Always My Girl (The Shaughnessy Brothers)

by Samantha Chase

  Aidan waved him off. “Everyone’s good. Come on. The pub?”

  “No,” Quinn said a little too quickly. “Maybe someplace…” He shook his head. “Just someplace else.”

  Without questioning it, Aidan walked over to his truck and climbed in. Quinn joined him and they drove out of the heart of town to a small diner while doing nothing but talking about the latest sports scores and the weather.

  Once they were seated inside and had placed their orders, Aidan cut to the chase. “Okay, I may be way off base here, but if I had to guess, I’d say you didn’t ask me to lunch because you missed me.” He shook his head. “I know that look, Quinn. I’ve had that look. What’s going on with Anna?”

  There was no point in playing dumb—this was exactly why he’d asked his brother to lunch. He sighed wearily as he played with the salt and pepper shakers on the table. “No one thinks I’m good enough for her.”

  Aidan sat back in his seat and studied his younger brother for a solid minute. “And what about you? Do you think you’re good enough for her?”

  Quinn shrugged. “I want to be.”

  “But?”

  Pushing the shakers aside, he looked at Aidan. “You’ve all said it. Everyone thinks Anna should be with someone…someone better. I’m a screwup. I didn’t pay attention all those years. I was a serial dater who avoided relationships like the plague. I mean, take your pick. It doesn’t matter who I am now, everyone, including you, can’t see beyond my past. I can’t outrun my reputation.”

  “Okay, okay, just hang on a minute. What do you mean ‘including you’? How did I get involved in this?” Aidan asked with genuine concern.

  “Not just you—you, Hugh, Riley, Bobby…hell, everyone we know. You’re all reminding me of the stupid things I’ve done and how badly I treated Anna and how she deserves better.” And then, much to Quinn’s annoyance, Aidan laughed. “What’s so damn funny?”

  “You are! Jeez, Quinn, when did you get so damn sensitive?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Aidan rested his arms on the table and leaned forward. “You know, out of the entire family, you have the biggest damn mouth.”

  “Hey—”

  “Shut up,” Aidan interrupted. “Every time we all get together, you’re the first one to pick a fight or tease someone about something, but when we do it back, you get all bent out of shape! You’ve done more than your fair share of teasing me about being whipped where Zoe’s concerned, and not so long ago, you told her she should leave me and marry you. Don’t you think I found that a little insulting?”

  “Dude, I was teasing!”

  “Yeah, and so were we! Do you not see the irony here? It’s what family does, dumbass. We tease one another. And Anna’s been family practically since we all first met! Why wouldn’t we all get a kick out of picking on the both of you? You need to lighten up, man.”

  “Yeah, well…what about everyone else?” He told Aidan about the incident at the softball game.

  The waitress brought their plates out and smiled as she walked away. “Look, the fact is you do have a rather colorful past. You can’t change it. And you can’t expect people to simply forget it either. All you can do is your best, Quinn. You need to make people see who you are now and how much you’ve changed.”

  “What if I can’t?”

  “What? Change?”

  He shook his head. “No. What if I can’t make anyone forget or see I’m not that guy anymore?”

  Aidan looked at him and gave him a sympathetic smile. “Then they’re not trying hard enough to see who you really are.”

  “And who am I?”

  “Only you can answer that.”

  They ate in silence for a few minutes before Quinn could speak again. “I don’t want Anna feeling like she made a mistake. We’ve been friends for too damn long, and I don’t think I’d know how to live my life without her.”

  Putting his burger down, Aidan’s expression was serious. “What if it doesn’t work out, Quinn? What if the romantic part of the relationship doesn’t work? Do you really think the two of you could go back to being friends?” Before Quinn could answer, Aidan continued. “I’m not going to lie to you. I think it was a big risk to change the dynamic. The two of you were closer than any two people I know. Personally, I don’t know if I could have been that brave.”

  “You think I’m brave?”

  Aidan nodded. “You’re one of the bravest people I know, Quinn. You go after what you want. You always have. I’ve seen you take on every kind of sport, and you were a damn legend when you were racing, and now you’ve got your own chain of shops. Dude, nothing scares you. But this? This thing with Anna? I can see that it does. That’s not a bad thing, but you’re going to have to get to a point where you’re okay with it.”

  “You mean to tell me nothing about your relationship with Zoe scares you?”

  “At one time, sure. Hell, everything about my relationship with her scared me in the beginning, and because of that, she almost moved back to Arizona. I had to come to grips with my fears and insecurities, my crazy beliefs about how life was supposed to be. And, if memory serves, you made fun of me because of them.”

  “Yeah, well—”

  “Bottom line: Do you see yourself marrying Anna? Having kids? Settling down, buying a home, and doing the forever thing? Or do you see yourself with Anna in your life the way things were?”

  “Why can’t the two be combined?” Quinn asked, his throat tight.

  “Because they can’t,” Aidan said simply. “It’s always a great thing when you marry your best friend, but there needs to be more, Quinn. You can’t expect Anna to be content with having you just as a sex buddy for the rest of her life. You need to figure out how you really see your future. And then you have to figure out if it only benefits you—or you and Anna.”

  Unfortunately, Quinn felt like he already knew the answer.

  * * *

  It had been a crappy day.

  Anna had shown six houses to an extremely demanding couple, and she was mentally exhausted. There had been a problem with some of the permits for Hugh’s property, and he had called her having a bit of a panic attack because he thought everything was already lined up for him to move forward with his plans. On top of that, as low man on the totem pole at the agency, it had been her turn to pick up everyone’s afternoon coffee, and she had dropped the tray getting out of her car. The amount of ribbing and teasing she had gotten—on top of dealing with her coffee-drenched clothes—had been all she could stand.

  The only bright spot in her day was that she and Quinn were going out to dinner that night. And not to the pub or for pizza, but he was taking her out to one of her favorite steakhouses—in town. They would have dinner and do a little dancing, and just the thought of it was enough to get her through the drive home and put the thoughts of her day behind her.

  She took her time getting ready—showering and shaving and using enough scented moisturizer to make sure she was smooth and silky all over. Her hair was beginning to get on her nerves because it was longer than she’d ever worn it, and rather than being able to simply blow it dry, she had to take out her curling iron and do something with it.

  “Well, this sucks,” she murmured after she burned her fingers for the third time and gave serious thought to grabbing a pair of scissors and just hacking it all off.

  Looking over at the clock, she knew Quinn would be home soon. They’d already talked about him coming over directly from the shop and getting ready at her place. Even though Quinn still had his place, he spent most of his time at Anna’s and even had a small collection of clothes he kept there—including the suit he was going to wear tonight.

  Just the sight of it hanging in her closet made Anna smile.

  How many years had she dreamed of this? Of finally having Quinn love her and being in the kind
of romantic relationship that made her heart skip a beat and her toes curl? They’d made the transformation from friends to lovers with such ease, she knew they were destined to be.

  With her hair and makeup complete, she walked over to her closet and pulled out the dress she had purchased especially for tonight. Red silk with spaghetti straps, the bodice hugged her almost like a second skin. It hit right at her knees, and she’d found the perfect pair of matching sandals to go with it. It was so different from anything she’d ever worn, and yet when she saw it in the little dress shop she drove past every day, Anna had known she had to have it.

  And she couldn’t wait to see the look on Quinn’s face when he saw her in it.

  Her phone rang and she smiled when she saw Zoe’s face on the screen. “Hey! What’s up?”

  “So tonight’s the big date night,” Zoe said giddily. “Did you get the dress?”

  “I did! I still can’t believe I really bought it, but once I went in and tried it on, I was sold. It’s so bold and sexy and—”

  “Sweetie, you should have started showcasing your curves a long time ago,” Zoe interrupted. “Quinn is going to swallow his tongue when he sees you.”

  “That would be something,” Anna said. “I think the last time I really gave him that kind of reaction was before your wedding when he saw me in the bikini.”

  Zoe chuckled. “That was a great day! I think it was almost cartoonish the way his eyes popped out!”

  “Yeah, well…he wasn’t so happy about it then. I can only hope he’ll have a better response tonight.”

  “You and me both.”

  “Anything else going on?”

  “Actually, yes. I just got off the phone with Aubrey, and Hugh has to be out of town for a few days. She’s going to be home alone and asked if maybe you and I would come and hang out with her. My schedule’s fairly flexible, but I wasn’t sure about yours.”

  “I can definitely move things around,” Anna said, going over her next set of appointments. “Is she all right? Is there a reason why she can’t travel with Hugh?”

  “Yeah, he’s making her crazy!”

  That had Anna laughing. “No!”

  “Yeah, apparently she needs a little time without him hovering, and she’s hoping with him away for a few days, he’ll see she’s not an invalid.”

  “I can see how his behavior could start to get annoying.”

  “It’s sweet, don’t get me wrong, but she’s not allowed to just enjoy being pregnant because Hugh is so worried and cautious. She wants to prove she can still do all the things she loves to do and be pregnant at the same time.”

  “I’ll definitely move my schedule around. When did you want to leave?”

  “Hugh’s leaving tomorrow—which is Wednesday—and I figured she’d want at least a day to herself to do whatever it is around the house that he won’t let her do, so maybe Thursday afternoon? What do you think?”

  “That should work. That will give me tomorrow to get my stuff in order. Is Aidan okay with you going?”

  “Absolutely. I admit I’ll miss sleeping beside him, but it’s for a good cause. Besides, he’s putting in a lot of extra time on this new subdivision because he wants to get a little ahead of schedule.”

  “How come? Everything okay?”

  “We kind of started talking about going on vacation—a real one this time, when we seriously get out and leave the hotel room.”

  “Oh, really? Where to? Please tell me you’re not going back to Mexico because that would just be sad. You blew your chance with that one. You need to move on.”

  “No, no, no, we’re thinking either Hawaii or checking out Hugh’s place in Sydney.”

  “Wow! Either of those would be amazing.”

  “I know! So if we do it, Aidan wants to make sure he’s leaving at a point when things are somewhat under control. I mean, he knows anything can happen, but he’s trying to get everything in order now in hopes it will stay that way.”

  “That’s great, Zoe. I’m so happy for you guys.” Anna looked over at the clock. “But I need to get moving. Quinn’s going to be home soon, and I want to be dressed when he gets here.”

  “I’m going to want all the details on his reaction!”

  “You got it! I’ll see you Thursday! Your car or mine?”

  “Yours,” Zoe said with a chuckle. “It’s new and pretty.”

  “Yes, it is. Okay, I’ll talk to you later!” She hung up and immediately jumped up and finished getting dressed. Looking at herself from every angle in her full-length mirror, Anna was feeling pretty damn confident in herself.

  She looked longingly at the jeans and sneakers in her closet. She missed them, missed being comfortable all the time. This being a girly-girl thing was exhausting—the hair, the makeup, the shoes! Why did society act as if it were all a good thing? Then she looked back at her reflection and smiled. “Oh yeah,” she said. “Because I look really good!”

  With nothing left to do, she went out to the kitchen and got herself something to drink and then waited.

  And waited.

  And waited.

  She knew Quinn could easily lose track of time when he was working on a car, but she couldn’t help but be annoyed that he’d do it tonight. They hadn’t ever gone out on a real romantic date, and the fact that he would choose this night to be late really ticked her off.

  Calling the shop, she cursed when no one answered. She got the same result when she called his cell phone.

  That’s when she began to worry.

  Certainly he wouldn’t ignore his cell phone—he kept it on him at all times. What if something had happened to him? What if he was hurt and alone in the shop? All of her anger instantly fled as she scooped up her purse and ran out the door. His shop was only a few minutes away, and she knew she could get to him quickly.

  Dressed in her killer dress and heels, she pulled up in front of the garage and saw his car was still there, along with several others. Climbing from the car, she immediately walked around to the back of the property where Quinn did the restorations.

  Pulling open the door, she was struck by the sound of male laughter. The loud slam of the door behind her had the space going quiet for a second. Quinn looked over at her, and she knew the instant he realized he’d screwed up. He jogged over to her.

  “Shit, Anna. I’m sorry. I lost track of time and—”

  “Who is he?” she asked, motioning to the man Quinn had been talking to.

  “That’s Ken Bishop. He’s with Classic Cars magazine. He came to check out the cars and see what I’m working on and get some preliminary stuff out of the way for the article he’s going to write. It’s going to be a series, and he believes this kind of exposure will lead to me getting more clients. These two cars will—”

  “Jake’s cars?”

  He nodded.

  “You do realize we had plans tonight?” she said with a little snap to her tone.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know. But he showed up here unannounced and we got to talking and the time just got away from me.” He wanted to touch her, but his hands were dirty and he reconsidered. Then he finally noticed what she was wearing. “Damn, Anna. Your dress is amazing. Red looks really good on you. You look beautiful.”

  “You’re joking, right?”

  “What? I’m serious. You look amazing. I’ve never seen you in anything—”

  “No, you haven’t,” she snapped. “I bought this dress especially for tonight. I thought tonight was a big deal. Apparently I’m the only one.”

  “Okay, look, give me five minutes and I’ll get this guy out of here and—”

  “It won’t matter! We’ve missed our reservation!”

  “So we’ll go someplace else. Really, just let me—”

  She held up her hands and took a step back. “You know what? No. I have tried to be understan
ding, and I have tried to be supportive. Always. Everyone told me I was being too generous in not making a big deal out of you working on Jake Tanner’s cars and I sided with you. I defended you. And when it came time for you to choose between those damn cars and me, you chose the cars.”

  “Anna, if you’d just listen—”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m done listening to you. You’ll always have an excuse. You’ll always have a reason why you’re right and I’m wrong. God, I’m such an idiot!” she cried. “I knew this about you and I still let it happen!” Her brown eyes welled with tears as she poked him in the chest. “I knew you would never put me first, and I let myself believe you would change!”

  “I have changed! I made a mistake. I screwed up!”

  “Yes, you did,” she said sadly.

  “Baby, I’m sorry. Let me get rid of Ken and we’ll talk. Let me make it up to you. Let me—”

  She shook her head again. “I can’t. I can’t do this anymore, Quinn. That’s your go-to line: ‘Let me.’ Let me explain. Let me make it up to you. I need someone who doesn’t have to keep explaining why I’m not a priority and why I’m not enough.”

  “But you are enough! Anna, you’re everything! Please, you have to know that!”

  “It’s what I try to keep telling myself, but even I don’t believe it anymore.” Her heart ached and she knew if she didn’t leave soon, she would simply crumple to the ground. “It hurt when you did things like this when we were just friends, but it’s killing me now.” She took a few more steps away from him. “We could have been so good together, Quinn. I gave you everything—I always have—but it’s never going to be enough.”

  At least he was smart enough to know to stop arguing and trying to correct her.

  “I don’t want you to come by my house. I don’t want you to call. I’ll make arrangements to get your things back to you.”

  Quinn’s expression was of pure devastation. “Don’t do this,” he said quietly, his voice shaking.

  Anna took a steadying breath. “I have to. It’s the only way I’ll survive.” She didn’t allow herself any more time. Carefully, she turned around and walked to the door and out of the garage.