The Hen Party

by Cathy Bramley

  ‘What makes it so special down there?’ he said with a sneer. ‘Good restaurants, quaint little shops, plenty of nightlife?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ I said airily, crossing my fingers. ‘All that. And there is no other holiday accommodation here. Very exclusive. Our three cottages will be booked up in a flash.’

  Sebastian loved being first. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist.

  ‘Send me the link to the website,’ he said, feigning disinterest. ‘It’s not my bag, but it always pays to keep ahead of the pack.’

  ‘Of course,’ I said sweetly. ‘And if you do get any interest from anyone, I’m sure we can sort out some commission …’

  By five o’clock, I’d given an interview to the editor at Horizons, and sent him some photographs, and Theo, with a sleeping kitten on his lap, had put the finishing touches to the visitors’ welcome folders complete with a map of the best beaches, a copy of the local tide tables and a list of places to eat in a five-mile radius.

  ‘Fancy a walk to The Sea Urchin?’ I stood up and stretched my spine. ‘All this office work has made me thirsty.’

  ‘I’ve got a better idea.’ Theo carefully put Mittens in his basket and fetched a bottle of champagne from the pantry. ‘This has been here for ages. I haven’t had anything to celebrate. But now I think I do. We can have it outside.’

  I approved wholeheartedly of both the champagne and his celebratory mood and while he ran the bottle under the cold tap to chill it a bit, I went out to water the geraniums I’d planted last week. I found a watering can and filled it from the outside tap and when I turned round, there was a woman in the courtyard holding a bicycle, staring at me.

  ‘Arrghh,’ I said, sloshing water on my feet. ‘You startled me.’

  ‘Sorry about that.’ She leaned the bike against the wall and pulled off her cycle helmet. A shimmering curtain of stunning red hair fell to her shoulders. She was a bit older than me at a guess and she had long athletic legs and a slim boyish figure, both accentuated by tight-fitting sportswear.

  ‘I’m Nina.’ I put the watering can down and walked across to her, my hand outstretched.

  ‘Yes, I know.’ She ignored my hand. ‘You were at Kate and Theo’s wedding. Also you were in the newspaper at the weekend.’

  ‘I was,’ I confirmed, racking my brains to remember who she was. I drew a blank. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t recall meeting you at the wedding.’

  ‘I didn’t know them then.’ She lifted a cake tin from the basket at the front of her bike and took her handbag out of the child seat at the back. ‘But I’ve heard about you from Kate.’

  I was guessing from her pinched expression that what she’d heard hadn’t been entirely good.

  ‘Champagne!’ Theo cried, appearing from the front door carrying two glasses and a bottle. ‘For my favourite actress! Without whom—’ He caught sight of our visitor mid-sentence, turned bright red and began to splutter. ‘Molly! What are you doing here?’

  The name rang a bell; this must be the friend of Kate’s who Eliza had mentioned. So if Kate didn’t already know I was here, she probably would soon …

  ‘Interrupting a celebration, by the look of it,’ Molly replied. In contrast to Theo’s flaming cheeks, she had gone as white as a ghost. ‘I heard from Eliza that you hadn’t been well, so I brought you a cake, but I can see that I needn’t have worried. I’ll be off.’

  She rammed her helmet back on.

  Theo hurried over to her. ‘Wait! Please, join us for a drink in the garden.’

  After a bit of juggling he managed to force a glass of bubbly on her and ushered us towards the gate to the garden at the back of the house.

  ‘Sorry about this,’ he murmured, catching my arm. ‘Her husband left her for someone else last year at her thirtieth birthday party and she’s a bit prickly.’

  ‘Don’t worry, we’ll soon sort out any misunderstandings over a drink,’ I replied and sent him inside for an extra glass.

  I went through the gate and couldn’t believe my eyes. I hadn’t ventured into the garden since I’d witnessed Bruce and Penelope rolling around on the grass creating their Crescendo of Passion canvas. But in the last few days, Theo had clearly been very busy.

  There was a new fire pit surrounded by wooden seating made from old pallets, and a long wooden table. Molly and I both took a seat at it.

  She regarded me suspiciously.

  ‘It was kind of you to come and check on him,’ I said. ‘And bring cake. I’m glad he has friends looking out for him. Other friends, I mean, besides me. Because that’s all I am. A friend.’

  ‘Men. They’re all the same.’ She tightened her grip on the cake tin and turned her face away.

  Luckily, Theo reappeared just then with a third champagne flute.

  ‘You approve?’ he said, nodding at the new garden additions.

  ‘Massively,’ I said. ‘You must have spent a fortune!’

  He shook his head smugly. ‘Free to a good home from a hotel that was closing. Just paid for delivery.’

  ‘So.’ I smiled brightly. ‘Are you going to introduce us properly?’

  Theo ran a hand through his curls. ‘Yes. Sorry. Nina, this is Molly, a friend of ours.’

  ‘Of Kate’s,’ Molly corrected. ‘Whereas Nina is obviously a friend of yours.’

  ‘Theo and I have known each other for years,’ I said lightly. ‘My brother Archie was Theo’s best man.’

  ‘Yes.’ Molly’s nostrils flared. ‘Kate told me. So what are you celebrating?’

  ‘Brightside Holidays,’ said Theo, chinking his glass against hers. ‘Nina’s been helping me get it off the ground.’

  Molly slurped at the bubbles but didn’t raise her glass. ‘So Kate knows she’s here?’

  ‘Ah, well …’ Theo began.

  ‘Typical.’ She thumped her glass down. ‘As if Kate hasn’t been through enough, as soon as her back’s turned—’

  ‘There’s absolutely nothing going on between Theo and me. This is a surprise for her,’ I said, jumping in quickly. ‘Kate has given Theo an ultimatum to have the cottage business up and running by the time she gets back and I’ve offered to help. And let’s not forget,’ I said quietly, ‘that Theo has been through just as much as Kate.’

  ‘I know that.’ She huffed indignantly. ‘But I would have helped, Theo. Kate asked if I’d keep an eye on you, so I came round every day for a week offering to help. But you wouldn’t let me in.’

  ‘She really asked you to do that?’ he said.

  ‘Really.’ Molly tucked her hair behind her ears.

  ‘Sorry,’ Theo mumbled. ‘I went to pieces for a while. I only let Archie in because … I had no choice.’

  He met my eye and I remembered that awful day with the bailiffs and the surprise arrival of the Bird family and the state of Driftwood Lodge. The coffers still weren’t exactly overflowing, but the recent bookings, plus the sale of his car to Archie were currently keeping the wolf from the door. And I had every confidence that he’d stay on top of his finances from now on.

  ‘Whatever.’ She knocked back the rest of her champagne and stood up. ‘You’ve got an actress to help you so obviously my professional services aren’t required.’

  I willed Theo to say something to smooth her feathers.

  ‘Okay. Cheerio.’ He tipped up his glass and swallowed. ‘And thanks for the cake.’

  Give me strength.

  ‘Molly, please don’t rush off.’ I touched her arm. ‘It seems to me that we all want the same thing. To give Theo and Kate the happy ending they deserve. I’m going to be here for another few weeks and I’d like us to be friends. Plus, there’s still some fizz left in the bottle.’

  She bit her lip. ‘It’s tempting.’

  I felt a twinge of hope until I realized she was contemplating another drink rather than being my friend.

  Then she lifted her bag on to her shoulder. ‘But I’ve got to pick my son up from my neighbour’s soon.’

  ‘How is little …?’ sa
id Theo, topping up everyone’s glasses regardless.

  ‘Ellis,’ said Molly with a flicker of amusement. ‘His name is Ellis and he’s fine. Thanks for the offer of another drink, but I’d better not or I’ll fall off my bike.’

  ‘Okay, another time?’ I began to walk her back to the courtyard.

  ‘Sure. Listen, I email Kate regularly,’ she hesitated. ‘I’m guessing you don’t want me to mention to her that you’re here?’

  ‘It’s up to you,’ I said. ‘She’s your friend. If you think that she needs to know, when she’s seven thousand miles away, unable to do anything but worry about it, tell her. But please believe me, my only reason for being here is to get Kate and Theo’s marriage back on track.’

  She thought about it for a moment and, with a curt nod, handed me the cake tin and put her helmet back on. ‘I believe you.’

  I was so relieved I pulled her into a hug just as a car roared up the drive and curved into a skid sending a shower of gravel towards our legs.

  ‘What on earth …?’ Molly gasped.

  It was Archie in Theo’s old Triumph, which was unrecognizable. The red paintwork was glossy, the chrome gleamed and the engine sounded rich and throaty. Archie grinned at us through the driver’s side window and revved the engine. And then the passenger door flew open and Eliza jumped out.

  Molly went over to greet her. She must have been a few years older than Eliza, but it seemed they knew each other well.

  Archie got out, jingling his keys proudly. ‘What do you think of my new hobby?’

  ‘That depends whether it’s helped lower your blood pressure.’ I prodded his chest.

  ‘Ah, doctors,’ said Archie, waving a hand. ‘What do they know?’

  Theo slapped him on the back. ‘Can I have my car back please? I’ll return all your money.’

  ‘Ha, not likely. It’s worth a fortune now. Look at this.’

  In an instant Archie had the bonnet up and the two men stuck their heads under it.

  ‘So how did you end up in my brother’s car?’ I asked, joining Eliza and Molly who were whispering. Probably about me.

  ‘Hey, Nina,’ Eliza said in a high voice, her plump cheeks turning as pink as her hair.

  Definitely talking about me.

  ‘He saw me struggling with my bag at the bottom of the drive and gave me a lift,’ she said, fanning her face. ‘And you’ve met Molly, that’s nice, now we can all be friends.’

  I looked at Molly, who also looked flushed.

  ‘Eliza’s just told me how you gave up your job and rushed back from London to look out for Theo,’ she muttered. ‘I’m sorry I doubted your motives. They’ve been through so much as a couple and I really want them to have the happy-ever-after I didn’t get with my marriage. I’m afraid recent events have left me a bit suspicious of men and attractive single women.’

  ‘Mine and Theo’s relationship is completely above board, I promise,’ I said with a grin. ‘Friends?’

  ‘Sure.’ She smiled. ‘I’ve never met a celebrity. I feel a bit star struck.’

  I laughed. ‘You hid it very well.’

  ‘Yay, now we can all be mermaids together,’ cried Eliza. ‘The tails have arrived from America just in time! Let’s go and try them on!’

  Molly and I pulled faces at each other as she scooted round to Archie’s boot and pulled out a big nylon zipper bag.

  ‘More drinks, everyone?’ Theo held up the bottle.

  ‘Not for me,’ said Archie. ‘I’d rather have a cup of tea.’

  ‘Me too,’ said Molly, whipping off her helmet. Archie looked at her properly for the first time and obviously liked what he saw.

  ‘Molly meet Archie, my brother. Archie, this is Molly, a friend of Kate’s.’

  ‘Wow,’ said Archie. ‘I mean hello. Pleased to meet you.’

  ‘Hey,’ she said, coolly holding out her hand for him to shake.

  ‘Sorry, I’m a bit sweaty,’ he said with a grin.

  ‘You are,’ agreed Molly, wiping her hands on her leggings – a gesture that also wiped the smile off his face.

  ‘Molly has a little boy,’ I added. ‘Called Ellis.’

  ‘He’d like your car. He’s only four but he’s car mad,’ said Molly. ‘Unfortunately I can’t drive, and since my husband left me for Tess the Tart, he’s reduced to riding on the back of my bike.’

  ‘I am rather proud of the Triumph,’ Archie said. ‘Spent a fortune on it to get it running again. Treated myself to a deluxe mohair hood. Top of the range.’

  ‘Sounds like a waste of money to me,’ said Molly, doubtfully.

  Archie swallowed. ‘Well, I—’

  ‘Who wants cake?’ I said, whipping the lid off the cake tin. ‘Molly made it.’

  ‘Yes please,’ said Archie, patting his flat stomach. ‘What sort is it?’

  I had never seen my brother eat cake in his life. He was a savoury snacker through and through.

  ‘Oh, nothing special,’ she shrugged, ‘just a banana loaf.’

  ‘My favourite,’ said Archie goofily, gazing at her.

  He hated bananas.

  ‘Then it’s your lucky day,’ she said drily, pulling her phone from her pocket.

  I went in to fetch a knife and some plates while Molly phoned her neighbour to check on Ellis. This afternoon was turning into quite a party.

  Chapter 5

  Before I got as far as the kitchen the phone in the hall rang.

  ‘Brightside Holidays, how may I help?’ I said.

  ‘Maxine here,’ said my mentor bluntly. ‘How’s the friend in need?’

  ‘Apart from being allergic to his own cat, he’s fine, thankfully,’ I said, explaining about the series of unfortunate events that had led Eliza to suspect Theo was suicidal. ‘Bit of a wasted journey, really.’

  ‘On the contrary,’ she argued. ‘Now your friend knows he can count on your support when he does need it; we all want someone who’ll drop everything for us. Bravo.’

  ‘That’s a lovely way to put it, thank you,’ I said, with a rush of warmth for the usually no-nonsense Maxine.

  ‘So now what?’ she said.

  ‘Technically, I could come back to London,’ I said. My mood dropped a notch at the thought.

  ‘No need. The writers are raving about the “long coma” storyline you and I concocted. Ron and Marjorie will soon be conducting a clandestine affair right under Nurse Elsie’s nose. The cast is thrilled. It’s going to be very uncomfortable viewing.’

  She said this last bit with relish and I couldn’t help smiling.

  ‘I’m so glad the show hasn’t suffered too badly after I leaked my own death,’ I said. ‘What a relief.’

  ‘Told you,’ she said blithely. ‘And the PR team thinks the new thread is strong enough to make the cover of Sensational Soaps magazine. So all in all you’ve probably done us a favour.’

  ‘In that case, I’d like to stay here and get Theo’s business properly established.’ I paused. ‘But two months away from London is a long time, do you think my career will suffer?’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she scoffed. ‘You’re still on screen in Victory Road and even after the episode in which you’re injured airs, you’ll still appear comatose under the bed sheets.’

  She was right but it wasn’t quite what I meant. I didn’t have an agent any more, and I was worried if I wasn’t seen out and about that people in the business would forget about me.

  ‘But London’s where it’s at,’ I said. ‘I should be seen, I should network. Build my profile.’

  Maxine clicked her tongue. ‘I think you’ve done enough of that for the time being.’

  I sighed. ‘You’re right. All I really want to do is be a better actress. But I can’t even work on that if I’m down here.’

  ‘Not true. Laurence Olivier once said that an actor should be able to create the universe in the palm of his hand. And to do that, dear heart, you need to experience the universe, the world, life. Use your time away from London wisely: fea
st on life, observe, interact, soak up the emotions of others, get high on new experiences. It will add new depths to your craft. Something you’ll never get from flirting with the gossip columns. Whatever that agent of yours says.’

  ‘Ex-agent,’ I said. ‘And yes, I’ll do just that, I promise.’

  Just then Eliza dragged her huge bag into the hall and pulled out a long strip of iridescent fabric in shimmering tones of blue and another of orange and pink.

  ‘Sorry to interrupt,’ she said, ‘but do you want to be Peacock Mermaid or Tropical Mermaid? I’ve already bagged Bahama Blush Mermaid.’

  ‘What was that?’ Maxine demanded. ‘Did someone just say mermaid?’

  ‘Got to go, Maxine,’ I said with a giggle. ‘Looks like I’m going to be very busy experiencing life.’

  Ten minutes later, Molly, Eliza and I had been transformed.

  ‘Oh my word,’ I laughed, adjusting my realistic-looking scallop-shell bra. ‘I like it. I really am a mermaid.’

  The full-length mirror confirmed it. From the waist down I was encased in a tight spandex tail which changed through a spectrum of blues as I moved. Eliza added the final touch: a stiff piece of plastic which she stuffed into the fin-shaped bottom section. She pulled me up to standing and turned me round on the spot.

  ‘Amazing. And this is just on dry land,’ she beamed. ‘Wait till you get into the water.’

  ‘That water, out there?’ I pointed through my bedroom window to the sea. Even from this distance I could see the frills of white, indicating how rough the waves were.

  ‘It’s the most incredible experience,’ she confirmed. ‘And free, that’s what I love about it: the freedom. Kicking powerfully through the water so fast it feels like you’re flying. You feel magical.’

  ‘And totally freezing, I should imagine,’ Molly put in.

  ‘Pah,’ Eliza said, as if hypothermia was beneath the concerns of a mythical sea-creature, and tugged at her own tail, which was straining a bit over her generous curves.