Love or Lust

by Rachael Brownell

  Everyone’s hooting and hollering as they jog over to where we’re all seated. Jace takes a bow and Courtney curtseys, a huge smile on her face. She needed that more than anyone. She’s been coming in last a lot, and after the announcements this morning, it was made clear there was no way she was going to be granted immunity.

  “How the hell did you do that?” I ask Jace as he takes a seat on the other side of Gage.

  “Do what?” he asks, taking a giant swig of water as he struggles to catch his breath.

  “Um, not break the egg when you climbed the rope. It’s not possible.”

  “Sure, it is. But a magician never shares his tricks.”

  Gage grunts and pushes himself off the grass, walking away without so much as a goodbye.

  “How’d you guys make out? Is he being an ass today?”

  “Not as much as he usually is. We did okay, I think. We broke all our eggs right away and took off in a sprint. I know we beat a few of the teams, but I’d be surprised if we took first. I have a feeling that will be you and Courtney. You guys breezed through and didn’t take any penalty seconds like the rest of us.”

  “You’re welcome to share the winners’ circle with me if you want.” He scoots closer to me and lowers his voice so only I can hear what he says next. “Or you can be my prize. I’ll take you over immunity any day. I have a feeling you’re the gift that keeps on giving.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Day 14

  Going into the final day of the mock Olympics, I’m more nervous than I expected I’d be. I care more than I thought I would. It really shouldn’t matter if I win or lose, but with an elimination looming tomorrow, the stakes feel high. I’m not ready to go home yet.

  I don’t think any of us are.

  This week has had its highs and lows, but at the heart of all of it, it’s been fun. Competing against each other. Teaming up. Getting to know the guys. Even when I didn’t win, I felt like I was winning because I made a new friend. Well, except Gage, who seems to not want to be friends with anyone.

  The games are starting early today. Again, it sounds simple, a relay race, but after everything I’ve seen this week, I guarantee it will be anything but. I’m paired with Drake for the final competition. His chances of winning immunity are slim. He was toward the bottom of the list before yesterday’s event, and with as well as Lennon and Jace performed, I can only imagine one is going to run away with the prize.

  It’s great for me considering I’m not sure what I would do if either of them left. It’s bound to happen eventually. Either I’ll be voted off or one of them will. Still, I’d like that to be further in the future than tomorrow.

  Drake knocks on my door before letting himself in. I’m still sipping on my first cup of coffee, fresh out of the shower.

  “You look exhausted,” I say as he plops down on the sofa, resting his head against the cushion.

  “Assholes kept me up all night,” he retorts, his eyes still closed.

  “Which assholes?”

  “My guess would be Milo and Natasha considering the noise.”

  Noise? Right. If that’s what he wants to call it.

  “At least someone is having fun,” I mutter as I take another sip.

  Drake smirks but doesn’t open his eyes. “If that’s all you want, I’d be happy to offer you my services.”

  I let out a chuckle, flicking him in his ear as I walk by. “I’ll keep that in mind. Give me ten minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”

  “Take your time. I’m going to try and sneak in a little nap.”

  I watch as he attempts to lie on the tiny sofa, then close the door to my room behind me so I can change. His knees are resting on the arm of the couch, everything below the knee hanging off the edge, proving just how small it is in comparison to him. The image brings a smile to my face, and I get ready to take on today.

  We were each given a list of random things to bring with us.

  The girls: high heels and a hairbrush.

  The guys: a tie.

  My mind runs wild with ideas of how the items will fit into today’s event, a relay race. I have a feeling I’ll be wearing the heels, but I can’t discount the idea they might be for Drake instead. That would make things more interesting.

  Watching Drake sleep for a few minutes after I’m dressed and ready, I study his unique features. I haven’t spent much time with him, with Jace and Lennon having cornered me from the beginning. He’s just as gorgeous as the rest of the guys. A little quieter than everyone except Callen. Always polite, and when he does speak up, he tends to be telling jokes.

  At first, I thought Gage was going to be the funny one. Always spouting off witty remarks at the drop of the hat. And he was until his demons came out to play. Now it’s Drake’s turn, taking over the spotlight of comedian in our little group. A group that’s going to be smaller tomorrow night.

  The thought makes me sad. I really hope he’s safe from elimination. He has a way about him that always brings a smile to my face. He lights up a room when he walks in just by being his goofy self, and I doubt I’m the only one that feels that way.

  Pushing lightly against his shoulder, I whisper Drake’s name a few times with no response. Moving around the couch to stand in front of him, I try again, and this time I’m rewarded with two beautiful blue eyes staring up at me. Right before he pulls me down on top of him and wraps me in a hug.

  “Let’s forfeit and stay like this all day,” he says against my neck.

  My legs are tangled with his. My hands press against the couch on either side of his head. When I attempt to move so I can stand, I hear him suck in a breath and let out a little curse. That’s when I realize where my knee is resting.

  “Don’t move,” he hisses. “I want to have kids someday, and you’re awfully close to killing that dream.”

  I can’t help but chuckle. “I’m going to slide down. You stay still so I don’t accidentally cause more damage.”

  Gripping my hips, Drake gently lifts me off him without warning, my knee flying forward, grazing his sensitive area.

  “I’m so sorry,” I say once I’m on my feet.

  “No reason to be. I’m the idiot that pulled you down on top of me,” he replies, pushing himself off the couch and shooting me a wink. “Plus, all you did was rub against me, and now I’m going to be fighting a raging hard-on for the next hour.”

  “I thought I damaged the goods?” I protest, jutting out my hip and resting my hand there. He made me think I’d kneed him in the balls when really, I’d only grazed them and turned him on.

  “If your knee had gone any higher”—he leans down and whispers in my ear—“we’d be having a different conversation. I’ll take a hard-on over crippling pain any day, especially when I was halfway there already just by smelling you. Why do you think I pulled you on top of me in the first place?”

  Well, fuck me. I didn’t even put perfume on. He’s either smelling my deodorant or my shampoo. And he likes it.

  Taking a step back before I add Drake to the list of guys I’ve kissed, he nods his head in understanding and opens the door for me, placing his hand on the small of my back as I walk past. He keeps it there all the way to the lawn where we’re expected to meet.

  We’re already five minutes late when I realize I forgot my items back at the villa. Drake sprints off, returning a few minutes later out of breath with my stuff and his tie in hand. Well, aren’t we a perfect pair?

  “Now that everyone is here,” Ed begins, shooting daggers at Drake and me. “Here’s how today’s competition is going to go.”

  The course is basic. Which you would think is great until Ed explains how our items come into play.

  The guys are coaching the girls through the course. We’re blindfolded with their ties, in high heels, using the hairbrush as a baton to pass off. As soon as we reach the end of the course, we switch places, coaching the guys as they race the course in high heels, blindfolded. The kicker, our hands are going to be tied together
with rope, making it harder to switch places.

  “Just focus on getting to the end as fast as you can. We’ll figure out how to swap once we’re there. Deal?” Drake asks as we stand side by side, waiting for someone to come and wrap each of our wrists with rope. I already have his navy-blue tie wrapped around my head. It’ll rest above my eyebrows until it’s time for us to run the race.

  “The first part looks easy enough,” I say as I stare at the orange cones they’ve set out on the grass. “All I have to do is weave around them, right?”

  “Yup. It looks like they’re numbered. The second part is going to be harder. I’ll try and give you the best instructions I can. I don’t want you to fall on your ass.”

  Yeah, easier said than done. They expect me to walk up a wooden ramp and back down the other side. Blindfolded. In heels. I can barely walk in heels on a normal day.

  “The last obstacle looks simple, but I have a feeling it’s not going to be. All I can see are four Hula-Hoops and a large cone. I think you have to stack them, but I won’t be able to know until we get closer.”

  Oh, great. Picking up things, with bound hands, and putting them somewhere else. All while walking in the grass with two-inch spikes.

  Someone is going to break their ankle. That someone is probably going to be me.

  We’re shuffled into the barn after our wrists are bound. The teams are going one at a time and we’re not allowed to watch. It would be nice to see how others complete the course. I enjoyed going first yesterday and watching what the other teams did to try and make good time. Today, we’re the last team.

  Which means I’m standing in the barn, impatiently waiting as the rest of the teams are called. Jace and Bella are up first. He attempts to wave at me with his bound hands as he walks out the large doors. Milo and Teegan are next. There’s a bit of shouting coming from outside and it makes me wonder if it’s Jace cheering them on or ragging on them. One by one, everyone else is called to participate until it’s only Lennon and Courtney standing next to Drake and me.

  “Good luck,” I holler after them when their names are called.

  “You’re gonna need it,” Drake teases, and Lennon rewards him with two middle fingers before he blows me a kiss.

  “What do you see in him? I have to know.”

  Drake’s question catches me off guard. Probably because I never really gave it much thought.

  “He’s sweet. I don’t know. Why?”

  “Because you’re all he talks about when the guys are alone. Jace, too. They’re staking their claim on you. We’re not even allowed to look because they’re convinced it’s going to be one of them. Almost like their teaming up against the rest of us.”

  “That’s ridiculous. That’s not how the game is played,” I snort.

  “Is that what this is to you? A game? Because if that’s the case, you might want to let them in on it. I think they’re taking this more seriously than you are.”

  I hear the warning in his voice. Before I can reply, our name is called and we’re walking out of the barn toward the course. Everyone else is sitting off to the side, ready to see how we do. I’m suddenly more nervous than I’ve been all week and am relieved when Drake pulls the blindfold over my eyes.

  “Listen for my voice, block everything else out. Okay?” I nod and then I’m moving. Following the sound of his voice. Taking directions. We breeze through the first obstacle. I’m dizzy and disoriented as we move to the platform. Taking a breath, I count to five to get my bearings and then walk up the platform and carefully down the other side.

  “Good job, let’s keep going,” Drake encourages, but my next step isn’t as graceful as I had hoped, and I go down hard.

  Drake attempts to help me back up, but I can’t seem to get my balance.

  “I need to take the blindfold off. I think I’m going to puke,” I finally say, overwhelmed with dizziness.

  The blindfold is ripped from my head, but I keep my eyes closed as I lurch to the side, my stomach expelling the coffee I had for breakfast. When I finally sit back up, there’s a bottle of water being handed to me and Jace is crouched down in front of me. He dabs at my mouth with a napkin as I take a sip of water.

  My eyes don’t leave his as he slips my feet out of the heels and tosses them aside. Two strong hands wrap around me, lifting me off the ground. Once I’m on my feet and steady, I turn to find Drake behind me, Lennon next to him, and everyone else behind them.

  Wow! I’ve made a fool of myself. Just great.

  Ed’s standing off to the side shaking his head as if I did it on purpose. What an ass.

  “Forfeit?” Drake asks, whispering in my ear. I nod my head once, and he hands me off to Lennon before walking over to talk to Ed.

  “You gave us a scare, you know that?” Lennon asks, wrapping his arm around my waist protectively.

  “Well, I just wanted to keep you on your toes, that’s all,” I attempt to joke, but as I look from him to Jace and back again, I can see they don’t find my comment humorous.

  Once we’re all back together in the barn, Ed congratulates us on a job well done for the week. They’re hosting an Olympic-themed party tonight at the pool, where they are going to explain how things are going to work for our first official vote tomorrow.

  Once we’re released for the afternoon, I start gathering my things when I realize I don’t have my heels. Jace is dangling them in front of me but when I try to take them, he pulls them back and grabs my hand instead.

  “I think I’ll walk you back to your villa. Make sure you don’t fall over again,” he states, giving my hand a little squeeze.

  “I can walk, you know. It’s just harder when I’m in two-inch heels and blindfolded on the grass. Not something I’ve practiced before.” I sound defensive when, I should be grateful he cares.

  “Why are you trying to kill my excuse for getting you alone?”

  Oh, that’s what he’s doing? My bad.

  “Do you really need an excuse?” I tease.

  “No, but I wanted to make sure I got to you before Lennon did. The bastard keeps stealing you away when I’m not looking.”

  “And so, what . . . you wanted to one-up him? Is that what this is?” Raising an eyebrow at my comment, Jace doesn’t respond, he only smirks.

  It’s not until we reach my door that he finally breaks the silence.

  “If he wasn’t here, you would already be mine. I know that for a fact. I see the way you look at me. It’s the same way I look at you. But he is here, and that’s where things get tricky because you two are looking at each other too. It’s different, though. I think, sometimes, it’s more. The way you look at him. It makes me wonder if I even have a chance.”

  Is it more? The way I look at Lennon? Or is Jace seeing things because he’s afraid of losing?

  “A chance? Jace, you are amazing. Handsome, sweet, sexy. I’d be an idiot not to give you a chance, but that doesn’t mean I’m not giving someone else one as well.” I don’t have to say Lennon’s name for him to know exactly who I’m talking about. “I have no idea how this is going to go, but I won’t lie. If you stopped trying, I’d be disappointed.”

  “Presley,” he says, grabbing my hips and pulling me close so his forehead rests against mine. “I’m a great many things, but the one thing I’m not is a quitter.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Day 15

  Elimination day.

  To say my nerves are shot is the understatement of the decade. After quitting yesterday, I pretty much guaranteed I wasn’t going to be granted immunity. Which means there’s a chance I’m going to be sent home tonight.

  The thought causes a chill to run up my spine as I curl up on the couch, taking a sip of coffee. It burns my lip, but that doesn’t stop me from drinking it. It’s almost noon, and I just woke up, this week’s festivities finally catching up with me.

  Last night was no different.

  After Jace walked me back to my villa, he wanted to watch a movie. If I let him in, watch
ing a movie would be the last thing we did, so I turned him down. Which only made him press harder for some alone time with me. I love his fighting spirit, but after making an ass of myself in front of everyone, I wanted to be alone for a while. Promising Jace I would meet up with him at the party last night, he reluctantly left.

  I was confused as hell about what I was doing. Who I wanted to be with. If I even wanted to be with one of them. Because this is TV. The last thing I really want is my relationship aired for the entire world to see.

  Which got me thinking about Wren. Wondering what he’s up to right now. Wondering if he was watching the show. If he even knew I was a participant. If he cared.

  Not that I should care, but I can’t help it. He was my life, my universe, for so long. I thought my future was with him. The house, kids, everything. It revolved around him. And then in the blink of an eye, it didn’t.

  No, I’m not over him. No, I don’t want to get under someone else to get over him. Especially with all the watchful eyes, and cameras, around here. Not exactly ideal.

  After an hour or so I cleaned myself up, ate a small snack, and then headed down to the pool. The sun had long sunk beneath the horizon, blanketing me in darkness except for the occasional lamp post along the path’s edge. So as I rounded the corner and came in contact with a hard body, I screamed out in terror only to be pulled into the garden with a hand over my mouth.

  My heart pounded against my chest as arms wrapped tightly around me. When his scent wafted across the breeze, my body sagged against his for a brief second before I turned and smacked him in the bicep, causing him to chuckle.

  “You scared the shit out of me,” I stated, stepping out of his embrace and crossing my arms over my chest.

  I was wearing a low-cut tank top that already gave him a great view of my breasts. With my arms crossed, I was afraid they were going to pop out and make a full appearance. Still, I held my ground, glaring at him even though he couldn’t see my face.