Learning Lessons: A Losing His Wife Novel

by KT Morrison

  She exhaled, her face frowning, but stifling a laugh as she felt another strange sensation as her insides started to slowly fill with the warm water/vinegar mix. She opened the clamp a little wider once she got used to it and let herself get filled up a little more. When she felt like she’d had enough, like she just didn’t want any more inside her, she shut it off then carefully removed the tube. As the very tip left her, squeezed out of her, it gave her a funny tickle and her belly trembled—she could see it happen. She wanted to expel it; like a not-so-funny spit take. Or very funny, depending on who had to clean it up. She got it under control, felt around her for her book then held it up to read while she let all that fluid sit inside her and clean her out.

  She couldn’t concentrate. She snickered. Then went to laughing at the thought of someone walking in right now—what they would see? Her on the bathmat, knees up to her chest, and a tube up her butthole. Reading a book, looking up at whoever caught her, her face upside down to them. She couldn’t help shaking, laughing at that image, her looking up at them. Caught. The laughing made her stomach feel funny with all that liquid sloshing around in her. God, what would her expression be? Would she start to laugh and then shoot jets of water out of her butt? Once it started it wouldn’t stop. Would Pete see the humour in it at all? Would he laugh?

  She lay in silence for a little while, concentrated on her breathing, gently kneaded her tummy. Then when enough time had passed she carefully rolled to her side and got herself up and then backed to the toilet bowl. She sat down and let it all go. It was a horrendous cascade, splashing and belching. Truly embarrassing. But better now than later, all over Tyler’s lap while Pete watched.

  At the start of the evening Pete had sat next to Jess in the comfortable, modern, elegantly lit, five-hundred-and-twenty-seat theatre attached to the new high school out in Limerick. He was flipping through the agenda for the evening. He flicked the glossy pages, disinterested, until he found what he was looking for. A half page picture of Jess, smiling for the camera; a professional shot, her hair done up, her contacts in so she wasn’t wearing her glasses. She had a wool jacket on with a stiff lapel, just the shoulders visible, and the edge of a black collarless shirt buttoned right up.

  She was nervous that day, asked Pete a hundred times what she should wear; the photographer sent by the Board of Education coming in to snap this picture of her on her lunch break just for this booklet. Pete picked that shirt, her pretty Victorian one with the tiny roses printed on the fabric. Couldn’t even see them in the picture.

  Pete held up the opened page to her, showed her the photo and smiled. She nodded, nervous and tight, her hands folded across her stomach.

  Underneath her picture, in two narrow columns, the text read:

  JESS MAPPLETHORPE, B.A., M.Ed, Grade Three, Jaden Van Public School, Hudsonville, Ohio.

  “As an educator I believe in inspiration. We work to prepare our babies for State testing, for the common core; that is fundamental. But we need a framework of creativity, of flexibility within our principles. We need to water the thirst for knowledge, to create minds that are always desperate to grow. We find it through discipline and organization. Not discipline as it’s come to be known as a negative, but discipline in a certain accountability. A desire to be recognized for our achievements and also accepted for our attempts that may not always hit the mark. We must always be trying, and always be unafraid to try. I know that as a mother of two absolutely wonderful boys that I want for these kids what I want for my own—an education that prepares but also nourishes.

  At one time I believed I would be a famous dancer. I had everything I needed, I thought. I was dedicated, disciplined, and prepared. But at eighteen I completely ruptured my ACL and it took years for me to properly recover. Life is long and you need to be prepared. When dance was no longer an option I didn’t know what I would do. But teaching has helped me find my way. My parents and the school I went to had instilled a desire for learning in me, an obsession with education and discovery. Without that early indoctrination I may have floundered when life offered me that challenge. But I was always hungry to learn. I graduated from Ohio State, then went back for my Masters nine years ago.

  I’ve lived in Hudsonville for seven years now, as long as I’ve been teaching. Hudsonville is my home. I have a wonderful husband who is everything to me, and we raise our family proudly; we couldn’t imagine being anywhere else than this wonderful State, in this wonderful community.”

  “I sound obtuse,” she’d said and groaned. She leaned forward in her chair her hands clasped together, lowered her head, her face was anxious. Chewing gum like crazy. Manic.

  People were filing into the auditorium, everyone dressed up, smiling, shaking hands. Jess’s stomach gurgled loudly. Pete rubbed her back.

  When the announcer called Jess's name to come up to the podium, everyone cheered like they had for the previous recipients. Someone in the back let out a loud piercing whistle blasted out around fingers stuffed in their mouth and it made Pete jump. Jess had some serious fans. Pete thought of Tyler, but it couldn’t be him. Tyler couldn’t show his face around here. So Pete clapped and watched his wonderful wife as she made her way along the aisle reaching out and giving soft high-fives to some of her friends’ hands held out for her as she passed. She was so beautiful. Her light blonde hair tied back and up into a bun. She’d worn her glasses tonight, trying to look like her regular old studious self. Hardly any makeup but for some orangey-red on her perfect lips. She held her long skirt close to her legs as she bounced up the steps onto the stage so she wouldn’t trip on it.

  Pete felt someone watching him, in his periphery there was a white shape of a face turned to him when everyone was looking up at the stage. He looked to his right, saw Sara Bridge briefly, before she turned quickly away. She’d had a strange expression in the moment before she looked back up at Jess on the stage, still clapping for her. What was that about?

  Jess shook the Superintendent’s hand, he was a big black guy in a silvery glen plaid suit. He was all politician smiles, putting one of his huge hands on her back and escorting her to the podium.

  He stepped next to her and leaned to the mic clipped to the edge of the stand, said, “Each year Hudsonville and District awards Teacher of the Year to four teachers who exemplify excellence in creativity, innovation, and initiative. We want to present one of these awards to Jess Mapplethorpe for all she has done for the educational community both in and out of the classroom. She has always been an educator that energizes and mobilizes her students and her fellow faculty.”

  Jess was blushing and watery-eyed and everyone resumed their clapping. Clapping harder now like they purposely wanted to make her cry.

  Pete had to wipe at his own eyes. They didn’t get to Jess, but they got to him, he laughed. He watched her as the superintendent handed her a plaque, much like the two she already had put away in her keepsake box in the top shelf of their closet. He also gave her another cheque for a thousand dollars that he knew she’d put right into the college fund.

  Jess gave a short little speech, reiterating what was written under her profile. He thought he heard her stomach growl, surprised the mic would pick that up. No one seemed to notice so she got away with it.

  He watched her face as she smiled out at all her friends, struggling not to let them see her tear up, even though they could probably all see her lips and chin trembling. He was so in love with that girl up there. She had so much to give. She waved and bowed, she twinkled her fingers and gave a silent Hi to someone sitting up front.

  Was she missing her new favourite face in the crowd? Did she want to look out here and see her handsome boyfriend cheering her on? That might make her life complete. She had everything she wanted, but there was something that could be improved. This 170 pound balding lump could be a 240 pound stud with abs and a nine inch cock. She would like that, wouldn’t she? Of course she would. Looking out here and seeing the man of her dreams, her two boys, maybe a couple more,
another one growing in her belly. Her handsome man turning all the other mom’s heads, making their eyes go dreamy. She could pull that stud. She was hot enough to keep his feet warm. What the fuck was she doing with Pete? He was a one-hour visit to a cheap lawyer away from losing it all. She could get it all done in her lunch break if she decided. Fine one day, served papers the next. Bye, Pete. Take your little pecker with you. Have a nice life. Tyler’s stepping in. Don’t worry, he’ll raise the boys, make me come each and every night. We won’t even miss you.

  “Just pull over up here,” she said, pointing ahead of them, waving at the side of the road. They were on Tullyfield heading north towards home. It was a broad four-lane drive with a brick paved island separating northbound from southbound, completely quiet now this time of night. It had wide shoulders and they were snow-covered, a light dusting, just like the conifers that lined the long drive. Pete and Jess were on their way home in the minivan. Jess had seemed tense and uptight. Her stomach had been making more noises.

  “Are you okay? Are you going to be sick?”

  “What? No, I’m fine Pete. Just pull over up ahead. Where that guy is standing.”

  There was a dull green Hydro box ahead on the right, set back a dozen feet from the road. There was a big guy standing next to it with a steaming tall coffee cup in his hand, shifting from foot to foot.

  “Pull up here?” Pete asked her.

  Jess laughed, “Yeah, Pete, come on.”

  The guy was tall, bulky, a Carhartt work jacket on, a hooded sweatshirt underneath with the hood pulled right up over his head. He had baggy jeans and work boots on his big feet.

  Come on, what? he thought. She was laughing like he was missing something obvious.

  Pete pulled to the side, towards the curb, stopping yards short of the man standing there. He was looking over at them and it made Pete worried. He kept the van in drive.

  “Jess?” he said, turning to her but keeping his eye on the stranger, watching this guy walking towards them now. She was watching him too.

  The guy looked around suspiciously, threw his coffee cup in the bushes. He looked like he was heading right to their van.

  Pete let his foot off the brake and the van started to roll forward.

  “Petey, Petey,” Jess was laughing. She put her hand on him, gripped his forearm. “It’s Tyler,” she said, her voice high and bright, getting a kick out of this.

  The side door slid open and Tyler threw himself into the bench right behind them, bringing the stinging cold in with him.

  “Hoo,” he exclaimed loudly, “freezing out there,” clapping his gloved hands together, frost from his breath still. “I thought you weren't going to show up,” he said, slamming the door closed, hard, making the van shake.

  “We wouldn’t do that to you,” Jess said.

  “What the hell is this?” Pete said.

  Jess looked at him, her mouth eased into a wide toothy red-lipstick smile. She said, “Just a little fun.”

  Jess was turned sideways in her seat, her back against the passenger door. Pete looked back at Tyler, sitting behind on the bench, taking his gloves off.

  Pete said, “Who’s got the kids?”

  “Ashley’s there, Pete, don’t worry,” Jess said.

  “Ashley? But—”

  “It’s all right. Everything is fine, they’re with the sitter,” she said in a soothing but condescending tone.

  He looked back at Tyler who gave him a big smile, raised his eyebrows high, enjoying this as much as Jess.

  The van filled up with white light as a car came up behind them. Pete put his hazards on.

  Jess said, “Let’s get going.”

  “Where?” Pete said as he looked in his side mirror and pulled back onto the road after the car passed.

  “Head out to the main street.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “Pete, remember when you turned thirty-five I sent you out to do a bunch of dumb errands and you scoffed, said, Why do I have to do all this shit on my birthday? When you came back I had all those people hiding in the house for a surprise party? You told me how much you liked that.”

  “Surprise party? Yeah, I remember—”

  “Well, surpri-ise,” she said, pointed two index fingers up in the air and spun them in celebratory circles.

  Tyler laughed out loud and deep behind them. He reached in his coat and took out a pewter flask and unscrewed the top. “You’re so crazy, Jessy-baby,” he said.

  He took a long drink from it and handed it to Pete, but Pete held up his palm, refused it. Tyler shrugged and passed it to Jess and she took it. She tipped it back and took a few deep gulps from it. She screwed up her face like a little kid and shuddered, handed it back to Tyler.

  Pete said, “Jess, you don’t drink.”

  She was still grimacing, held the back of her hand to her mouth for a moment, squinting, then with a hoarse voice said, “I also don’t fuck men in my minivan in the winter while my husband watches. Look at me now.”

  Pete swallowed.

  She held his gaze, cleared her throat, said, “I also don’t accept a teacher award, stand up in front of all my friends and coworkers, smile and hold the plaque and the whole time my panties are at home in their drawer.”

  Tyler laughed out loud again.

  Pete said, “You mean...”

  “Look at me now.” She raised her skirt up slowly, holding the delicate light cotton in her long fingers, smiling at him while she did it, watching his face. His heart hammered in his chest. He watched those sweet bare legs get revealed one slow inch at a time, aching to see if she was lying. She wasn’t. She raised it right up to her hips, her legs bare, pressed together, no sign of her panties where they creased at her hip; she let her legs fall wide open and he saw her bare sex. Freshly shaved and shining, healthy and happy as could be. She looked a little aroused already.

  Tyler hung over the edge of her seat and looked down between her legs.

  “Isn’t she so bad?” he said, more to Jess than to Pete. He swapped his pewter flask to his other hand and then reached down between her legs and she giggled as he stroked her.

  “You’re not wearing any undies either, I hope,” she said to Tyler. She had hooked her little finger between her lips, the nail pressed between her white teeth.

  Tyler laughed and he fell back onto the bench and Pete could hear him messing around back there, fabric brushing on fabric, a zipper pulled. Jess covered herself, leaned forward to peer into the back seat.

  “Oh, God, look at you,” Jess whispered. She got farther between the front seats and reached back, probably grabbing at Tyler’s penis.

  “Jess, come on, put your seatbelt on,” Pete said.

  Jess sat back down, beaming, biting her lower lip. “Take us to the Costco,” she said, bouncing in the front seat as she clicked herself in.

  “To the Costco?”

  “Yeah. Park there. It’s closed—not a twenty-four hour. It’s quiet, empty. I want you to watch something.”

  Pete exhaled, pushed all the air out of his lungs. The road ahead got very narrow, suddenly extended deep into infinity, “O-okay, Jess,” he said. He narrowed his eyes. His lips were dry and he licked them.

  Pete pulled the van off the nighttime quiet road and into the empty parking lot of the Costco on Bowers Avenue. He drove into the centre of the lot, stopped just at the edge of the circle of bright pink-yellow light cast by a pole thirty feet above them.

  Jess turned up the heater, twisted the knob into the red zone. She slipped out of her coat.

  “Keep it running, Pete,” she said, and she sat forward, looking between the front seats to Tyler sitting behind him. She was anxious looking, but he saw her tense face ease into a smile.

  “What are you going to do?” Pete asked her, his voice was low and quiet.

  “I’m going to give Tyler something. For all the things he’s given me.”

  Pete wondered what that meant.

  Jess climbed over the console
and into the back seat and Tyler helped her. Pete turned in his seat to watch them. Tyler pulled Jess to curl up in his lap. She had her legs tucked up under her, hidden under her long skirt. They were looking into each other’s eyes and then they started to kiss. Gently, Jess pulling at his lips with hers, biting him softly. She brought her hand up and rested it on his cheek. Tyler’s hands searched for the bottom of her skirt, then disappeared up underneath. Jess let her legs part, opened herself so he could find her hot opening.

  “What are you going to give him, Jess?” Pete asked.

  Jess's face broke into a smile and she laughed while she kept kissing Tyler. Tyler’s eyes opened. He said, “No way,” and now he was smiling too.

  “Pete’s never been back there. I’ve never had anyone back there,” she said to Tyler.

  “Really? Pete’s little dick is good for anal.”

  Jess laughed, said, “This is my first time.”

  “Jess, you’ve never done that with me.” He was her husband. Shouldn’t he be first?

  “I want Tyler to be my first. Don’t you think that’s sexy?”

  He nodded.

  “Petey?” she said.

  “Yes.”

  Jess went back to kissing with Tyler, the two of them with their eyes closed, sucking on each others’ lips. Pete put the van in gear and let it roll forward until some of the light spilled in and brightened up the action on the bench behind him.

  Jess got off Tyler’s lap, her lips still pressed to him and she knelt next to him on the bench. Tyler’s other hand went up her skirt now and he slipped it between her legs from behind and it made Jess moan.

  Tyler’s jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped and Jess's hand travelled down between his legs and slipped between the open denim V. She pulled his cock out, half hard but big in her little hand. She gently stroked it and squeezed it and Pete watched. He could see it grow while she worked it.