I feel his head where he’s rubbing, and there’s a huge knot. “So, you’re telling me that this big ass knot on the back of this baby’s head is irrelevant?”
Ashley’s face turns white and she starts sputtering. “Well, I...uh.” She walks over to inspect Kyle’s injury and visibly blanches. Ashley straightens her face quickly, trying to recover, but she is noticeably flustered. “We didn’t realize he’d been hurt. He-he didn’t tell us.”
I shake my head and laugh. “Are you seriously blaming a two-year-old for the fact that you didn’t do your job?”
Red splotches appear on her cheeks and quickly spread to her chest. “Mr. Hebert, I assure you that we will have a talk with the other child and his parents. But, even still, that doesn’t change the fact that Kyle has to be suspended for biting. It’s policy...”
“You can tear up that paperwork,” I add, pointing to the clipboard clutched beneath her arm. “We won’t be signing it...” Her mouth opens, but no sound comes out. “As a matter of fact, go ahead and get me all of his things. Kyle won’t be returning.”
“Mr. Hebert, you can’t withdraw someone else’s child from daycare.”
Watch me. “His things?”
Ashley scurries off, gathering Savage’s belongings, returning with three bags full of stuff. “Have Spencer come by and let us know what she wants to do about his enrollment. She has to give at least a thirty days’ notice if she wants to withdraw him.”
“How about you waive that thirty day notice and I’ll consider not pressing charges on this negligent establishment?”
“That won’t be necessary, sir. We will be happy to waive the thirty day notice if Ms. LeBlanc does, in fact, advise us that she wishes to withdraw her child.”
The way she says “her child” reminds me of the fact that Kyle belongs to another man and my fucking woman, and it pisses me off even more. Shifting Kyle into one arm, I grab his bags, storm through the building, and then back out to the parking lot.
“I sowwy, Pooper.” I feel Kyle’s hand cup my clenched jaw and instantly deflate. The fearful look on his face makes me feel like a complete asshole.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Kyle. I’m not mad,” I assure him as I unlock the truck and toss his bags inside.
“I ridin’ in your shruck?”
“Sure are, buddy. Hop up in your seat so we can blow this joint.”
Before leaving the parking lot, I try Spencer’s number again to let her know I’ve picked up Kyle, but it goes straight to voicemail. “Hey, Spence, it’s—”
“Hi, Mommy!” Kyle shouts from behind me, causing me to laugh into the phone.
“Yeah, so I have Kyle. The daycare couldn’t get in touch with you and he needed to be picked up. I’ll fill you in on the details later...just wanted to let you know he’s with me and we’re gonna go have some guy time before heading home. Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” I think...“Tell Mommy bye, Kyle.”
“Bye, Mommy!”
“All right, Savage...let’s go have some fun.”
I decide to take him to The Cool Spot for snowballs. Spence and I spent many hot summer days slurping down flavored ice on the picnic tables by the lake. It’s winter now, but the place is open year-round, and I’m feeling the urge to share that connection with Kyle. He chooses blue bubblegum with ice cream in the middle and gummy bears on top. I get a very boring in comparison but delicious cherry.
“Dis nummy, Pooper,” Savage says with blue syrup dripping from his chin.
“Are you actually getting any of that into your mouth?” I ask, wondering how the hell I’m going to get this sticky mess of a kid back into my truck. Maybe snowballs weren’t my greatest idea.
“Uh oh...” Kyle’s eyes get big and his forehead creases.
I do not like the sound of that uh oh. “What’s wrong?”
“I shit myself, Pooper.”
I choke, spitting red snowball down the front of my white oxford. “Kyle, you can’t say that word.”
“I sowwy...I need a biper shange.”
Son of a...I have never changed a diaper in my life. “Please tell me you are joking,” I beg.
A shit-eating grin spreads across his blue face. “I for real, Pooper.”
We toss the remainder of our snacks into the trashcan and head toward the parking lot. I’m practically sweating over the mess I’ve gotten myself into. When we arrive at my truck, I place Kyle in the truck bed so that I can safely dig around in his bags for some wet wipes and a diaper and praise God there is a change of clean clothes.
“Okay, Savage...you’re gonna have to help Cooper out here. I’ve never changed a diaper before.”
Kyle’s eyes get big. “I never shange a biper before, eider.” His little shoulders lift and fall in a shrug.
“Come here,” I tell him, waving him over while laughing at the little smart ass. He’s so advanced. I feel myself swelling with pride, as if I had anything to do with it.
I feel like an idiot when he’s standing before me, and I can’t decide where to start. He is sticky from head to toe, and judging by the smell, he’s packing a pretty nasty mess in his Pamper. I actually glance around, spotting a hose, before realizing that it’s barely sixty degrees out and I can’t spray the kid down.
I decide starting with the top and working my way down to be the best course of action. “Stand still,” I say to Kyle as I try to scrub the blue from his lips, cheeks, and chin.
“Dat hurts!” His head is swerving around while he tries to dodge the wet wipes.
“It does not hurt. Keep still.”
Once I’ve cleaned his face, I begin working on his neck and arms. By the time I’ve gotten his hands cleaned, I’ve used most of the package of wet wipes. “Hopefully, the shit comes off easier than the syrup or we’ll be in a heap of trouble.”
“You say dat bad word, Pooper.”
Crap. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. “I’m sorry, Kyle...Don’t tell Mommy, okay? It can be our little secret.” He smirks. This kid is so ratting me out. “Lift up your arms for me, bud.” I swap out his shirt quickly, so he doesn’t get too cold, and am back at a standstill. “All right...now what do we do?”
“You gotta wipe my butt, Pooper.” He spreads out his own blanket, lying down on top of it with his feet toward me. The little turd even lifts his own legs into the air.
“Kyle, you are too big to be pooping on yourself. You need to start using the toilet.”
He shakes his head. “Tah-tye in the toiwette.”
“There is no monster in the toilet.” I remove his shoes and pants then discover that greenish yellow mush is coming out of the back and sides of his diaper. I gag. It’s all over the inside of his pants. I set them off to the other side of the tailgate and begin wiping at the shit on his legs with the wet wipes and tossing them over on top of the pants. The mountain of poop covered wipes keeps growing as the bag of clean ones is damned near empty, and we haven’t even gotten to what’s inside of the diaper yet.
“I freezin’,” Kyle stammers. The poor little guy is shaking. I finally work up the nerve to unfasten his diaper, and when I pull it open, I can’t...I just...can’t. I lean over to the side and puke until tears stream from my eyes. I have never felt more helpless in my life. Brought down by a dirty diaper.
Suddenly, I feel a little hand on my back and a voice that I have become very familiar with coos, “Aw, you sick, Pooper?” No...I turn my head to find that Kyle has gotten up. His diaper is upside down and poop is smeared from one end of the truck bed to the other.
Fuck it. Grabbing Kyle beneath his arms, I extend my own out to hold him as far away from my body as possible and make a run for the water hose. “Don’t move, Kyle,” I instruct as I uncoil the hose and turn on the water. “The water is gonna be cold. I’m so sorry, but we have to get you cleaned up. We’ll be super fast.”
Kyle stands as still as a statue while I spray the rest of the poop off of his bottom. The water bounces off of his body, flying back at me.
A drop of shit water lands on my bottom lip, and I’m puking all over again. The entire situation is so ridiculous that it would be hysterical if it weren’t happening to me.
I unbutton and slip off my shirt, wrapping Kyle’s trembling body in it and head back to my defiled truck. My stomach is roiling. Savages teeth are chattering, and his one clean shirt is now soaked from the hose due to me not removing it beforehand. After lying Kyle on the back seat of my truck, I slide a fresh training diaper up his legs. Even that is an act of congress. With no other choice but to give him my undershirt, I pull it over my head and onto him. “There. That wasn’t so bad, now was it?” I ask, looking for a confidence boost.
“You suck at shanging bipers, Pooper. My mommy gonna kick you butt.”
“You’re probably right, Savage. Now, get in that car seat so I can take you back home. I don’t think my truck can handle another explosion.”
Spencer
I’m curled up, hugging my knees on the front porch swing, when Coop’s truck comes rolling into the drive. Jumping to my feet, I shift the flannel throw blanket from my legs to my shoulders, cocooning myself inside. Yesterday, we were in shorts and flip flops, today Uggs and sweaters. Louisiana, as usual, you are drunk.
When I’m about halfway to the truck, Cooper steps out...shirtless. My feet grow roots and I stare. It doesn’t even strike me as odd at first that he’s riding around half naked in the dead of winter because I’m far too busy admiring the view. I feel my lady bits clench tight as my mouth begins to fill with saliva. When he disappears around the side of his truck, I shake myself out of a daze, remembering that he has my kid.
“Hey, Cooper!” I call out, shuffling my feet in quick baby steps. They are all I can manage with the burrito I’ve wrapped myself in. “What hap—”
My words are lost when he comes back into view, toting my toddler—my blue toddler who happens to be wearing a man’s shirt and nothing else.
“Hey, Mommy!” Kyle shouts, reaching out for me with his teeth chattering.
Cooper passes him over, and I wrap his little body in my throw blanket. “Hey, baby. What’s all over your face? And why are you wearing Cooper’s shirt and not your own clothes?” I ask, looking up at the deflated man before me.
“Hey, Spence,” Coop offers, attempting a smile. He looks nervous. What did he do?
My eyes roam from his disheveled hair to the resigned look on his face. They wander over his chest and stomach, and from this close, I can see something splattered in the trail of hair leading from his bellybutton into his slacks. I sniff, feeling my brows dip inward at the pungent smell. “My God, you two reek!” I gag, pinching my nose. “What the hell happened? Where are his clothes? Where are the rest of your clothes? Did you two fall into a freaking sewer? Cooper, are you going to answer me?”
That maddening, lopsided smirk appears on his face. “I was letting you finish, Momma Bear.”
I move my hand in little circles toward him in a “carry on” gesture.
Coop swallows hard. What is it about that tiny movement of his Adam’s apple that gives me the urge to run my tongue along his throat?
“Can we continue this inside, Princess? It’s a bit nippley.”
“I ha-have nipples,” Kyle stutters. “Pooper have hair on him nipples. Dat’s siwwy, right, Mommy?”
Giggling, I turn to stare at Cooper’s chiseled chest and his nipples that I find anything but silly.
Coop laughs. “When you’re a man, Savage, you’ll get hair on your nipples, too...and on your butt!”
Kyle scrunches up his nose. “No, tanks. I don’t want hair on my butt.”
“Let’s get inside before you freeze your hairy ass off,” I say, winking at Cooper.
Coop takes a few steps to follow and then stops. “Actually, why don’t you go and get him cleaned up. I could use a shower myself, and I really need to brush my teeth.”
Did he just gag? “Uh, yeah. Can you hurry, though? I’ve been kinda freaking out not knowing what’s going on.” And after this...infinitely more so.
“Is your mom back?”
“Not yet.”
“Why don’t you come over to my house when you’re done and Mom can keep an eye on Savage while we chat?”
“Kyle!” Mrs. Nelly exclaims, all animated, when she opens the front door.
“Hi, Nana. You make me some cookies?” my son asks as she grabs him from my arms and smothers his face in kisses. Kyle squirms, pretending not to like it, but he’s giggling so hard he can’t catch his breath.
“Of course, child. Let’s go in the kitchen and see what goodies Nana has for her favorite little guy today.”
“I thought I was your favorite little guy,” an indignant voice calls down the stairs just before Coop’s body comes into view with my favorite little guy pitching a tent in his joggers.
“Looks like you’ve been replaced,” I taunt when his mother doesn’t answer.
He smiles, pressing a hand on the doorframe above my head and leaning in close. “Appears so.”
I take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his cologne, and just as I’m about to forget myself and lean in for a kiss, Coop reaches around me, twisting the doorknob, almost knocking me off my feet. “Sit with me out on the porch?”
“Sure,” I say, clearing my throat as he grabs ahold of my arm, steadying me. “What happened at the daycare today? I’ve been so worried,” I say as we walk over to sit on the porch swing.
Cooper follows, plopping down beside me with his body angled toward mine. “They never got ahold of you?”
“No. I forgot my phone on the kitchen counter, and by the time I noticed, it was too late to go back and get it. I was in offsite meetings most of the day, and the school couldn’t reach me without my phone. When I returned to school, I went to the office, and they told me the daycare had been trying to contact me, so I borrowed their phone to check the voicemail on my cell. I had a few from the daycare asking me to call them and then your message...so I knew Kyle was okay because he was with you.”
Coop gives me a lopsided grin as I continue. “I called the daycare and got their voicemail. They haven’t called me back yet, but its dismissal time, so it will probably be a while before I hear from them.”
Cooper rolls his eyes. “Oh, trust me. You’ll be hearing from them.”
“What happened?”
“We quit,” he answers, matter of fact.
“You quit what?”
“Savage and I quit preschool today.” Cooper smiles, puffing up his chest with pride. He looks entirely too pleased with himself. He’s so convincing that I catch myself wanting to thank him before realizing that he’s just made my life an even bigger disaster.
“You did what?” I ask, jumping up from the swing, causing the chains to rattle.
“They tried to suspend him, Spence...Can you believe that shit? Who suspends a two-year-old?”
My eyes bug out. “Oh God. What did he do?” Both hands dig into my hair, and I pull in frustration as I begin pacing the porch.
Coop shakes his head, leveling me with a look that can only be described as disappointment. “That’s your response? What’d he do?” He laughs beneath his breath, but it lacks any humor. “He bit some little asshole for hitting him in the head with a truck. He was defending himself. You should be proud of him. No one else there was gonna do it.”
“Is he o—”
“Kyle’s fine. He just has a bump on his head.”
Shit. What the hell am I going to do now? “Coop...you...you can’t just quit his preschool. It was the only one in town with openings. I’ll have a talk with them. I’m sure I can clear it all up.”
Coop scoffs. “They don’t appreciate him. Hell, I don’t even think they like him. Those people are going to break his spirit.” Cooper purses his lips, shaking his head. “Nope. He can’t go back.”
My head falls into my hands and I massage my temples. “Coop, I’m sure it was some sort of misunderstanding. I...” Cooper’s arms cross on his
chest and his eyes narrow. How dare he judge me? “I have to work, Cooper!” Damn him for making me feel like the bad guy here.
“I don’t think you should bring him back there.”
Stubborn fucking ass. “I have to—”
“I already told him he didn’t have to go.” Coop shrugs like the fact that he told a two-year-old he doesn’t have to go trumps my need to support my family.
My mouth falls open and snaps shut. “Great. Well, the two of you should have a lot of fun in your new office. I hope your secretary doesn’t mind looking after a toddler in addition to her other duties when you’re on a call or in court! And I sure as shit hope she knows how to change a fucking diaper. Lord knows you don’t have a freaking clue!”
Coop’s face blanches at the diaper comment. He looks mortified as he whispers, “He can’t come to work with me.”
“No?” I cross my arms on my chest. “Well, where do you think he’s going to go while I’m at work all day now that you’ve quit his daycare?”
The squeaking sound of a window lifting behind me causes me to spin around just as Nelly’s head peaks out. “I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but y’all two are so damned loud you could wake the dead. I just wanted to offer that he could stay here with me. I would love to have him. No need to send him to a germ-filled cesspool.”
“There,” Coop says, rising from the swing. He walks over to stand behind me, rubbing his hands up and down my upper arms to relax me. “Problem solved. He’ll come here.”
My head is spinning. I’m not used to having other people make decisions for me where my children are concerned, and my natural inclination is to fight it. But, Kyle loves Nelly, and I know that she loves him, too. I suck my teeth, look over my shoulder, and narrow my eyes at Cooper when I answer, “If you’re sure you don’t mind, Mrs. Nelly, I’d love it if you’d babysit Kyle.”
Her face lights up. “I don’t mind at all, sugar! Now you two carry on. Coop, watch your face. You have court in a few days.” She winks. “I’m gonna go tell Savage the news!”
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