by Holly Jaymes
I needed to find her, and this time, I wasn’t letting her run away from me.
Fay
I knew I’d messed it up. I’d seen it in Sawyer’s eyes, he saw through my feeble excuses. He knew something was up.
I couldn’t go back to the studios after visiting the hospital, I drove back to my apartment and kept myself locked in there for the rest of the evening. Even at home, I couldn’t stay sitting in one place, waiting to feel normal again.
Instead, I was pacing around the house, trying to make sense of what I was feeling. Overhearing that conversation between Sawyer and the little girl and her mother had done something to me. I could feel the walls crumbling down around me.
Why couldn’t I go back to hating him?
But the truth was, that I stopped hating him from the moment I met him in person. Not only was he charming and utterly handsome, but he was also kind. He wanted me to see the other side of him. The version of him that wasn’t visible to the camera, and I consistently fought against him.
I couldn’t stand still. I walked every room in my small apartment. I was trying to tidy up, trying to keep my mind distracted but nothing was working. I couldn’t stop thinking about Sawyer and how I’d messed everything up.
I knew now that he would make a great father, and that he would be a caring and gentle father to my child. It was just too late. I couldn’t tell him now, not after I’d resisted him for so long!
The bell rang, and I went to the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone.
When I looked through the peephole, I nearly cried out in shock. Was it Sawyer on the other side or was my mind playing tricks on me?
He banged on the door next, startling me.
“Fay! I know you’re in there. I saw your car downstairs!” I could hear his muffled voice.
Afraid of causing a scene for all of my neighbors to witness, I reluctantly opened the door. Sawyer charged into my apartment before I could even ask him what he was doing here.
I shut the door, following him into my small living room.
He wasn’t in a suit today, just regular jeans and a casual checked shirt. He was still handsome, with his blond hair brushed back, his green eyes roaming all over me and his jaw strong and square. God! He could shovel snow with that thing.
“Sawyer, how did you find my address?” my voice was weak as I spoke. I could barely keep standing.
“Does it matter?” he asked, peering into my eyes.
He looked angry now. Our roles had reversed. Even though his face was darkened and his eyes were narrowed at me; I wasn’t afraid of him. I could sense that he didn’t have a single violent bone in his body.
“I’m going to give you one chance to tell me what is going on. Why you were there at the hospital?” he growled.
My throat was dry. There was barely any air in my lungs. I didn’t want to tell him. I couldn’t tell him. All this was happening too fast. It was my fault! I shouldn’t have gone up to the cardiology floor. I should have resisted the temptation to see him again!
“Fay, come on, throw me a bone here!” he raged, looking frustrated.
“Sawyer, I’m sorry,” I said meekly, finding an inkling of a voice in me now.
“What are you sorry for, Fay? What the Hell is going on?” he continued to bark, running a hand through his thick hair.
“I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted with you, the things I’ve said. I know I’ve been insensitive, too quick to judge,” when the words came out, it seemed that Sawyer was more shocked by them than happy. He was staring at me, trying to figure out if I meant what I was saying.
“Why are you telling me this now?” he asked, in a low rumbling grunt. I tried swallowing my pride.
“Because I’ve realized that I misjudged you and I want to apologize for my behavior,” I replied.
I couldn’t look at him anymore, I turned my face away from him, but I sensed him inching closer to me.
“Yes, you have, and I’m glad that you recognize it, but what’s happened to change your mind about me?” he insisted. With a quivering lip, I looked back at him, forcing myself to keep my calm.
“Nothing”
“Fay, stop lying to me!” he roared.
“I’m not lying. I’ve just had this, this feeling since we last met. I don’t have any right to pass judgment on you when I’m not in your shoes,” I murmured, but Sawyer wasn’t buying anything I was saying.
“What happened? You’re hiding something!” he growled, taking long strides closer to me.
“Nothing. I don’t want to be bitter towards you anymore. That’s all!” I said, raising my voice, hoping to convince him with my confidence, but I was shaking all over. He could easily see that I was nervous.
He was directly in front of me now. I had to crane my neck to look up at him. His intense, expressive eyes seemed to be burning a hole in my brain.
When he gripped me by my arms, I could feel the strength and the pressure of him on my body.
“Fay, this is your chance to tell me the truth,” he said now, in a lower, less aggressive voice.
I shook my head.
“What truth? What are you talking about?” I whispered. I was determined. I wasn’t going to tell him. He was going to leave my apartment and then hopefully would be out of my life. He wouldn’t want this baby. I would ruin his life if I told him.
“Fay, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night, since you were in my penthouse,” he said.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I didn’t expect those words. Sawyer Barnhart wasn’t the kind of man who had feelings. He had one-night stands with beautiful women.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I whispered. He was holding me at a distance from his body, peering into my eyes, like he was searching my soul.
“I mean that I think I’ve fallen for you. I know it sounds ridiculous but what else could it be? After three months, I can’t seem to get you out of my head,” he explained, in that same deep calm voice.
I was shocked. I felt like the floor was undulating with waves. I felt like I would wobble to the floor if he released me. He was echoing my thoughts. That was how I felt these past three months too. I’d just never admitted it to myself.
Sawyer gulped.
“I understand that this is a surprise. It was supposed to be a one-night no-strings-attached moment of passion, but I don’t think I’ve met anyone like you. Nobody is as weird and strong and beautiful as you, Fay Woods, and I’m sorry for saying that,” Sawyer finished talking. When he did, he slowly released his grip on my arms.
I swayed when he stepped away from me, barely able to keep my feet on the floor. I hadn’t been able to say anything to him yet. I was still reeling from the shock.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me the truth, Fay. That’s your decision. I just wanted you to know how I feel about you. I can’t help it,” he said.
We were staring at each other. Words, my voice, my thoughts, everything defied me. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, none of this seemed real.
He was about to turn away when I lunged at him.
I caught him by surprise, but Sawyer didn’t have a chance to say anything. My mouth was already on him. When he felt the softness of my lips, his hands flew up to my hips. He pulled me closer. My body was pressed up against his chest.
We were hungry for each other, starved of each other’s bodies for three months. Sawyer’s tongue slid down my mouth, and I could taste him. My heart was sinking. I was melting in his arms, and that familiar tightening erupted in my stomach again.
Why did I deny myself? Nobody else made me feel the way Sawyer Barnhart did. Why did I punish myself for wanting him?
I kissed him ferociously. My hands were everywhere on him; on his shirt, on the front of his pants. I wanted those clothes off! I wanted to see him again. I wanted to see his beautiful chiseled body.
Sawyer peeled me off him, clutching my cheeks in his hands.
“Don’t start something you won’t follow t
hrough, Fay,” he growled. It was a warning.
I met his gaze confidently. I’d made up my mind. I wasn’t going to suffer anymore.
“I want you,” I whispered.
Sawyer seemed to hesitate, but just for a moment. It was like he was trying to work out if we should have sex at all. He was deciding if it was a good idea.
Then, in the next instance, he threw caution to the wind and lifted me up by my waist. While he carried me to the couch, I bent my head over him, taking his mouth in mine again. Sawyer kissed me back, more gently this time, like he knew that he was the father of my child. Fear gripped me. Did he know?
He would have said so, wouldn’t he?
I tried to forget about who he was or that I was carrying his baby. Instead, I focused on the way he was making me feel, and how good it felt to be in his arms again.
Then, I was on the couch. He laid me down on my back. I gazed up at him while he unbuttoned his shirt.
I pulled down my skirt, then my t-shirt and now I was in nothing but my underwear. There was a slight bump on my belly. I was beginning to show, but I figured that since Sawyer had seen me naked just once before, he wouldn’t notice the difference now.
His shirt was off, so was his belt. His jeans hung loosely from his hips now as he stood over me. His chiseled body, the tattoo on his arm, everything on display. I reached up, grazing my fingers along the ridges and cuts of his abs and his flat abdomen. He looked powerful, with his shoulders heaving, his eyes filled with raw desire.
My panties were soaking wet already. I had entirely given in to my desire. I wasn’t going to hold back. He was allowed to do whatever he wanted with my body. He owned me anyway. Even if Sawyer didn’t know it, we would have a connection to each other for the rest of our lives.
He lowered himself, kneeling on the rug. His hands were on my legs, slowly, like he was a potter and I was clay…he explored my trembling body with his fingers. My thighs quivered when he reached the insides, slowly traveling up towards the secret spot between my legs.
I couldn’t stop staring at him. I couldn’t stop wondering if he meant all those things he said. Was he falling for me? Did we feel the same way about each other? It sounded crazy.
“You’re beautiful, Fay, so insanely beautiful that it hurts me,” he groaned, as his fingers found my pussy. He could feel how wet I was, how my clit throbbed and swelled under his fingers. He was stroking me, enjoying the effect he had on my body.
I was panting hard, barely able to lay still while he examined me. His eyes roamed over every inch. He saw every freckle on my shoulders and the goosebumps on my arm.
Then he stood up. I watched, my breath caught in my throat, as he took off his jeans.
I remembered that cock well. I saw it again, hanging big and strong between his legs now. He was about to bend down to me, but I stopped him, placing a hand on his chest.
He owned me. He’d put a baby in me! Now, it was my turn to feel powerful. It was my turn to feel the control I had over him and his body.
Sawyer’s brows crossed as he looked down at me. I sat up, kneeling on the couch, at the edge, right in front of him.
“Fay…” he said my name softly. I looked up at him, a smile dancing on my lips.
I held his cock in my hands, both hands. I could feel it throbbing, growing harder and more powerful with every passing second. I licked my lips, holding his gaze.
“I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time,” I said huskily. Sawyer clenched his jaws.
His hands were in my hair, pushing all the stray strands back and then he bunched it up. I sensed that he wanted to see me while my mouth clasped around his raging cock.
He grunted, my tongue slid over the smooth tip of him. He tightened his grip on my hair. He was too big for me, I was struggling to wrap my lips around his cock completely, but I was determined.
My throat relaxed, while I pushed him deeper down my mouth. He was heavy and hard. I could taste his saltiness on my tongue. It was like a drug. I was on a high. The louder Sawyer grunted, the deeper I pushed him down my throat.
Then I slid him out, gasping for air. I looked up at him. His eyes were dark. He was in a daze too. He couldn’t drag his eyes away from my mouth.
I stroked his cock, up and down its length before I wrapped my lips around it again. This time he threw his head back. I saw him press his eyes closed. He was holding me by my hair, and then he started hammering. He was fucking my mouth. I could feel his cock diving in and out of my throat, filling me up, stretching every muscle of my mouth and throat.
I reached for his balls, gently squeezing them and his groaning became louder, wilder. I felt powerful now. I was in control. He was the one that was putty in my hands.
My pussy throbbed, wet and raged for fulfillment. I forced myself to wait, just a little longer, till he was on edge and he had no choice but to enter me and burst.
I stopped the motions of my tongue over his cock when I sensed his body jerking. I moved my head away from him and looked up with a smile. I could see he was trying to hold back, brimming with the loss of control.
“What are you doing to me!” he growled and grabbing my shoulders, he whipped me around.
I was on my knees. My hands on the back of the couch and my ass was protruding out towards him. I reached for my pussy, to experience what it felt like now. My soaking panties were hot, and then I felt him peeling them down. They gathered near my knees. He undid my bra, and my breasts swung into view.
I could sense his strong muscular presence behind me. His hand reached for my breast, which he squeezed, rolling the pink sensitive nipple between his fingers. I gasped and moved my hips too, feeling the burning ache at the pit of my stomach. He wasn’t the only one who was on the edge of control.
With one hand still on my breast, his other hand came down on my ass. He was spanking me, and I liked it. My body shuddered with each loud slap. My skin stung with the force of his spanks. I held still, keeping my ass out towards him so that he knew what I liked. I wanted more.
Sawyer’s hands moved over my naked body, while I stared at the wall behind the couch. I tried not to think about what was going to happen next. Here I was, in the same position that got me pregnant in the first place; with the same man.
Doctor Roberts’ and Susan’s voices whirled around in my head. He had a right to know. My baby deserved to have its father in its life.
Then Sawyer’s cock softly grazed my folds. I couldn’t think of anything logical. I couldn’t focus on the real world. All that mattered was our bodies.
I could sense him holding his cock with one hand, while his other hand gripped my waist, pinning me down on the couch the way he wanted me.
I rolled my hips again, waving my ass at him like a flag of surrender. His cock grazed my pussy once more. I gasped. I pressed my eyes closed, picturing his long thick cock, slowly entering my pussy.
But first, he was teasing my swollen clit, slowly bringing me to the edge of my orgasm before he’d even started. His cock felt rough and powerful against my clit. I moaned and cried out his name, forgetting myself completely.
“Good girl,” I heard him grumble under his breath before just like that, with no warning, his cock was inside me.
I gasped, my body was pushed forward with force. I felt like I was blossoming anew. I felt every inch of his cock driving inside me. I could feel the friction against the walls of my pussy, the tip of him stroking that spot inside me that would get the wheels turning.
His hands reached for my hair again, wrapping it around his palm. He was holding on to me like reigns on a horse while he rode me. I could hear the slap of our bodies as we knocked against each other. My ass was flat up against his abdomen, against his ripped muscles. His cock thrust in and out of me, accompanied by the groans and growls of him.
I was soaring. I felt like I was flying somewhere up near the ceiling as my body gave in to his command. My power over him had only lasted a few minutes. Now the roles were reversed agai
n. He was my master, and I had given myself to him. He was the father of my child, and now I could admit it to myself, that I was happy.
My orgasm washed over me, like an ocean. I didn’t fight it. My toes curled, and I dug my nails into the back of the couch. His cock was too big. I was too full of him to escape. I came. My juices were flooding over his cock while he continued to ram himself into me.
Sawyer came just moments after I started. I felt that familiar shooting of his seed inside me. He emptied himself, in jerks and grunts and this time I wasn’t afraid or ashamed.
We were coming together like we were a part of one body. My sighs and moans went along with his grunts and groans while he kept riding me hard.
It was only when I stopped moaning, that he began to slow the thrusts. He had emptied himself inside me completely. I felt like I was full to the brim with him.
Sawyer released his grip on my hair and slowly moved away from the couch. My panting was loud in my ears. Then I could hear him panting too.
Now after I’d come, the fog started to clear. I felt like I could finally think again. I felt panic creeping up on me. I remembered the things Sawyer had said, just moments before I’d thrown myself at him.
He told me he had feelings for me.
I was keeping a secret from him, probably the biggest secret I could have.
I was guilty, and nervous about looking at him. I was afraid he would be able to see the truth in my eyes.
“Fay…” he breathed my name, in a low whisper. I licked my lips. I could still feel the sticky wetness of both our cum between my thighs.
Gulping, I turned to him. Sawyer was standing, his neck red and his face still dark, looking at me expectantly. What did he expect from me? What more did he want?
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, sounding concerned.
Why was he concerned? He hadn’t asked me this the last time we had sex. My heart slammed against my chest. He knew.
Sawyer
“Yes, I’m fine,” Fay replied, and that look of nervousness had returned to her eyes. She got off quickly from the couch, pulling up her panties before she started collecting the clothes off the floor.