by Lynn VanDorn
Tyler crawled upward toward consciousness enough to say, “I thought you weren't ready for this level of coursework.”
He felt Josh’s lips against his ear as he murmured, “Just go to sleep.”
Tyler knew he wouldn't now. He never slept entangled with another person. He'd always been a light sleeper, and the older he got, the less he liked or tolerated being touched while he tried to sleep. It was virtually impossible for him to relax this close to another person.
He was too exhausted to protest, though. Tyler decided he'd stay put until Josh fell asleep, then he'd slip out and find the bedroom he'd claimed earlier. For now, he lay in Josh’s arms, listening to his soft breathing, let his mind drift, and dozed, knowing that Josh’s first snore would be enough to wake him.
–—
Sunday, September 18th, 6:32 a.m.
Josh’s bedroom in an unnecessarily large rental house
Blue Lake, WI
When Tyler woke to misty morning light, it was as he usually did, sprawled half on his side and half on his stomach, legs curved, his right arm underneath his pillow and his left curled in front with his hand under his chin. What wasn't usual was the large warm body draped over his, morning wood pressing against his ass.
Tyler eyed the digital clock by the bed. It was early, just after 6:30 a.m. He thought he'd get up, make coffee, and regroup, but edging out of bed went nowhere. Josh was heavily asleep and just plain heavy. Abandoning subtlety, Tyler heaved on the arm and chest that pinned him down, using his own body for leverage. Josh flopped onto his back, but his arm tightened around Tyler, and he was hauled backward until he rested on Josh’s chest with his face shoved into the crook of Josh’s neck.
“It's too early. Go back to sleep,” Josh mumbled, hanging onto Tyler like he was a damned stuffed animal.
“If you don't let me go,” Tyler said, “I'm going to bite you.”
“Shh. Sleep.”
Tyler opened his mouth and put his teeth on Josh’s throat. He’d intended on sinking them in just enough to prove a point but was distracted by Josh’s response, which was to go from sleepy torpor to rigid attention in less than five seconds. Josh let out a small moan, and the erection that lay along Tyler’s thigh twitched.
Coffee didn't seem so important now. Tyler sat up, then straddled Josh’s waist. Josh had his eyes shut tight and was biting his lip, but he brought his hands up to cradle Tyler's hips. Josh had beautiful hands. Large, with long tapered fingers, and strong, but they held onto Tyler like he was fragile. Tyler rolled his hips so Josh’s erection slid along his pajama-clad ass. Underneath him, Josh shuddered.
Tyler felt a rush jolt through him. His cock ached, but he ignored it for the moment. It could wait. He slid down Josh’s body, over his erection, and down his legs. Josh had gone to bed in a t-shirt and shorts, and Tyler thought that was way too much clothing.
“Take off your shirt.”
Josh opened sleepy, bewildered eyes and looked at him like he'd spoken in a foreign language.
“Now,” he ordered.
Something sparked in Josh’s eyes and his lips formed a crooked half-smile. He sat up and slowly peeled off his shirt, then tossed it aside. Josh started to lean toward Tyler, but he was stopped by one finger pushing on his chest.
“Lie down,” Tyler said. Josh obeyed, all those lovely abdominal muscles first contracting, then relaxing. Josh’s chest was nearly enough to distract Tyler, but he contented himself with running his index finger from the ridge of Josh’s Adam’s apple down to his navel. Josh squirmed under the touch, his skin flushing, and his responsiveness made Tyler’s cock throb harder.
Josh was gorgeous, full stop. Even in the morning. Maybe especially in the morning. His dark hair was a messy riot of loose curls. His eyes were warm and inviting like a hot drink on a cold day. Everything about him screamed, “take me,” and Tyler thought, don't mind if I do.
He scooted further down Josh’s legs and took a moment to appreciate them. They were long and lean and hard with muscle. Tyler remembered Josh had been a runner in high school, and he would bet money Josh was still a runner, with legs like those. He ran his hands lightly over the crisp hair on Josh’s thighs, eliciting a shiver from him, then Tyler pulled Josh’s shorts off and tossed them on top of his discarded shirt. His exposed erection was long and curved slightly up and to the left. It was dusky against the paler skin of his abdomen, the head glistening with precum, and it made Tyler’s mouth water. He bent down and licked at the salty fluid with just the tip of his tongue. Josh let out an inarticulate growl and fisted his hands in the sheets. Tyler looked up at him along the length of his body and liked every inch he could see.
“I am going to suck your cock,” Tyler said, his voice pleasant and conversational. “I'm going to take it all the way down into my throat because I can. You are going to lie there and keep your hands to yourself.” The last three words were punctuated by small licks of his tongue along the vein that ran along the underside of Josh’s cock. “Do you understand?”
Josh groaned and his hands clutched the sheet tighter.
Tyler leaned down and took Josh’s cock into his mouth, easing it down his throat until his lips brushed the black hair curled around its base. He swallowed around it and hummed a little. Everyone liked humming, and Josh was no exception.
Josh bucked under him and let out a gusty breath. “Oh God, oh God, I…”
Tyler pulled up with exquisite slowness, applying suction as he did. Then he swallowed Josh’s cock again and got down to business, although in his case it was all pleasure. Tyler adored giving head. He loved the movement and the wet, obscene noise, and the feeling of fullness and stretched lips. He enjoyed the taste and smell and the texture of cocks—salty and musky, smooth and silky, hard and hot, sweet and bitter. It had been a long time since he'd given a blow job without a barrier between him and the other man, and this was so much better than sucking over latex. There was something about that thought that bothered him, but he shoved it down where it wouldn't interfere with how fantastic this was, because what Tyler craved, even more than the smell, or the taste, or even the sensation, was the reaction he got. Getting a man to the point of babbling incoherence using just his mouth was what he needed, maybe even more than his own release, and Josh fed into all of that with every moan, sigh, and twitch of his body.
Josh was a treat. He bore his arousal so beautifully, keeping himself mostly still as he'd been directed with his fists at his sides, clutching the sheet, his back slightly bowed, his breath coming out in short pants. He was quiet, though, and Tyler thought they should remedy that.
He pulled his mouth off Josh’s cock and curled his hand around the base. Josh gasped, “Please, don't… don't…”
Tyler pumped Josh firmly and tongued the head. “Don't what?”
“Don't stop. Suck me, please.”
“Like this?” Tyler sucked him in deep again.
“Oh God, yes, please, please.”
Tyler lifted his head again, eliciting a plaintive moan from the man underneath him. “I want to hear you, Josh.”
“Please!” Josh raised the volume of his voice several notches. It wasn't quite a shout, but it was close.
A thrill shot through Tyler and went right to his aching erection and balls, making his body squirm involuntarily. He went back to concentrating on sucking Josh’s dick while his hand caressed Josh’s tightened sac, his short, manicured nails lightly scoring along it. Tyler could sense Josh was close to coming. Very close now. His loud cries were music to Tyler’s ears.
“I'm going to come, please, I'm going to—” Josh’s voice grew raspy.
Tyler held Josh’s hips as he bucked helplessly. His cum flooded Tyler’s mouth and throat and it was a pleasing mix of salty and bitter, with an edge of sweetness. It figured that Josh even had semen that tasted good. Dr. Sensible probably had an excellent diet, smoked sausages and marshmallows aside. Josh lay beneath him, his chest heaving, looking wrecked. Tyler wanted to crawl up h
is body and mark him, bite him, somehow declare ownership. Mine. It seemed fitting with the taste of Josh in his mouth.
That thought stopped him in his tracks, and he sat back on his heels. Oh, shit. What did I just do? We’re supposed to have a fake relationship. Not real. No one should be possessing anyone else. No matter how cute their bed head might be or how good their jizz tastes and oh, shit, I should not know what Josh Rosen’s jizz tastes like. Fuck.
He'd just spontaneously blown his brother's more or less ex-boyfriend. So not right. Tyler’s adrenaline high crashed and he was smacked in the face with unpleasant reality. He and Josh weren't in a relationship, and he'd had no right or business doing to Josh what he'd just done.
Tyler didn't know what he'd been thinking—sex with Josh this morning wasn’t required to further the plan. He’d lost his flinchy politeness in Tyler’s company by the time they’d gone to bed. Enough that Josh would've been able to hold his hand and even kiss him in public today without being freaked out. The blow job this morning had been stupid, reckless, and above all, unnecessary.
We were doing fine with option four but I couldn't leave things alone because, let's be honest, I've wanted to blow Josh Rosen since I was a teenager, and at the first opportunity I took what I wanted without even asking. Classy, Tyler, as always. Way to go.
“Shit,” he muttered to himself.
“What?” Josh asked.
“Um… so. That was a thing that just happened.”
“Tyler?” Josh propped himself up on his elbows to look at him. He was frowning. Crap.
Tyler wasn't sure what to say. First you got me to strip naked in bright light, which I don't do, then you were relentlessly nice to me, and then you tucked me into bed. You didn't even snore on me. So, in return, I used your admittedly amazing body so I could live out a teenaged fantasy. I'm sorry. Is there a Hallmark card for that? “I shouldn't have done that,” he said. “I'm sorry. It was a huge mistake. Which I'm good at making. Naturally. So. Crap. I'll just shut up now and leave you alone and go take a shower.”
Well, that’s just great. One blow job and I've turned into a complete idiot. It's middle school all over again, like when I sucked off Justin Davis and thought it was true love forever. Tyler cringed at the memory of Justin beating the shit out of him to make him stop following Justin around like a lovesick stalker. He wasn't sure what had hurt more at the time—Justin’s rejection or his fists.
On the heels of that fabulous memory came the stark realization that Tyler had just sucked off a man and let him, no, held him down and made him come in his mouth. No condom. And while Tyler knew, thanks to mother hennish Brad, that it was far less risky than raw anal, it was still something Tyler didn't do. Not on a first date, at any rate.
But Josh isn't a stranger. I've known him my whole life.
Bullshit. Tyler knew Josh, but he didn't know him, other than from the family gossip that trickled his way, mostly through Brad. He racked his brain for bits and pieces of stray information to try and reassure himself that what he’d just done wasn't as boneheaded as his wiser self knew it to be.
Nothing Brad had ever said indicated Josh was anything other than boring, responsible, dependable, and still stuck on Ryan. He didn't seem like the type of guy who would blow his wad in another guy’s mouth without warning him of the potential danger, if said potential danger existed. No. If Josh had anything, he would've said so right off the bat, Tyler was sure. Well, fairly sure.
Things are fine. You’re fine. Probably fine. Maybe fine. Right. Fine.
What he wasn't sure about was how Josh was going to react now that his orgasm was over, and his brain caught up with the idea that it had been delivered by the wrong brother.
Tyler looked at Josh, whose expression had gone dark and threatening like a smoking volcano. Tyler didn't think he would react with violence, but he wasn't completely certain of that any more than he was certain Josh was disease-free, so Tyler decided discretion was the better part of valor and fled the room. He wished with a desperate fervor that he already had his phone so he could talk to Purvi. She was bound to know the etiquette for this type of situation. If nothing else, she'd call him a dumbass, then remind him that she loved him.
Unable to contact Purvi, Tyler made a beeline for the shower. Still hard despite everything, he jerked himself off while letting hot water beat down on his shoulders. Pretty much any satisfaction was ruined by guilt and worry, especially since flashes of Josh kept intruding. It was enough to make Tyler wish he had a blade handy, but his only option was cuticle scissors and he wasn't that desperate, so he finished washing and braced himself to deal with his brand-new fake boyfriend, who he'd just used like a very elaborate sex toy without regard to any potential consequences or Josh’s feelings.
Tyler stood in the shower and banged his head against the white marble, wishing he could go back in time and make the previous hour not have happened. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day.
Chapter 13
Josh Considers Throwing Tyler Back into the Lake
Sunday, September 18th, 7:10 a.m.
Josh’s bedroom in an unnecessarily large rental house
Blue Lake, WI
Josh decided he was in favor of any morning that started out with an unexpected blow job, especially one given by a bossy elf with blue hair. It hadn't occurred to him that Tyler would be toppy, but it probably should have. Everything he'd seen thus far screamed of someone who craved control. There was no reason to think sex would be any different. At any rate, both Josh and his dick had approved. Even the part of him that had been all for keeping things platonic had been silent while Tyler sucked his dick. Josh was congratulating himself on what a great decision he'd made by not taking Tyler back to his own bed last night, when the man opened his mouth and ruined Josh’s morning.
“I shouldn't have done that.”
There was Lucy, that little bitch, snatching the football away again. Josh felt a familiar wave of frustration crash into him. History was repeating itself. He was back to presuming things, only this time with a different brother, and it was unfair because it wasn’t like he'd asked for oral sex this morning. It had just sort of… happened to him, and he'd gone along with it with enthusiasm. As Tyler had blown him, he'd thought that the next few months might have compensations unrelated to the shit-ton of money he had no intention of taking, no matter what Tyler and Rachel thought. He'd pictured sex with Tyler in every room in his condo, because why not? Then Tyler answered the question for him.
“It was a huge mistake.”
With every man he'd been with since Ryan, Josh had been the one pursued. Men, and even some women, threw lures at him all the time. Generally, he ignored them because he often wasn't interested, and when he did show interest, the men chased him, not the other way around. Josh hadn't gone after anyone since Ryan, because he hadn't cared about anyone enough to bother. The last time he'd really put himself out there had been that disastrous day almost fifteen years ago when he'd gambled and lost by trying to force Ryan's hand, and that day he’d sworn off men who didn't want him. Yet here he was, again, with expectations regarding a Chadwick, and here he was, again, being shut down.
Josh buried his head under a pillow, flooded with embarrassment and irritation. He couldn't hide forever, though, so he got up, put on his discarded clothes, made the bed, then stomped off to use one of the other unoccupied bathrooms. Afterward he went to the kitchen, still stomping like a petulant child, and poured himself a bowl of Raisin Bran that he had a hard time choking down. Josh had agreed to endure months of Tyler’s company. Tyler would be in his home, underfoot, inescapable, and Josh would be in his old, uncomfortable position of wanting when he wasn't wanted back. And again, like it had been with Ryan, Josh hadn't even started it. He was beginning to think there was something wrong with the Chadwick boys, or at least two-thirds of them. It made him wish that he hadn't rashly decided to help one of them to spite the other, for what little good that had done him.
Josh stirred his mushy cereal and felt acid burn in his throat. Ryan hadn't wanted him because he wasn't female. Tyler didn't want him because… well, there were so many possibilities there. Far too many to nail down just one. Maybe he was too old, or dull, or just not Tyler’s type, whatever that might be. Probably this morning’s blow job was some sort of obligatory, then instantly regretted, pity fuck.
There had been something in Tyler’s voice right before he'd left to take a shower. Some note of obvious chagrin that even Josh’s blood-starved and sex-addled brain had caught. Tyler hadn't just left the room this morning; he'd fled like it was the morning after an awkward and poorly thought out one-night stand.
Oh, and here's a fun thought. What if he's doing more than showering in there?
Josh could picture Tyler in the bathroom carving a line on his hip or thigh that had Josh’s name on it. He'd promised he wouldn't do it anymore, but Josh held few illusions that the promise would be kept. Breaking away from any type of self-harm was, while possible, very difficult. Tyler, even with all the best intentions in the world, would start cutting again. It was pretty much inevitable, and Josh had no idea how much or little it would take to trigger him to cut. Like he’d said last night, Tyler was a minefield, and Josh hadn't the first idea where it was safe to step.
Josh wondered how many of those new lines he'd end up seeing, how many more Tyler would hide from him, and how many of them would be because of him. It made him feel ill, but even the nausea didn't stop the frustrated want that coursed through him. Josh still wanted Tyler, even with the very real possibility that Tyler didn't and wouldn't ever want him back.