Love or Lust

by Rachael Brownell

  Which was bullshit considering I’d never given him a reason not to.

  And then I caught him cheating. The pieces fell together quickly after that. Wanting to know where I was going, who I was with, and when I’d be home . . . so he wouldn’t get caught. Not trusting me and interrogating me about every little detail . . . that was him trying to turn the tables on me. So I wouldn’t think he was cheating. So I wouldn’t get suspicious.

  It worked because I was blind to the whole ordeal. The idea of him cheating on me never crossed my mind. Why would it? He’d never given me a reason to suspect. He always showed me affection, told me he loved me. We were planning our future. If there were any surprises ahead for us, I would have thought it would be our engagement.

  Then, after he did propose, I was so excited and it felt so natural for that to be our next step, I didn’t give it a second thought. Looking back now, I’m glad we planned a long engagement. Turns out, I had no idea who I was dating. Marrying him would have been a big mistake.

  “Do you always space out like this?” Callen asks, nudging me.

  “Yup,” I reply, popping the P for emphasis as I take a drink, enjoying the burn as I swallow.

  “Care to share what has you distracted? My guess would be either Jace or Lennon since you were staring at the two of them. You didn’t even blink when they waved.”

  Was I? And I got caught? Oops.

  “I wasn’t actually staring at anyone. I was inside my own head, thinking. It can be dangerous from time to time,” I joke, turning so he can see my smile.

  “Hmmm. Sounds legit but I also know those two have a thing for you, and I feel like it’s reciprocated.”

  “Do you?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at him in challenge.

  “Let me give you a view from the outside while we wait,” he begins, reaching behind him to grab a bean bag, then tossing it up in the air as he talks. “Milo and Natasha are already banging. They think it’s a secret, but I’m fairly certain everyone knows except the producers. Gage is always pissed off because whichever one he wants doesn’t return the feelings. Drake would take any one of you girls to bed, or all of you if it was an option, though I think he has a thing for Kyra but is afraid to scare her.”

  “Really?” I interrupt, excited for Kyra.

  “Pay attention, Presley. You learn more about people by watching their actions than listening to their words. Anyway, Teegan and Courtney are interested in Jace. They spend all day talking about him and watching his every move. But Jace only has eyes for you, and so does Lennon. Though, I think Bella would happily jump in Jace’s bed if he showed her even an ounce of interest. And you . . . you can’t decide who you want to play with. I think you want them both but realize that’s not how life works, and you seem to be a rather strong woman with good values. I don’t think you’d string them both along.”

  “I wouldn’t,” I reply defensively even though he just said he didn’t see me in that light.

  “I know but I want you to think about something. This show is a mind-fuck, but at the core, it could really be helpful for your current predicament. You’re meant to date both of them, to kiss them, to get close to them. It’s not cheating if you’re not committed. And until you decide who wins your heart, you need to give them both a chance.”

  He sounds like Naomi. Good God. I should introduce them.

  “What about you, Callen? Who’s on your radar?”

  “Honestly, I don’t think I’m connecting with anyone here yet. Do I have fun? Sure. Am I easy to get along with? I’d like to think so. Still, at the end of the day, the type of person I’m looking for I don’t think I’m going to find here. No offense.”

  “None taken. When this is all said and done, there’s someone I’d like to introduce you to. If you don’t find love, that is.”

  “I may take you up on that. Right now, we have a game to play. A tournament to win. And since you sound a little too coherent, you need another drink if that’s what it takes to beat everyone.” Callen stands and moves toward the bar before stopping and looking over his shoulder at me. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you make it back to your villa alone tonight.”

  How did he even know I was thinking about that? He really is intuitive or one hell of a mind reader.

  Ed pulls us all together and gives one of his fake, upbeat speeches for the cameras before disappearing as the games begin. There are three stations set up. Callen and I are in the middle playing against Gage and Kyra. Jace and Natasha are facing off against Teegan and Drake on our right. To our left, Lennon and Bella are taking on Milo and Courtney.

  The shit-talk between the guys is already heating up. They’re taking side bets. The stakes are as high as a hundred dollars to the winner of each round and five hundred to the final winning team.

  “You don’t have to put in fifty if you don’t want to. The guys were already talking about this earlier this morning over breakfast,” Callen tells me when he asks if I want in.

  Breakfast. The one meal I avoid like the plague even though I’m invited every day. Some of the girls go, but mainly it’s a guy thing, and I don’t want to be the only one there. Plus, I really enjoy sleeping in as long as I can. I’m not used to being up all hours of the night, and since being here, I can’t remember a night I’ve gone to bed at a decent time.

  Plus, if my options are staying up drinking and having fun without cameras directly in my face or eating early in the morning while I’m being watched, I’ll take late nights over early mornings any day of the week.

  “I can go half with you,” I offer. “In fact, I have a great idea. Why don’t we make a side bet for the second round?”

  “We have to win first,” he notes, nodding his head across the lawn at where Gage is giving Kyra pointers. She looks terrified even though he has a smile on his face.

  Oh, hell.

  “How would you feel about throwing the game?” I lean in close and ask, covering my mouth in case anyone attempts to read my lips.

  “What? Why?”

  “Because Kyra is the most sensitive person here, and if Gage loses, he’s probably going to flip his shit on her. The last thing I want is for her to break down and cry in front of everyone.”

  He thinks it over for a second before nodding in agreement. “As long as you’re not worried about winning immunity.”

  “If I go home, I go home. I’d rather spare her feelings if possible.”

  “You really are a great person, you know that? I can see why Jace and Lennon want to fight for you.”

  “Yeah, well, you only see what I want you to see. Keep that in mind. I have an evil side to me too.”

  “Don’t we all,” he remarks as Claudia calls our attention and announces the start of the game.

  Ten minutes later, Callen and I are seated at a table, drinking our Olympic Torches, taking bets from the other losing teams.

  “I have twenty on Drake and Teegan. She was playing better than he was, and I think it pissed him off even though they beat us,” Jace says.

  “We’ll take twenty on Gage and Kyra, then,” Callen nods, taking Jace’s money and turning to where Milo and Courtney are sitting, both with their arms crossed in annoyance. “You want in on this or not?”

  Milo grunts, digs around in his pocket, and then pulls out a twenty. He slaps it on the table. “Lennon and Bella better win or I’m going to be pissed. I still don’t know how he didn’t miss a single fucking toss.”

  We threw our game on purpose, only hitting a fraction of our shots. The ones I did hit, I wasn’t trying to, which made the game closer than we expected. Milo, on the other hand, didn’t hit a single shot, and Courtney was forced to carry the team. She did well, but it wasn’t enough to claim victory.

  Which is why she’s mad at him and he’s pissed at himself. Not that it’ll last that long. As soon as the final game is over, we’ll all be at the pool, happily celebrating with whichever team wins. At least I hope that’s what will happen.

  Bella and Len
non are taken down by Drake and Teegan first, joining us in the tent where Milo started talking shit immediately. First, he lost to them, then he lost another twenty bucks.

  The final game seems to go on forever. The rules state you have to win by two points, and they’re battling back and forth. Just as I think Gage and Kyra are about to take it, she misses her toss, coming up just short of falling in the hole. It’s literally hanging on the edge, refusing to drop. Teegan nails her shot, and so does Drake, snagging the victory.

  Jace hollers as if he won the tournament himself. All eyes are on him as Callen hands over the money from the side bet. But not mine. I’m paying attention to where Gage and Kyra are standing. His back is to me, blocking my view of her, but I can see him shaking with anger.

  Standing, I’m about to save her from his wrath when she bolts toward the villas. Callen grabs my arm and shakes his head. “Let me. She’ll be expecting you. Plus, I feel like your energy will be better spent giving Gage a piece of your mind.”

  “You have no idea,” I reply, stalking toward Gage as he makes his way to the tent.

  Don’t hit him, Presley. Don’t do it. It doesn’t matter how much he deserves it. You’ll get yourself in trouble.

  “What the actual fuck, Gage!” I holler as soon as he’s within arm’s reach.

  “What?” He shrugs his shoulder, pretending to look innocent.

  “Do me a favor and pull the stick out of your ass. We’re all here to have fun, and you’re making life miserable.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Are your boyfriends not giving it up yet? Did you need me to take care of you?” he sneers, stepping so close to my face I feel his breath against my cheek. “Maybe another kiss. One you won’t forget this time.”

  A shiver of disgust runs up my spine. Anger courses through my veins, and I’m clenching my fists at my side to keep from knocking him on his ass. I’m so focused on Gage I don’t feel two arms wrap around me. One around my waist, another around my shoulders.

  “Should we let her loose?” Jace asks.

  “He wouldn’t stand a chance,” Lennon replies.

  “Why don’t the three of you just lock the door and get it over with,” Gage says, attempting to step around us.

  “Why don’t you calm the fuck down, go jerk off, and come back when you can act like a civilized human being,” I spit.

  Gage stomps off as the guys stand laughing.

  “Did you just tell him to jerk off?” Lennon asks, removing his arm from around my waist and moving to stand in front of me.

  “I think you just stole my heart,” Jace says, pulling me close. “Let’s get you another drink. Feisty looks good on you.”

  Side by side, the three of us walk back to the tent where our remaining friends are pretending they didn’t see anything. Right. I’m sure every last one of them was watching with fascination.

  Chapter Twelve

  Day 12

  If I thought having Jace as a partner was going to be the highlight of my week, I obviously didn’t think about the fact that we get to face off at paintball on the day I’m paired with Lennon.

  Not to mention, it feels like the teams are a little mismatched today except for Jace and Teegan. Still, I’m pumped to strap on my protective gear and start shooting people.

  That sounds bad.

  That’s okay. I mean it.

  I’m not holding back. This is one activity where you don’t have to be athletic. It’s more about strategy and timing. And for only the second time since arriving, we’re leaving the ranch. Not that we’re going far, but it’s still a freeing feeling.

  The ride to the outdoor complex is quiet. Everyone’s pissed at Gage. Kyra hasn’t spoken to anyone since she bolted yesterday aside from Callen. He was able to calm her down and get her to see it was Gage’s fault and not hers.

  It doesn’t make me any less angry with him, but I have a way to combat that tomorrow when I’m partnered up with him. If he wants to be pissed, I’ll give him something to be pissed about. You don’t fuck with my friends. There’s no reason to be an asshole, and he’s about to find out just how much of an asshole I can be.

  Karma and all.

  “Your excitement is scaring me a little,” Lennon says as he helps me adjust my arm pads.

  We’re decked out head to toe. Helmet with a face guard. Vest, arm and leg pads. It’s not as easy to move around in, but I’d rather be slow than hurting tomorrow.

  “I may be excited to aim low on someone special,” I retort, my murderous glare falling on Gage.

  “Thank God you’re my partner today. Not that I wasn’t already excited but, seeing the way you’re determined to take him out, I’d rather not be someone you’re aiming your gun at.”

  “Take no prisoners,” I state with a devious smile on my face as I look back toward him.

  “We’re going to win this, aren’t we?”

  “You bet your ass. I’m a pretty good shot but, more than anything, I want to win and rub it in his face. Especially since he’s my partner tomorrow.“

  Lennon lets out a sigh as he kneels and checks the pads strapped to my legs. I watch in fascination as he pulls the Velcro, tightens it, and secures it again. He moves to the other leg and repeats the process, never looking up at me as he says, “Are you enjoying the show?”

  Rolling my eyes, I look away, catching sight of Jace and Teegan walking our way.

  “You remember I’m not the enemy, right?” Jace asks.

  “Today you are.” I wink at him, earning me an eye roll from Teegan.

  “Just make sure you know who you’re shooting at before you take the shot. I’d hate for you to mistake me for Gage.”

  “No promises,” I remark as Teegan begins dragging him away, scolding him for flirting with the enemy.

  “Ready to take them out one by one?” I ask Lennon as he stands to his full height in front of me, causing me to have to lift my chin so I can see his eyes.

  “What’s the game plan?” He sounds as excited as I feel.

  Pulling him farther away from the rest of the teams, I take out the map we were given and explain my idea to him. After going back and forth on a few things, we have a solid plan in place to take out the first two teams and alternative plans to move on from there, hopefully taking out two more. We won’t be able to take everyone out, so I’m hoping the other teams can eliminate at least one group.

  Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to have all the fun.

  “It’s time to get started,” Ed announces. He hadn’t ridden in the van with us, so I wasn’t even aware he was going to be here. Not that I’m surprised he is. “If you’re not familiar with paintball, let me give you the short version. If you’re shot, you’re out. Each of you has a different color paint. We’ll be able to tell who eliminated you. Once you are eliminated, you need to leave the course. Although you are on teams, this is an individual game when it comes to elimination. Just because you’re out doesn’t mean your teammate is. You can cheer for them from the elimination tent.

  “So, with that, please make sure you don’t purposely aim to injure anyone. The paintballs will sting if they hit you anywhere your gear doesn’t cover your body. Keep that in mind when shooting your opponents. You all have five minutes to take your assigned starting positions on the course. When you hear the horn, the game has started. Have fun and be safe!”

  Lennon and I take off running to our starting position at the back of the course. As soon as we’re there, I double-check to make sure the safety is off and look around at the position of the other teams.

  “We need to take out Drake and Natasha first,” I state. “They’re closest to us. I’ll aim for her. You aim for him.”

  Lennon nods his head in agreement as the horn sounds. I fire but miss. So does Lennon.

  “Shit!” I whisper yell as he takes cover. I can hear the sound of paintballs hitting the trees and obstacles on the course. Then I hear Kyra yelp and scream out a curse. I can’t help but peer around the corner, catching sight of the
bright blue on her chest. She’s out. Damn, that was fast.

  As I’m watching her jog off the course, I spot Drake hiding behind a nearby tree and fire off two rounds, hitting him square in the back. Shaking his head, he throws a middle finger in my general direction before he runs off. Lennon pats me on the back and points to where Milo is sneaking around the back side of a large metal pipe.

  Kneeling, Lennon takes the shot, and pink covers the front of Milo’s knee seconds later. He looks up to see Lennon waving at him. He’s awarded a middle finger the same way I was.

  I guess people don’t like to be eliminated.

  Next to go is Bella, followed quickly by Natasha. I avoid a shot from Teegan, jumping behind the tree just in time. Courtney takes out Teegan but is so excited, she doesn’t see Gage sneak up behind her, and he takes her out right after. She doesn’t seem to care. She’s still excited she hit a shot.

  Too bad for Gage I saw where he came out from. He’s been hiding this entire time. I think he knew I was gunning for him. Either that, or he was afraid everyone was going to shoot at him after yesterday. And he should be concerned. We all want to take him out. I was actually kind of hoping Kyra would get the chance to exact a little revenge, but that didn’t happen, so I’ll take it.

  He moves his leg just enough in the open, allowing me to take a chance. I nail him in the thigh. He lets out a loud growl, jumping out from the bush he was hiding in, looking around for who shot him. His thigh is hidden in the bush still, the pink paint not visible to Jace who sneaks up on the other side of him and shoots him in the back.

  “Fuck you, dude! I was already out,” Gage curses, stomping off in true Gage fashion.

  Jace ducks out of sight but not before winking at me. He knew Gage was out. That’s fantastic.

  Lennon shoots Callen, but then Lennon is immediately shot by Jace. Lennon apologizes as he jogs off, leaving me to face off with Jace. I’d been paying attention to where he was all game, trying not to be the one to take him out, but now I have no choice. I want to win and, knowing he is all that stands between me and victory, I have to put my game face on.