Given Time

by Anthony Burn

  Her voice took on a firm edge. ‘You’ll have to wait and see.’

  Drew confirmed that he wasn’t allowed to read Amy’s work either, and he also had no idea what it was about, but while his words were indifferent his voice couldn’t disguise his pride.

  As I disconnected the call, I felt immensely pleased for both of them, but as I thought about them chasing their dreams, it gradually began to dawn on me why I was feeling listless. Gail from the lottery had told me, all those months ago, to take time to work out what to do with the money, but now I became conscious that I needed to work out what to do, full stop. Travelling and sightseeing were enjoyable pastimes, and I would continue to do both, but I needed something more tangible to occupy my time.

  The trouble was that after six months I had no idea what that might be. I was beginning to feel an overwhelming sense of wasted time and that my life had lost its purpose.

  Unlike my brother and his wife-to-be, I’d never had any concrete ambitions. In my teens I’d dreamed of running my own business and being a millionaire, but now I’d ticked both of those boxes and it still wasn’t enough. I definitely didn’t want to go back to writing code for other people, but I couldn’t think of another occupation that filled me with excitement.

  Yet, even as I considered the problem, I knew I hadn’t quite hit the mark. There was something else missing, something no amount of concentration would bring to mind.

  I was sure that with enough reflection, I would discover what I wanted and regain my sense of place in the world, but right now, even though I was loving New Zealand and the friends I had made, I knew this wasn’t it.

  I suddenly felt a very long way from home.

  II

  Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

  Great men are almost always

  bad men…

  John Dalberg-Acton (1834–1902)

  Thirteen

  As my flight descended towards Heathrow Airport, there were just enough breaks in the cloud to allow the occasional ray of sunlight to scatter sparkles across the river. At ground level, in comparison to the mild climate I’d left behind, the late April weather in England’s capital was bitterly cold, with the breeze whistling down all the way from the Arctic, causing people to rush about their business and leaving them at odds to the warmth of my renewed optimism.

  When I arrived home, my flat felt both familiar and alien, welcoming yet uncomfortable. The breaks in the cloud that I’d seen from the plane had closed up, making the flat feel dark and rather claustrophobic. For six months I’d lived in luxurious rooms that were light and spacious, and now, although it felt good to be back in my own environment, it was as though I was seeing my surroundings for the first time. The rooms were small and cramped, with used furniture that had aged to just the wrong side of shabby, the carpets were worn and grubby, and the walls were marked and stained. Dust covered every surface, and cobwebs gathered in every corner. I knew most of the accumulation was due to it being shut up for so long, but even after taking that into account it was still a typical unkempt bachelor pad.

  At any other time, I might have been dejected by the thought of so much mess to clear, but because it was more than I would want to tackle by myself, I was quite cheerful at the prospect of employing people to do the work for me. I’d picked up some necessities from the local shop on my way home, so I wandered through to the kitchen to put on the kettle while I made a list.

  First and most pressing was a cleaning contractor. I’d seen vans in the neighbourhood, so I was sure I could arrange for that to be done fairly quickly. Then I supposed I could get painters and decorators in, but no sooner had I decided that than I started to think about having to move all of the furniture, and I wasn’t sure if it was the best course of action. I grabbed my mug of tea and moved from room to room, inspecting my possessions. Much of the furniture had been my grandfather’s and, as it had been perfectly serviceable when I moved in, I’d never thought to update it. But viewed with appraising eyes, I could see it was all very old-fashioned and well beyond its sell-by date.

  The thought of a freshly decorated flat with all new furniture and fittings was exciting, so I mentally changed my list. First would be the cleaners, then a house clearance company, followed by painters and decorators, and finally interior design and furnishers. I would have to move out while the work was being done, but that wasn’t a problem; I enjoyed staying in hotel suites with big rooms and lots of space…

  That image brought my plans to a shuddering stop. I put down my mug and looked out of the front window at the cold grey street. I gazed again at all the familiar buildings, the same parked cars and the usual traffic ambling along the road but couldn’t sense any needful connection. I turned to look at the front room again. Yes, I could redecorate and refurnish everywhere, but no matter how well it was done, it would still be a cramped, often gloomy space located one hundred metres from the Thames but with no view of the river.

  ‘Sorry, Grandad,’ I said to his memory. ‘You’ve done me proud, and I’ll always be grateful, but I’m afraid this just isn’t a home for a multi-millionaire.’

  The property search lasted a few hours online, followed by several days of physical viewings. I’d confined my search to apartments beside the river and close to my favourite walk along the Victoria Embankment. To my surprise there was no shortage of places for sale, and to my delight the prices were lower than I had expected. Not that it mattered – it just meant there was nothing that was out of the question.

  To begin with I’d concentrated mainly on the area between Blackfriars Bridge and Tower Bridge, but I finally found exactly what I was looking for further down river at Wapping. I’d initially dismissed the property when I’d seen it online for being too far away from the city, but as soon as I’d walked through the door I knew it was the place for me.

  The estate agent met me in the street before taking me through the building’s security and up in the lift to the tenth floor. As we stepped off the elevator into the entrance lobby, the apartment was flooded with light even though it was an overcast day, and when we opened the double frosted-glass doors to the living room I could see why. The entire outside wall was comprised of floor-to-ceiling glass panels, giving virtually unobstructed views both ways along the Thames and across to Bermondsey on the south bank. I stood, transfixed by the vista and attempted to take it all in; Tower Bridge, at less than half a mile away, filled the view to my right, while on the opposite side of the river the skyline was mostly free of high-rise buildings, allowing an unbroken outlook to the horizon. The wide sky made the apartment much less claustrophobic than many of the flats I’d seen, with their limited aspects to the other side of the Thames, and I knew instantly that I felt comfortable here.

  The open-plan living space was massive, with a kitchen at one end and the rest divided into a dining area next and a lounge at the far end. The space was dotted with occasional chairs and tables, making the room feel more like a hotel lounge than a home. I was sure that I would set it out differently, but I would definitely employ a designer to help get it right.

  We moved on to the three bedrooms. All were at least three times the size of my current bedroom, and all had luxurious en-suite bathrooms. Again they were light and airy, with floor-to-ceiling windows, causing me to wonder about privacy. The rooms weren’t overlooked from anywhere nearby, but the agent showed me concealed blinds, which neatly resolved that particular issue.

  There was a rooftop terrace at one end of the building, and an outside balcony that surrounded the entire apartment, accessed by sliding doors at regular intervals along the glass walls. A keen wind made it chilly when we went outside, but the lofty panorama more than made up for inclement weather, and I could imagine myself spending a lot of time out there on fine days.

  I didn’t need to think twice about buying the place, and although I was happy to pay the asking price, I put in an offer because it seemed to be the thing to do.

  The
agent called me later that day to say my offer had been accepted, so I instructed solicitors who assured me that they could complete the purchase within four to five weeks.

  With time to spare, I amused myself by playing the stock market. Matt from the bank put me in touch with his colleague, Dale, from their brokerage department. When I phoned, he greeted me warmly and then immediately cautioned me about the possibility of losing everything in a very short time.

  His voice became earnest as he did his best to frighten me. ‘Yeah, listen Kee, this isn’t for the faint-hearted. It’s really easy to get caught up when you’re doing well, but things can turn ugly in seconds. I’ve known people to lose not only all of their money, but also their homes and their jobs on the back of one bad decision.’

  It probably did nothing to allay his fears that I countered his intensity with nonchalance. ‘Sounds scary. Wasn’t there a guy who brought down his whole bank a few years ago?’

  ‘Yeah, you’re right. His autobiography is considered essential reading round here. You know, we have a lot of people here who can do this for you. Very experienced people. It’s still not without risk, but we can often mitigate any losses pretty quickly and you can come out well in the long term.’

  I thanked him for his concern, toned down the flippancy and confirmed I was keen to have a go for myself.

  In the silence that followed, I imagined rather than heard his sigh before he said he would set up an online account for me. ‘I’ll start it as a practice account, so you can get a feel for things. You’ll have ten thousand euros to play with, but although the charts and quotes for financial assets are real, the money isn’t. Any profits or losses are virtual. Once you’ve got the hang of it, you can convert to real trading at the click of a button.’

  ‘How soon can you set up the account?’ I asked.

  I could hear Dale tapping at his keyboard. ‘Yeah, I can do that for you straight away. We’ve got all your personal details here at the bank, so it’s just a question of transferring them to your trading account. And I have to take you through, and get your agreement to, the FCA rules and regulations.’

  He read me the Financial Conduct Authority’s document, and I agreed that I wasn’t using my capital to commit fraud, fund terrorism or for money laundering purposes, along with a host of other declarations. When he’d finished, he explained briefly about various trading options, including Currency Pairs, Indexes, Stocks and Commodity CFDs.

  ‘CFDs?’ I asked.

  ‘Yeah, contracts for differences,’ he said. ‘When you trade CFDs, you don’t buy or sell the asset. Let’s say gold, for instance. Instead, you anticipate how the market price for gold will go and open a long position on the spot price, meaning you’re buying, or a short position, meaning you’re selling. At the end of the agreed term, you settle the difference with the CFD provider, depending on where the price finished.’

  ‘I’m glad I asked,’ I said, my tone heavy with irony, feeling no wiser.

  ‘Yeah, don’t worry, you’ll soon get the hang of it. If you like, once you’ve got the practice account open in front of you, I can walk you through it all.’

  ‘That would be good,’ I said. ‘What would you recommend trading in first?’

  ‘Depends on how much you want to expose yourself to risk, and whether you want to make long- or short-term trades.’ He went on to explain about leverage ratios, volatility, and a bunch of other stuff that went over my head, but he reassured me again that it would all become clear when I started with the practice account. He gave me the web page address so I could sign up, and having completed the process I was confronted by a screen full of tables, charts and graphs, with numbers that were going up and down and switching between red and green faster than I could take them in.

  Dale took me through the basics, and after a few minutes of me asking stupid questions while he remained very patient, it began to make some sense. Afterwards he gave me what sounded like much-rehearsed advice: ‘Take your time to practice with it, and only switch to real money when you feel confident about what you’re doing. I’ll leave you to it, but if you’ve got any questions, just give me a call, okay? One last thing. Do you want to make a deposit now so you can start trading for real when you’re ready, or would you like to wait until you’ve done some practice?’

  ‘I might as well do it now,’ I told him.

  ‘Yeah, sure. How much do you want to deposit?’

  ‘Is ten million okay?’ I asked.

  He was quiet long enough for me to wonder if the line had disconnected, but then he spoke slowly, drawing out his one-word reply. ‘Okay.’ After another silence he continued, ‘Listen, Kee, I have to ask you this. I’m not saying it’s going to happen, but would you be prepared to lose that amount?’

  I was touched by the concern in his voice, and I really wanted to tell him I had a device that would make sure it never happened, but I couldn’t do that, not that he would have believed me anyway, so I told him I would try to be careful.

  He still sounded dubious. ‘Yeah, okay. Practise first, and when you begin trading for real, start small and work your way up. Remember, if you use all of your money and lose, you could be liable for losses that greatly exceed your deposit. If you want, I can monitor your account for a while and try to make sure you don’t make a pillock of yourself.’

  I laughed. ‘Do you talk to all of your clients like that?’

  ‘Only the ones that scare me,’ he said.

  ‘Okay, Dale. You can monitor me if you want, but I’m a big boy. I know what I’m getting myself into.’

  ‘Yeah, I really hope you do,’ he said. ‘Stay lucky.’

  I practised for a couple of hours, getting used to how all the different charts and tables worked, but instead of accepting any losses on the virtual account, I simply turned back the time and started again. By the time I’d finished, I’d nearly doubled the imaginary money and I was ready to do it for real. I clicked on the button to switch to real trading, but instead of investing immediately I watched the markets for big movements, and then turned back time to place my money accordingly.

  At the end of the day I’d made substantial profits, but I’d also aroused Dale’s suspicions.

  ‘Beginner’s luck,’ I told him when he questioned me.

  ‘Yeah, nobody gets that lucky, especially when they first start. Where are you getting your information?’

  I tried to tell him I was watching carefully what other people were doing, but it was obvious that he didn’t accept the explanation. His voice lost any pretence of friendliness, and he started muttering darkly about suspension of trading and FCA investigations.

  Having realised my mistake, and that this wasn’t going to be quite as easy as I’d imagined, I turned back a few hours and deliberately made some losses along the way. I compensated for them by increasing the stakes on the trades I knew I would profit from, and this time I ended the day just slightly down on where I’d finished before.

  ‘Turbulent day,’ Dale said, when he called. ‘But you’ve done well, yeah? Did you enjoy it?’

  ‘It was fun,’ I said, ‘but really tiring. I’m knackered.’ I didn’t mention that with all the time travelling, his six hours since setting up the account had taken me nearly seventeen hours.

  ‘Yeah, the adrenalin keeps you going, but when it wears off it really knocks you out, and that’s when you make mistakes. You made a couple of really gutsy plays towards the end of the day.’

  ‘I was just trying to get back some of the losses,’ I explained.

  ‘Yeah, I can see that, but be careful, Kee. If one of those deals had gone sour, you could have been deep in the doo-doo.’

  I laughed. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve got a crystal ball.’

  ‘Yeah, there are a few guys round here who wish they had your crystal balls.’

  I disconnected the call still smiling, thinking that Dale hadn’t seen anything yet. I also wondered idly if it was just him, or whether all investment bankers started every oth
er sentence with the word ‘yeah’.

  I continued with it for three weeks before the novelty began to wear off. Despite Dale’s protests, I was trading increasingly large amounts, and I’d augmented my fortune considerably. I’d more than earned back the money I’d given to Drew and Dad, as well as the amount I’d paid for the new apartment and all the travelling I’d done. Along the way I’d staged some spectacular losses to avert any suspicion, but it hadn’t prevented Dale from referring to me as The Guru. I’d developed a strategy that allowed me to reduce the amount of time travelling, but my days were still several hours longer than normal and it was beginning to get tiring.

  With more than one hundred million in my bank account, I began to question what I was doing. I hadn’t known what to do with the money before, and now I had even more that I didn’t need. It occurred to me that, as with any kind of gambling, the excitement was in being unable to predict the outcome. The money was the incentive, but it was the thrill of beating the odds that was the real gratification. By knowing in advance which of my trades would succeed I’d taken away any anticipation, and all I was doing was topping up my bank balance with money I could do without.

  Dale called me a few days later to check if I was alright. I told him I was taking a break while I was ahead, and I’d probably do more sometime in the future. As I said it, I knew that in reality it was doubtful; unless I suddenly wanted something costing more than I could afford, I couldn’t see any need to trade again, but I asked him to leave the account open just in case.

  It was only a week until the completion date for my new apartment, and the next few days were filled with choosing furniture and fittings with my interior designer, although for the most part she did the choosing – I simply agreed.

  On moving-in day, I arrived midway through the morning to find her directing a whole army of people who were carefully unpacking and arranging all of my new possessions. I’d treated myself to all new tech, and I was happy to see my office area was complete, so to get out of their way I went and sat at my new computer, on my new desk, overlooking the Thames towards Tower Bridge.