Several long moments passed before she responded. “You deserve a better life than being tied to a killer,” she whispered.
Not wanting to be overly aggressive and grab her like my gut told me to, I stopped walking. I couldn’t let the alpha in me rear up. She was the uppskera. A show of dominance, no matter how slight or well meaning, could be disastrous. When she stopped beside me, I almost put my hands on her arms. But I let them drop away. It would be inappropriate and I couldn’t go there again.
“We’re all killers, Ayra. It’s in our nature, and I don’t mean as wolves, I mean as humans. You are a killer of killers. You stop them from doing any more harm, which they would certainly do, being varúlfur.” I clasped my hands in front of me. If I didn’t I was afraid I’d wrap her in my arms. “I’ve been tied to you since the first day we met, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
She took a step closer. Before reaching me, she stopped and pinned me with an angry glare. That look coming from anyone else would have started a fight they’d be hard pressed to win.
“You want to be close to the uppskera, to take advantage of the power that comes from being associated with me, just like all the others,” she accused.
“Gods, no, never! I don’t care about you being the uppskera, I don’t care about power. I care about you, that’s all I’ve ever cared about.” Maybe that was going too far, revealing too much, but I couldn’t take it back now.
She ran a hand through her hair again, but didn’t march off, so I took it as a good sign. Might as well go for broke. “If it were up to me, we’d be in Iceland right now, getting you registered for the fall semester at Reykjavik like you always wanted. After you got your master’s we’d chase storms together.” I had to swallow and take a breath before I could go on. “But Odin has other plans for you, for us.”
I thought I saw the sparkle of moisture in her eyes before she turned and started walking. Good sign or bad, I didn’t like that I’d caused her pain either way. This time she kept her pace slow.
“I wanted to come to Iceland, desperately, but I couldn’t. For one, I didn’t think you wanted me there,” she said, bitterness thick in her tone.
The hesitance of her words made me think I wasn’t the only one with something to hide. “And for two?”
Gaze on the path before her, she bared her teeth, which sported sets of canine fangs. “Calder wouldn’t let me. I tried, twice, almost made it to the airport once, before he dragged me back, beat me, and threatened to kill me if I tried again. Then my parents arranged my engagement to Elí and everything changed.”
The growl that roared through me surprised me as much as it did her. Fury built behind it. Desperate for a release, I punched a tree. Bark and bits of wood exploded as my fist blew right through the side of it. Ah, Hel, and here I was supposed to be the one helping her control her violent tendencies. In this, I couldn’t help it. The thought of someone tormenting her made me want to explore all sides of my rage out on that person, especially when it was her own brother.
A slight smile tugged at the corners of Ayra’s lips, cooling my ire instantly. “Maybe I should be helping you with your killer instinct,” she said. The teasing tone in her voice heartened me. Maybe I could be what she needed after all.
“When it comes to Calder, yes,” I admitted.
Her head tilted up, gaze traveling through the trees to stare at the nearly full moon fading to a pale disk in the dawn sky. She started walking faster. “We need to get to Idaho,” she said.
She had said “we”. My heart soared high as a Valkyrie. I nodded. “Yes, he has to be stopped.” The sooner we stopped him, the sooner she could get back to pursuing her dreams, her life.
“Yeah, he does. Sonya texted me. She’s on her way there now. She felt the call of a newly bitten,” she said.
Concern pinched at me. Could she handle another reaping again so soon? She was stronger than I’d ever seen her. The way she held her head up despite the fathomless depth of torment in her eyes blew me away. She sped up, making it clear she was going whether I thought she was ready or not. I had to lengthen my stride to keep up with her, a lot.
“When did she text you?”
“Right before I went to the cabin. The more important question is, why didn’t she feel the pull to the one here like I did?”
My brows rose. “That’s how you found him, you felt a pull?”
She gave one quick nod, more a dip of her head really.
“If you felt the pull, that means he was beyond saving. The uppskera only feels the pull once the bitten starts to tip over toward madness,” I quoted from one of the old books at the temple. Another quick nod from her. It had been in the uppskera journals, of which the temple had copies.
“It was more than that, though. He’d been mad before being bitten in. I could feel it in him, like a dark stain on his soul. He’d killed before, when he was human,” she said.
That hadn’t been in the journal. “You could feel all that?”
“Yes.”
A shiver ran through me. That made it so much worse than just having to kill the man. To see inside him down to his darkness… It was one thing to know true evil existed in the world, but to touch it like that, I couldn’t even imagine how horrible that had to be. I took hold of her hand as we continued to walk, figuring it was okay considering the situation. It took a moment, but she still withdrew her hand.
My pocket vibrated, making me jump. Damn, I forgot I had stuffed Ayra’s phone in there when I didn’t find her in her tent. Eyes pinching into a questioning glare, she looked at my pocket, her uppskera superpowers easily hearing the sound. I pulled it out and handed it to her.
“I grabbed it when I didn’t find you in your tent, just in case.”
She accepted it without a word and looked down at the screen. Power started to crackle and snap around her, jumping and biting at my skin even though I stood a few feet away. Her eyes shone in the way predators do in the night. But it was more than that, it was pure fury, the scary kind. Instinct told me step back. I ignored it.
“What is it?” I asked. Part of me feared it would be Elí. My jaw clenched.
“Calder.” The one word was so much of a growl that I barely understood it. Through all that anger I heard a deep-rooted pain that made my hackles rise.
With her in so much pain, I didn’t want to ask, but I had to. “What did he say?”
She handed the phone back to me with hands that shook.
I had hoped my man would fare better, but I did enjoy the video. I’m sure it will go, how do you kids say, viral, when I upload it at the end of this month.
My fingers clenched in an involuntary spasm born of anger. I stopped myself just before I could crush the phone. The tone of the text both reminded me that Calder was nearly seventy years old, and revealed the depth of his insanity. One hand went to the camera in my pocket. I wanted to crush it, but it could hold clues to Calder’s location.
“He wouldn’t,” I growled.
“He will. He’s gathering footage to post on a site that will out us to the world. I read it in his journal,” Ayra countered in an eerily calm tone.
My skin crawled with the primal fear of discovery. “How can we be sure he didn’t live stream straight to a website or social media feed?”
“We can’t be. But I know he would want to wait, to draw out our fear of him doing it, torture me with it. That part is just as important to him as the reveal itself.”
“But his method is insane. If people see this they’ll hunt us down, not let us take our place in the world beside him.”
Ayra nodded. “That’s what he wants. He doesn’t want to be beside them in the light, he wants to rule over them.”
“Why is he drawing it out?”
“Partly to torture me until he can figure out how to kill me, partly because it has something to do with this attack he’s planning at the end of the month.” The emotionless way she spoke made dread prickle along the back of my neck.
> I hated to press her, but I had to ask. “Can we be sure he won’t do it sooner?”
Her eyes flicked my way for a few steps. “I’m sure. My brother is very patient in his schemes.”
“Good.” Ayra looked at me with wide, surprised eyes. I went on, “His arrogance will give us plenty of time to catch him and kill him before he can carry this out.”
She almost smiled. “Yes, we have to. He’s planning more, a war. Maniac wants to rule over this world.” And here I’d left her alone with that son of a bitch for four years. I couldn’t speak anymore, which was a bad sign for me. From high above, an owl hooted as we walked beneath its tree. Recalling the incident with the eagle, my protective instincts reared up. Silly on several levels, I knew, but knowing that didn’t quell it. The sound had an eerie warning note to it that raked across my nerves. We both picked up our pace. I wasn’t sure which I wanted more; to get to Idaho, or to get out from beneath the all too sharp gaze of that owl. Maybe it was just nerves, or maybe it was my actions that disrespected her relationship with Elí, but now I felt like everything was watching us.
Chapter Eight
Instincts must be mastered by the third night of their first full moon, else the newly bitten will be lost to insanity and turned over to the reaper.
~Uppskera Journals
Ayra
I couldn’t shake the sick feeling in my stomach. It wasn’t from watching the footage, though that definitely didn’t help. All that had been on that was the condemned killing that poor couple, and then fighting the berserkr and me. No hints as to where Calder might be. The son of a bitch had covered his tracks like I knew he would.
With each hour that passed, the sick feeling grew. It felt like hunger, but I knew that wasn’t it. Vidar bought me a combo meal at the last fast food place we’d passed. Though I had no appetite I’d downed it so he wouldn’t worry so much. It aggravated me that he worried about me now, after all these years. I could have used some of that concern when my parents were pushing my training to the point of me puking from exhaustion or my brother was beating another lesson into me. I got why he left, I just wasn’t ready to be okay with it.
If only he had told me sooner, like years ago. I might not have agreed to marry Elí if I hadn’t felt so abandoned. I couldn’t think about that, though. It stirred the ever-present anger in me back to life.
The delicious smell of French fries still lingered in the cab of the truck despite our windows being down. It brought my mind back to food, and to the feeling in my stomach.
No, this was something else. Hunger might not be far off, but this was not the kind that filled one’s stomach. This resonated through my entire body. An hour or so before Missoula, I figured it out when I started to feel the pull. My gaze traveled out across the rolling hills of wheat and grass bathed in bright sunlight. Somewhere out there a newly bitten was very close to losing their sanity. The time for me to step in grew near. But this person felt like they were trying. Today was the last day of the full moon, the day after technically, but the last day that it forced newly bitten who couldn’t control themselves to change.
The seeker had those three days to convince the newly bitten to face their wolf, to control it. If she couldn’t by the end of the third day, our laws said I had to put it down. Three days of uncontrollable shifting fried the sanity right out of a newly bitten. After that, they’d never to be able to control it, and they’d keep killing. So said the old journals of past uppskera that I’d been reading. The likelihood that I’d have to kill again increased with each hour.
I tried to take comfort in the fact that I was a killer of killers, someone who prevented them from doing more harm to others. Vidar repeated it often enough to me that I heard it in my sleep. When I could sleep, which wasn’t often. And it would have been comforting, had I not wanted to kill again so badly. I wasn’t sure yet if it was only for the sheer thrill of it, or a desire to rid the world of another psycho. Did it make me one of them if the primary reason was the prior?
I flipped another page in Calder’s journal and puzzled over what I saw there. “What the hell?” I murmured.
“What is it?” Vidar asked, glancing my direction.
“It looks like a…schedule. Routes, roads, DOC, hmmm…” Chills bubbled across my skin like snowflakes as I realized what it was. “Oh, Odin. No.”
“What?” Vidar’s voice had turned urgent.
A news story I’d seen made it click into place. “It’s routes for the transport of prisoners. Oh my gods, that’s where Calder is getting the condemned. He’s attacking prisoner transports, freeing them, and biting in criminals.”
Vidar cursed in Icelandic before saying, “That sick son of a bitch.”
The pull yanked at me like a scent trail. “Take a right up there,” I said, pointing to a side road.
With the impressive skill of one who drove fast often and well, he took the turn in a split second, managing to keep it smooth so it didn’t jostle my bike in the back. He scored huge points for the last part. After a mile, the road turned to gravel. The rev of the truck’s engine eased as Vidar let his foot off the gas a little. His gaze shot to the sun, which had nearly reached the horizon.
“How fast do I need to go?” he asked.
I reached for the pull, trying to gauge the intensity of it. While it remained just beneath the surface, telling me we were headed in the right direction, the urgency had gone out of it. Strange, considering night drew closer by the moment.
“This speed is good.”
The fields soon turned to fir and aspen trees alongside the road. Vidar’s stimulating deep voice filled the truck. Thankfully, he didn’t broach the subject of the verndari or Elí again. Something like that needed processing. I was far from ready to talk about it.
He went on about Idaho. He covered everything from the terrain and climate, to the one pack known to reside not far from this location. I didn’t mind. The sound of his voice soothed me. It always had. He liked to talk and I liked to listen no matter what he talked about. I knew he was trying to take my mind off what I might have to do, and I loved him for that, but I also think he was trying to take his mind off it.
Part of me wanted to believe what he’d said meant he wanted me as a woman. But could I really believe that? A person could change a lot in four years. Not to mention that would mean breaking his celibacy vow and my promise to Elí and his pack.
A good chance remained that I could push Vidar away, convince him to move on and find a mate. I should want that for him, but I didn’t. The very thought made my skin burn with jealousy. It was wrong on many levels, but I couldn’t stop feeling it.
As we approached a stop sign at an intersection of all gravel roads, I reached for the pull again. It was all but gone. From my open window I caught a familiar scent. “Take a left,” I told Vidar as we rolled up to the stop sign.
“Should I speed up?” he asked.
“No need.”
“Sonya will be safer if we get there early. You don’t have to worry about your bike. I can handle this truck with ease.”
“No need. I think she’s succeeding,” I said.
I loved that he spoke his mind and didn’t abase himself to me like everyone back in Hemlock Hollow. Even Elí did it. They all either feared me, or wanted me to join their pack so it would be stronger. The relief of being around someone who potentially didn’t want notoriety or power from me made me breathe easier. Vidar himself made me breathe easier. And it didn’t hurt that his lack of fear made him hot as Helheimr.
A long breath eased out of him and every muscle in his body seemed to relax until he nearly slouched in the seat. I couldn’t help but wonder what bothered him so deeply; me killing, or me having to kill. One could change the way he thought of me, and the other could change the way he thought of the world. I didn’t like the idea of either one happening. Or, was it something else entirely?
His expression lightened. “Should I stop, or turn back around to the highway?”
/> “No. I want to talk to Sonya.”
“Onward it is then,” he said with false cheer.
I couldn’t blame him. Going to see Sonya meant seeing a person I might have been forced to kill—and still might. But I had to ask her something that I didn’t want to discuss over the phone. The pull came from a dirt road leading off into a group of aspen trees. “Take a right there,” I directed.
Vidar did as I asked, slowing to maneuver down the rutted road. “You sure about this?” he asked.
“No, but I have to do it.”
“Good enough for me.”
Damn he made it hard to keep him at a distance. Gaze on the side mirror, I concentrated on watching my bike, making sure it didn’t jostle too much in the bed of the truck. The tie-downs we’d put on it held it securely, but I watched anyways. It was easier to watch that instead of the gorgeous man beside me. A mile or so down the road, the trees gave way and revealed a huge two-story barn, red paint flaking away from the dry boards. Just as old were the scents of horses and hay that clung to the place. Everything about it screamed “abandoned”. The rutted road went on past it, leaving the barn in an untouched patch of wild grass and flowers.
“Here,” I said.
He eased the truck to a stop in the grass. Through the open window drifted Sonja and Ty’s faded scent trails. The soft green grass tickled at my bare feet as I stepped out. It seemed wrong to enjoy even such a simple sensation when I might be on my way to kill someone. Sure, the feeling had faded, but I was new at this. Anticipation sang through my veins, carrying me across the distance between me and the barn at a swift pace.
I shouldn’t want to kill again, but I did. The world was a dark place filled with even darker people. If I could stop just one of those people from hurting others, I wanted to do it. No matter what it cost me.
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