by Lynn VanDorn
“That’s none of your business,” Josh snapped.
“You just came in my mouth, so, yeah, I kinda think it is my business,” Tyler said, his tone light but his posture tense.
Josh thawed. “If it was an issue I would've stopped you and said something, I swear.”
Tyler gave him a hard look, then nodded once.
Josh ran a hand through his hair. “Tyler, I really don't want you to have sex with me just because you think it's what I want. That’s… awful.”
Tyler squinted at him. “Isn't that why most people have sex?”
“No, Tyler, they don't. Most people have sex because both parties, except in your case, where one must allow for the possibility of an extra person, mutually wish to have sex with the other person. The mutual part is key.”
Tyler laughed, and it sounded like he was genuinely amused. “Did you just try to slut shame me, Josh? I think you did, but luckily for you I'm feeling tolerant right now. Anyway, here's a newsflash for you: I did not suck your dick this morning out of pity or charity or what-the-fuck-ever you're thinking. For the record, I sucked your dick, you moron, because you’re handsome and you were nice to me and I wanted to and also because you have a nice dick. I felt bad afterward because I thought I'd taken advantage of you, and believe it or not, I don't make a habit of randomly sucking men off without a condom or their consent. I do have some standards.”
Josh leaned his head back. So, if Tyler was to be believed, this morning had been an aberration for him. Interesting. He'd have to consider that later and decide what it meant, if anything. In the meantime, he wanted to address the issue that seemed to be bothering Tyler the most. “My consent should have been obvious when I followed your royal decrees, Tyler. If I hadn't been with the program, I'd have told you to get off my dick. I could've stopped you at any time, had I wanted to. Hell, I could probably pick you up and throw you across a room. You weigh hardly anything. You're tiny.”
Tyler frowned. “I am not tiny.”
“My sister is taller than you, Mr. Five-Foot-Eight-and-Three-Quarters.”
“Your sister,” Tyler growled, “is an Amazon and an unfair comparison. She's like Wonder Woman if she'd taken up accounting.”
Josh snorted a laugh. “Thanks for that image. I needed that. I want you to know that this has been one of the most uncomfortable conversations I have ever had in my entire life, surpassed only by confessing my love for your brother and telling my parents I was gay.”
Tyler held his arms up while he hummed the theme from Rocky.
“God, I hate you.” Josh shut his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Tyler gloating at him.
“No, you don't.” Tyler cackled. “I have your number now. You think I'm fuckable and you’re helping me despite being given several opportunities to back out. You’re a knight in shining armor, just looking for a dragon to slay and, as irritating as I would normally find that, I've decided to overlook it, at least for now.”
“I take it back. I don't hate you. I loathe you.”
Josh felt a finger run up and down his arm. “Just how much do you loathe me?”
Josh opened his eyes and Tyler had done something, God knew what, and had put on his “I want to eat you like a hot fudge sundae” face. It was the same expression he'd been wearing that morning when Josh had opened his eyes to see Tyler straddling him. It was a dangerous look.
“Put that away,” Josh said. “It's lethal.”
“What?” Tyler opened his eyes wide in mock innocence.
“Stop it. You look like a cross between the big bad wolf and a lovesick teenager. It's weird.”
“You like weird,” Tyler shifted closer.
“No, I don't,” Josh said and it sounded unconvincing even to his ears. “I am boring with a capital B. I have a type that I stick to and you are not that type.”
Tyler rearranged his legs so he was kneeling on his seat. “Maybe, but for some reason I turn you on. Despite being me. And not your type. And not my brother.”
Josh swallowed. “You need get over this Ryan obsession you have.”
Tyler leaned into him. “So do you.”
“You know, that's why I’m here. Not in this car. Here in Wisconsin. I came here to get over Ryan once and for all.”
Tyler ran his index finger along Josh’s jaw, then turned his face so Josh had to look at him. “How's that working out for you?” he asked.
“Pretty well until your morning freak-out,” Josh said.
Tyler waved his hand. “Unnecessary attack of conscience,” he corrected. “I can help you work on your issues. Think of fucking me as being therapy. Only more fun and much cheaper.”
“No one ever screwed their way into better mental health,” Josh said. “I know. I’ve tried.”
“Okay, how about we have sex because we both want to?”
“Just like that? I've known you, the adult you, all of two days now.” Josh gave Tyler what he knew was a smug grin.
A slow smile spread over Tyler’s face. It made him look heartbreaking. Josh knew it was all a facade and he still felt the irresistible pull of that smile.
“Yeah,” Tyler said, his voice husky. He leaned forward and ghosted a kiss on Josh’s cheek like he had yesterday. “Why not?” His lips barely touched Josh’s jaw. “You think I'm hot.” Lips grazed his neck. “I think you're hot.” Tyler’s thumb ran along Josh’s bottom lip. “We’re both single.” Tyler cradled Josh’s jaw, licked his lip, then bit it. “I’m negative and you implied you were, too. Are you?”
It took a few seconds for Josh’s brain to process that. “Um, yeah. If you need proof, I can get it for you.”
Tyler sat back, seductive face gone and amused one back in place. “Of course you can. I don't know why I was ever worried. You're the poster boy for responsibility and Brad can vouch for me. There’s no reason we can’t fuck each other silly during this whole…” Tyler waved his hand around, “…charade.”
“This is, by far, the strangest proposition I've ever received. You want to be longtime acquaintances with benefits?”
“Yes,” Tyler said, “but I have high hopes to upgrade to friends with benefits at some point. You're fun. I think I'm going to like you. No, scratch that. I already like you.”
“I’ll think about it,” Josh said.
“Let me help you make up your mind.” Tyler slithered onto Josh’s lap, which was fine, if unexpected, until his ass hit the car horn. Josh’s hand scrambled for the power seat button, then made the seat go back as far as it could, which was just enough to stop the honking. Meanwhile, he had a lapful of Tyler, who was convulsed with laughter.
“Be my fake boyfriend and have actual sex with me,” Tyler said, between what Josh uncharitably thought were not particularly masculine giggles. “Come on, it'll be fun, I promise. At least before the inevitable heartbreak and tears, but we can worry about those later.”
“Heartbreak and tears?” Josh ran his hands up and down Tyler’s back. He was a little fuzzy on how he'd gone from wanting to strangle the man on his lap to wanting instead to just touch him all over, but his hands had already decided they were down with that development.
“Oh, yeah,” Tyler said. “That’s when I go back home to the West Coast and crush your delicate little spirit, leaving you shivering in chilly Illinois, a hollow shell of a man who is unable to even look at another pretty boy without suffering pangs of thwarted, frustrated longing. It will be very sad.”
“I think I'll manage to struggle through somehow,” Josh said, and kissed him. “And you can keep California all to yourself. I lived there for four years and wasn't a fan. I'll stick with chilly Illinois, thanks all the same.”
“California is awesome and you're clearly insane to prefer Illinois,” said Tyler, then kissed him back, slowly, sweetly, like a lover would. “Keep that in mind when you start to pine for my very fine ass.”
Josh cupped that very fine ass in both hands and groaned when Tyler pulled back to scatter small kisses down his jaw an
d neck. “Okay, fine, I surrender. You win. Congratulations, Tyler. We can go out in public and they will see you and one extremely horny boyfriend. But you need to stop rubbing on me like a cat in heat or we’re going to have to go back so I can change my jeans, and we've already wasted enough time today.”
Tyler let out a frustrated huff, but he climbed off of Josh and buckled himself back into the passenger seat. “We are going to need to buy lube and condoms,” he said. “Lots.”
“Whatever you say, your highness,” Josh said, and started the car. “Let's do this thing.”
Tyler reached over and grabbed his right hand as Josh started to shift from park to reverse. He gave it a squeeze, then released it.
“Thank you,” he said, and Josh thought that he might be sincere, but with Tyler it was almost impossible for him to tell.
“Thank me later,” he said, backing onto the empty road.
“Oh, don't worry,” said Tyler. “I will.”
Chapter 14
Tyler Goes to Town
Sunday, September 18th, 10:20 a.m.
Horrible touristy shops and a phone store
Blue Lake, WI
“This isn't going to work. I’d forgotten how boring this place is.”
Blue Lake had a small downtown populated with touristy shops, specialty food stores, a few bars, and some restaurants. There were also several places that rented watercraft or took people on boat tours, but most of those were closed for the season. It was late morning and while the town wasn’t deserted, it wasn’t thronged either, and everyone Tyler had seen so far was at least forty years old and most were far older. He, and to a lesser extent Josh, stuck out, and not in a good way.
“It's off season,” Josh said, “but this place was never particularly interesting even in summer. Ryan and I used to come here and get ice cream sometimes, but mostly we stuck to exploring in the boat or swimming or hiking in the woods.”
Also fucking, Tyler thought. It’s a minor miracle neither one of you ever got poison ivy on an embarrassing place. “I have no idea what I'm doing here,” he said, looking at a store window display filled with rustic-esque knickknacks. End tables with bears painted on them. Table lamps where the base was a ceramic moose. There was a lot of plaid, and things with buttons glued on for obscure reasons, and pine cones. It was awful. He wanted to firebomb the place out of a sense of aesthetic decency.
“Why don't we go and get you a new phone?” Josh suggested. “Then you can call your publicist and figure something out.”
“Oh, thank God, yes.” At least at the phone store was unlikely to be decorated in plaid.
After getting back in the car Josh said, “You’re going to have to stop looking like you stepped in dog shit. It's not attractive.”
“I hate this place,” Tyler said. “But I'll work on my expression.”
Josh glanced at him for a second. “If you hate this place so much, then why did you come here?”
“I’ve always liked the lake house, but this town and the people, not so much. Here, I'm strange and wrong. Even as a kid I never fit in, not really. Ryan had you. Brad had a whole gang of kids that he ran with. Me? I had no friends. Who wants to be friends with the weird little boy who can’t keep up with the other kids his own age? I pretended I didn't care, was nasty and snide, which I excel at, and I got beat up a lot when Brad wasn't around.”
“I'm sorry,” Josh said, and Tyler thought he probably was. That crusader spirit of his likely wanted to figure out time travel and either be pals with poor little lonely Tyler or fight everyone who was mean to him, or both. That was cute, but not particularly helpful or even necessary.
“Forget about it. It taught me how to take a punch, and being a pariah to the other kids here was the least of my problems growing up. The main reason I hate Wisconsin is because of that shithole Bridges to Salvation existing in it.”
“Oh,” Josh said, and there was a wealth of meaning in that word. “You know, the entire state isn't responsible for that place.”
“My dislike doesn't have to be rational or fair. It just is. Besides, I don't see the rest of the state doing anything to make it go away. I think I'm justified in being pissed off for that reason alone.”
“Okay, I guess.” Josh sounded deeply disappointed, like Tyler had let him down in some way. Tyler wanted to growl at him and tell him to stop acting like his parent, but he locked his jaw and kept his mouth shut. He'd already had one stupid fight with Josh today and didn't have the will or energy for another.
“You know, the first place Dad sent me to, before Bridges, wasn't so bad as those places go. It was called Better Tomorrows, of all stupid-ass things, and was run by these religious hippy types. There were prayer circles and lots of hugging, because their theory was that we thought we were gay because our fathers hadn't given us enough affection as little kids or some shit. I don't think their theology or psychology was particularly sound. It was all kinds of fucked-up, but fairly benign in the grand scheme of things. I mean, it's hard to hate a place that uses hugging as therapy.”
“Hugging. They wanted you to hug away the gay. Your father paid money to send you to a place that thought homosexuality could be cured by hugging.”
A spontaneous giggle escaped from Tyler. It was funny in retrospect. “Yeah. I mean, there was also a lot of one-on-one counseling to try and convince you that being gay was something you could opt out of, and group sessions where we were encouraged to share our stories so we could all learn to rise above our baser urges, but also hugging. A surprising amount of hugging.”
“How does that even work?”
Tyler smirked at Josh. “Spoiler alert, it doesn't.”
“You know what I mean, Tyler.”
“Well, you’d be assigned to another dude and you’d stand there and hug each other.”
“That doesn't sound too terrible.”
Tyler shrugged one shoulder. “The worst part was getting paired with some other horny teenaged boy who was into you when you weren't into him. Having to hug and be hugged while simultaneously having an unwelcome boner rubbed into your stomach is awkward. Anyway, I had a pretty good thing going there. I'd act out just a little too much at home and then get a stint at Better Tomorrows. It was almost like a vacation. I could've kept that shit up until I graduated from high school, but I lost my temper.”
“You, lose your temper?”
Tyler gave Josh a side-eyed glance. “I know, it's shocking. One day when Dad pissed me off I made the mistake of taunting him, telling him their theory on why I was gay. He wasn't too thrilled with that, naturally, so that's why he picked Bridges for my next incarceration. Someone from church recommended it, probably. Bridges was definitely not run by hippies. They were more the ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ type.”
Josh didn't say anything, so Tyler looked over at him again. He just drove, silent and looking grim. “But I survived and that's all that matters,” Tyler finished, feeling like he needed to reassure Josh for some reason.
Josh clenched his jaw, then relaxed it. “Sure,” he said. He pulled up in front of the phone store and parked, but made no move to get out of the car.
“You all right?” Tyler asked.
“Yeah,” Josh said, although he looked ill. “Let's get you a new phone.”
When they walked inside the store, Tyler was happy to see it was a perfect example of corporate conformity. It soothed his soul somehow to see that even in this tourist trap some things resisted rustic woodsy twee cuteness. It made Tyler think that maybe there was hope for the world after all.
“Hi, can I help you? Omigod, you’re him, you’re him!” This was squealed with such delight that it startled Tyler enough to freeze him in place.
Standing at the kiosk right by the door was a boy so sparkly he might have been special ordered directly from Twinks R Us. His hair was bottle blond and styled into a gravity-defying quiff. He had big brown eyes highlighted by smoky shadow and expert eyeliner that Tyler couldn't help but admire,
a perfect smattering of freckles on his likewise perfect nose, and full, glossy lips. His nametag announced he was Arik, and if he was legal it was only by the skin of his shiny, white teeth. Seeing him was a little disorienting. They were still in Butt Fuck, Wisconsin, right?
Tyler rallied and threw on his most supercilious expression. “The guy who needs to get his phone replaced? Yeah, that would be me.”
“I'm sorry,” Arik said. “I know I'm being all gushy on you, but you were awesome in Blood and Water and the best in Pretty in Pink, the new one, obviously, and I just saw the new trailer online for The Silver Arrow which is my favorite book in the whole world and oh my God, your hair, you’re going to be the best Druindar and he is my absolute favorite. I totally ship him and Prince Florian, even if I know it's completely hopeless.” He let out a gusty sigh.
Tyler smiled with genuine pleasure. “Thank you,” he said, at once deciding that Arik deserved a hug and maybe a pony. He was adorable. “You’re right, by the way. Florian and Druindar can't possibly be a couple. His one true love is Sandor. Duh. You know those two are fucking in every broom closet in that stupid castle of his.”
Arik let out a snort of a laugh, then clapped a hand over his mouth. “I can't believe it's really you. And, well, I'm sorry about the whole sex video thing. People suck.”
Tyler’s face stilled as reality crashed down on this heretofore wonderful fan experience. “You saw the video?”
“Yeah, on Reddit the other day before the mods killed it. Just a gif, but damn. I mean, sorry. But,” he lowered his voice to a whisper, “you are like totally my hero now.”
Tyler stilled. “What?” What the actual fuck is wrong with people?
“I have no idea what you're doing in here in Blue Lake of all places, unless you like to fish,” Arik made a face that spoke to how doubtful he found that idea, “but maybe, if you get super bored, I could show you some of the prettier spots. If you don't have plans.”