Teleport This

by Christopher M. Daniels

  Ellie, Talia and Holt backed out of the conference room and into the corridor. They saw Jon, Simon, Gilbert and Mrs. Wilson ahead of them as they all made their way into the airlock and then to the spaceship.

  “Get us out of here,” Ellie said to Franco. Franco nodded and engaged the maneuvering thrusters.

  At just about the same time as their ship was pulling away, the inner door of the conference room unlocked and Macnair and his boys walked into the common area. Their eyes were fixed on the Nurridium, but not so tightly that they failed to notice movement on their right. They stopped and turned as Alicia’s group emerged from conference room C.

  “Stop where you are,” said Macnair to Alicia.

  “I don’t think so,” replied Alicia, proceeding to the Nurridium. “That’s mine, bought and paid for and I’m taking it with me.”

  “Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?” asked Macnair.

  “A dead man?” replied Alicia.

  “Do you really want to start shooting in here?” said Macnair. “A couple hard shots against the walls and they could breach. Let’s take a few seconds and discuss things.”

  “Not on your life,” said Alicia. “I just transferred payment and when that light on the containment chamber turns green, I’m taking its contents with me.”

  “Those bastards,” said Macnair. “I just made the same deal. We’ve been double-crossed.” Guns were raised, but before the shooting began, the entire conference center began to vibrate, followed by a feeling of acceleration.

  “What’s happening?” asked Alicia as she steadied herself against a railing.

  “I think the conference center has detached itself from the space station and is moving under its own power,” said Hal as he glanced up at the transparent dome of the inner room.

  Hal was indeed correct. The conference center is equipped with its own propulsion and gravity systems and is used to give patrons external tours of the station.

  “That was the high point of the symposium,” said Ellie as she and the others watched from their ship. “Or at least what I can remember of it. There’s a lot of history in that old station and some of it goes back almost a thousand years to that first disabled freighter whose captain decided that it was easier to convert his ship into a repair center than have it towed to the nearest planet for repairs. The rest of the station was built around it. The tour is fairly interesting.”

  “I’m not sure if Macnair will agree,” said Franco.

  “Well, he is getting the short version,” said Ellie. They watched as the conference center turned, increased its velocity and began moving away from the space station, just as they had programmed it to. Once it got outside the 50 mile buffer zone, its engines shut down and it began to drift. It was then that a Fed ship came into view and snagged it with a tractor beam. Once the conference center was close enough, automated conduits emerged from the Fed ship and penetrated the conference center’s external walls. Shortly after that, an air lock was extended.

  “Done and done,” said Talia. “We delivered the bad guys, the kidnapped princess and the Nurridium all in one tidy bundle. Think we’ll get any reward money?”

  24.

  “So Agent Tomas is the big hero?” asked Lyn.

  “Yup. Though we get credit as his helpers,” said Ellie. She had just teleported back to the freighter after accompanying Agent Tomas to the Fed center to explain their involvement in this escapade. They had also made a short stop at Earth and returned Mrs. Wilson.

  “I hope you mean anonymous credit,” said Franco. “I don’t want my name connected with Macnair, he has too many friends out here.”

  “Let me clarify, by credit, I mean a cut,” said Ellie. “He agreed not to use our names, just our bank accounts.”

  “So there was reward money?” asked Talia.

  “Not a lot after dividing it up eight ways, but there was the finder’s fee for the Nurridium, there was a reward out for Macnair as well as the return of the princess. It works out to almost three hundred thousand each.”

  “Nice little bit of change,” said Holt. “Especially after we add it to the money we collected from Alicia and Macnair.”

  “And, Jon,” continued Ellie, “you’re off the hook, free and clear.”

  “Thank you, Ellie. And I am sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused over the years. Was it difficult to persuade Tomas to back off?”

  “Not as hard as you would think,” said Ellie. “I caught him at the best possible moment; he was in-between receiving commendations from his superiors and going to Alicia’s planet where he was being received as a national hero for rescuing their princess.”

  “So you talked with Tomas?” asked Lyn.

  “Sure did,” said Ellie.

  “And how did it go?” continued Lyn. “Are you two getting together at some point after all the fuss dies down?”

  “Remember the pole?” asked Ellie. “The one up his butt?”

  “Sure,” said Lyn. “You were attracted to his pole.”

  “Well, it turns out he’s a big fan of the pole as well,” explained Ellie. “And not just his pole, he likes other poles. And other butts.”

  “Are you saying he’s gay?” asked Lyn.

  “That’s what I’m saying,” said Ellie. “Stop laughing, Talia.”

  “I can’t help it. That’s twice.”

  “Twice?” asked Franco.

  “How do you think you got your job?” replied Talia. “You didn’t know squat about spaceship systems.” Talia began a rather poor, but very funny impersonation of Ellie, “Oh Talia, I just hired the cutest tech guy. Hands off, I’m taking first crack at him.”

  “Live and learn,” said Ellie.

  “For some of us,” said Talia. “You on the other hand insist on taking remedial classes.”

  “That explains those late night tutoring sessions,” said Franco.

  “Yup, but then you put up that calendar and you don’t have to hit me over the head with something for me to understand,” said Ellie.

  “Nope, putting it right in front of your face usually does the trick,” said Talia. “There’s still one thing that I don’t get. Who put the Nurridium in the rock and started all this to begin with?”

  “It seems that Alicia had a boyfriend some years back,” began Ellie. “A commoner that her father disapproved of and the stupid kid didn’t know enough to accept a bribe so the father had him secretly arrested and sent off to the mining camp. He found the Nurridium, contacted Alicia and she hatched the entire plan to steal it from us and cut it down so it could be used to arm a bunch of ships with the biggest guns ever seen. She had a few disgruntled captains on her side as well and she was going to make them all rich admirals or some nonsense like that.”

  “And my showing up in her palace?” asked Jon.

  “Purely coincidental,” said Ellie. Lyn looked at Simon, but he prudently decided to remain quiet. “She was ready to leave, then you dropped into her lap and the idea of a false kidnapping provided a much better cover than her simply disappearing so she tricked you into thinking you were helping her.”

  “And Macnair is now behind bars awaiting trial?” asked Gilbert.

  “Unfortunately not,” said Ellie and a collective gasp went through the room. “I mean unfortunately for him since he’s dead.”

  “What happened?” asked Gilbert.

  “Things got a bit heated inside the conference center when they saw that Fed ship heading their way and felt its grappling arms attaching themselves to the hull. Seems Macnair grabbed Alicia and began yelling and shaking her and we all know she has a short fuse.”

  “You don’t mean…” began Simon.

  “Yup, death by boobs,” finished Ellie.

  “Wow, you dream about it, but when it actually happens, it’s nothing like you imagined it would be,” commented Simon.

  “And Alicia came out of this smelling like a rose?” asked Jon.

  “Of course.” said Ellie. “The official story i
s that she was kidnapped by Macnair, that Jon tried to prevent it and that Tomas planned the rescue at the space station. And naturally, there won’t be any mention of the Nurridium. Now let’s move on to another subject, something interesting. Who’s going to take their reward money and retire? Holt?”

  “Not me,” said Holt. “I’m sending some of my share back home. Got to take care of the folks and the rest of the family.”

  “You’re kidding, right?” asked Talia.

  “Nope. That’s how I was brought up, to share the wealth. I’m not going to share all of it, I’m not that stupid, but maybe half. I’ll let the rest gain interest for a few years.”

  “Never thought I’d be glad I was an orphan,” muttered Talia.

  “And just what are your big plans, Talia?” asked Holt.

  “I’m not sure just yet, but I’ll probably change professions to something less risky. Now that I’ve become rich, I suddenly have an urge to live long enough to spend at least some of the cash. I think I’m going to need a long vacation to sort it all out. Hey, Franco, you up for the challenge?”

  “I think some extended R&R is just what the doctor ordered,” replied Franco.

  “So, Ellie,” continued Talia, “what’s your plan? Are you going to stay married to this ship and keep hauling freight till you meet Mr. Right?”

  “I’ve decided that the life of a spaceship captain no longer suits me,” began Ellie. “As for Mr. Right, I think it’s best if I sit still for a bit and let him find me. He just better have a good excuse for being so late. Anyway, I’ve already sold the ship.”

  “What!” said Talia. “To who?”

  Ellie smiled and looked to her left.

  “That would be me,” said Gilbert.

  “No way, dude. You bought a spaceship?” said Simon.

  “Two actually,” replied Gilbert. “The smaller one’s included. You guys want in? It seems I’m hiring in technical and tactical areas.”

  “What do you say?” Simon asked Lyn. “Feel like seeing what the universe has to offer?”

  “Why the hell not,” said Lyn. “We’re rich out here. We can live it up a bit.”

  “Hey, Holt, are you staying on?” asked Gilbert.

  “You bet.”

  “And, Jon, what about you?” asked Gilbert. “You’re a free man now. Care to help three know-nothings learn what’s what in the universe?”

  “Yeah, Jon, it’ll be fun,” said Simon.

  “What, bang about with you lot? I don’t know. I do have my standards.”

  “Where else are you going to go?” said Simon. “Agent Tomas turned off our free credit cards and took away our access to the ICC. You might as well stick around until something interesting comes up.”

  “It will give you time to work out all those issues you’ve got rumbling around in your head,” said Lyn.

  “You’re trying to work out your issues?” asked Ellie. “Mom will be so happy.”

  “Alright then, I’m in,” said Jon. “Where to first?”

  “Verigon 3 so we can deliver this ore,” said Gilbert and a howl of protest went up from his ex-crewmates. “Need I remind you that this is a working ship? Anyway, it’s just a slight detour to the left for a day or so. It will give all you newly converted free spirits time to figure out exactly where you’d like to be dropped off. Plus we can get some training before you abandon us.”

  “Hey, Jon,” piped in Ellie2. “Ready to start the show?”

  “Let it rip.”

  A video projection appeared above the table with Jon shouting ‘We are the Borg, resistance is futile!’ and then it cut to a screaming Gilbert, followed by another screaming Gilbert and after that came another screaming Gilbert. There were a smattering of smiling Gilbert’s thrown in to add contrast and, of course, Gilbert and Talia doing the bump, as well as Simon in a miniskirt and various cameos from the rest of the crew. All in all, it ran for about five minutes and it turned out Jon was right, Gilbert thought it was a riot. Jon smiled to himself, not a bad bit of work for a fishing rod.

  Author’s Note

  I hoped you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. It had been kicking around the inside of my head for quite some time and it finally worked its way out. The next two books in the series, Soul to Soul and Geppetto’s Daughter, are now available and in them Jon, Simon and Lyn continue to trip and stumble across the universe in search of the ultimate margarita and a possible date for their friend Gilbert.

  Thanks for reading,

  Chris Daniels