by Holly Jaymes
“Sawyer tells me that he has some papers to sign?” she asked Fay who nodded her head, looking nervous.
“Why wasn’t this done earlier?” Susan snapped at her. I stepped in with a smile, the most charming smile I could muster.
“It’s my fault, I kept delaying it, and Ms. Woods has been very patient with me,” I interjected. Susan gritted her teeth like she was frustrated. Her eyes remained narrowed at Fay, till eventually she looked back at me and forced a smile on her face.
“Yes, Fay is extremely thorough,” she said, then turned and walked away from us.
“What are you doing here?” Fay hissed. I knew now that it was a bad idea to come to the studios. I hadn’t thought about how much attention my presence would attract. But I had no other way of getting a hold of her.
“I wanted to talk to you,” I replied, in a low voice.
Fay started walking away, without invitation and I had no other choice but to follow her. She walked through narrow corridors at the back of the show’s stage, until she arrived at a door with her name on it.
When we were in her office, with the door securely shut behind us, Fay finally turned to me. She crossed over her chest defensively.
“What do you want, Sawyer?” the venom in her voice was unmistakable.
“Have I offended you in some way?” I asked.
“Yes, I thought I made it very clear to you, that night three months ago. I told you that we should stay out of each other’s way, but here you are, in my office!” Fay’s voice sizzled.
She looked even more beautiful today, with her cheeks flushed and her pale skin shining. Her dark hair spilled over her shoulders messily. She was wearing a short denim dress with a plaid shirt over it. It was amazing that she could dress so simply and yet stir such deep emotions of desire in me. I didn’t know what it was about Fay that got me going.
“Okay, this is probably not the best place to talk. Maybe we should go for a drink later?” I suggested.
“Absolutely not. It was a one-time thing, Sawyer. It’s over now. I’m sure there are dozens of women, in this studio alone, who would line up to go for a drink with you,” Fay looked determined as she spoke, keeping her chin up.
How was I supposed to explain to her that I didn’t want just any woman? I wanted her,
“I don’t mean that we have to have sex, but if that is a by-product of a drink, I won’t be complaining,” I said with a grin, but Fay wasn’t smiling. None of this was funny to her.
“Why are you asking me out again, Sawyer? I thought you figured it out by now, that I’m not your biggest fan,” she stated, narrowing her eyes threateningly at me.
“Because I want to prove you wrong. You’re wrong about me, Fay Woods. I’m not the pig-headed jerk you think I am,” I calmly replied as she scoffed.
“What do you care what I think about you? So, you have one person in this whole city who sees through your fake charm. So what? Just move on. You have thousands of others who love everything you do,” she snapped, rolling her eyes.
“I do care what you think of me.”
“Why?”
“Let’s go for a drink so we can talk about it,” I insisted. Fay threw her arms down in frustration. I hoped that she was going to give in, but instead, she walked to the door of her office and held it open.
“I think you should go,” she said, refusing to meet my eyes.
“You’re overreacting…” I began to say, but then she looked directly at me.
“Please,” she added, in a quivering voice.
I could sense something was wrong. She wasn’t just angry and annoyed with me. She was also sad.
I gulped, nodded my head and then walked past her, out of her office.
“I would like it if you’d explain your problem to me,” I tried again, turning to her, but she was already shutting the door behind me.
“There is nothing to explain. It has to end here,” I heard her say. Then I was standing, facing her door that seemed like a soldier standing between us.
I stared at the empty white door for a few moments, before I turned on my heels and walked away. Just before I was leaving, I saw Susan sitting on a high chair, with a group of people flocking around her.
“All done!” I called out to her and waved a hand. She didn’t wave back at me. In fact, she looked like she didn’t like me much anymore either.
I could sense that something was going on.
Fay
Two weeks later, and I was back at St Xavier’s Hospital again, just like Doctor Roberts had asked. I knew I was taking another risk, but this time, I didn’t dress up in a ridiculous getup to protect my identity. If Sawyer saw me here, there was nothing I could do about it. There was no rule stating that I couldn’t be at the hospital at the same time as him.
I saw Doctor Roberts without any complication, and she gave me a clean bill of health. Mother and baby were doing fine. I was feeling elated as I stepped out of her office.
This time, there was no Sawyer Barnhart in sight, but I couldn’t get rid of that itching need to see him again.
I wanted to see him. I wanted to feel that rush of adrenaline which I always got when we were face to face. I knew that I’d ended things firmly with him. I was sure that I’d offended and insulted him for good this time. But how could I leave this hospital, when I was so close to him, without seeing him once more?
I took the elevator up to the cardiology floor, carrying my heart in my hand. There was a rumbling in my stomach, almost like my baby knew that I was getting closer to its father. I was nervous and excited both, at the thought of laying my eyes on him again.
I stepped out.
The floor didn’t look very different from the OBGYN floor, so I found my way to the waiting area easily. Sawyer’s name stood out in bold on his door. I blushed as I remembered that day when he’d carried me in his arms to his office.
The door was closed, and I wondered if he was inside or in an operating room somewhere. I didn’t know what I was expecting or what I wanted. I just felt like I needed to be close to him, to feel his presence.
The waiting area had a few people sitting on the seats, presumably waiting to be seen by one of the cardiologists on the floor. As I looked around, the door to Sawyer’s office opened.
I panicked. Once again, I had no idea what I would do if I came face to face with him. It was too late to run away. My feet were frozen to the spot anyway.
The only thing I could do was sit down. There was a plastic chair right beside me, so I plopped myself on it. This way my back was to the door and my only hope was that he wouldn’t walk past me or that he wouldn’t recognize the back of my head. The only problem was that I was dangerously close to the door. I was close enough to hear his voice and feel his presence.
There were some people with him, I sensed.
“Thank you, Doctor,” a woman’s voice.
I rolled my eyes, here comes the shower of praises for the sexy doctor!
“Will I be okay, Doctor Barnhart?” the sound of a child’s voice surprised me. I hadn’t thought about how Sawyer must be working with children too.
“Maisy, we spoke about this inside, honey,” the woman spoke again.
“That’s okay,” it was Sawyer who spoke. He sounded different, less arrogant, actually human. I could sense that he was talking directly to the little girl now.
“You trust me, don’t you, Maisy? I'm going to do my best to make you feel better.” Sawyer continued. I could feel my body stiffening. There was compassion and softness in Sawyer’s voice as he spoke now.
“I trust you, Doctor Barnhart,” the little girl said.
“Good. I’m going to make sure that you’re as right as rain in no time,” Sawyer replied, and without looking, I knew that the girl had thrown her arms around him. They were hugging.
I could feel my eyes filling with water. I didn’t know why I felt so moved. It wasn’t like I wasn’t aware that children got sick all the time, with serious illnesses. I’d ju
st never felt it so personally. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was pregnant. I could sympathize with what the girl’s mother might be feeling right now. Perhaps it was the way Sawyer had spoken. I could hear the fear and sadness in his voice.
I hadn’t thought about how hard this job must be for him. It must be so hard to see innocent people, kids like this girl, suffer and sometimes lose the battle against their own bodies.
I tried not to sniffle, not to draw attention to myself.
“Doctor, thank you for everything you’re doing for us,” I heard the woman whisper. Her voice was soft enough for me to grasp the words barely. The other people in the waiting room couldn’t understand because they were farther away.
“Please don’t mention it, Mrs. Murphy. I want to see Maisy well and back to school,” Sawyer replied.
“I don’t know how we can ever repay you. I will find a way. I promise, doctor, even if it takes my whole life to save the money,” the woman was still whispering. I could hear the tears in her voice.
“Mrs. Murphy, please, it’s all settled. I’ve told you, I don’t want you to pay me back,” Sawyer’s voice was a whisper too.
“Doctor Barnhart, mommy’s throwing me a party tomorrow, before the surgery. Will you come?” the girl interjected.
“Maisy, stop troubling the doctor!” her mother scolded half-heartedly.
I couldn’t listen to this anymore. It was breaking my heart. The only way that I was still sane was because I believed that Sawyer was a lousy doctor and that he didn’t deserve any of the praises he received.
I needed to get out of there.
Sawyer
Attending a patient’s birthday party was strictly against the rules. I knew that it would be ethically wrong for me to get involved in a patient’s personal life, but then again, I’d slept with women in my patients’ families before. I had ignored all of the rules in every rulebook. I wasn’t exactly a saint.
Also, there was no way that I was about to break Maisy’s heart.
I crouched down in front of her, smiling into her sweet little face.
“I won’t miss it,” I told her and watched as her face beamed sunshine.
In the next instance, there was a loud crashing sound. I looked up to find that someone had knocked themselves into a trolley carrying medical equipment. I saw the woman fall to the ground and I jumped up rushing to her.
It was Fay. She was on the floor, on her back, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
“What the…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I was helping her up. She accepted the hand I offered her. When she was standing again, she brushed her skirt down, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Fay? What are you doing here?” she was rushing away from me again.
“Mrs. Murphy, I’ll be back,” I said to the family over my shoulder.
Fay was clutching her purse to her stomach and walking away in a hurry. This was the second time she had just appeared in the hospital out of the blue, and this time, she was on the cardiology floor. My floor! How many coincidences was I supposed to excuse?
“Fay. Stop!” I growled.
She must have heard the anger and frustration in my voice because she did stop and slowly turned to look at me.
“Firstly, are you okay? You had quite the fall,” I asked her.
She seemed flustered about something. I had gotten used to defending myself against her anger. But today, she seemed nervous, almost apologetic.
“Yeah, I’m fine. It was nothing. Just a knock,” she replied, tucking strands of her loose dark hair behind her ears. She looked lovely in her black skater skirt and t-shirt, with a denim shirt thrown on top. She was wearing canvas shoes. Simple and understated beauty. I was falling for her more, every time I saw her.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Nothing. I wasn’t doing anything. I think I got lost. I’m not supposed to be on this floor,” she was flummoxed. She wasn’t in control of herself. I wanted to know what the cause of that was.
I took a step towards her, and she clutched her purse tighter.
“Sawyer, I’m sorry for causing a scene on your floor. I should go, you’re busy,” she wasn’t being aggressive today, which was even more confusing for me.
“Fay, something is going on, and you need to tell me what. Why are you in the hospital again? Are you okay? I can help!” I was pleading with her. I was genuinely worried, but she shook her head.
“I’m fine, and seriously, there is nothing wrong with me. I’m in the hospital for my friend. I came to see her as I told you,” she was backing away from me down the hall as she spoke.
“That was two weeks ago, Fay. Nobody is admitted here for that long for a simple appendicitis procedure. What is going on?” I charged at her, but she was still shaking her head.
“I have to go. I have to go,” she kept repeating.
I let her go. I didn’t chase after her this time. She turned from me and rushed to the elevators and got in the moment it arrived. She kept her face firmly ahead, avoiding looking at me again.
I wasn’t buying her excuses this time. I knew there was something up and I was determined to get to the bottom of this.
First, I went and spoke to Mrs. Murphy and Maisy again, promising Maisy that I would attend her birthday party the next evening. After they left, I went down to the reception desk and asked to see the visitor’s records.
Fay had not signed into the hospital. In fact, when I dug a little deeper, I found that there was no record of any Samantha, who was admitted to the hospital in the past three weeks for Appendicitis. It was all a lie. I should have known from the start that Fay was hiding something.
Racking my brain, I remembered that the last time I’d seen her here was on the OBGYN floor, so that’s where I went.
The head nurse, a middle-aged lady, called Nora, had always been on good terms with me. She was a bit of a flirt, but so was I.
“Hey, Nora, what happened to those cookies you offered me this morning? Any left?” I leaned over her counter with my arms folded. Nora looked up, satisfied with the attention she was getting.
“Saved you some,” she smiled and slipped out a box of cookies from her desk drawer. I took one and ate it happily.
“Question for you, do you have any records for a Fay Woods?” I asked her, and she looked at me over her glasses.
“Doctor Barnhart, why are you asking me? You know about patient confidentiality don’t you?” she was grinning as she spoke and I smiled back at her.
“Of course, only, she’s my patient too, and I was wondering if you have any Gynecology records of her that I can look at, for medical history,” I replied. Nora didn’t seem convinced, but she looked through her computer anyway.
“Yeah, she’s Doctor Roberts’ patient. She came to see her today. If you want her records or any more information, you’ll have to speak to the doctor yourself. You know I can’t help you, even though I want to,” Nora talked to me indulgently, and I nodded.
“Thanks, Nora, that’s all I needed. You’re a star.”
With that, I went to Doctor Roberts’ chambers and knocked on her door. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say. Fay could have been in for a routine checkup with her gynecologist. There was nothing suspicious about that, but I had a feeling that Fay was hiding something important from me.
Doctor Roberts was on her lunch break. She had a sandwich in hand when she opened the door.
“Doctor Barnhart! How can I help you?” she asked and I stepped into her office before she could turn me away. I shut the door. She crossed her brows, detecting that there was something serious going on.
“Fay Woods, she’s your patient right?” I asked, getting to the point.
Doctor Roberts put her half-eaten sandwich down on her desk and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Yes, she is indeed, what is this about?” she asked as I breathed in, squaring my shoulders.
“Why was she here today? I need to know if she is okay,�
�� I told her. Doctor Roberts searched my eyes. Then she shook her head. I could see her nostrils flaring.
“You know I can’t give out any information without the patient’s consent. How are you related?”
I clenched my jaws. Doctor Roberts and I weren’t exactly friends. We were just acquaintances.
“We’re not related. I’m a friend. I know her. I’m concerned for her health,” I explained.
“Why don’t you ask her yourself, Doctor Barnhart?” she asked, tipping her head to one side.
“I did. She refuses to tell me, and I know something’s up. I've seen her here twice in two weeks. ” I said.
Doctor Roberts was watching me closely, thinking about something.
“Doctor, excuse me if this is a personal question. How exactly do you know Fay? Were you two ever involved?” she asked.
My body stiffened, I was suspicious with this line of questioning. I wasn’t embarrassed to admit that we had slept together. I just wasn’t sure why Doctor Roberts was asking me this question.
“Yes, we were, and I’m worried for her,” I replied.
She breathed in harshly and then chewed on her lip.
“I really can’t help you, Doctor Barnhart, you will have to speak to Fay yourself,” she said, turning away from me.
“Please just tell me if it’s something serious!” I barked.
“She’s fine,” the doctor replied, sitting down on her chair.
I gulped, staring at the lady, willing her to tell me what I needed to hear.
“Is she, is she?” I couldn’t get the words out.
Doctor Roberts stared at me silently, and then she gave a gentle nod, barely visible.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, Doctor, I have patients waiting who I need to see,” she said curtly.
I turned on my heels and barged through the door.
Was I sure? What did Doctor Roberts mean? I couldn’t think straight. That could mean anything. How could I know for sure that I was the only man Fay had slept with in the past few months?