by A. J. Downey
“London? London are you all right!?” Professor England was looking at me with concern.
“What?” I asked and my voice sounded far away.
“Sit down.” She ordered.
“Miram get her some water.” The Professor ordered. The girl got up and scurried away.
“London what’s wrong?” the professor repeated.
“He lied to me.” Tears welled and spilled over.
“Who lied?” she asked.
“Evan, Dorian, whatever his name is! Oh my God…” I covered my mouth with my hand.
Evan Lake wasn’t real? He lied to me? He slept with me knowingly lying to me!? He told me loved me… I closed my eyes as the room whirled, then stopped, righting itself.
Who the hell had I been dating? Could we call what we’d been doing dating? I was so confused…
I stared at the forgotten image in the center of the island and the image on the phne screen beside it.
Evan Lake wasn’t real…
It was all a lie.
I stared out the window at the rain pattering against the pane and watched Evan’s last chance trickle down the glass, washing away the ashes of my heart with it.
Truth was, I had somehow come to love him too…
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Chapter 15
I taped the manila envelope with the eight by ten photograph of Evan… Dorian… in it to his front door along with a note.
It read:
Liar. I don’t ever want to speak to you again. Leave me alone.
-London
On the outside of the envelope in bold sharpie I had written ‘Dorian’. I then went downstairs to my apartment, locked my doors and windows and in addition to drawing the blinds on the window with the fire escape I tacked a towel over it.
It was dark in my little home, and darker still in the recesses of my heart and mind. An hour later pounding came at my door.
“L.B.!” Evan cried. I sat on my bed and hugged a pillow to my chest. I felt hollowed out, and clutching the pillow to my chest felt like a pathetic last ditch effort to keep myself together. I felt like I was flying apart. I didn’t want to, I hadn’t realized the depths of my feelings for Evan… God! Dorian!
My heart bled afresh with the wound his lies and betrayal had left in it.
“L.B. please! Talk to me!”
“Fuck off Dorian!” I screamed and immediately began sobbing. Big noisy wracking chest heaving sobs.
“London!” he called and then cursed. I heard his booted feet on the stair and moments later he was tapping on my window with something.
“Go away!” I screamed.
I had to stick to my guns.
“Please babe. I need you.” He said.
“Then you should have told me the truth! Now go away! I can’t take any more of your bullshit! I tried! Now please just go away!” I sobbed and laid sideways on my bed.
I cried myself to sleep that night, unfortunately, Evan would not be so immediately swayed.
~*~
“L.B.! Come on L.B.! Talk to me!” He didn’t grab me or run after me, for which I was grateful, but Evan… Dorian! Had taken to camping on the landing outside my door.
It had been three days since the revelation that Evan Lake was indeed Dorian Metzger, lead guitarist for the rock band Elysium. The D. he referred to was none other than Drake Tremaine, the band’s lead singer. At least his grief had been real if nothing else…
I clattered down the stairs and didn’t bother to look back. I wondered how I missed it. I mean I liked the band, but after carefully thinking about it I realized that when it came to most of the bands I liked, when I saw a picture of the band or a music video the focus was completely on the lead singer.
When I thought about it I realized I had never paid attention to Elysium’s guitarist or drummer… which was a shame. Not only because it would have saved me a lot of humiliation and grief but also because Dorian was still, in my opinion, too beautiful to miss.
Looking back on the last six or seven weeks I realized that there had been so many warning signs that I had just plain been oblivious to. His despising having his picture taken, the blonde laughing her drunken head off when I’d called him Evan, even Hal’s stumbling over the use of his name.
At least Hal had told me the truth. Elysium’s drummer was indeed Hal Walker.
I strode up the street and tried valiantly to hate Dorian but all I could muster was disappointment, sadness and a keen sense of loss and betrayal.
Damn him… just damn him.
Stage 6
Making Things Right
Chapter 16
I was at my mother’s again. The news was over and the entertainment gossip show was starting. I had told her everything, in my family there were no secrets… Dorian and Hal’s face flashed across the screen and I flinched. My mom’s hand immediately picked up my own and she squeezed it.
“Want me to change the channel?” she asked.
“No.” I murmured.
It had been three weeks since what I was calling ‘the revelation’ had occurred.
“Next on Entertainment Insider, the remaining band members of Elysium give their first exclusive interview since the suicide of lead singer Drake Tremaine… We’ll be broadcasting live! Coming up, right after this!” The announcer’s voice was bold and overloud and I winced, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.
I would not cry.
“Oh honey.” My mom rubbed my back and Dorian and Hal came on the screen across from some woman set to interview them.
“I’m Lacy Peters here live with Dorian Metzger and Hal Walker, the remaining band members of Elysium. Hi guys, how are you doing?” she asked gently.
“Uh fine.”
“Fine.” They chorused.
“Dorian, you disappeared for over a month following Drake’s untimely death, what was that like for you?” she asked. Dorian froze and the expression that crossed his face was a mixture of surprise and anger which quickly smoothed over into a careful noncommittal mask of indifference.
“Drake was my best friend, we grew up together in a small town, Evan’s Lake…” he cleared his throat and I reeled, leaning forward.
“I didn’t know what to do or how to cope so, I uh… I just didn’t want to be under the spotlight, you know? I wanted to take some time for myself, figure out what I wanted, heal…” he bowed his head and looked back up, vivid green eyes shining beneath the lights.
“Where did you go?” she asked.
“I never left the city, actually.” He gave a nervous laugh. “I rented a small studio apartment, moved in with the bare minimum, even Hal here didn’t know where I was.” He looked over to Hal, his hands rubbing up and down the tops of his thighs hip to knee and back hip to knee and back… the movement of his long fingered hands was mesmerizing.
“Is that true?” she asked.
“Yeah, yeah it is…” Hal spoke for a while but my eyes were on Dorian. He had a tightness around his eyes and he sat up straighter than he usually did. I frowned.
“What did you do in your self-imposed solitude?” the interviewer asked him and I swallowed, my mouth gone dry.
“I wallowed, at first but then there was this girl…” he palmed the back of his neck and he looked sheepish.
“A girl?” She asked.
“Yeah, my downstairs neighbor.” He chewed his bottom lip and I cringed.
Please no, please no, please no… I chanted in my mind.
He looked right into the camera.
“She was my bridge back into the world. I was drowning and she pulled me up for air.” He said.
“Wow. She sounds like quite a girl.” The interviewer remarked.
“She is.” He said.
“Are you two… together?” she asked and he palmed the back of his neck again.
“No, no I screwed that up.” He swallowed.
“L.B. if you’re watching, I want to fix it more than anything, take it back. I’m sor
ry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am about all of it.” His expression was drenched in remorse.
“L.B.?” my mother asked and was echoed by the woman on the screen.
“London Bridge.” I murmured, but the woman persisted hen Dorian didn’t say anything.
“Is that her initials?” she asked.
“Sort of, it’s my initials for her.” He gave her a crooked grin and the reporter raised an eyebrow.
“The paparazzi recently caught up with you outside Primeval Ink in down town Metro City, what did you have done? Can you tell us?” she asked and gave him a salacious little smile.
Dorian laughed.
“I think it’s better if I just show you.” He slid off his stool and lifted his tee shirt over his head and I gasped.
There on the left side of his chest and ribs was a tower done in black and white. It started below his pants and rose to just below his nipple. He turned slowly for the camera, the bridge span running along his ribs to the second tower on his back which mirrored the one on his chest.
“Wow, that’s quite a piece!” the reporter remarked.
I gaped open mouthed at the television… Dorian Metzger had tattooed London Bridge larger than life on his torso.
“That boy loves you.” My mother said dubiously.
“Can you tell the viewers at home what that structure is?” she asked.
“Uh sure, it’s the famed London bridge.” He said taking his seat, albeit shirtless this time, he clipped the microphone to his necklace.
“L.B. London Bridge.” She said.
“That’s right Lacy.” He said.
“So the tattoo is for the girl?” she asked.
He looked at the camera and stated, unequivocally, “Yes. She was my bridge back to the world. She gave me strength, hope and put up with a mountain of my…” they bleeped out the word, “…and she didn’t have to. She hung on and kept me from following Drake. I love her and I would do just about anything to have her back in my life.” He leaned back, Hal was looking at him surprised. Lacy was speechless.
“Wow. That’s quite an admission…” she said, “We have to take a break,” she murmured then, voice stronger, “We’ll be right back.”
“Turn it off.” Tears glittered in my eyes and my mom did as I asked. The TV went blank and I swallowed hard.
“Oh baby.” Her face was sympathetic and she pulled me into a hug.
I was beginning to wonder just how much more I could take. I missed Dorian, had a Dorian sized hole in my heart where he should be. He’d moved out of the apartment above mine two weeks earlier and my world felt emptier for it.
I was beginning to think I had made a horrible mistake but then I took another look back. I sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. No. I wasn’t quite ready to forgive Dorian Metzger for fooling me into loving Evan Lake, a man who didn’t exist.
No I wasn’t ready at all.
Chapter 17
I walked into work two afternoons later and never had I been so grateful for the hard-to-see-out-of and often times itchy masks we had to wear. I slipped past a few unsuspecting photographers along with a couple of the other girls I worked with, grateful that they had my back.
Our bouncers kept the media on the public sidewalks and away from our front door and I shot a wobbly and grateful smile to Isaac, our head of security. He winked at me as media hounds shouted at us…
“Girls! Girls, do you know London Greene!? Records state she works here!” we squeezed into the front entryway and scuttled to the bar where our pre-opening ramp up meeting was to take place.
“London, there you are.” Our manager Jay came up to me.
“You doing okay kid?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I lied.
Truth was, my world had been turned upside down. My professors had been pretty understanding after a member of the media, if you could call him that, had burst into my class room with a camera man videotaping screaming questions at me. Asking what it was like to have a rock star in my bed among other things. Of course, that’s the super dumbed down and edited polite version… what he’d actually said had made the color drain from my face and my breakfast rise in an acid wash in the back of my throat.
Campus security had dragged him and the camera man out of my class room and my mother had to be called to come drive me home. My apartment had blessedly gone undiscovered but by the time I’d finished packing a bag the first news van had shown up.
Social media had blown up, my Facebook page had to be taken down and I had become a virtual prisoner in my childhood home. It was through sheer iron will and determination that I had come to the decision to let this circus derail my life as little as possible. I was amazed at how many people, family, educators, friends and coworkers had rallied around me to help me through this ordeal.
I knew in my heart of hearts that Evan never meant for this to happen but it didn’t stop me from being angry at him.
“Listen, London, Isaac and I were talking and we feel it best to take you off the bar tonight.” My face fell as I thought about my loss in tips.
“No! No! No! Don’t look like that!” Jay gave me a one armed hug.
“Sorry Jay, the tips are what keeps me between having an apartment and… not…” I blushed, I didn’t like admitting that I was poor as Hell.
“That’s why I want you on bottle service tonight. Got a corset and leggings for you in the back. Lauren is willing to trade with you and get you up to speed.” He nodded in Lauren’s direction, she was our best bottle server which meant, in the club world, that she was our top VIP hostess. Bottle service meant that the patron bought liquor by the bottle rather than the glass and that bottle came with mixers and basically a personal bartender in a VIP section.
It was expensive too. The markup on the bottles sold often upwards of two thousand percent, partially to accommodate an exorbitant tip for the hostess which was included in the price. You had to be good and I mean really good at customer service, bartending, and you had to have the look too. Pretty, beautiful to the degree of being a model. I worried my lower lip between my teeth.
“Are you sure?” I asked Lauren.
“Absolutely, it’s not forever, just until the crazy blows over, come on let’s get you ready.” She hugged my arm and led me to the back.
“Thanks for being game London.” Jay smiled encouragingly at me and I gave a watered down version back.
Okay, so maybe two good things had come of this mess. One, I’d gotten an A+ on my final thanks to Evan’s… Dorian’s picture and now I stood to make a little bit of extra money tonight.
I absorbed everything Lauren was telling me like a sponge while she redid my makeup and laced me into the crazy steel boned corset all the bottle servers wore. She even managed to make me look like I had cleavage while she was at it, an impressive feat all on its own.
I stood in front of the mirror in the skin tight black leggings and royal purple and black corset and blinked. A black lace half-mask had been carefully glued around my right eye and my hair hung loose and flowing down my back and around my face.
I looked like some sexy and alluring siren. The make up around my eyes turned them to orbs of cold steel and I swallowed. I looked nothing like myself and that made me smile. No one would believe the woman in the silvered glass was mild mannered art student London Greene who had been taken in by a rock star playboy.
I immediately felt guilty about that last thought. Hadn’t Evan already proven to me that he wasn’t a playboy? Confusion swirled behind my eyes but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. Bass began to filter through the walls of the back room as the DJ brought up the house music. It was show time. I followed Lauren out. Blessedly she and I were the same size and she’d lent me her thigh high flat leather boots. They clung to my legs but were comfortable as all get out to walk in for which I was extremely grateful.
“London! Table Six!” Jay shouted at me and I nodded. The doors had opened while Lauren had been working her magic on me and the clu
b was quickly filling. I glanced at table six, which was empty and so I did what I could to pitch in until I glanced over and saw three men sitting at it. I took a deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth and putting a sexy roll into my walk, stalked over.
I plastered a smile on my face and stepped up into the VIP section and the alcove for table six. I froze the smile onto my face when Hal turned to greet me.
“Hey sweetheart. You better sit down before you fall down.” He patted the sofa beside him.
“What can I get you?” I purred, pointedly ignoring Ev-Dorian whose green gaze crackled in the dim light.
“Ketel.” He said and I pursed my lips, repainted the smile on my face and inclined my head. I retreated to the bar and glared at Jay.
“Switch me out Jay!” I snarled.
“Can’t do that darlin’. I hate seeing you the way you’ve been, you gotta work this out.” He crossed his arms and I tried not to cry.
“Paid you a lot didn’t he?” I asked and he gave me an indelicate one shouldered shrug.
“I thought you were on my side!” I cried.
“I am on your side.” He stated calmly.
“Really!?” I demanded.
“Yep. Now go to work, you got clients waiting.” He gave me an impassive look and I really, really thought about quitting. I picked up the small silver tray with the bottle of Vodka on it and glared at Jay.
“I hate you so god damned much right now.” I said petulantly and he smiled out of one side of his mouth.
“Yeah, well, you wouldn’t be the first one.” He said and turned his back on me. I wanted to scream or throw something at him, which wasn’t entirely childish but enough so to keep me from doing it.
I went back to my table.
“What are we having gents?” I asked, plastic smile back in place.
“Moscow Mules all the way ‘round sweetheart.” Hal answered.
I set to work making the drinks.
“L.B. look at me.” Evan said.
I kept my eyes resolutely on the task at hand.