The Christmas Stocking and Other Stories
Page 4
The next item – which was nearly the last, Romy realised rather sadly; she’d been enjoying her stocking so much – was a bar of dark chocolate.
‘Left over from a recipe, I’m afraid. It’s probably too dark to just eat.’ Felix was apologetic again.
‘We can make brownies, or something nice with it, if it is too strong. Very good dipped in hot milk, I find.’
‘We may not have spare milk for drinking just as is.’
‘Brownies then.’
‘Do you bake?’ He seemed surprised and possibly pleased.
‘A bit.’ She considered for a few moments. ‘If we want more breakfast later, I could make pancakes.’
His eyes widened in delight. ‘We have real maple syrup! Amazing!’
Romy smiled and put her hand into the sock and pulled out an onion. ‘Just what I always wanted!’
‘I knew that!’ said Felix.
The final present was wrapped up. As it was small and Felix had used wide parcel tape to secure the paper, it took a bit of time before she released it. It was a little pin with a stud at the back in the shape of a bat. ‘I love it!’ she said. ‘I absolutely love it!’ She looked at it again and then said, ‘How did you know? I mean – I love bats,’ she added quietly.
‘I know you do,’ he said, also quiet. ‘I bought it a while ago because it was raising money for bats and I kept it—’ He stopped. ‘Just in case—’
‘In case of what?’ She knew she shouldn’t push him but she couldn’t stop herself.
He shrugged. ‘In case Lauren ever got into bats, I suppose. Or cheap jewellery.’
Romy laughed; she knew she was supposed to. ‘I should get up. But thank you so much for my stocking. It’s one of the nicest ones I’ve ever had!’
‘Surely not! It was only a few things I got together at the last minute.’
‘It was spontaneous. I love that.’ Gus, she realised now, wasn’t great at the spontaneous gestures. Then she chided herself for having ungenerous thoughts.
‘If you want a shower, I’ll get you a better towel. I was a bit embarrassed with the one you used yesterday,’ said Felix, suddenly in host mode.
He left to find a towel but also, she realised, to give her a bit of privacy.
They met at the door of the shower room. She was clutching her clothes to her and he was holding a towel and some bath products.
‘Here,’ he said, handing her the towel. ‘I’ve found some of Lauren’s shower gel. I’m afraid mine’s only supermarket stuff.’
‘Supermarket stuff is fine,’ she said, managing to take the bottle in spite of her armful of clothes and towel. She’d managed with a bar of very old soap the day before.
‘Really? I’m sure Lauren wouldn’t mind you using hers.’
‘Honestly.’ Romy had used Lauren’s face cream and it had felt uncomfortable all night, not smelling familiar. Besides, she’d wronged this woman in her imagination quite enough: stealing her expensive beauty products would compound the wrongness.
‘Right!’ Felix said. ‘I think we should go and see what the weather is like, gather a few bits of wood for the fire and then have pancakes?’
‘Yes, and then I must do some texting to tell people I’m OK and explain that I haven’t got the internet.’
‘I’ve done my texting already. I think my friends were glad I wasn’t coming. They were short of chairs.’ He fixed her bat pin to her coat carefully. She could feel his breath against her face and the warmth of his hands where he brushed against her neck. She could also smell him. He smelt a bit better than she did. He’d obviously added a splash of cologne to the supermarket shower gel.
‘Thank you so much! I really love it. Now, come on,’ she said, the moment the pin was in place. ‘Let’s go out!’
Really she would have much rather they had stayed where they were, close to each other, breathing the same oxygen, but she knew they mustn’t. She wanted him and she was fairly sure he wanted her, but they couldn’t act on their feelings. And yet she knew this would always be a special, secret Christmas she would hold in her heart forever.
Although the road was still very icy, in the woods, where the frost had fallen on beech leaves, the going was crisp.
‘If you’re up for it, we can walk right up to the boundary?’
‘So you’ve got lots of land?’
‘Yes, but it’s very steep. Only good to grow trees, really; we have mostly beech. They’re lovely trees but shallow rooted. With the gales we’ve had recently, there are likely to be some down.’ He shrugged nonchalantly. ‘I don’t mind. It saves me having to thin the trees and beech is great firewood.’
‘Let’s get gathering then!’
After a while, Felix said, ‘Hmm, you know, actually it’s quite far to the boundary. Shall we have pancakes and maple syrup first, and then make the trek?’
They went back to the house with some smaller branches, which they dumped outside, and then went into the living room, which was warm and very welcoming. As Felix went to replenish the fire, Romy plonked herself down on the sofa, accepting the time had come to get in touch with people. First she sent a text to her parents, and then a more carefully worded one to Gus. ‘Hi honey, hope Christmas going well. Fine here except there’s no internet! You have to climb a tree or something so I won’t be doing that. Have a lovely time! Romy. Xxx’.
She didn’t put lots of ‘love you’s because Gus didn’t like too much of that sort of thing and at the moment it wouldn’t feel right. The kisses would do.
Texting done, she looked around the kitchen-cum-living room. Romy had lit the lights in her balloon decorations before they left and they looked lovely.
‘This is so Christmassy!’ she said. ‘Lauren is going to love it when she gets here!’ She felt the need to mention her name, to remind them both that she existed.
‘I hope so. It certainly looks festive. A bit like a magazine.’ He glanced at Romy. ‘And I mean that in the very best way.’
‘Good! Now show me the frying pan!’
They were full and thoroughly sticky when Felix said, ‘Shall we have a drink? It is Christmas!’
‘Actually,’ said Romy. ‘Don’t let me stop you, but honestly? Unless we’re going to spend the rest of the day watching TV I’d rather make the hike to the top of the hill? We were on a mission.’ The moment she’d spoken, she worried that she’d sounded puritanical and boring.
‘I never say no when people are prepared to go wooding, and after the amount of pancakes I just ate, I definitely need exercise.’ He gave her a quick sideways hug and then let go of her again equally quickly. ‘You’re a great cook, you know that?’
‘I’m OK at what I can do,’ she said, trying to hide her pleasure. ‘Now, let’s go for that really big tree at the top of the hill.’
She was panting and very warm as they approached the boundary fence, high up by the road.
‘This is why it’s so quiet in my house,’ Felix said. ‘It’s because we’re below the road.’
‘I thought it must be miles away from anywhere last night. It was so silent.’
‘Come on. Last little bit to climb.’
When they got to the top there were three fallen trees. Huge giants lying prone, with vast flat roots like plates attached to the bottom of them.
‘Unfortunately they look far too big for us to get down to the house, unless we go back and get the chainsaw? Well, thank goodness none of them fell on the road! I’m not sure but I think I’d have had to pay to clear them, if they had. And supposing they’d fallen on a car! It doesn’t bear thinking of.’
‘Well, it hasn’t happened, thank goodness,’ said Romy, understanding how he felt. ‘Hey – I hope none of them were the one you climbed to get the internet!’ she went on.
‘No! I’m not a monkey. I couldn’t climb one of those.’
‘So which is the tree you climb, then?’
‘I’ll show you.’
There was a small tree that had obviously been pollarded at o
ne time. It was quite easy to climb but then, scarily, Felix wriggled his way along a branch so he was above a steep gully. ‘Look! No hands!’ he said, waving.
‘Agh! Don’t! Hold on! You’re making my stomach feel peculiar.’
‘It’s perfectly safe, I promise you.’
Just then, his mobile started to ring and he reached into his pocket to get it. ‘Hello?’ he said, and then dropped the phone.
‘Oh no!’ said Romy.
‘Find it! Quick! Before it gets lost in the leaves.’
She bounded into the gulley and scrabbled about, eventually finding the handset. ‘Got it!’ she called. ‘Now come down!’
He lost his balance and fell off the branch.
‘Noo!’ wailed Romy. ‘Are you OK?’
‘What the hell is going on?’ demanded the person on the phone. It was Lauren.
Realising that she couldn’t pretend she wasn’t there, Romy began to bluff. ‘Hello?’ she said into the phone. ‘I’m just a passer-by. The man has fallen out of a tree and dropped his phone.’ At least that was all true.
‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ said Lauren. Her tone made Romy think of Katharine Hepburn – a woman who took no nonsense. ‘Felix lives in the middle of a forest! There are no passers-by.’
‘Um, in England we often go for walks at Christmas.’ This was true too, but it sounded pathetic.
‘No one knows that place is there! Let me speak to Felix.’
Felix, who seemed completely unhurt, was laughing hysterically. He seemed to think it hilarious that his girlfriend had called from America and was now talking to Romy, who shouldn’t even be there. He was shaking his head and waving his hands, indicating he couldn’t speak to Lauren in his hysterical state.
‘He has just fallen out of a tree. He can’t come to the phone right now.’
‘For God’s sake!’ snapped Lauren. ‘You mean he thinks this is funny! Well, give him a message for me. Tell him his Christmas stocking is in the airing cupboard, under the pile of laundry waiting to be ironed. I knew he wouldn’t find it there!’
‘I’ll tell him,’ said Romy meekly.
‘You know? I did feel a bit bad about this whole thing. But not now!’ She disconnected.
Felix came up to her. ‘Are you OK? You look a bit shocked.’
‘You’re the one who should be shocked – you fell out of a tree.’
‘But I didn’t get an earful from Lauren. I expect she thought I was being childish?’
‘She did, and she didn’t believe me when I said I was a passer-by.’
Felix bit his lip.
‘And she said that your Christmas stocking is in the airing cupboard, under the linen that’s waiting to be ironed. She said you’d never find it there.’
‘I did find it, actually,’ he said. ‘But I didn’t look at it. It wasn’t Christmas then.’ He bit his lip again but this time he seemed chastened.
‘Shall we take what wood we can and then you can find your stocking and open it?’ suggested Romy.
‘Good idea,’ Felix said, visibly pulling himself together. ‘Come on. Let’s each get a big old log, and then I’ll race you back.’
‘That’s not fair! I don’t know my way!’
‘Eat my dust!’ he called, setting off with almost an entire tree.
Romy was more circumspect and took a smaller branch. She soon caught him up.
They laughed as they jogged through the trees, sometimes stopping to gather more wood, and sometimes falling over in the fallen leaves.
But although she was cheerful on the outside, inside, the day had been a little spoilt for Romy. Lauren’s call had burst their bubble. She should be here, not Romy.
They dumped the wood where the sawhorse and the axe were. ‘Come on then,’ said Felix. ‘Let’s get my stocking!’
‘Don’t you want to open it in private?’ said Romy, who had followed him in but was taking the time to get her dirty boots off.
‘Nah, it might be a bit sad on my own.’
He waited until she was ready and then headed up the stairs.
‘OK,’ he said, stopping outside a cupboard that was unpainted and obviously new. ‘Let’s get it.’
His top half disappeared into the cupboard and he came out holding a bright red stocking made of felt, which was embroidered and covered with jewels and sequins. It was obviously quite heavy, too. It looked terribly expensive. She imagined it being full of carefully chosen presents. She wondered if he’d get as much pleasure from his elaborate stocking as she’d had from her makeshift one. Hand-made always won in her book. She felt a wave of guilt for being the one to open it with him.
They went back downstairs and Felix made up the wood burner while Romy made tea for them both. ‘Do you want anything to eat?’ she called from the kitchen area.
‘No! I want you to come and help me with my stocking.’
She had wanted to put it off for some reason, but came and sat down. Felix took out a bottle-shaped present, and set it aside for now. ‘I think I can guess what this is. Let’s see what else is here?’
He tipped out the contents on to the sofa. There were half a dozen little packages wrapped in gold tissue paper. He picked up the first one and unwrapped it. It was a little antique brooch.
‘Jewellery for a man? Unusual,’ said Romy, sensing something was wrong.
Felix didn’t answer. He opened another package and revealed a friendship bracelet, the sort of thing you might buy at a festival. ‘We went to Glastonbury this year,’ was all he said.
One by one the parcels were opened and each one had a piece of jewellery in it.
‘OK,’ he said. ‘That’s all the jewellery I ever gave her. Let’s have a look at the bottle.’
He pulled the paper off the bottle. It was Jack Daniel’s and it had ‘Felix’ written in a Sharpie pen across it. There was a note attached by a rubber band. He opened it, read it quickly, and handed it to her. ‘You read it.’
‘Really?’
He nodded.
Dear Felix,
I think we both know we’ve reached the end of the road. I don’t want to live in your house in the woods. I need open spaces and sea and Connecticut gives me that.
I hope this doesn’t seem harsh or cowardly, but I couldn’t risk being talked around. I hope you’ll see I’ve done the right thing. The bottle of Jack is to help you with that.
Goodbye. It was fun for a while.
Lauren’s handwriting was beautiful and her signature looked as though she’d practised it. Romy stared at the note as the silence stretched.
‘Well, that’s me dumped,’ Felix said eventually.
Romy didn’t know how to respond. She couldn’t tell from Felix’s expression whether he’d like to call Lauren every name under the sun, or beg her to change her mind and come back to him. It didn’t seem like the latter to her, but she couldn’t be sure.
She looked at him, trying to work out how upset he was. He looked back, his expression thoughtful, tender. Then he gave a quick, bright smile. ‘Come on. Let’s get some more wood in before the light goes completely.’
Felix obviously enjoyed the distraction of dragging huge logs through the woods, and Romy did too. She was at a slight loss to work out if his high spirits were put on for her benefit or if he was really pretty relaxed about being dumped in a truly heartless way.
How would she feel if Gus broke up with her? she asked herself. She realised she’d feel relieved. She knew she was going to have to have the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ conversation when they next met. She just hoped he wouldn’t be hurt.
‘Right!’ said Felix, slightly out of breath. ‘It’s nearly dark and I’m bushed. How about we put some food out for the deer, then go back in and open the Jack Daniel’s?’
‘Sounds like a plan. What can we have to eat? I’m starving!’ She laughed. ‘Not something I’ve ever said on Christmas Day before.’
He pulled her to his side in a quick hug. ‘It’s been a funny one,’ he said. ‘But
I’ve loved it.’
She didn’t mention the Christmas stocking. Was he happy in spite of it? Or because of it? ‘I have too! The best Christmas ever. Well, since I’ve been grown up, anyway.’
‘Me too! And don’t worry, I won’t let you starve, either. We’ve got plenty of food. I’ve got a wild boar salami I was giving my friends for a present. We’ll start on that.’
Romy hadn’t set her heart on seeing any deer. Her delight was in standing in the dark, the room lit only by her little battery lights, sipping sweet American whiskey, side by side with Felix.
He put his arm round her and hugged her to him, whether for comfort or just because, she couldn’t tell. She wasn’t going to question it.
And then the deer appeared. They saw them first when the light caught their eyes. And then they came closer, half a dozen of them, snuffling the earth and finding the food.
Romy and Felix didn’t speak. They just stood there in the dark, in silence, watching the deer.
Romy added it to her mental store of delightful memories of this Christmas. Apart from the loveliness of being with Felix (and it was very difficult to set this aside!) it was so unusual. There were no presents, hardly, if you overlooked the lovely stocking she’d been given, and the toxic one that Felix had received. The food wasn’t Christmas food but, although she liked turkey and roast potatoes, she had really enjoyed making meals with Felix.
And there’d been a lot of exercise. She’d loved dragging wood down to Felix’s wood store where later he would turn it into logs.
She knew real life would be back – probably tomorrow – but she would always treasure this stolen, special Christmas Day.
Romy was awoken the following morning by the ping telling her she had a text message. Maybe Gus had finally got around to replying to her Christmas message. She found her phone.
No, not Gus. It was the budget airline. The country was no longer stalled by black ice, and if she wanted to rebook her flight, she could go to France the following day. She didn’t want to and was pleased that she could get her flight money back. She wasn’t going to fly to France just to finish with Gus. He could wait a few days!