhood home consume me. I looked into my little brother’s room and decided to place the letter I had written him on his bed. Because we never had the relationship I had hoped for, I debated on even letting him read it.
I closed the door quietly behind me and looked out at Bo. He looked lost, maybe it was because he didn’t know what was wrong with me, or maybe because of something completely unrelated.
I asked him under my breath to take me to Jer’s and he agreed, but not another word was spoken between us.
I could feel the knots in my stomach starting to multiply, and Bo was feeding off of my tension.
As we pulled up in front of his house, Bo looked at me offering to go in, so I didn’t have to go alone.
Without saying anything to him I responded with a small shake of my head. Jer’s car wasn’t there so I assumed he wasn’t home anyway. I didn’t want him to revisit the scene of the crime with me.
As I pressed through the door the feeling of home that I had felt just days ago completely dissolved. I ran into the bedroom and saw all of my items already in my bag, and as I reached to grab it I felt someone staring at me. Reluctantly I looked up and saw him standing in the bathroom wearing nothing but his jeans. I immediately closed my eyes hoping that I wasn’t walking into what I thought I was.