The Alter Ego

by Elizabeth Bramwell

  “You’re not listening, are you?” said Lily, trying to look stern but failing miserably. Governess, curled up beside her mistress on the sofa, growled her disapproval, and then returned to her snooze.

  “I’m sorry, I got lost in my own thoughts. What were you saying?”

  Lily shook her head in mock despair. “I asked if you were looking forward to the walk and picnic tomorrow. It’s so kind and thoughtful of Mr Arthur to arrange it, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, it was charming,” said Anna, turning her attention back to her embroidery.

  There was a pause before Lily spoke again.

  “Anna… you do like Mr Arthur, don’t you?”

  She looked up at that comment, raising a brow. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  Lily chewed her lip for a moment. “He isn’t very fashionable, and you’ve always made sure that we both dress in the most current style.”

  “It’s apparently critical to the Ton, so I’m just getting in some practice,” said Anna.

  “But don’t you think it would be much more enjoyable to go to London without having to worry about marriage?” asked Lily, her gaze earnest.

  Anna felt something in her heart plummet. She laid her needlework down carefully, taking a moment to pull her feelings firmly under control.

  “I had not thought about it much,” she said with perfect sincerity. “I only ever thought of Bath as practice for us both before your first Season.”

  “Yes, but things are different now, don’t you think?”

  “In what way?”

  Lily made a small noise of frustration. Governess looked up at her, irritated at having her nap interrupted again.

  “I mean Mr Arthur, and you know I do!”

  Anna met her stepdaughter’s gaze, pleased that she was able to smile. “We were fortunate to meet him.”

  “But do you like him?” she repeated.

  Anna hesitated. She was desperate to talk with someone, anyone, about Arthur. She supposed she could ask Lady Seraphinia directly if she believed moving to Sydney Place had been the wrong path to take, but she could hardly question the Dowager about her ongoing, niggling suspicion that something wasn’t right about Mr Arthur, about the whole situation. After all, Lady Seraphinia – and the Duchess, even! – had vouched for him.

  But one look into Lily’s wide, innocent eyes convinced her that sharing her worries and concerns with her stepdaughter was the wrong thing to do.

  “Yes, I like him very much,” she said. Which was true, of course, if only she could prevent her brain from imagining all sorts of terrible possibilities.

  There was a chance, of course, that she was trying to create problems with Arthur so that she did not have to address her own feelings. That was not something she wished to discuss with her stepdaughter, either.

  Lily gave a great sigh of relief. “I knew you did! Oh, I am so glad, for I very much like him as well.”

  That sick feeling of dread began to turn over in Anna’s stomach again.

  “I’m not surprised, for he has been most amiable toward us.”

  “Much more than that,” said Lily, leaning forward as she spoke. “He’s gone out of his way to make us well known in Town, and to introduce us to new friends. Why, he even remembered we like marchpane and promised to bring it to the picnic without being asked. I own that I do wish he would dress better, but that can be rectified, surely?”

  Anna’s lip kicked up at this. “In my experience, people dislike being pushed to change. It’s better to accept them as they are.”

  “Oh,” said Lily. Her shoulders slumped, but she quickly recovered. “Well, fashion and clothing are just fripperies anyway, it’s much better to be a person of good character and kind temperament, like Papa was – only younger, of course.”

  “Naturally,” said Anna. She placed a hand against her temple as the familiar starts of a headache began to pulse there.

  Lily seemed to be warming to her theme.

  “Not that money matters, for Father left us both so very comfortable, but I do think that he must have a comfortable living, or else he could not afford to keep a phaeton and his horses, let alone put up at the Pelican. And although he is not well connected in London, he is well connected in Bath, through Lady Seraphinia, and Her Grace says he is from an excellent family.”

  “Lily, please tell me you haven’t been asking everyone you know about Mr Arthur,” groaned Anna, her headache getting worse with each passing moment.

  Lily crossed her arms and gave a little huff. “You are the one always telling me it is important to learn if a gentleman is suitable before encouraging his advances!”

  Anna risked a look at Lily. “And have you been encouraging his advances?”

  “Well no, because I wanted to be sure I was right about your opinion of him.”

  Anna couldn’t help but smile at that. “My opinion matters that much to you.”

  “In matters such as this, of course it does!” laughed Anna. “I’m hardly going to encourage a gentleman you would refuse to try his luck, now am I?”

  “I should have known you would be sensible when it came to such things,” said Anna, leaning back in the chair. Her heart could not sink much lower.

  “How could I not be? What I think is secondary to your opinion, at any rate.”

  Anna frowned. “I would not say that, my love. Your heart should always take priority.”

  Lily’s gaze softened. She stood up, much to the chagrin of Governess, and then ran across the room to fling her arms around Anna.

  “How lucky I am to have you!” she said. “I know Father was good to you, but you have never been anything but kind to me, and have always put my interests first.”

  Anna returned the hug, burying her face into Lily’s hair for a moment as she remembered the defiant, stubborn-faced girl she’d met for the first time in a Brighton boarding school, determined to hate her new stepmother.

  And, upon learning that Anna was the reason she was to be allowed home with her beloved Papa, changing her mind and becoming her most devoted supporter.

  “I know I’m too young to be your mother, darling, but I take my duty seriously, and want nothing but your happiness.”

  Lily drew back, her eyes dewy. “And I yours! Oh, promise me that we will never let a marriage come between us!”

  Marriage? Dear Lord, thought Anna. The poor girl is head over heels in love with Arthur!

  “I promise,” she replied, “but I have to make this clear, Lily. There is to be no more talk of marriage to any gentleman until you have had one Season in London.”

  Lily looked shocked. “But-”

  “But nothing,” said Anna as firmly as she could manage. “I have plotted and planned for this Season since you turned fifteen, and nothing is going to take away from my triumph of seeing you take the Ton by Storm.”

  “But…” began Lily, but then laughed as Anna tapped her lightly on the nose. “Oh, very well – I can see you are determined to be my wicked stepmother again. I don’t agree, you know, for I see no reason why a marriage would ruin my Season, but if you are determined, I shall not second-guess you. After all, I did promise to put your feelings above my own!”

  “And I intend to hold you to that on every little issue that every arises between us,” said Anna, forcing a smile. “Pray forgive me, dearest, but I have quite the headache coming on, and wish to retire to my room for an hour.”

  Lily looked alarmed. “Not another one? Shall I fetch some hartshorn for you?”

  “It’s nothing so serious that a nap will not repair it,” promised Anna. She gave Lily a kiss on the cheek, gave Governess a quick scratch behind the ear, and made her way hastily to her room.

  Once alone, there was nothing Anna could do to stop the tears from falling. How ridiculous a situation for both Anna and Lily to show interest in the same man – a man that Anna did not even trust, ninnyhammer that she was.

  “Poor, poor girl,” muttered Anna as she threw herself down onto the b
ed.

  She knew full well that Arthur had shown nothing but avuncular kindness toward Lily, and that for some unknown reason he seemed to prefer Anna to her beautiful stepdaughter. Even if she were confident that Lily was only infatuated by an amusing gentleman that she would no doubt forget as soon as she stepped foot in London, it would hardly be kind, or fair, for Anna to flirt with Arthur right under her stepdaughter’s nose.

  She sighed, her headache growing stronger as she tried, and failed, to think of a way to distance themselves from Arthur when she was still reliant on him to produce the lease for her to sign. And there was no possibility of cancelling the picnic, even if she feigned being sick, for Lily was looking forward to it so much, and would be crushed to miss out on the fun.

  She did not sleep, nor did her headache lessen, but the hour passed and her maid came in to quietly remind her that they were engaged to dine with Her Grace that evening. The crisis of the heart notwithstanding, there were standards to be kept. Anna dressed and prepared to spend the night looking as cheerful and happy as anyone could expect a young widow, newly installed in a fashionable part of Bath, to be.

  Chapter Eleven

  The weather could not have been finer had he ordered it up himself. Arthur looked up at the bright sky, scattered with just enough clouds to provide periodic shade, and nodded with satisfaction.

  His morning had been quite hectic. A quick drive out to Weston had allowed him to reassure himself that the waiters he had hired to provide the picnic lunch were all exceptional individuals, that the local publican at the Old Crown was storing his champagne in the cold cellar, alongside some beers if the gentlemen were so inclined. The string quartet that he had hired were awake, sober, and generously tipped to provide their best ever performance, and there were plenty of high-quality blankets ready for the ladies to sit on while they dined.

  By the time he had returned and made sure his horses and carriage were appropriately taken care of, he had been left with a scant two hours in which to get ready. The staff at the Pelican were kind enough to recommend a half decent barber, who did his best with what he had to work with. The shop had only a limited range of scents available, enough to make Arthur long for D.R. Harris & Company on St James’s back in London but was able to purchase some half decent Freshening Cologne.

  Clothing had been more of a challenge. There was no time to have a decent coat tailored, not if Arthur wished it to be any better than the ones he already had, but it was easy enough to purchase some crisp, white cravats, a new top hat, a walking cane, and most importantly, a fresh pair of boots that had not been ruined by his temporary valet. His shopping completed, he forced himself to endure the tan breeches he’d brought with him, for their fit was tolerable even if they were not a crisp white as he preferred, and the dark blue coat that shrugged over his shoulders well enough, but for some reason known only to his brother, had green silk buttons.

  The waistcoat was best not mentioned nor considered by anyone with aspirations to fashion, but he consoled himself with the knowledge that, so long as his jacket remained firmly buttoned shut, no eyes would be assaulted by the garment’s insane brilliance.

  By the time he had to leave to meet his guests outside the Pump Room, Arthur felt sure that he looked the best he had since arriving in Bath, even if he remained equally relieved that none of his friends or family could see him thus dressed. It would be too much to expect the ladies and gentlemen waiting for him to be overcome by the transformation, but he was gratified by the approving look Lily cast in his direction and hoped that her stepmother felt much the same.

  “Are we all here?” he asked, beaming at the group of people he barely knew. “It is not quite an hour’s walk to Weston if we dawdle the entire way, but if I promise you that champagne and marchpane is awaiting you there, I hope it will encourage us all to enjoy a lively stroll together!”

  There was some laughter at this, and the group, led by Jane, began to make their way out of the city. It was frustratingly difficult to locate Anna in the group, and Arthur quickly wished he had invited fewer people – most of whom were young, and there at the request of Lily.

  Just when he finally saw her, however, he was dismayed to see Trix looping her arm through Anna’s, while Mr Drake chatted away to them both with such a natural comfort that he quickly had them both laughing. It was irrational to feel any kind of jealousy – the man was married, after all! – and yet the stabbing in his chest was acute enough to bring the taste of bile to his mouth.

  “Are you well, Mr Arthur?” came a sweet voice beside him. He turned to see Lily, looking fine as a fivepence in a light blue walking dress and pretty capote bonnet, smiling up at him.

  “Indeed I am, my dear, but it is quite terrifying to be a host and not know how the event shall turn out.”

  “I suspect rather well, considering how happy everyone looks,” said Lily as they began to walk. “There must be a dozen people!”

  He smiled. “Twenty, actually, if you include me.”

  She seemed surprised at this number. “Just for a walk and a picnic? Gosh, I wonder if there will always be this many people when I go on picnics and the like during my Season.”

  He was touched by her naivete. “Rather more, I suspect, for it is not unusual for the leading hostesses of the Ton to invite you to a snug, intimate meal, only for you to turn up and meet fifty others brought to her home for the same purpose.”

  “That sounds almost like a ball,” laughed Lily.

  “Two hundred then, at least,” he replied. “Why Sir Joseph and Lady Putney are famed for their entertainments, and I am sure that I counted upwards of-”

  He stopped abruptly, slamming his mouth shut.

  Lily, however, looked triumphant.

  “I knew it!” she said, her words enthusiastic but uttered so quietly that only Arthur could hear her. “I knew that you have been to London, and I suspect you’ve been to your fair share of Society events as well.”

  He considered lying, but the will to do so drained out of him with one glance over at Anna.

  “What gave me away?”

  “So many little things,” said Lily. “You seemed to know more than you should about the City, and the Ton, and your stories make little sense unless your family was wealthy, or titled, or both, for you would not have got away with such pranks otherwise. Then, of course, you told Anna that your name is Arthur Arthur, although why you thought we would believe that is beyond me.”

  Arthur winced at that memory. “Not buying it?”

  Lily smiled at him. “Not in the least. You see, when father was dying and his relatives kept calling at the house, particularly my odious cousin, I got very adept at knowing who was genuine when they gave me their prayers and wishes, and who was lying. I spent a lot of time with Anna’s sisters, too, and no one can lie as well as a young girl convinced she’s going to get into trouble for borrowing your hair ribbons without permission.”

  He looked down into her face, really appraising her for the first time. He liked Lily and had done so since he first laid eyes upon her, but had somehow underestimated her intelligence because she was young, and adored the ugliest little pug in the world.

  “You are very observant, Lily. I don’t know how I missed it.”

  She laughed at that. “Easy, for I wanted you to miss it, just like everyone else! Not Anna, of course, although for all she worries about how green I am, she seems to forget that she’s not much more worldly wise. Papa told me that he had charged her with my care, but I don’t think she knows that he also charged me to take care of her and ensure that her future became a happy one. Do you intend to propose to her soon?”

  Arthur stumbled, and only his cane saved him from an undignified sprawl in the grass. A few of their fellow walkers looked over and laughed good-naturedly at him.

  “Good God, Miss Clyde! You can’t ask a man such things!”

  “I don’t see why not,” said Lily with a shrug. “It would make you my stepfather, after all, so
I have an interest in the matter. Who are you, if I may ask? Is Arthur your first name?”

  “You are an incorrigible brat,” he told her, wondering how the world would cope if his sister, Helena, and Lily decided to become friends.

  She nodded. “I know. But I suppose it isn’t right for you to tell me who you really are first, under the circumstances. Anna should have that right. May I make a suggestion, though, Mr Arthur?”

  “I have the feeling that you will no matter what I say,” muttered Arthur.

  “Tell her everything first. I know that you must have a good reason for lying to us, and I suspect it was one of your outrageous pranks since Lady Seraphinia and Miss Lindon must be in on it, but it would avoid any possible unpleasantness that may arise if Anna thinks you’ve been bamming her.”

  “Your suggestion is duly noted, Miss Clyde,” he replied. He glanced over at Anna, who chose that moment to look over in his direction. He could not thoroughly read her expression, but there was something in it when her eyes fell on him, and then onto Lily. Sad, despite the smile.

  Lily just giggled and waved to her stepmother. “She’ll want to tell you some things as well, I expect. They are perfectly silly, and Father did not mind in the least, so – well, she must tell you that, I suppose. Now tell me truthfully – is there really marchpane waiting for us at Weston?”

  Arthur’s society manners took over even though his mind was reeling. He kept up the ridiculous small talk with Lily, describing the food and drink he’d ordered with ludicrous embellishments, until he soon had several other walkers gathered about them, laughing as he explained how difficult it had been to procure a roasted phoenix and elephant eggs.

  The rest of the walk passed quickly, and with no incident. The group descended into Weston, and Arthur led them towards the picnic spot, wondering if there was any way to separate Anna from the group for a more private conversation.

  *