Learning Lessons: A Losing His Wife Novel

by KT Morrison

  Later, much later, must have been three in the morning, she woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. Sand scratched at every part of her. Her back, her shoulders, in the tight folds of her neck. It was in between her legs, the creases of her ass and between her legs. It was even in her vagina. She got up, got herself in the bathroom.

  She ran the shower, turned the lever to hot, stood and waited for it to come to temperature. In the corner of her eye, she saw someone else in the bathroom with her. An older woman wanting to be someone else. She looked good, she looked sexy. She only wanted to touch the things she thought had been moved from her grasp.

  Jess put her hand out to the mirror, maybe to comfort her. She saw her trembling hand, reaching out to touch that woman’s fingers as she also reached to her. Her hand shook—her hand, looking like someone else’s hand, a visible mark left on her skin from where her ring should be. Where it had been for seven years. She avoided the reflection, avoided that sad woman with the faintest of lines starting to trace her eyes, the corners of her mouth. She stared at the hand. That was her hand. She had to convince herself. Attach herself before she collapsed again, lost in a panic like she did that first day back at school after Christmas.

  She got in the tub, leaned her hands against the wall, lowered her neck under the chrome shower head and let the hot water wash over her. Even though she was only a thousand miles from home it might as well have been a million.

  39

  Banished

  Tuesday, February 14th

  Pete pulled into the driveway of the home that he’d bought with Jess seven years ago. Their real estate agent had messed up the offer. There was a two-day period where they thought they weren’t going to get it. Then the other family that had put an offer in couldn’t go firm in time. They got it and they threw themselves a party that night. No alcohol, Jess was pregnant.

  The storm hadn’t come this weekend. If it had he knew he’d have come here despite the awful thing he’d said to her. He wouldn’t let anything happen to those two baby cedars.

  The minivan was in the driveway, they’d got back from the airport all right it would seem. This wasn’t going to be easy.

  He got out of the Buick and he went to the front door, rang the bell. He stood at the glass insert of the door. A warbled image of his wife came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a tea towel. She looked puzzled. He waved.

  “Pete?” she said, opening the door for him, letting him in. “What is it? Is everything okay?”

  “Everything’s good, Jess. How was your trip?”

  She looked up, hemmed, unsure of how to answer, like she didn’t know what to say about it to the man who used to be her husband. It didn’t matter. He didn’t want to know how it was. He was just making small talk.

  He stopped her floundering, said, “You got some colour.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You look good.” When she got a healthy tan after a long summer she would get the lightest blonde, almost invisible fuzz along the back of her shoulders.

  “Where are the boys? I thought we agreed they would just come here after school tomorrow...”

  “I didn’t bring them. They’re still at my sister’s.”

  “You could if you were—”

  “I won’t be bringing them back here.”

  “Excuse me?” her face went firm.

  “They can’t be here, Jess.”

  She threw the towel she was holding down on the deacon’s bench, said, “They can’t...my boys? Pete, don’t start something, we were all getting along—”

  “Jess, how much have you given him?”

  Her mouth dropped. “What do you mean?”

  “How much money have you given Tyler?”

  She couldn’t look at him, she threw her hands up and shook her head, mumbling something to herself. Like he was rude to ask.

  “How much, Jess?”

  “I don’t know, Pete, little bits here and there. I haven’t added it up. I do keep track.”

  “He say he’s going to pay you back?”

  “Of course.”

  “Nine thousand. A bit under.”

  She stared at him.

  “That includes the vacation though. That was your treat, I suppose. I was at the bank today.”

  “It’s my money, Pete. I work.”

  He shrugged, said, “Mm, debatable. We are still a family. But I won’t argue. It’s your money too.”

  She folded her arms up and her brow lowered, “He’s not scamming me, you know. I’m not stupid. He loves me.”

  Pete couldn’t help smiling. “I agree. I don’t think he’s conning you. I don’t think he’s after your money. Jess, I really believe he loves you. I really do. You’re too good to him.”

  Her posture softened, she kept her arms folded but she slumped a little. He figured that this had been weighing on her. She wasn’t stupid. She wouldn’t just give her money away.

  “Jess, do you know what you’re doing?”

  She was looking at a spot on the floor. “I don’t know.”

  “I think he should go, Jess.”

  “Whoa, no way, Pete. That’s not your decision.”

  “Well, the boys aren’t coming here until I straighten something out with him. Is he here?”

  “Pete, that is not a good idea. And don’t you dare threaten me with my kids. Not my boys, Pete...”

  Pete walked past her and headed down the hall past the powder room into the kitchen. He called out, “Tyler!”

  “Pete, don’t.” She grabbed the arm of his coat but he pulled himself away.

  “Tyler!”

  She got up next to him again. Tyler was at the top of the stairs now.

  “Pete? What are you yelling about?”

  She whispered, “Pete, please don’t tell him you’re not bringing the boys back here.”

  She had no idea what had got into him but this was bad. She was worried for Pete.

  Tyler came down the stairs and into the kitchen. Jess let go of Pete’s arm and stepped to the side as the two of them came face to face between the island and the table.

  Pete said, “I don’t think you should be here anymore.”

  Tyler laughed at him. He was wearing a T-shirt and track pants, no slippers, just his bare feet. They’d been getting ready to go to bed, now this. “You don’t?” Tyler said.

  “That’s not me, Tyler. I’m not saying that. Pete’s saying that, I don’t know what’s got into him. Pete, I don’t want him to leave. You have no right—”

  “No right? I have plenty of rights,” Pete said, moving towards her, making sure she was hearing him.

  Tyler put his big hand on the front of Pete’s coat and pushed him back easily. “Hey, don’t go near her. Just stay over there.”

  Pete smiled at him. “Real tough guy, Tyler. Think you can take me?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “No kidding, Einstein. You’re real tough with someone you’re not afraid of.”

  What was he doing? He’d gone crazy talking like that. “Pete, you didn’t...you don’t...have a gun...do you?”

  He laughed at her, blurted, “What? Are you crazy? I’m going to go to jail over this lowlife?”

  Tyler bumped Pete with his chest, moved him back. “You wouldn’t stand a chance with me even if you had a gun.”

  Pete looked at him seriously, unafraid. “You know that’s not true.”

  Tyler’s jaw clenched and unclenched. His jaw muscles bulging and jumping.

  Pete said, “You’re not Superman just because you’re saturated with steroids. Bullets will rip through you. I know you know that.”

  Tyler said, “Pete, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here—”

  “I want my family back.”

  “Jess made her decision. You’re the one that’s out.”

  Pete showed him his chin, squinted his eyes at him, said, “You’re taking money from her.”

  Jess said, “Pete, don’t—”

  “You fu
cking trying to embarrass me?” he bumped Pete with his chest again, stepped into him until he had Pete’s back against the wall. “Are you trying to fucking embarrass me?”

  Then Pete said, “Go ahead. Why don’t you break my leg? Break my leg and I can sue you for thirty-five grand that I’ll never see because you’re a deadbeat.”

  Jess cried, “Pete, have you gone cra—”

  Tyler said, “Fuck you say?” cocking his head, squaring up.

  “You’re a deadbeat.”

  Tyler punched him hard in the stomach, lifted his feet off the linoleum, and Jess cried out, frantic. “Tyler, don’t!”

  Pete dropped to the floor on his hands and knees. His head fell, buried into the crook of his arm. He made a long, low moan. He couldn’t breathe in.

  She got in between them, pushed at Tyler, tried to give Pete some space. “Don’t Tyler, don’t, don’t, don’t.”

  “Way to pick sides, Jess,” he said, fists clenched at his hips.

  “Tyler, don’t, come on now. I’m not...” She put her hands up on his chest. “Baby, please. Petey?” She turned to her husband, afraid to kneel to him in case it would upset Tyler. So she stood stupidly next to him, bent at the waist with her arms folded. “Petey, can you breathe?”

  He was inhaling now, a loud raspy voice-tinged whine. He lifted a hand slightly.

  Tyler grabbed Pete by the back of the neck and lifted him up.

  “Tyler, baby, stop!”

  He put Pete in a headlock and Pete let him. He was still struggling to breathe.

  “Tyler, please!” she yelled. She hit him on the back with her little fist but it was like hitting the fridge.

  “Jess, don’t,” he said. He took Pete and walked him down the hall, still in a headlock, Pete’s feet stumbling along to keep up.

  She broke down crying. That was her Pete. “Stop, Tyler!” she wailed now, her face trembled, her eyes filled with tears. “Stop! Please, don’t hurt him. He doesn’t mean it. He’s not making any sense!”

  Tyler let him go and shoved him towards the front door. Pete fell against it, then doubled over. His face was red, his eyes watery. Tyler turned back to her, said, “Jess, please don’t cry. Jess, I’m sorry. I’m kicking him out, baby.” He came right to her and hugged her. She cried into his chest. Cried and sobbed, put her hand on him as her tears soaked his shirt.

  “I am...making sense, Jess. I...mean it. Tyler...knows what I’m talking about.”

  Tyler said, “Get out, Pete. Go. Look what you’ve done.”

  Pete leaned back against the door, still bent at the knees, face pained. He was clutching his stomach. He groaned, struggled for air, said, “Real great guy...you love my...boys so much...but this is what you do to their...father...what would they...think...ungh...they saw this?”

  Tyler let her go and he strode right up so he could get in Pete’s face again. He said, “You’re really asking for it, Pete. I’m giving you a chance to get out of here without getting hurt.”

  Pete raised his head to him, he groaned, “That’s...ah...why I’m here.”

  “Then go.”

  “I’m here...because you’re asking for it...I’m the one...giving you a chance...to get out of here...without getting hurt.”

  Tyler leaned a hand against the wall next to Pete’s head, pointed a finger in his face while he said, “Pete, stop. You need to leave, okay? Don’t make a fool of yourself.”

  Pete pushed his hand away weakly, said, “I talked to someone this afternoon...someone who knows you.”

  Tyler cocked his head again, different this time. It made her think he knew what Pete was talking about.

  “Who?”

  “You fucked his wife too...he didn’t take it as well as I did.”

  “What did you do?” Tyler was intent.

  “He’s coming here to kill you...I came here to give you a chance...”

  Jess gasped, “Tyler?”

  Tyler said, “You’re fucking lying.”

  “Mark Draper. Cop. Big moustache. You fucked his wife Linda. Met her at AA. He told me he was going to shoot you right through the heart.” Pete watched his own finger as he touched it in the centre of Tyler’s chest.

  Jess said, “No, Pete. Tyler, what’s he talking about?”

  Pete said, “Yeah, Jess. He ran away. Hid. He thought the coast was clear, but it’s not. This guy’s still hot. And now he knows where you are because I told him.”

  Tyler shook his head. “He can’t still—”

  “You think a man’s going to forget that? Forget the hurt you caused? You think he wakes up one morning and decides what you did to him wasn’t going to hurt anymore?”

  Tyler slammed his fist right through the wall next to Pete’s head. It made a loud pop, and drywall crumbled to the floor. Pete ducked, slumped along the wall, his back pressed to it.

  Jess cried, “Pete, what is going on?”

  Tyler paced in the hall in front of Pete. Back and forth, back and forth, his arms pumping angrily. He stopped and he roared a tremendous rage-filled bellow, fists clenched and shaking. It was frightening.

  “Why!” he screamed at Pete. “Why the fuck did you do that!” He grabbed the front of Pete’s coat and lifted him up easily.

  “No, no, no,” Jess yelled and she hopped behind him and wrapped her arms around his big, broad back. “Don’t hurt him, Tyler!”

  Jess and Tyler saw it first. Then Pete turned and watched too. Out the front window of the door, they could see headlights turning into their cul-de-sac. A car creeping slowly, ominously. A mysterious killer coming to execute her Tyler.

  “Tyler?” she whispered.

  Tyler let Pete go and he fell back against the wall, still turned to watch the madman he had summoned come to their home.

  Tyler stepped backward, away from the door, his eyes still watching. The headlights got closer, slowly making their way to the Mapplethorpe driveway. The headlights lit up the snow in the yard.

  Tyler slipped his bare feet into his boots, he grabbed his coat. He walked down the hall, his eyes were on Jess, he was shaking his head.

  The car went past, pulled into the house across the street. A minivan. Ashley’s mom. Not a killer.

  “Tyler, wait,” she called to him. “It’s the neighbour.”

  Pete said, “He is coming, Tyler. I swear. He’s coming to kill you. He will be here any minute.”

  Tyler marched to her. His face was so troubled. She wrapped her arms around him and he held her.

  “I love you, Jess,” he said. He kissed her, held her neck and she breathed him in.

  “Don’t go, Tyler. We’ll figure this out...”

  Tyler stepped back, he wiped at his wet eyes with the back of his hand. “I’ll be back, Jessy.”

  “Tyler?”

  “Baby, I’ll come back.”

  He walked down the hall backward, his eyes trembling. The laces of his untied boots danced around his feet. He walked through the kitchen his eyes still on her. “Don’t cry, Jessy.” He disappeared in the dark hall. She heard the rumble of the sliding glass door. It opened, then closed.

  She fell to her knees. The tears came and there was no way she could stop them. She exploded in agonizing sobs. She fell back and sat on her feet, she cried up to the ceiling. Pete was next to her, standing quietly.

  She screamed at him, “Why! Why, Pete! Why did you do that!” She pounded her tiny fists as hard as she could against her knees. Pounded them again and again, crying for her daddy like a spoiled little girl. She hated herself.

  Pete knelt next to her, said, “I did it because I love you.”

  “Oh, no, no,” she cried and moaned over and over and still her husband stayed by her side.

  Finally, he took her by her hair, he was gentle but firm. He pulled her to him, to look him in the eyes, she gripped his wrist softly.

  “If you’d chosen me I wouldn’t leave you if there were a hundred men coming to kill me.” He let her go and stood.

  “I know,” she gasped, �
�I know.”

  He left quietly and closed the front door behind him.

  She cried herself raw, cried until she fell asleep there, curled up alone in her front hall in her dark, empty home.

  Epilogue

  Friday, July 7th

  Pete drove through his neighbourhood on a beautiful, hot and sunny Friday evening. Everyone was out. The dog park was packed, runners out in their short shorts and headphones, Tonya Waterhouse was walking the sidewalk with her stroller and her new beau. Not too bad looking this guy, tall and slim. Her mom had gone back to her old life. He honked and waved to them.

  He pulled into his cul-de-sac, headed for his home. The mini-van was there in the driveway, and a sparkling white Cadillac with Arizona plates. He pulled in behind it.

  Sargent was at the gate at the side of the house, standing up on his hind legs, his happy, red face peering over the top, excited to see Pete. “Hey, buddy,” he said and he stood for a bit and ruffled his face-fur and shook his jowls. He went to the front door and knocked lightly.

  “Hiya, Pete,” Conrad said, holding the door open and letting him in. He was looking tan and fit even though he wasn’t getting as much golfing done here as he would back in Arizona. He was wearing shorts and a black polo, had a dishcloth thrown over one shoulder.

  “Shh-sh” he shushed him in a friendly way, gave him a wink and a smile. He held Pete’s upper arm and walked him to the family room. “She’s having a nap,” he whispered. He left him there and went back to the kitchen.

  Pete watched her as she slept on the couch. Sleeping so peacefully, a hot sheen to her skin despite a fan on the floor beside her, blowing and oscillating. Bare legs, bare feet, little pale blue maternity dress that came down to the tops of her thighs. God, she was so fucking sexy when she was pregnant.

  Since March they had been swapping an apartment. Pete would stay out by himself one week, she would stay out the other. Just so the boys would always be in their home. Pete and Jess would be the ones who would be disrupted, not Petey and Andy. Then Jess discovered she was pregnant.

  Since then he’d let her stay at the house. He lived at the apartment but he was taking the boys on the weekends. Conrad had moved in six weeks ago to help her. She was third trimester now. She looked like she was ready to burst.