Sister of Darkness

by R. H. Stavis

  As I’ve said throughout this book, people walk around in low-frequency spaces for many reasons. They experience traumatic events, they live in places or with people that make them feel awful, or they have something as simple as a bad day at work. Whatever the reason, our society accepts low frequency as one of its many norms. Getting into college is supposed to be stressful. It’s expected that you’re going to experience at least a dozen painful breakups before you meet the person of your dreams. Women go back to work after six weeks of maternity leave, full of fear and longing for their babies, because that’s just how it’s done. And sitting in gridlock is what you do if you need to be at work at 9 A.M. It’s a bleak, sad world out there, and only the long-suffering can survive—or so we’re conditioned to believe.

  Worse, most of us aren’t taught how to change our vibration because we don’t think about life in these terms. Unless you meditate regularly, have a spiritual practice, or step outside of yourself—and into Spirit—on a regular basis, you may not even realize that your thoughts are pure energy. They have power. If you are just going about your day, nose to the grindstone, you likely feel weak, with the weight of the world on your shoulders. Your only relief might be drinking, mindless eating, zoning out to television, or sleeping. These are brain-numbing activities that distract you from the world at large, and none of them tune you into Spirit. Instead, they turn you away from it.

  The first thing you need to do to combat that is realize: 1) Your feelings aren’t facts. I know I sound like a therapist here, but think about this carefully. If you’re hurting because of a breakup, that doesn’t mean the end of the relationship is, inherently, an awful thing. You just feel that way. Your emotions are entirely in your mind, but they may seep into every fiber of your being, causing you to believe that everything you think defines your life. And, because you understand them as facts, you believe you can’t change them. You have to trust that you’re more powerful than the tide of your emotions. 2) Your true feelings, those of your highest and best self, come from your Heart Space, not the mind. The mind is often fear based, while the heart is love based. We often confuse the fear-based thoughts with true emotion because the mind is always trying to live in the past or the future, which creates anxiety and fear. The Heart Space is about feeling in the moment and living presently. If people can distinguish between the two in the moment—actively feel from the Heart Space—they will be able to identify this for themselves. Finally, 3) Your emotions are energy, pure and simple, and to treat them any other way is to sell yourself short. Once you start realizing that what’s going on in your head is only frequency, you can begin understanding how you transfer that energy to the world around you, and everyone in it. If you’re feeling low, you radiate that energy signature. It fills up all the spaces surrounding you that hold energy—which is just about everything, everywhere.

  You can also cut through these many steps simply by employing transactional consciousness. That’s right; even if you’re experiencing something that’s keeping you low frequency, you can very convincingly not put that negativity out there—without betraying who you are or what you’ve experienced. And, in doing so, you raise your own frequency, which will inevitably change your feelings and your perception.

  The method is simple. All you have to do is act on something you normally wouldn’t. Go against what your instincts tell you to do and put forth a gesture that’s beneficial to another person. For example, buy food for the homeless person you normally pass by, thinking that any help you give will only enable them. Act against your impulses and make the decision that feeding that person, in that moment, will assist them.

  If you have a coworker you’ve never connected with, offer to bring her coffee one morning. If you see trash on the sidewalk, pick it up. Or if the person in front of you in the Chipotle line is holding everyone up because she can’t find fifty cents, just put down a dollar and tell her to keep the change. You don’t have to change the world. Just make one tiny gesture of kindness that is different from your normal pattern, and sit back and watch the good energy start flowing.

  What you’re doing may not seem selfish, but it is. In a good way! Selfishness isn’t always a bad thing, especially if it helps someone else at the same time. Raising your frequency makes you radiate a good energy that then changes the frequency of everyone around you and the space in which you move.

  In fact, I’ve found that inherently selfish or narcissistic people absolutely love transactional consciousness because it makes them feel so good, so quickly. You might think that crowd is limited to my celebrity clients, but it’s not. When a person—whoever they might be—employs transactional consciousness for a quick feel-good boost, it begins a pattern of behavior that they want to continue. Suddenly, all the wealth and power in the world feels meaningless as they discover the power of good deeds.

  Meditation

  I heard you groan when you read that word. Remember? I can sense things about you, and I could just feel what you were thinking: Ugh, meditation. You expect me to sit in silence for five minutes and think about nothing? For the love of God, I’m a busy person!

  Trust me, I understand why you dislike meditation, and for many of my clients, it’s impossible for me to convince them to try it. Some people love meditation, while others can’t make their brains shut up. If meditation is your thing—or you think there’s a chance that it might be—I highly recommend the practice because I know it will raise your frequency. Just taking five minutes where you can shut out the barrage of thoughts in your brain and listen to the sound of your breath will calm you down, give you peace, and send good energy flowing through your mind and body that will certainly raise your frequency.

  If you don’t feel comfortable trying meditation on your own, there are apps that might help you. Breathe, available on iTunes, is one of my favorites. It allows you to check boxes on how you feel that day (Happy? Nervous? Excited?), then offers several guided meditations of varying lengths based on how you’re feeling. Just plug in your earbuds, find a comfortable spot on the couch, and open the app.

  You can also record your own voice based on any number of meditations on the Internet or in books, or you can google “meditation scripts” and find thousands online.

  Meditation in Song

  Like I said, I usually don’t push strict meditation on clients after they walk out of my Spirit Room. Instead, more often than not, I’ll recommend singing. That’s right, just singing a little song. Turn on some music you love and sing along. Or, go a cappella. You don’t have to have any actual talent. This is all about the practice.

  Singing raises your vibration immediately, and it feels good because it’s an instant boost of positive energy. If you think about it, children start singing not long after they learn to talk, and they do it happily in their beds at night, in circle time at school, or while playing “Ring Around the Rosie” with their friends. Children are the purest, most connected-to-Source beings on the planet, so it is no coincidence that they inherently know how to soothe themselves—and feel joy—through song. It’s their direct link to Higher Beings, who flood in when they raise their frequency.

  I always sing before exorcisms. Once I’ve set everything up and feel fully prepared, I’ll put on songs I like and sing along with them till my client shows up. Just warming up my vocal cords energizes me and raises my frequency. When my energy is high, my connection to Spirit and Higher Beings is cleaner, which makes it easier for them to work with me and vice versa.

  Some people assume I might chant during exorcisms, or just to commune with Spirit. I don’t, and that’s because it doesn’t really appeal to me. I also think that chanting, OMing, and opening up your chakras isn’t all that relatable to most people, so I want to teach my clients (and anyone reading this book) that there are so many other ways to become conscious. You don’t have to chant. You don’t have to pray. Just sing your heart out whenever you’re feeling bad. I promise it’ll help raise your frequency.

 
; Mindful Connection

  For a lot of people, meditation to clear the mind just isn’t feasible. After all, your mind’s been running the show for most of your life. So I often recommend that clients try to forge a deeper connection with Spirit in another way: by opening their hearts.

  I call this “Mindful Connection,” and it’s easy. All you have to do is sit quietly wherever you can, for however long you feel you can. And in that space and time, ask aloud to connect with Spirit. At that point, you will receive information—thoughts, ideas, visuals, or words. Just trust that. Don’t swat those ideas away as nothing.

  Do this once a day for thirty days. In the beginning, depending on how blocked up or low frequency you are, you might feel like you’re not receiving anything. But if you do it for the full thirty days, the connection will gradually open.

  Gratitude

  It sounds so simple that it’s almost ridiculous, but just waking up every day and forcing yourself to remember what you’re grateful for will do wonders for your frequency. You can’t only realize the things you’re happy about, though. You also need to verbalize them, making a point to acknowledge each and every one in a very deliberate fashion.

  I understand that expressing gratitude can be more difficult than it sounds. A lot of people have really tough lives, and the thought of feeling grateful about anything is laughable. And even if you’re generally happy most of the time, being thankful every. single. damn. morning can be tough. I’m no exception. I have a beautiful life. I make my living doing things I love. I have the opportunity to be around amazing people, and most days I feel like Goth Supergirl battling the dark forces of the universe. Yet I still wake up and feel crappy sometimes. There are many, many days when even minor things affect me.

  This is just part of being human. For all of us—even the most high-frequency individuals like myself—there are some days when everything piles up, and you’re like, Forget it.

  Yet I still force myself to verbalize my gratitude, even if it’s only for the pillow I’m about to lie back down on and the snooze button I’m about to hit.

  I try not to speak about gratitude in an overly metaphysical, woo-woo way because that alienates a lot of people. Most average Americans are run-down working for a living, raising kids, rushing around, stressed out, and they surely resent some New Age chick who rolls out of bed at 7 A.M., fresh as a daisy, and says, “Life is great!” I get it. Being thankful for anything when you’re depressed, in pain, broke, or your kid is screaming is hard, but, trust me, force yourself. Take ten seconds and verbalize something, anything, that makes you happy. It could be something as simple as the soft toilet paper you just bought on sale or the fact that your car’s coming out of the shop that day. I promise you, if you just say something, you’ll feel your frequency go up.

  Manifesting

  This recommendation isn’t ripped straight from The Secret, I promise. I do have tremendous respect for the book’s philosophy, which centers on the law of attraction, and I believe, just like the book teaches, that you can manifest the things you want in life simply by verbalizing them. I also believe that if you stop going on and on about what’s negative in your life, you will stop bringing all the unpleasant, unhappy stuff in.

  But my version of manifesting isn’t about telling yourself—again and again and again—that you’re going to get a new car, and, then, voila! There it is. Manifesting is more than just thinking positively or willing something to happen. It’s about stopping the misery train before it reaches the station—that is, refusing to think in an unconstructive, negative fashion.

  For example, let’s say you didn’t get the raise you were really counting on. It would be so easy to go home, make yourself a stiff drink, and start complaining to your husband. You could say, “Since I won’t be getting that bigger paycheck, we won’t be able to afford a down payment on a house. This is terrible!” That kind of thinking won’t get you anywhere, and it just increases your negative feelings. Then, you might go into your kitchen and fix yourself another drink. Or three.

  Instead, you need to flip the script. Say out loud: “This didn’t happen at the time I wanted it to, but there has to be a reason for that. Maybe that house wasn’t right for me. I just have to focus on something else now.” Sooner or later, I promise you, you’ll get the house that’s best for you. It may take time, but the right one will come along in due course.

  You can shift your thinking by verbalizing the positive. And when you stop, collect yourself for a moment, and try to see—perhaps glimmering in the far-off distance—something that might one day make you happy, you’ll actually feel a twinge of something positive. Congratulations! You’ve just raised your frequency.

  The sad fact is that most people only verbalize what’s wrong in their lives. Negative things just happen, for no apparent reason. But if you tell yourself, “I’m amazing. I’m incredible. The universe loves me, and if something didn’t come to pass, it’s because it just wasn’t my time,” you’ll actually feel better because it’s the truth.

  I do this every single day, and it’s now become second nature to me. I don’t even have to force it. Instead, it’s become a natural way of speaking about how the events of my life have unfolded.

  This isn’t to say I don’t grieve. You have to allow yourself to mourn when truly bad things happen because it’s unnatural not to feel pain. Grief is a healthy part of the process of acceptance and healing, and I’d never shame you for it. But when you shift your thinking and verbalize the positive rather than the negative, your period of grieving becomes shorter. Even when I feel destroyed by something, I now only mourn for a few hours. I experience intense sadness, then pick myself up and return to my normal awareness.

  Clearing the Collective

  I do find it harder to be high-minded and high frequency when bad things happen out in the world. For years, I’ve struggled with how to process natural disasters, upsetting political developments, terrorism, or the plight of people and animals around the world. I’ve never been a news junkie, and I think that’s because my feelings are so deep that seeing the awful things in the world at large hits me too hard.

  Yet I’ve come to learn that I have to be prepared in order to face these events.

  The way I’ve done this is by utilizing a process called “clearing the collective.” This is a method of thinking advocated by many world-famous healers, and it involves blessing any kind of negative event that comes to pass. The blessing isn’t the spiritual equivalent of a shrug-off; it’s a way to shift negative energy so that it pools together. In essence, the collective feels the pain.

  The second aspect of clearing the collective involves you acknowledging the good actions you’ve taken to better the world, and using them to counter the negative events around you. This is exactly what I do whenever I speak to one of my good friends, Marc Ching, who runs a charity called the Animal Hope and Wellness Foundation.

  I’m the world’s biggest animal lover, but I struggle with what Marc does for a living. He and members of his organization go to places like Yulin, China, where dogs are killed in slaughterhouses for human consumption. Because some people believe that if an animal suffers, its meat will taste better, many of these dogs aren’t killed in humane ways. There is also evidence that some of them are, in fact, stolen house pets. Marc is such an angel on earth that he walks right into these slaughterhouses and snatches the dogs from death’s door. Workers at these horrible places have put machetes to his head and threatened to kill him, so every time Marc leaves on a business trip, he tells his family, “I might not come back, so just know I love you.”

  I champion absolutely everything Marc does, and I’ve donated to his group. But I can hardly think about those poor dogs, let alone talk to him about them. I can’t stomach looking at the photos he emails from his trips, and I really struggle listening to his stories. I love animals just a little too much, and it breaks my heart to think of them in pain.

  I’ve accepted that I’m just not
strong enough to process that kind of suffering, and that’s okay. You might be like me. You may struggle to read the daily news, or you might be paralyzed by a terrible loss within your family. Take relief in the fact that it’s not your responsibility to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you’re not doomed to be low frequency for eternity! Plus, Spirit won’t judge you. Grief and sadness are perfectly acceptable, and we can’t all process things the same way. As long as we do our part by adding to the collective, you can raise your frequency and make the world a better place.

  I add to the collective by destroying entities. After I do my part, other people do the dirty work that I can’t, like rescuing dogs from slaughterhouses. Say you’re a paramedic. You probably think: I’m strong because I can go into places where people are hurt or dying, and I help make them okay. That’s my job. Yet, you might break down when you find out you mother has cancer. Your frequency level might take a temporary hit, but you’re likely still high energy because you’ve done your part for the collective. That’s your gift to the world.

  Communing with the Spirit World

  Each and every one of you has the ability to be fully connected to Spirit. Not just that, but every person on this planet has the ability to speak to those who have passed. Both of these skills are part and parcel of the same thing: they’re inherent gifts we have within us, granted by Spirit, who desperately desires a closeness with us. Unfortunately, most people don’t use these abilities because they either don’t believe they exist or don’t know how to tap into them. If they did the world would be a much happier and healthier place for everyone.

  Ready to try? Let me teach you how.

  First, you have to trust yourself. You cannot second-guess your connection to Spirit in any way. That connection is what makes communing with the Spirit world possible.