Slip Song (Devany Miller Series)

by Jen Ponce

  “Dream Mother, I can take her.”

  She turned her pale blue eyes on Kroshtuka and pursed her lips. “No.” She lifted one leg then the other with her hands to get them over the bench. I rose to help her but she waved me off. Kroshtuka rose, as did everyone else around the table. When the Dream Mother gained her feet, she took my arm. “Somethings are better if a woman does them.”

  I smiled, catching Kroshtuka’s flash of humor as we angled for the door. It took awhile to get there. She moved at a snail’s pace. In fact, I wouldn’t have been surprised to see a snail speed past but finally we were traversing back through the tunnel to the magnificent caverns. She guided me down another path past gleaming stalagmites, glistening with moisture and lit from within. Once we were out of site of the doorway, her pace picked up and she straightened, letting go of my arm.

  She caught me staring and grinned. “It’s not all an act. I’m ancient and most days I feel it down to my toes. But I’m the Dream Mother and I am in my element here. It strengthens me. Come.” I followed her to a sheltered grotto with a small pool of crystal clear water and soft-looking moss covering the ground around it. “This is the most sacred spot of our people. Not many strangers get to visit, let alone use the Dreaming Place.” She spread her hands wide as if to say, ‘Look at this. Look at it well. It’s an honor.’

  And I felt honored.

  “You must get rid of your clothes. Bathe in the pool until you’ve let go of the Real.” She leaned against one of the stalagmites, the damp seeping into her dress and darkening the colors along one side. “You’ll know when it’s time to leave the pool. Lay upon the moss and close your eyes. Before you go to sleep, ask your question. When you wake, you will know the answer.” Her hand grasped mine and she squeezed it as she gazed at me. “I was not being facetious when I said be careful of the question. Because you will get the true answer, whether you are ready for it or not.”

  I was alone in the caves. The sound of her footsteps faded until even the echoes had gone silent. I eyed the pool then began pulling off my clothes. It may have been stupid, but I had the feeling that this was truly a sacred place. I didn’t need to worry someone―Kroshtuka, for instance―would show up or spy on me. It was an honor. I just wished I had an idea what I would ask.

  I slipped into the pool, settling myself on the rock shelf under the water. The tension I’d been carrying since Tom died poured into the warm liquid and away from me. My muscles relaxed, my mind eased. The sorrow I’d been carrying floated away. Everything left me. Everything but the nagging thought: what would I ask? What did I most need to know?

  Would I save Cyres? Tytan? Jasper? The swamp? My kids? My god, there were so many questions. How could I choose?

  My eyes slid shut and I floated in and out of awareness as I pondered.

  What if I asked a question and got an answer that I didn’t understand? Or an answer that led me to believe one thing but meant another?

  Shit. This was as bad as making a wish with a genie. “I wish for a million dollars.” Poof. A million dollars … from the life insurance policy of your loved one that dropped dead to satisfy your wish. I pressed my hands against my eyelids and held them there, thinking, not thinking. Drifting then aware, then off again day dreaming. It wasn’t until I got tired of thinking that the answer came to me. Well, the question, anyway. Once I had it, I let go of everything and the world spiraled away.

  I’m not sure when or how I crawled out of the water and curled up on the moss. With my question in my head, I drifted off to sleep.

  -SEVENTEEN-

  I dreamt of roads. My brain burned and ached. Books flew by, harsh-faced teachers, language tapes, blackboards, words, figures, theorems until I thought I might scream from it all. It flew at me and inside my brain, expanding my mind and even my skull. Just a dream, I told myself when panic threatened to overwhelm me. I wasn’t sure how it was possible I was dreaming and thinking about my dream at the same time but there it was. I also intuited if I woke now, the answer would go away and I wouldn’t be able to get it back.

  The pain I could deal with. Right?

  Sharp lancets of heat and fire made me moan. Still I forced myself to stick with it and keep a tight hold on the dreamscape. Hell couldn’t last forever, could it?

  Forever in dreams was a long time.

  When I woke, I didn’t feel anything but lightness. I took my time waking, blinking up at the pretty lights glowing over my head. The moss was soft against my skin and I had one of those early morning moments when bed felt like heaven and I was sure nothing could ever convince me to move―until my bladder began complaining.

  I dressed, slipping my shoes on last before putting my feet on the path that I hoped led back to the entrance. It did. Kroshtuka sat waiting for me, his lazy eyes assessing as I came into view. I wondered what my hair looked like, air drying as it had. Probably a frizzy mess but I didn’t allow myself to touch it and let him know I cared what he thought.

  “Did you get your answer?”

  My head hurt. Was that an answer? “I don’t know.”

  “Perhaps you didn’t ask the right question.”

  “Maybe.” I had though. I just didn’t know if I could use the answer. I wasn’t going to try it in front of him.

  “Are you ready for a celebration?”

  I check myself for pain or heartache over losing Tom. Loss was there but not the overwhelming pain. The pool had eased it. Eased my anxiety for my kids, too. For everything. It was strange not having worry hanging over me. It almost made me feel directionless. “I don’t know that either. I guess I’ll show up and find out.”

  “It is a chance for our kind to demonstrate our prowess and physical abilities to potential mates.” He took my hand and led me from the cavern, taking it slow on the stairs this time as we descended in the cool evening air.

  “Is everything about mating for you?”

  “I find myself unusually intrigued at the moment.”

  I snorted.

  “Why do you doubt your fascination?”

  “I don’t. I mean, I guess I’ve never thought about it. It’s just crazy that I’m so popular lately.”

  His laughter left curlicues of desire swimming in my belly. “If it were only a physical beauty, I might agree. But you hold great power. That’s attractive.”

  I tried out being insulted but couldn’t maintain it. I knew power was attractive. It just was, wrong or right. “I’ll have to figure out how to mask it, then. I can’t have men throwing themselves at my feet.” Although in my mind’s eye, I had Tytan, Jasper, and Kroshtuka all lolling on the floor in front of me. Naked. Willing. “I’m hot.” I fanned myself when we got to the bottom, hoping my superheated cheeks weren’t bright red or that it was too gloomy for him to see.

  His eyes gleamed in the darkness, a lantern yellow that I found beautiful. “I’ll take you to the women’s lodge. They can help you get ready for the gathering.” He pulled my hand up to his mouth and pressed his lips against my palm. The heat from his kiss spread up my arm. It was every bit as delicious as Tytan’s lust-inducing touch, with the added bonus that I knew this was real, not magic.

  The women’s lodge was a long structure with rooms down one side and tables down the other. Kroshtuka’s sister was there, along with a gaggle of other women, talking and laughing, painting their faces, braiding hair, and adding baubles to their outfits that would make noise when they moved.

  I so didn’t want to go in there but Kroshtuka gave me a gentle push and there was no turning back. “Hi.”

  “Welcome.” Kroshtuka’s sister, her eyes shadowed but her smile genuine.

  Another woman came up beside me and said, “There is plenty for you to share. When we’re done, Kroshtuka won’t be able to resist you.”

  “Er. Can I request an outfit that makes him throw up?”

  The woman stared but Krosh’s sister laughed, hiding her amusement behind her hand. “I’m Mina.” She doled out the others’ names at a clip that made
it impossible for me to remember most of them. “He is stubborn. You could roll in dung and shave your head and he would still want you.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She was lifting a dress from a basket and she paused to stare. “For what?”

  “For the loss of your husband. That happened to me as well.”

  She laid a hand on my arm and we shared a moment of sorrow. “I can still find him in my Dreams. That helps.” She gave the dress she held a gentle shake and then held it up to show me.

  “Your dreams?” The dress was a thin white leather with elaborate designs creating a repeating pentagram pattern.

  “Dreams. We are in the Real but we can commune with our loved ones, both alive and dead in our Dreams.” She invited me to feel the leather. It was decadent, how supple it was. “I heard the Dream Mother gave you a Question.”

  “News travels fast.”

  She nodded. “You are a stranger and an intriguing one at that. Of course we are talking about you. Were it me, I would be more worried if people weren’t talking.”

  She dropped the dress over my arm and I sighed. “Do I have to? I mean, I’m not insulting you guys if I sit this celebration thing out?”

  “Of course you’d be insulting us,” she said. “Go. Put it on.” She pushed me toward one of the rooms and I went, feeling out of place and awkward. The dress skimmed over my skin, reminding me of the strange water in the dreaming pool. I slid my hands down my hips, setting the beads at the bottom to swinging. A quick hip twist and they danced. Huh. I didn’t usually wear dresses but this one was fun.

  I endured my hair being braided and fussed with for the occasion but got to return the favor for another young woman whose hands were shaking too badly to do her own. “You okay?”

  “Nervous. In a good way,” she said, seeing my expression.

  We were done too soon. They led me down a white-rock path that curled around the base of the Dreaming Cavern. Around the corner it opened up to a natural amphitheater. The men were already below, drums pounding and smoke curling upward from a giant fire in the middle of the clearing. Mina called out a greeting and the men returned it. I wound down a switchback trail with the rest of the women until we were circling the men and the fire.

  Kroshtuka wore thin white leather buckskin pants. The design on his pants matched the one on my dress. Of course it did. They were all conspiring to get me in his bed, which I was finding less and less objectionable as the day wore on. What worried me most was that I wasn’t worried at all.

  The men’s voices mingled with the women’s to weave a spell of sensuality that my body responded to without my say so. I supposed it didn’t matter. I was giving myself over to the beat, to the slide of material against my skin, to Kroshtuka’s yellow eyes on me each time we passed in front of each other.

  I’d watched dances like these on TV. Dances between the sexes. I never realized how effective they were. My body sang out and yearned to be answered, which sounded so stupid when I held that thought in my mind. Stupid, yet true. It was truth. Kroshtuka was right about that.

  I don’t know how long we danced. Our circle tightened or eased but never allowed the women to touch the men. I came so close to Kroshtuka I swore I could hear his heartbeat, thought I supposed it was only the drums.

  One dance ended and a stout drink was passed about in bronze cups that rang as giddy dancers toasted. I sipped my drink, enjoying the warmth of the alcohol sinking into my bones. Then the cups were set aside and another dance started up. Each time it was the same. A dance, wilder than the last, more drinking, and another dance until people started collapsing on the ground. Others paired off and disappeared into the darkness, hand in hand until only Kroshtuka and I remained on our feet.

  He danced like I imagined he made love, with a rhythm that would carry me over the edge easily. Damn it. How had he managed to get me to think of us in bed? “You’re good.”

  “I know.” His eyes sparked in the darkness, the dying flames changing the color from amber to orange. “I’ve enjoyed watching you move.”

  “Mm. I’ll bet.” My head swam as I swayed and I imagined if I had just another swallow I might be able to float away. “Is this where you carry me off into the bushes and have your way with me?”

  “No. You’ve had too much stout beer. Tonight you sleep. Rest. Tomorrow we hunt. And tomorrow night I have my way with you, when you are aware and willing in my arms.”

  Protest, I told myself. Deny it. Tell him the only way he’ll have with you is showing you the way out. But my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth and wouldn’t allow me to speak. When he held out his arm I took it and let him lead me to bed. He tucked me in and dropped a chaste kiss on my cheek before leaving me to sleep.

  The hangover I expected wasn’t there when I woke, staring at the strange ceiling, its angles and curves easy on the eyes. As I lay there convincing my brain that it should be functioning by now, I wondered what Jasper and Nex were up to, what my kids were doing, how Tytan fared. My worry was back, though not as strong. As much of a relief it was to have it return, I almost regretted it. It was nice not having the weight of them on my shoulders for once.

  Ah well. Welcome to Grown Up Land, Devany. I rose and stretched, then pulled off the beautiful dress so I could put my own clothes back on. Someone had washed and folded them. I put my shirt to my nose and sniffed deep, allowing some of Neutria’s super sniffing power to sneak in. I could smell the camp, the zing of wild magic. And him.

  Get out of my head, hyena man.

  Dressed, my hair combed and pulled back with a leather clasp, I left the hut and followed the smell of food. The village was gathered back at the celebration sight, another fire burning in the middle but with the addition of tables set up along one side, laden with food. As I walked down, Mina joined me, her face glowing.

  “Did you have a good night?”

  “It was a night for celebrating life.” She blushed and turned her head to gaze down at a slender man with long black hair.

  I smiled as she veered off toward him, then I made a beeline for the food. Even the things I didn’t recognize looked good and I piled my plate high, hoping I wasn’t insulting anyone with my greediness. Kroshtuka wasn’t in sight and I ignored the letdown that flooded me. Didn’t need him to make my day. Get a grip, Dev.

  “Did you Dream well?” The little old lady sat with a plate of food on her lap piled higher than mine.

  “Yes I did. Thank you.” I didn’t think we were talking about my alcohol fueled good night’s sleep, but the Dreaming Place sleep.

  “Good.” She gummed a bite of bread and I took the opportunity to stuff my face. Each flavor blended and melded with the others until I was convinced there was a symphony in my mouth.

  “Oh my god. This is amazing.”

  She nodded, chewing enthusiastically.

  A horn sounded. My first thought was the Carnicus had found me somehow, then I saw the man with the conch shell to his lips and the tension left my body. After it sounded a second time, everyone quieted. Grumpy stepped forward. “Today we anoint the hunt.” With shaking hands he shook a leather bag overhead, turning in a drunken circle. “Today we ask the wild magic to grant us succor.” He uncapped a skin, dribbling a thin white liquid to the ground. “Today we give thanks to our hunters for providing.” A younger guy pulled a protesting goat forward. Sure he was going to slit the poor thing’s throat, I averted my gaze.

  The goat bleated. I snuck a glance and saw Mina tossing red paint at it. Looked bloody but the goat was led away unharmed.

  “No use wasting good stock to impress the gods of the hunt,” whispered the old woman.

  Made sense to me. The conch sounded again and Grumpy left the circle. Everyone went back to eating. “That’s it?”

  “We keep them short and simple. The rituals, anyway. Celebrations are more important.” Her toothless grin made me respond in kind.

  Kroshtuka finally appeared, looking confident and competent. He stood ne
ar the fire and waited, his eyes on me. I finished my food, not knowing how long the hunt would take and unwilling to go hungry. When I was done, I walked over to him, my traitorous eyes admiring his body.

  “Are you ready to hunt?”

  “Sure. You ready to lose?”

  He laughed.

  “What are the rules?”

  “We hunt for the white stag. His territory expands beyond the Dreaming Place to the north.”

  Ha. I’d been right about that being north. “Okay.”

  “We change at the gates. I will not interfere with your change or your hunt. You will not interfere with my change or my hunt. Understood?”

  “Basically, no cheating.”

  “Right.”

  “And no matter what I turn into, no one will try to kill me?” I looked around at the group gazing back at us, their eyes eager and interested.

  Kroshtuka raised his voice and addressed the crowd. “Will you all vow not to harm this woman, no matter what form she takes?”

  “How scary could she be?” one man asked, looking young enough to be in high school back on Earth.

  “That’s not the question at hand.” He leveled a stern look on the boy who flushed and ducked his head. “Do you all vow?”

  “We do,” the crowd said, with few variations. No one said nay.

  “Does that satisfy you?”

  “I guess.” I had a sudden fierce wish I could change into something beautiful or graceful like a panther.

  Panther weak. Dumb. Spider strong. Sneaky.

  Sneaky’s good, I told her. We need to win.

  She chittered. Do you want to win?

  “Yes!”

  Kroshtuka raised his eyebrows.

  I shrugged. “Let’s get this over with.” I did want to win. I did. And if I sneaked another peak at him, well, I was only human. Right?

  Not so human anymore. Spider. Skriven. Fleshcrawler. Powerful.

  That too.

  The gate was just a wooden archway with lodestones on each pole. Only Kroshtuka and I stepped through the barrier. As soon as we did he began to change. I swallowed hard, glanced back at the crowd and then let go of the controls.