Hercule Poirot 100 Years (1916 - 2016)

by Mark Place

  He looked at the chambermaid, who stepped across the threshold with a toss of her head, the searcher following her closely. The French girl had sunk sobbing into a chair. Poirot was looking round the room, the main features of which I have made clear by a sketch.

  "Where does that door lead?" he inquired, nodding his head towards the one by the window.

  "Into the next apartment, I believe," said the inspector. "It's bolted, anyway, on this side."

  Poirot walked across to it, tried it, then drew back the bolt and tried it again. "And on the other side as well," he remarked. "Well, that seems to rule out that."

  He walked over to the windows, examining each of them in turn. "And again -nothing. Not even a balcony outside."

  "Even if there were," said the inspector impatiently, "I don't see how that would help us, if the maid never left the room."

  "Évidemment," said Poirot, not disconcerted. "As Mademoiselle is positive she did not leave the room"

  He was interrupted by the reappearance of the chambermaid and the police searcher. "Nothing," said the latter laconically.

  "I should hope not, indeed," said the chambermaid virtuously. "And that French hussy ought to be ashamed of herself taking away an honest girl's character!"

  "There, there, my girl; that's all right," said the inspector, opening the door. "Nobody suspects you. You go along and get on with your work."

  The chambermaid went unwillingly. "Going to search her?" she demanded, pointing at Célestine. "Yes, yes!" He shut the door on her and turned the key. Célestine accompanied the searcher into the small room in her turn. A few minutes later she also returned. Nothing had been found on her. The inspector's face grew graver. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to come along with me all the same, miss." He turned to Mrs Opalsen. "I'm sorry, madam, but all the evidence points that way. If she's not got them on her, they're hidden somewhere about the room."

  Célestine uttered a piercing shriek, and clung to Poirot's arm. The latter bent and whispered something in the girl's ear. She looked up at him doubtfully. "Si, si, mon enfant -I assure you it is better not to resist." Then he turned to the inspector. "You permit, monsieur? A little experiment -purely for my own satisfaction."

  "Depends on what it is," replied the police officer non-committally. Poirot addressed Célestine once more. "You have told us that you went into your room to fetch a reel of cotton. Whereabouts was it?"

  "On the top of the chest of drawers, monsieur."

  "And the scissors?"

  "They also."

  "Would it be troubling you too much, mademoiselle, to ask you to repeat those two actions? You were sitting here with your work, you say?"

  Célestine sat down, and then, at a sign from Poirot, rose, passing into the adjoining room, took up an object from the chest of drawers, and returned. Poirot divided his attention between her movements and a large turnip of a watch which he held in the palm of his hand.

  "Again, if you please, mademoiselle."

  At the conclusion of the second performance, he made a note in his pocket-book, and returned the watch to his pocket. "Thank you, mademoiselle. And you, monsieur -" he bowed to the inspector -"for your courtesy."

  The inspector seemed somewhat entertained by this excessive politeness. Célestine departed in a flood of tears, accompanied by the woman and the plain-clothes official. Then, with a brief apology to Mrs Opalsen, the inspector set to work to ransack the room. He pulled out drawers, opened cupboards, completely unmade the bed, and tapped the floor. Mr Opalsen looked on skeptically. "You really think you will find them?"

  "Yes, sir. It stands to reason. She hadn't time to take them out of the room. The lady's discovering the robbery so soon upset her plans. No, they're here right enough. One of the two must have hidden them -and it's very unlikely for the chambermaid to have done so."

  "More than unlikely -impossible!" said Poirot quietly.

  "Eh?" The inspector stared.

  Poirot smiled modestly. "I will demonstrate. Hastings, my good friend, take my watch in your hand -with care. It is a family heirloom! Just now I timed Mademoiselle's movements -her first absence from the room was of twelve seconds, her second of fifteen. Now observe my actions. Madame will have the kindness to give me the key of the jewel-case. I thank you. My friend Hastings will have the kindness to say 'Go!'

  "Go!" I said. With almost incredible swiftness, Poirot wrenched open the drawer of the dressing-table, extracted the jewel-case, fitted the key in the lock, opened the case, selected a piece of jewelry, shut and locked the case, and returned it to the drawer, which he pushed to again. His movements were like lightning.

  "Well, mon ami?" he demanded of me breathlessly.

  "Forty-six seconds," I replied.

  "You see?" He looked round. "There would not have been time for the chambermaid even to take the necklace out, far less hide it."

  "Then that settles it on the maid," said the inspector with satisfaction, and returned to his search. He passed into the maid's bedroom next door. Poirot was frowning thoughtfully. Suddenly he shot a question at Mr Opalsen. "This necklace -it was, without doubt, insured?"

  Mr Opalsen looked a trifle surprised at the question.

  "Yes," he said hesitatingly, "that is so."

  "But what does that matter?" broke in Mrs Opalsen tearfully. "It's my necklace I want. It was unique. No money could be the same."

  "I comprehend, madame," said Poirot soothingly. "I comprehend perfectly. To la femme sentiment is everything -is it not so! But monsieur, who has not the so fine susceptibility, will doubtless find some slight consolation in the fact."

  "Of course, of course," said Mr Opalsen rather uncertainly. "Still" He was interrupted by a shout of triumph from the inspector. He came in dangling something from his fingers. With a cry, Mrs Opalsen heaved herself up from her chair. She was a changed woman. "Oh, oh, my necklace!" She clasped it to her breast with both hands. We crowded around. "Where was it?" demanded Opalsen. “Maid's bed. In among the springs of the wire mattress. She must have stolen it and hidden it there before the chambermaid arrived on the scene."

  "You permit, madame?" said Poirot gently. He took the necklace from her and examined it closely; then handed it back with a bow.

  "I'm afraid, madam, you'll have to hand it over to us for the time being," said the inspector. "We shall want it for the charge. But it shall be returned to you as soon as possible."

  Mr Opalsen frowned. "Is that necessary?"

  "I'm afraid so, sir. Just a formality."

  “Oh, let him take it, Ed!" cried his wife. "I'd feel safer if he did. I shouldn't sleep a wink thinking someone else might try and get hold of it. That wretched girl! And I would never have believed it of her."

  "There, there, my dear, don't take on so." I felt a gentle pressure on my arm. It was Poirot.

  "Shall we slip away, my friend? I think our services are no longer needed." Once outside, however, he hesitated, and then, much to my surprise, he remarked: "I should rather like to see the room next door." The door was not locked, and we entered. The room, which was a large double one, was unoccupied. Dust lay about rather noticeably, and my sensitive friend gave a characteristic grimace as he ran his finger round a rectangular mark on a table near the window. "The service leaves to be desired," he observed dryly.

  He was staring thoughtfully out of the window, and seemed to have fallen into a brown study. "Well?" I demanded impatiently. "What did we come in here for?"

  He stared. "Je vous demande pardon, mon ami. I wished to see if the door was really bolted on this side also."

  "Well," I said, glancing at the door which communicated with the room we had just left, "it is bolted."

  Poirot nodded. He still seemed to be thinking. "And, anyway," I continued, "what does it matter? The case is over. I wish you'd had more chance of distinguishing yourself. But it was the kind of case that even a stiff-backed idiot like that inspector couldn't go wrong over."

  Poirot shook his head. "The case is no
t over, my friend. It will not be over until we find out who stole the pearls."

  "But the maid did!"

  "Why do you say that?"

  "Why," I stammered, "they were found -actually in her mattress."

  "Ta, ta, ta!" said Poirot impatiently. "Those were not the pearls."

  "What?"

  "Imitation, mon ami." The statement took my breath away. Poirot was smiling placidly. "The good inspector obviously knows nothing of jewels. But presently there will be a fine hullabaloo!"

  "Come!" I cried, dragging at his arm. "Where?"

  "We must tell the Opalsens at once."

  "I think not."

  "But that poor woman -"

  "Eh bien; that poor woman, as you call her, will have a much better night believing the jewels to be safe."

  "But the thief may escape with them!"

  "As usual, my friend, you speak without reflection. How do you know that the pearls Mrs Opalsen locked up so carefully tonight were not the false ones, and that the real robbery did not take place at a much earlier date?"

  "Oh!" I said bewildered.

  "Exactly," said Poirot, beaming. "We start again."

  He led the way out of the room, paused a moment as though considering, and then walked down to the end of the corridor, stopping outside the small den where the chambermaids and valets of the respective floors congregated. Our particular chambermaid appeared to be holding a small court there, and to be retailing her late experiences to an appreciative audience. She stopped in the middle of a sentence. Poirot bowed with his usual politeness. "Excuse that I derange you, but I shall be obliged if you will unlock for me the door of Mr Opalsen's room." The woman rose willingly, and we accompanied her down the passage again. Mr Opalsen's room was on the other side of the corridor, its door facing that of his wife's room. The chambermaid unlocked it with her pass-key, and we entered. As she was about to depart Poirot detained her. "One moment; have you ever seen among the effects of Mr Opalsen a card like this?" He held out a plain white card, rather highly glazed and uncommon in appearance. The maid took it and scrutinized it carefully. "No, sir, I can't say I have. But, anyway, the valet has most to do with the gentlemen's rooms."

  "I see. Thank you."

  Poirot took back the card. The woman departed. Poirot appeared to reflect a little. Then he gave a short, sharp nod of the head.

  "Ring the bell, I pray of you, Hastings. Three times, for the valet."

  I obeyed, devoured with curiosity. Meanwhile Poirot had emptied the waste-paper basket on the floor, and was swiftly going through its contents. In a few moments the valet answered the bell. To him Poirot put the same question, and handed him the card to examine. But the response was the same. The valet had never seen a card of that particular quality among Mr Opalsen's belongings. Poirot thanked him, and he withdrew, somewhat unwillingly, with an inquisitive glance at the overturned waste-paper basket and the litter on the floor. He could hardly have helped over-hearing Poirot's thoughtful remark as he bundled the torn papers back again: "And the necklace was heavily insured..."

  "Poirot," I cried, "I see"

  "You see nothing, my friend," he replied quickly. "As usual, nothing at all! It is incredible -but there it is. Let us return to our own apartments." We did so in silence. Once there, to my intense surprise, Poirot effected a rapid change of clothing.

  "I go to London tonight," he explained. "It is imperative."

  "What?"

  "Absolutely. The real work, that of the brain (ah, those brave little gray cells), it is done. I go to seek the confirmation. I shall find it! Impossible to deceive Hercule Poirot!"

  "You'll come a cropper one of these days," I observed, rather disgusted by his vanity.

  "Do not be enraged, I beg of you, mon ami. I count on you to do me a service -of your friendship."

  "Of course," I said eagerly, rather ashamed of my moroseness. "What is it?"

  "The sleeve of my coat that I have taken off -will you brush it? See you a little white powder has clung to it. You without doubt observed me run my finger round the drawer of the dressing-table?"

  "No, I didn't."

  "You should observe my actions, my friend. Thus I obtained the powder on my finger, and, being a little over-excited, I rubbed it on my sleeve; an action without method which I deplore -false to all my principles."

  "But what was the powder?" I asked, not particularly interested in Poirot's principles.

  "Not the poison of the Borgias," replied Poirot, with a twinkle. "I see your imagination mounting. I should say it was French chalk."

  "French chalk?"

  "Yes, cabinet-makers use it to make drawers run smoothly."

  I laughed. "You old sinner! I thought you were working up to something exciting."

  "Au revoir, my friend. I save myself. I fly!"

  The door shut behind him. With a smile, half of derision, half of affection, I picked up the coat, and stretched out my hand for the clothes brush. The next morning, hearing nothing from Poirot, I went out for a stroll, met some old friends, and lunched with them at their hotel. In the afternoon we went for a spin. A punctured tyre delayed us, and it was past eight when I got back to the Grand Metropolitan. The first sight that met my eyes was Poirot, looking even more diminutive than usual, sandwiched between the Opalsens, beaming in a state of placid satisfaction.

  "Mon ami Hastings!" he cried, and sprang to meet me. "Embrace me, my friend; all has marched to a marvel!" Luckily, the embrace was merely figurative -not a thing one is always sure of with Poirot.

  "Do you mean -" I began.

  "Just wonderful, I call it!" said Mrs Opalsen, smiling all over her fat face. "Didn't I tell you, Ed, that if he couldn't get back my pearls nobody would?"

  "You did, my dear, you did. And you were right."

  I looked helplessly at Poirot, and he answered the glance.

  "My friend Hastings is, as you say in England, all at the seaside. Seat yourself, and I will recount to you all the affair that has so happily ended."

  "Ended?"

  "But yes. They are arrested."

  "Who are arrested?"

  "The chambermaid and the valet, parbleu! You did not suspect? Not with my parting hint about the French chalk?"

  "You said cabinet-makers used it."

  "Certainly they do -to make drawers slide easily. Somebody wanted that drawer to slide in and out without any noise. Who could that be? Obviously, only the chambermaid. The plan was so ingenious that it did not at once leap to the eye -not even to the eye of Hercule Poirot. "Listen, this was how it was done. The valet was in the empty room next door, waiting. The French maid leaves the room. Quick as a flash the chambermaid whips open the drawer, takes out the jewel-case, and, slipping back the bolt, passes it through the door. The valet opens it at his leisure with the duplicate key with which he has provided himself, extracts the necklace, and waits his time. Célestine leaves the room again, and -pst! -in a flash the case is passed back again and replaced in the drawer.

  "Madame arrives, the theft is discovered. The chambermaid demands to be searched, with a good deal of righteous indignation, and leaves the room without a stain on her character. The imitation necklace with which they have provided themselves has been concealed in the French girl's bed that morning by the chambermaid -a master stroke, ça!"

  "But what did you go to London for?"

  "You remember the card?"

  "Certainly. It puzzled me -and puzzles me still. I thought -"

  I hesitated delicately, glancing at Mr Opalsen.

  Poirot laughed heartily. "Une blague! For the benefit of the valet. The card was one with a specially prepared surface -for finger-prints. I went straight to Scotland Yard, asked for our old friend Inspector Japp, and laid the facts before him. As I had suspected, the finger-prints proved to be those of two well-known jewel thieves who have been 'wanted' for some time. Japp came down with me, the thieves were arrested, and the necklace was discovered in the valet's possession. A clever pair, but the
y failed in method. Have I not told you, Hastings, at least thirty-six times, that without method"

  "At least thirty-six thousand times!" I interrupted. "But where did their 'method' break down?"

  "Mon ami, it is a good plan to take a place as chambermaid or valet -but you must not shirk your work. They left an empty room undusted; and therefore, when the man put down the jewel-case on the little table near the communicating door, it left a square mark"

  "I remember," I cried.

  "Before, I was undecided. Then -I knew!"

  There was a moment's silence. "And I've got my pearls," said Mrs Opalsen as a sort of Greek chorus. "Well," I said, "I'd better have some dinner." Poirot accompanied me.

  "This ought to mean kudos for you," I observed.

  "Pas du tout," replied Poirot tranquilly. "Japp and the local inspector will divide the credit between them. But -" he tapped his pocket -"I have a check here, from Mr Opalsen, and, how say you, my friend? This week-end has not gone according to plan. Shall we return here next week-end -at my expense this time?"

  The Mystery of Hunters Lodge

  BY

  AGATHA CHRISTIE

  THE MYSTERY OF HUNTER'S LODGE

  "After all," murmured Poirot, "it is possible that I shall not die this time." Coming from a convalescent influenza patient, I hailed the remark as showing a beneficial optimism. I myself had been the first sufferer from the disease. Poirot in his turn had gone down. He was now sitting up in bed, propped up with pillows his head muffled in a woollen shawl, and was slowly sipping a particularly noxious tisane which I had prepared according to his directions. His eye rested with pleasure upon a neatly graduated row of medicine bottles which adorned the mantelpiece. "Yes, yes," my little friend continued.

  "Once more shall I be myself again, the great Hercule Poirot, the terror of evil-doers! Figure to yourself, mon ami, that I have a little paragraph to myself in Society Gossip. But yes! Here it is! 'Go it -criminals -all out! Hercule Poirot -and believe me, girls, he's some Hercules! -our own pet society detective can't get a grip on you. 'Cause why? 'Cause he's got la grippe himself'!"