Breathless (Soulless, Heartless, Hopeless)

by Cerys du Lys

  I jumped up, higher, heading for the sun or the moon or the stars or whatever I could find. My body pulsed and shook as Evan stoked me higher and higher still. I opened my mouth, letting loose my lip. Intending to scream or moan, I only managed open-mouthed silence.

  I crashed back down, my body jolting from each pleasant shock of Evan's tongue. He teased at the edge of my clit, running the tip of his tongue along the underside, cradling my pleasure spot with his warm, wet muscle. I leaned back in the chair, lounging, letting my whole body go lax.

  "What part of the movie are we at?" Evan asked.

  I stared down at him, lazy-eyed. "I have no idea."

  Evan stood up between my legs, smiling down at me. The sound of the movie playing beside us carried on, but neither of us paid attention to it. He held out his hands, beckoning me up, and I accepted his offer and let him lift me off the seat. We stood there for a second, close. I had no pants, but Evan did, and I didn't like that.

  I tried to pull them off for the third time this evening and this time it worked. Evan kicked off his shoes and helped me shimmy his pants down his body. I pulled down his boxers, too, delighting in the way his cock sprang free when I bunched them up at his thighs. I took his cock in my hands and stroked up and down his shaft, feeling his tenseness wrapped up in my fingers.

  Evan lifted his head to the ceiling, eyes fluttering, lids finally closing. His hands hung loose at his sides, free, but my hands did no such thing. I cupped his balls in one palm while I stroked his cock with my other hand. Still standing, not as close now, I leaned in and kissed his throat.

  I opened my mouth like I had earlier in the day and pressed my lips against his neck. My teeth pushed into his skin ever so slightly and my tongue traced a wet trail up and down his throat. I kissed at his Adam's apple, sucking on it. Every time he swallowed I could feel it in my mouth, pressing against my tongue, slipping down his throat.

  Evan couldn't take much more. He grunted and grabbed my hips and lifted me up. Before I knew it, he'd spun us both around and sat in my chair, pulling me atop him. I landed with a squeak in his lap, my knees resting on the top of his thighs. Scooting out, leaning back, Evan positioned me above him.

  Smiling at him, I pulled aside my panties and lowered myself onto his cock. His fierce heat invaded me, devouring me, wanting to control me, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I didn't want to do anything about it either, though. I moved down, taking him into me fully. He guided my hips with his hands. Once his cock rested all the way inside of me, he lifted my shirt all the way up and off and tossed it onto the floor with our pants and shoes.

  Evan unclasped my bra and slipped it aside while I lifted myself up until just the head of his cock lay precariously inside of me. I slowly lowered myself back down, feeling his fire inside of me again. It filled me like a gush of molten rock, hard and hot.

  Evan placed his hands on the middle of my back and pulled my upper body closer to him. His mouth latched onto my breasts, twirling my nipple with his tongue. Gasping, feeling heavy, I pushed hard onto him. I couldn't think anymore, didn't know what to do, so I just stayed there, basking in the heat of his cock embedded in my pussy.

  Evan lifted me up carefully, then pulled me back onto him. We set into a hasty rhythm. In the background, the movie sounds of the two of them making love nearly matched our sounds. I sighed, lusty, and Evan bucked his hips up and let out a groan.

  Together, the both of us, perfect and complete. I wanted this, loved it so much. It made me forget about everything that had happened. I almost appreciated the bad parts now because without them I'd never have felt this good. I'd never felt such fierce passion before. I don't think anyone could unless they were like me. Sensual heat, like drinking hot cocoa on a cold winter's day and feeling the warmth of it in my stomach, except all throughout my body, too, in my core, and amplified by a hundred.

  Thick and hot, deliriously slow. Evan and I made love.

  "Sadie," he murmured into my breast. "I'm going to soon."

  "Please, Evan," I whispered. "I want to feel it inside me. Please."

  We became a little more frantic, moving faster. I pressed my body against him, folding my hands together behind the nape of his neck. Evan squeezed my hips in his hands, pressing his fingers into my soft flesh. Up, bouncing, pressing into me, and then he pulled me down atop him hard and stopped.

  The warmth of his cum inside of me pushed me over the edge. It soaked into my inner walls, insulating me from my chill, and forced a scalding, sultry climax throughout my entire body. I shivered and shook, clenching around his cock, milking and squeezing him inside me.

  I felt so cozy and warm and soft like a feather, light and floating. Evan pulled me tight against him as our combined climax eased away, replaced by a wonderfully intimate closeness. I bent forward, leaning against him and resting my head on his shoulder.

  Evan kissed my cheek and my neck and my collarbone. "I know it's our first date," he said, "but..."

  "Don't go thinking I'm easy," I said, laughing. "I don't do this with just anyone, you know."

  Evan smirked. "I know. Me either. It's just... wow. I don't even know how to explain it, Sadie. Just wow."

  "Wow," I agreed.

  The both of us glanced over at the laptop. The movie had ended some time ago and the credits rolled down the screen. I stared at the names, enthralled. Where were these people now? What were they doing?

  Nuzzling against Evan's cheek, I said, "We missed the movie."

  He kissed me quick. "Do you want to watch another?"

  ...

  Desiree lounged on the couch, kicking her feet over the edge of the armrest. Grabbing her wineglass from the coffee table, she gulped down her fifth glass of the evening. Maybe she was a little tipsy right now, but what did it matter?

  Evan, she thought, and a zombie girl. Sadie, he called her. She seemed nice enough, really. For a zombie, anyways.

  Or whatever Evan wanted to call her. She didn't even understand that. How could he like her? Alright, so maybe she wasn't dead, but she wasn't quite the best example of a living girl, either. Who wanted cool, unresponsive skin when they could have warm, hot, wet flesh? Desiree would've given it to him, too. She wouldn't just give that to anyone, and she hoped Evan realized this, but she would've given it to him.

  Instead, oh no, he went off on a date with the not-quite-dead girl. With his laptop, no less. She envied him that. Back before all this happened she used to love screwing around on her computer, checking neat things on Pinterest and playing around on Facebook. Looking up random stuff, having fun, whatever.

  Pinterest and Facebook didn't exist now, nor did the internet. Mostly computers didn't exist, either, except Evan had his solar array to charge his laptop and an assortment of games, DVDs, and other programs to keep him entertained. Not that he used the thing all the time, but she would admit she was kind of jealous sometimes.

  They used to watch movies together, him and her. Fun stuff, in his tent, sitting on his cot with the laptop between them, laughing. She wanted more, though. She wanted to be close to him and she'd tried so hard, but he always moved away from her. Not just physically, but mentally, too. She'd tried to chase him more and more, becoming rather forward and frank, but none of that worked.

  Evan distanced himself from her. Today, this trip here, was the first time he'd opened up to her in weeks.

  It was Sadie's fault, she knew. Maybe not exactly, but Sadie was the damsel in distress that Evan wanted to get excited about. Why didn't he think Desiree needed him? What was so much better about the zombie girl compared to the girl who had been friends with him, helped him, was close to him before all that?

  Apparently Desiree wasn't enough for Evan, not now or ever. Except was that the truth of it?

  She glanced towards the dining room table. Some movie played on the TV, though she only watched it with half interest. The din of the generator's motor clattered outside, consistent and loud.

  Desiree popped a ricew
ork crisp into her mouth and chewed it down to bits, then swallowed. Getting up off the couch, she walked to the table and the two-way radio sitting there out in the open. She picked it up and tested it out, playing around with the buttons. Then she hit the button to call for its twin back at camp.

  Standing there, not quite sure if she wanted to do this, she waited.

  Someone answered, their voice coming through the radio speaker, staticky. "Everything alright?"

  It was Alex.

  "Hey, Alex," Desiree said. She paused. A few seconds passed.

  "I'm not sure if the signal is too good," he said. "All I heard was 'Hey, Alex.' Anything else?"

  "Yeah," she said slowly. "Look, you know how Evan said he and I were going to go spend some time together alone? Well..."

  She told him everything. The house, Sadie, how Evan had left, what he'd said. What she thought, and she told him about the generator.

  Everything.

  Alex listened carefully. "Can you get me directions?" he asked.

  "Yeah, but..." But what? What was she doing? She didn't know, but she needed to do it. Evan was wrong. He didn't think he was wrong, but he was. He had to be. They weren't... this wasn't...

  Cinna peeked around a corner, staring at her.

  "Yeah," she repeated, turning away from the cat. "Do you have a pen and paper?"

  Hopeless

  "You might want to consider taking the back entrance," Jonny said.

  Evan and I looked up at him. We were cuddled close together and had fallen asleep while watching our second movie of the evening. I didn't remember much of it, or what we'd chosen to watch. The only thing I remembered now, what I felt, was the wonderful feeling of waking up and knowing I was fully aware. Still a bit sleepy and I needed to stretch, but I only felt the regular parts of awakening.

  My mind didn't feel murky and confused, just cozy and soft. I had my head on Evan's shoulder and my arm on his chest. Warm, delightful, and I loved it.

  I thought maybe I loved Evan, too, but it was so soon and I didn't know for sure and... did I just feel this way because I was forced to, somewhat? Did I really have any other choice? I didn't know, but I didn't like to think about it, either.

  Evan and Jonny talked and I lay there, comfortable, listening.

  "There's how many?" Evan asked.

  "At least twenty," Jonny said. "I tried to tell them that you escaped, but they wouldn't listen to me. Most don't. Most don't talk, either, but, well, yeah. From what I gathered, they want to come in and see for themselves. Not the most coherent bunch, though, you know?"

  "Can we go out the emergency exit?" I asked. "Every movie room has one, right?"

  Jonny nodded. "Yeah. It's not a bad idea, but I don't know if any of them are waiting out there. There could be more than twenty for all I know."

  "So what do you suggest?" Evan asked.

  "You can get to the roof through the projection room in theatre 8, then check around to make sure it's all clear. There's an emergency ladder that lowers to the ground, but it's only on one side of the building, so you'll have to make sure you can get away safely once you climb down. That's my suggestion, anyways. You can do what you want, I guess."

  Evan looked at me. "Are you alright with that?"

  I knew what he meant and why he asked it. Did I think I could climb down a ladder on my own? Yes, maybe, though I wasn't positive. I'd climbed up the hill here, but that was something different, too. I struggled and it took awhile, but all I had to do was apply effort. Climbing the wall to the university the other day was much the same, too. If I fell, it wasn't too far of a drop. From the roof of a movie theatre, though, well...

  "I can do it," I said. "If you're there, Evan, I can do it. I think I can."

  He smiled and kissed me on the nose. "Alright. Let me pack this up quick and then we'll get going. Do you need help with this cart, Jonny?"

  "Nah," he said. "I'll leave it here. Maybe you'll come back, right? I mean, it'd be nice to have a few customers again. You don't have to pay or anything, but it'd just be nice to have people around."

  Evan nodded, leaving it at that. He left me and started shutting down his laptop and packing it away..

  "How do you do it?" I asked suddenly.

  Jonny looked at me, confused. "What do you mean?"

  "Is it just the popcorn? How do you manage up here? I know the popcorn is warm, but I don't... it's so hard for me. I do the same sometimes. I eat soup or beans or chili after I heat them up, but it's still hard and I can't eat a lot."

  "Oh." The zombie movie usher offered me a wry grin. "For me, it's not much different now than it was before, you know? You get into a groove working at a place like this and you end up doing everything without thinking about it anyways. I was kind of like a zombie before, so it works out. I guess I'm used to it."

  I looked at him, worry wrinkling my brow. I liked Jonny and he seemed nice. I wished Evan and I could take him with us, but how? He could come, escape, try to be normal with me, except if he left the theatre and his popcorn machine, he'd become just like one of the others. Maybe it was for the best, but it seemed so sad.

  I blinked away the last of the sleep from my eyes and stood up. The theatre chair seat flipped up behind me, settling back into place as if no one had ever been sitting there. Scooting around Evan, I stepped towards Jonny and gave him a hug.

  He looked at me funny for a second, a confused smirk on his face, but then he put his arms around me and hugged me, too.

  "I'm sorry," I said. "We'll come back, though, alright? I promise. Maybe you can watch a movie with us next time."

  "Maybe," he said, squeezing me tight. Our bodies pressed together, cool and pale, but I didn't mind it; he felt like me, like maybe he was my brother or my cousin and we'd just reunited. "You feel a little warm right now," he added. "Not like Evan, but a little bit. He seems nice, too. You two be careful, alright?"

  Jonny and I stepped away from each other, awkward and unsure. We'd hugged, yes, but I didn't know how to hug him, didn't know if I should have. Maybe I shouldn't have said any of that. I had a bad habit of telling people too much and too soon; with Evan, mostly, but apparently with everyone else, too.

  "We'll be careful," I said.

  "We'll come back soon, too," Evan said. "I don't know when, but we'll come back soon."

  "Alright!" Jonny said, raising his voice. "Enough of this. Too mushy for my tastes. I never liked romance movies much. Too girly. Let's change this into an action flick. How's that sound?"

  Tossing his bag over his shoulder, Evan chuckled. "As long as there's no explosions, I'm good with it."

  "I make no promises, good sir. None at all."

  ...

  Jonny brought us to the projection room above theatre 8. The steps were difficult for both of us, but thankfully there weren't too many. He opened the door and moved his flashlight around the room, lighting the way, then pointed it to the ceiling.

  "Right there," he said, shining the light on a string dangling from the ceiling. "If you pull that down, it'll lower a set of steps. Kind of steep ones, but not a lot so they aren't too bad. Climb up and there's a panel at the top that lifts away to get to the roof. Probably latched and I haven't used it in months so it might stick, but I think it'll open."

  Evan nodded. "I'll go up first. You stay here with Jonny until I get to the roof, alright, Sadie?"

  "Be careful," I said.

  Evan swept me up into his arms and lifted me off the ground, pulling me against him. I gazed at him, unsure for a second, but then I laughed. He muffled my laugh with a kiss, pressing his lips against mine and exploring me with his tongue. My back arched and my body tensed under his warm aggression.

  I wrapped my legs around his waist and clung to his neck with my hands, savoring every piece of him, every touch, everything. I kissed him wildly and without care. My chest squeezed tight against his, breasts mashed between our bodies, and I wanted more. I wore pants now, but I didn't care. I wanted them off—Evan's, too—
and I wanted him to lower me onto his erection and make love to me right then and there.

  Jonny stood in the room, none too pleased with either of us. "Uh, excuse me?" he said.

  Evan and I froze mid-kiss. I peeked one eye over to Jonny, who stood in the dark with a flashlight shining on our feet. Evan cleared his throat, sheepish, and lowered me to the ground. I fixed my shirt and apologized with a whisper.

  "I just, um, you know? Wanted to make sure Sadie felt fine for the climb. That's all," Evan said.

  "Thank you very much, Evan," I said. Then, perhaps unnecessarily, I added, "You're so thoughtful."

  "Thoughtful my ass," Jonny muttered. "This is a family theatre, you two. For families."

  "We were trying to make one?" I suggested.

  Evan stared at me, eyes wide, grinning. Forcing himself away, he pulled the string, lowered the ladder-steps, and bounded up them. He managed not to laugh for a full ten seconds before the sound of it burst through the roof entry path and echoed down to Jonny and I.

  "You're both cracked," Jonny said. "I hope you know that. Absolutely cracked."

  "Thanks for helping us," I said.

  "You can still come back, of course," he said, to himself or me or no one. "Try to calm it down a bit, though? I mean, it's cute and amusing, but yeah. Makes a guy lonely."

  "Evan has a friend," I said. "She's not the friendliest yet, but maybe she'll be nicer? You might like her?"

  "Some other zombie?" he asked.

  "No, she's a human."

  "Yeah, well... I doubt it. First off, I'm a zombie, and second, I'm a movie usher. I'm pretty sure neither of those are highly sought after in the post-apocalyptic dating scene. She wouldn't be interested."

  I shrugged. "I don't know. You might find someone else, too."

  "It's a nice idea," Jonny said. "You two aren't normal, though, you know? Like... I think you're both nice, but I don't even understand how this works. It's great, don't get me wrong, but I think it's that one in a million chance. The type you only see in a movie. Like some Time Traveler's Wife stuff or something. Except there's no time traveling and there's zombies instead."