The Lies of Pride

by Lily Zante

  No more night school, she says. It was her decision.

  We sometimes meet at the diner, because Frankie has allocated us a table far in the corner, and she puts out those ‘Cleaning in progress’ boards which keep everyone away from us.

  But we sometimes go out in disguise, Nina too now, since she’s become known as my girlfriend, and not just as Elias’s sister.

  We’ve managed to do the Chicago Riverwalk and eat outside, and sometimes we’ll hang out in my hotel suite, like we’re doing tonight.

  There’s a knock on my door while I'm in the middle of making dinner. I smirk, because it’s Nina and she will roll her eyes when she sees that I'm cooking. She once suggested making dinner for me here in my suite and I laughed at her.

  The reason I'm doing this is because I want to pamper her. I want to make this evening be about her. She's so used to deflecting conversations and I don't want the interruptions or distractions that being outside offers.

  I want Nina to myself, alone, so that she has the freedom and privacy to talk about whatever is on her mind.

  I want for her to get that stuff out of her head. I want only good things for her.

  So this is my way of creating a little safe haven for her, in my suite where I cook and she talks.

  I open the door and she walks in, but there's a fire in her eyes.

  Puzzled, I slide my arms around her and kiss her deeply.

  “I've got something for you,” she says, taking my hand and leading me towards the sofa.

  I don't know what to think. Being a red-blooded man, it occurs to me that we might make out on the sofa for a while. But when she opens her bag and pulls something out, then holds it within an inch of my line of sight, I feel the air get sucked right out of my lungs. Ben's smiling face and his twinkling eyes make me gasp.

  She has the photo I thought I had lost forever. I well up as I take hold of it.

  “How?” is the only word I can manage to say.

  I can't take my eyes of the picture. Of course, I have others of him, but this one, this is priceless.

  She sits down next to me and clings to my arm, nestling her head on my shoulder so that we are both looking at a moment in time caught so many lifetimes ago; when I had a younger brother, and before Hollywood beckoned.

  “Dottie got a call from the police station”, Nina explains. It happened while she and Dottie were meeting for coffee one day.

  She goes on to tell me how the police had managed to track down the guys who had mugged me, and they had raided the place where they were shacked up. Turns out they found a whole heap of stolen goods.

  “They found this,” she pulls out my wallet and hands that to me. “But there was nothing in it apart from this photo and a few scraps of paper. They're still in there. One had Dottie's number on it.”

  I don't even bother opening my wallet because the only thing of value in it is now in my hand.

  I turn to her. “I never thought I'd see this again.”

  She kisses my shoulder. “I know what it meant to you. When Dottie said she was going to the police station, I went along. We looked through boxes of stuff before we found your wallet.”

  I leave a soft kiss on her lips. “Thank you.”

  “Don't thank me, thank Dottie.”

  I kiss her again, feeling thankful. It feels as if I've come full circle since the night I lost this. Now I have the things that neither money nor fame can buy. Important things like love and gratitude.

  * * *

  NINA

  * * *

  We didn’t go to the mountains with Elias and Harper, even though Harper was keen for us to go. She seems to have her heart set on us being a foursome.

  I told her we could hang out when they came back. Callum and I needed some time on our own, getting to know one another better.

  When I get to his place, there are flowers in so many vases all around the living room and in the bedroom, as I find out later. He’s lit candles all around the balcony.

  And that’s where we go, at first.

  We talked about this before. About my first time. My first proper time.

  Callum wanted for us to go away, somewhere hot and exotic. I didn’t want to make such a big deal of it even though he has gone to great pains to want to put my bad experiences behind me.

  Though we’ve made out a lot, and done a lot of intimate things, we haven’t done that.

  I’m the one who is impatient, but I also don’t want or need any fancy things. Yet he has made tonight fancy for me, even here in his hotel suite. Flowers and candles grace the place. It’s the thoughtfulness that touches me. The candles on the balcony, the scent of lavender and jasmine everywhere. Flames flickering in the dark of the night.

  “Hey,” he comes up behind me, and leaves a flurry of kisses along my neck. I tilt my head and sigh with pleasure.

  His mouth grazes gently along my shoulder. I’m wearing a Bardot off the shoulder dress and my best underwear, and I’m feeling confident. I toss my hair to one side so that he can kiss me all over my neck and shoulders without anything getting in his way.

  His tender lips put me at ease. My body loosens, and I lean back against him. My back to his chest. His hardness so evident as he presses against my hips. And so it begins, the excruciatingly slow build up in my belly, a flutter of excitement as arousal curls its way around my body. He sucks my earlobe, and his hand lowers to below my navel, and he’s about to touch me there, when he spins me around. A sensual fog begins to cloud my brain. His fingers rub gently over my dress, over my panties, in the place where I hunger for him to touch me the most. I let out a mewl as he captures my mouth with his and his tongue slips deeper into my mouth. Real kissing, deep, sexy, slow, wet kissing—this is all I have survived on for weeks, that and his fingers exploring me. Mine exploring him.

  Tonight I want it all. Tongues dueling, hearts crashing, his fingers snake through the buttons of my dress and find a way past my panties, I squeeze my legs and groan as his thumb slides over my clit. This is exquisite pleasure, that I have come to expect from him.

  He breaks our kiss. “You let me know when you’re ready.”

  “I’m ready.”

  “You sure you want to do this?”

  He is so careful, so attentive, so not wanting to do anything wrong. So aware of what I have been through. He won’t understand in words. With a newfound confidence, I take his hand and lead the way to his bedroom.

  There are no candles here, but the room is awash with flowers and a few low light lamps. It’s the perfect blend of sexiness and sensual. With a tap of my toe, I shut the door, then, not wanting to waste time, I reach down for the hem of my dress and pull it over my head, flinging it to the floor.

  Callum looks at me as if I’m the only woman in the world, and now that my boldness has brought me here into his bedroom, it vanishes.

  I don’t know what to do.

  He takes a step closer, lowers his head then brushes his soft, velvet lips over my nose, my cheeks, my mouth. I tremble with anticipation, my breaths quickening, the nerves in my body zinging with his electric touch. “Is this okay?” he whispers, his hot breath caressing my skin. Every touch, every kiss, every breath of his electrifies me.

  I reach for the zipper of his pants and lower it just as he unbuttons his shirt and throws it off. Climbing out of his jeans, it feels as if we’ve crossed some sort of milestone, we’ve been here before, but this is different. Concern in his eyes tells me he’s still being cautious.

  “I need you inside me,” I whisper, letting my hands roam over his bare chest. I have come to know every bare inch of his muscles, the ridges and contours of his abs, but there are parts of him I’ve never seen before.

  We kiss again, not kiss so much as melt into one another, his mouth claiming mine with a new intensity. I’m guessing that he’s had to learn to hold back with me, but now given permission, his pent up frustration is finally on the way to release. We kiss, long and hard, and then my breasts are sudden
ly free. He tosses off my bra and I didn’t even feel him unclasp it.

  Pushing me onto the bed, his fingers hook into the sides of my panties. I school myself to breathe, because my breath hitches in my throat so much, each silky touch, each wet, sensual kiss, opens me up even more. When he pulls them down the length of my legs, I blush, but he probably doesn’t realize in this light.

  He’s never seen me naked, not completely. Nor I him.

  I husk out a breath because I feel his body heat, his intention, his closeness. He stands up and takes off his boxers, and just as I gaze at this new unveiling, just as I start to lick my lips, needing him, he drops to his knees and pushes his tongue inside me. It’s so fast it takes me by surprise. I arch off the bed.

  I came so hard when he did this before, but this is too fast, too sudden. I’m going to come right now.

  “Breathe,” he says, kissing my folds, sliding his fingers over my clit. I suck in a breath feeling a million nerves dancing for joy in that one tiny bud he’s stopped touching.

  “Breathe,” he coaches me.

  I obey, because I want his lips back, I want his fingers back.

  He rewards me, pumping his fingers inside me again as I struggle to contain myself. I cry out his name, and he stops.

  This is beautiful torture.

  “Please,” I beg, and he obliges by brushing his lips over me before sucking my clit.

  I’m going to come. Hard.

  As I begin to pant heavily, he moves up on the bed. I was almost on the verge of coming when he stopped, now I’m lying spread-eagled as his dark eyes watch me intensely. He rolls a condom over himself, and I feel my heart miss a beat. Lowering himself on me, his bare skin caresses mine. We are hot and sweaty, and I have never been so ready, have never so badly wanted this as I do now.

  “Nina.” His voice is tender as he fixes me with a look that makes me melt. His gaze is so intense I think he could stare at me and lie naked on top of me and that would be enough.

  “Do you want me?”

  “I. Want. You.” I pant because he is tempting mercilessly with his cock poised at my entrance, yet he doesn’t move. My desperation drives me insane. I lift up, my pussy teasing him, needing him, begging him. He glides in slowly, then takes my hand in his, our fingers wrapping around as he pushes in deeper. With my eyes locked on his, I find myself falling deeper into him as he slides deeper into me.

  This is beautiful. A soul connection, not just a physical one.

  I moan as his mouth drops to my breast and he sucks hard. He gets into a slow rhythm with his thrusts, sliding in and out with a slow measured torturous pace. Each time he pushes in, I groan, drenched in pleasure, my arousal peaking higher and higher.

  I claw his buttocks, then wrap my legs around him instinctively, as if I knew this would feel better.

  And it does.

  And when he pumps harder, and sucks my other breast harder, I squeeze my legs even tighter.

  We’re building together towards something momentous, and all consuming. Each thrust inflames, takes me closer to the edge, my heart pounds, my hips lift up, my muscles clench around him.

  “I love you,” he says, just as I scream, a long, contented, satisfied scream, convulsing and shuddering beneath him. Just as I finish, he thrusts, long and hard, and stays there, letting out a feral groan before pulling out and falling to my side, sighing as if he’s just run a marathon.

  He lifts his head and stares at me with a questioning look in his eyes. He’s wondering how it was for me.

  “I love you,” I say, in answer, meaning it for the first time ever. I lift my head claiming his lips with my mouth before sliding my tongue over his. We kiss, softly at first, but the pace quickly intensifies. My breasts begin to tingle. Heat rushes south. I want him all over again.

  “We might need a moment,” he says, lying down beside me, taking my hand and kissing my fingers tenderly. “Just a moment, mind you.”

  “Promise?” I close my eyes and savor the touch of his velvet lips against my skin. This is what it’s like to be with someone who cares, when it feels good, when it’s not forced. This is what making love is all about.

  I cling to him because I don’t want to leave. I don’t want us to part. I could lie like this forever.

  Epilogue

  One year later...

  NINA

  * * *

  “What do we do?” My heart is going crazy. The test is positive.

  I’m pregnant.

  Callum swoops me up in his arms easily and holds on to me, before dancing around the room, still carrying me.

  “What do we do?” he cries, looking happier than I’ve ever seen him. “We’re going shopping! We’re refurbishing the nursery.”

  “We were being careful,” I whisper.

  “Except for that one time when you couldn’t wait for me to put on a condom,” he reminds me.

  I remember that night. We hosted a party at his home in Vermont. Elias and Harper were there as were some of Callum’s closest friends.

  Vermont in the winter.

  I’d never been to Vermont before.

  I was overwhelmed.

  The snow, the pretty town.

  Callum’s other home.

  We threw a party, and I never knew that being a hostess could be so much fun.

  When it ended, in the early hours of the morning, I was still flying high from the adrenaline.

  I remember well that night without a condom.

  I come back to the present. “Refurbishing the nursery?”

  Where?

  Where do we live?

  I still work at the diner, I’m still clinging onto that normality, but it’s only ‘Cameo appearances’ as Frankie keeps telling me.

  I just need some normality. Something familiar and happy, and I think that’s what I’m clinging onto even when I know I no longer need to work. It would be enough for me to have Frankie over for dinner every now and then, given that her warmth and wisdom are some of the things that reel me back there.

  But I am so busy with other things.

  I’ve been keeping an eye on Callum’s books. My bookkeeping course came in handy. I don’t do the books. Callum has too much money invested in too many places for me to feel confident to handle all that stuff. I keep an eye on his general expenses and, between that, and the diner, and no more night school, and having Callum in my life, I don’t need anything else.

  “You decide. Wherever you want. You’ll have to give up your apartment now, you see that, don’t you?”

  I’ve been clinging onto that too.

  When filming finished, he returned to LA, but travelled back and forth to Chicago.

  Now we’ll need a base.

  A foundation.

  Something permanent. No back and forth, because now we’re going to have a child.

  We’re going to be a family.

  He sets me down and disappears while I’m still giddy with happiness at this sudden change in my circumstances, and all the new things that this will bring.

  I run my hand over my stomach.

  A baby.

  A new life.

  And I will be the type of mother I always wished I had.

  Elias. I can’t wait to tell Elias and Harper.

  Their wedding.

  They’re getting married in two months’ time and I am Harper’s maid of honor.

  How much bigger will I be by then?

  Harper has it all sorted out. She has copious notes of everything to do with the wedding, the cake, the flowers, the bridesmaids dresses. She gave up her tech magazine job just so she could concentrate on her perfect wedding.

  My pregnancy will be a tiny blip in her plans.

  A good blip. I smile at the thought of telling them both. I’m still smiling when I turn around, only, Callum is on his knee.

  I gasp, and I think I’m going to cry.

  Tears well up quickly because I see the ring.

  “I wasn’t going to do this right now,” he say
s, clearing his throat and running his hand through his hair as if he’s trying to tidy it. Not that he needs to do anything. I wake up beside this beautiful man each morning and consider myself to be the luckiest woman alive.

  “I love you Nina Cardoza, and I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?”

  I stifle a cry, try to hold back the tears, but they come anyway.

  I nod and splutter and a wave of pure heart bursting emotion crashes over me.

  “Is that a yes?” he asks, getting up off the floor and holding the ring at the tip of my finger.

  “Yes!” I cry, but it comes out as a smothered shriek. I compose myself. “Yes,” I say calmly, “Yes, I will marry you.”

  He slides the rock—there is no other word for it—onto my finger. I haven’t seen anything as big as this and it is going to take some getting used to; just like Callum took some getting used to.

  He kisses me, as if to seal my acceptance, and our commitment.

  I am no longer ashamed of my past. It was done to me. My scars are proof of my strength and resilience, rather than marks of regret. They remind me that even though I’ve been through so much darkness, I broke free.

  My hand rests on my belly, the other around Callum’s neck. He kisses me deeply this time, and it confirms that I have it all, a man who loves me deeply, and his child in my belly.

  The things I thought I could never have—a normal life, someone to love me, happiness and a future that is bright—all the good things, are now mine to have and to hold forever.

  * * *

  Thank you for reading The Lies of Pride! I hope you enjoyed Nina and Callum’s story.

  * * *

  If you have a moment to spare, I would be most grateful if you could leave a review for this book at Goodreads. A review can be as short as one sentence. Your opinion goes a long way in helping others decide if a book is for them.

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