The Green Beans, Volume 5: The Phantom of the Auditorium
Page 20
“A ‘great deal of trouble’? Maybe you could elaborate on that statement,” Sara suggested.
Double H took several deep breaths, and she almost appeared to be on the verge of fainting. The sisters recalled that the woman had mentioned something about her anxiety disorders, and they thought this reaction must have something to do with that.
Sara and Maria had no love for Jasper and Ebenezer, and they had little sympathy for this woman, who was skulking around the basement of the school and assisting the Black Hats. Yet, they couldn’t help but feel a little bit bad for her, as she took in the unfortunate news about her colleagues.
“Are you okay?” Maria asked with concern.
“It’s just…” Double H paused, took a deep breath, and resumed. “Look, I’m not cut out to deal with what those two left behind. They were the brains of this operation, and without them, I’m afraid I’m in way over my head.”
“Those two doorknobs? They were the brains of this operation? Well, if that’s not a disturbing thought, I don’t know what is,” Maria said.
“What exactly is going on down here? What have you been up to in our school?” Sara demanded.
“You’ve been captivated by my wondrous designs, and nobody can blame you for that,” Double H said. She pointed across the room. “But have you noticed what’s on the other side of the workshop?”
The sisters realized Double H was right. They had been so captivated by the assortment of masks, costumes, and pyrotechnic supplies, they had paid no attention to anything else in the room. They turned around and looked where Double H had pointed.
The other side of the workshop also had several tables that were covered with tools and supplies. But these were of a more mechanical nature, and clearly not intended for the purposes of disguises and illusion.
There were vast storage trays filled with every type of tool imaginable. On the walls, thousands of pieces of hardware had been organized and were within easy grasp of anybody who might work at the bench. Dozens of battery packs were neatly stacked next to massive chargers. It was an impressive array of tools and materials, all meticulously organized, without a single item out of place.
The implication of such tidiness was clear. Jasper was a mechanical genius who had built some truly astonishing things in the past, and it looked as though his farm wasn’t the only place he had been doing some work.
“Do you mean to tell me… has Jasper been tinkering away down here, under the school?” Maria asked. “I thought he did all that stuff in the barn at Cragglemeister Farm.”
“We share this workshop. I do my thing on this side, and he does his thing over there,” Double H explained.
“And what exactly has his thing been, as of late?” Sara asked.
“Well, with the help of Ebenezer, Jasper has created some wonderful contributions to the Espionage Department. Among them are some tiny recording devices, cleverly hidden in ordinary objects,” Double H said, gesturing toward a pile of neatly stacked erasers on one of the workbenches.
Maria narrowed her eyes. “Hey… I remember something about those…”
“That’s just like the one Jack told us Jasper snuck into his backpack - the one he inadvertently delivered to Lefty’s laboratory,” Sara said.
“That’s right.” Turning her attention back to Double H, Maria asked, “What about these mechanical gremlins that are rampaging throughout the school? I take it that’s been one of his projects down here?”
“Yes. This workshop,” Double H said, sweeping her gloved hand through the air, “is where the mecha-monkeys became operational. He built the first one several years ago, and since that time, he’s continued to manufacture them and refine their abilities.”
“Well, that’s just great,” Sara said. “He’s literally been up to monkey business, and right under our noses.”
“But why? To what end?” Maria asked.
The sisters were utterly perplexed as to why Jasper would do such a thing. Sure, he was a doorknob and oftentimes fell victim to his own shortsightedness, but what benefit could he possibly glean from setting a bunch of mechanical monstrosities loose in the school?
“For the extra hands, of course,” Double H explained. “Haven’t you ever considered how remarkable it is, all the stuff that Jasper gets done? I mean, there are only so many hours in the day.”
“I suppose it is pretty impressive, now that you mention it. We always suspected that one-eyed buffoon went without sleep or something,” Maria said.
Double H chuckled. “Single-handedly maintaining this school would take up all his time, were he to attempt it on his own. And clearly, you have knowledge of the work he does for the Black Hats. He told me all about you two - as well as your friends, Neil and Jack. The ‘Beans’, he calls you.”
“I’d imagine he’s complained about us quite a bit,” Sara said.
“Oh, yes,” Double H confirmed. “You know, Jasper’s not easily rattled, but the four of you seem to really know how to push all his buttons.”
“Well, it’s not as if he hasn’t deserved everything he’s gotten. He’s no better than Ebenezer - in fact, he’s probably worse!” Maria exclaimed.
Double H shrugged. “Hey, I’m staying out of it. But they’ve always treated me fairly, and due to my anxiety disorders, I’m afraid I’m quite reliant upon them.”
“Of course they treat you well. It’s because they’re taking advantage of you - using you for your expertise in illusions and disguises,” Sara pointed out.
At this, Double H looked down at her feet, as if ashamed. “I realize that. But… well, it’s complicated.”
“There’s a better way, miss. You need to get out of this life,” Sara implored.
“I’ve considered it many times. But I’m afraid that might not be possible,” Double H said remorsefully.
Chapter Twenty-One
Curious Quarters