“It’s good being home.”
She turns to walk over to the stove and she removes something from the oven.
I take the seat at the table across from Pops. “Couldn’t sleep last night?” he asks.
“How did you know?”
“I heard Bluebelle nickerin’. She must’ve been glad to see ya. Figured you were takin’ her for a ride.”
I don’t think anything gets past him. “Bluebelle? You named a horse after Momma?”
“Nope, Belle named her. I named Colonel. He’s a feisty stallion. Be careful ridin’ that one. He’s been known to buck your brother a few times.”
“Bluebelle’s a sweet girl,” I admit.
“She is,” Momma says as she lays a plate of sausage gravy and biscuits in front of me. “She’s sweeter than honey on a biscuit.”
“Thank you,” I say, readjusting my plate of food.
After breakfast, Pops and I go outside and cut some more firewood. “Have you decided what you’re gonna take to Savannah Mae’s?”
“No idea.”
“Serenadin’ her didn’t appeal to you?”
I look at Pops and he’s grinning. Even he knows that’s old fashioned. “No, it didn’t.”
“I hate to be the one to break this to ya, but you’re runnin’ out of time.”
“I know.” I have an idea, but I can’t mention it to Pops. “Maybe Mia will know of something.”
“I’m sure she’ll have some ideas for you.”
After the firewood is cut and stacked, Pops goes into the house to shower. I walk into the barn to check on Colonel and Bluebelle. He’s neighing loudly and appears to be agitated. I walk over with an apple in an attempt to make nice. He takes the apple from me and raises his head high in an effort to dismiss me.
Bluebelle walks over to me and nudges me with her nose. “Hey, girl, you miss me?” I feed her an apple and she eats from my hand. I pet her and she lets me. “You sure are a sweet girl.” I feed her and Colonel another apple before leaving.
After a shower, I get ready for Christmas dinner. I offer to help Momma with dinner, but she shoos me out of the kitchen. I hear her fussing over the pies and Pops chuckles. He stands and walks into the kitchen.
“I wouldn’t aggravate her.”
Pops replies, “There’s nothin’ sexier than an aggravated Nelly. I wanna watch her fuss over her pies.”
Nothing he just said made any sense. Since when is an aggravated woman sexy? I stay in the living room. Mia and Levi show up and place their gifts under the Christmas tree. Momma has Christmas music playing from the old stereo standing in the corner. I hug them both before Mia rushes off into the kitchen to help Momma.
After dinner, we gather around the tree for our gift exchange. Pops hands out gifts, as Momma sits on the couch taking pictures. Mia and Levi get a family gift of bath towels, and an outfit each. Mia is excited and stands up to hold the white sweater next to her. I get a few pairs of Wrangler jeans, long johns, and a couple flannel shirts. I’m grateful to have some more clothes to wear.
Mia and Levi pass out their gifts next. Momma and Pops insist there isn’t anything they need, and I think Mia looks hurt when they don’t want to accept their present.
“It’s not much, please just open it,” she pleads. I watch, and Mia and Levi sit together on the couch holding hands.
We all open the envelope, and it’s a baby announcement. I look at Mia and Levi and they are both grinning. The only thing filled out is the parents’ name. The baby’s name, weight, length, and date of birth are all left blank.
Suddenly, I hear Momma squeal with excitement. “A baby?”
Mia nods. Her long blond ponytail is bouncing with every nod.
“Oh, my word, a grandbaby?” Momma asks again.
“Yep.” Mia stands and Levi looks proud. He also stands and puffs his chest out further than usual.
I lay the unopened gift on the floor and rise to congratulate the expectant couple. When Momma and Pops are finished hugging them, I congratulate them both. “This is good news.” I never wanted children, and I never wanted a wife either. But for my brother, a family suits him. He is smiling and I know this is something that he wants.
“You’re gonna be an uncle,” Mia informs me.
“I guess I am. Do we know when?”
“On or around June 30th.”
We finish opening our gifts and I stand and remove the two envelopes from the tree. I hand Mom and Pops one, before handing Levi and Mia one.
As soon as I sit down, Momma says, “Abel, if this is money…”
I interrupt. “It’s not.” I know from past experience that they won’t accept money from me. “Please, just open it.” I brace myself for an onslaught of yelling, but it doesn’t come.
“Abel…” Mia begins to say and stops. I look at her and Levi and they are both looking at the paper that was in the envelope. I slowly look over at Momma and Pops. He takes the paper from Momma’s hands and reads it.
“Abel, how did you get the deed to our house?” Mia asks.
I rub my hands together and take a deep breath. “I wanted to do something nice for everyone.” I let that sink it, before saying anything else.
“You paid off the farm?” Pops asks.
“I did.”
“Bro, you paid off our house?” Levi asks, and he sounds happy and excited.
Finally, someone appreciates my gesture. I look at him and smile, but my smile fades quickly when I see the scowl on Mia’s face. Suddenly, I feel the need to protect myself. I stand up so I have an advantage. “Look, before you say anything.” I take a deep breath and continue, “Please, I just wanted to do something nice for the people I love the most in this world.”
“Abel, this is too much. We can’t let you pay off our house.” Mia thinks for the right words to say. “You can’t just go around payin’ off people’s mortgages.”
I did. I want to chuckle because it was really quite easy to do. The bank was eager to take my money. But I don’t chuckle, and I don’t say that the bank was eager to take my money. “Since I’ve been home, I see what you…” I look at Mia and then look to Levi, Pops, and Momma and then say, “You donate food to the church to give away. You even donate Sugar-Frosted Flakes because you know that kids like Sugar-Frosted Flakes.” I look at Momma and say, “I sent money home to help you, and you refused to take it. I want to assist you so you can continue to help others.” I look at Pops and then at Momma. “This gift is for me as much as it is for you. I want to do this for you… for all of you. Please, don’t take that away from me.”
The room goes quiet and I walk towards the fireplace. “Thank you, Abel,” Momma says. I watch as she and Pops stand and walk over to me. I think I see tears in Momma’s eyes. I hug her. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“You’re welcome, Momma.”
“Thank you, Son,” Pops says. I hug him next and then Mia.
“Abel, you have more money than you know what to do with,” she says, standing on her tiptoes to hug me. “This is really nice, especially with a baby on the way. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Mia. There isn’t anything I won’t do for junior.” I hold back the laugh that threatens to come.
“Don’t start that, Abel Lee. There’ll be no juniors in this house.”
She backs away and Levi hugs me next. “Bro, you paid off the house.”
I want to laugh, but I smile instead. “You’re welcome, Levi.”
“Thanks, Bro.”
Pops speaks up and says, “I have one more gift. Abel, can you give me a hand?”
“Sure.”
“Stay here,” he tells Mia, Levi, and Momma. Momma smiles — she knows what the gift is.
I follow him to the barn and help carry the heavy, unwrapped, cardboard box into the house. He sets the present in front of Mia and Levi. “Belle and I bought this a few weeks ago. We knew we would need it one day, we just didn’t know we would need it so soon.”
Mia and Levi ope
n the cardboard box and reveals a handmade, wooden cradle with spindle sides. “Oh, my goodness,” Mia says, holding her hand to her mouth. “This is gorgeous.”
I learn that Savannah Mae’s ex-husband and father-in-law made the cradle. After checking out the cradle, I realize it’s top quality workmanship. I gently swing it back and forth, and I wonder if Savannah Mae had one for Sawyer Jackson.
When Mia and Levi leave, I remember that I didn’t ask Mia what I should do about meeting Savannah Mae. I decide to go with my first plan.
Savannah Mae
“Why you rushin’ off?” My dad stands from the couch.
“I just wanna get home and clean up. It’s still a mess from this mornin’.”
“You sure that’s the only reason?”
“Yes, Daddy. I need to drop Sawyer Jackson off at Ethan’s, then I’m headin’ home.”
“It’s not like you to be in such a hurry on a holiday.”
Mom is standin’ next to Daddy and my sister, Samantha Marie, is placin’ ear buds into her ears so she can listen to some music. “I know, I’m sorry. You didn’t see the condition I left my house in.”
“Okay, I understand. Call us if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Daddy, I will. Mom, dinner was delicious. Thank you.”
I take the containers of leftover food, then Sawyer Jackson and I head to his daddy’s house. When I pull up to his apartment, my stomach does a flip when I see Heather Sue’s car parked next to Ethan’s truck. Homewrecker!
“Momma, that’s not Daddy’s car.”
I look back at Sawyer Jackson and smile. “No, it sure isn’t.” I try to not show the hurt on my face, and I try to not remember the night I caught my husband kissing her.
“Ready to see what Santa Claus brought you?” I say too happily for his benefit and mine.
“Yay, Santa,” he says, excitedly.
Before I have time to get Sawyer Jackson out of his booster seat, Ethan is walkin’ out of the house to greet us. He probably thought I would cause a scene.
“Merry Christmas, Daddy.”
“Merry Christmas, Buddy. Wanna see what Santa brought you?”
“Yay, Santa.”
“I love you, Sawyer Jackson, and I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”
“I love you, too.”
I look at Sawyer Jackson and hand him to Ethan. “Look, Savannah Mae…”
“Ethan.” I raise my hand to stop him. “I don’t want to hear it. I’ll pick Sawyer Jackson up tomorrow around noon.”
“I know what you’re thinkin’,” Ethan says.
I give him an icy stare. I’m pretty sure he has no idea what I’m thinkin’. I furrow my eyebrows and whisper, “Don’t. You have no idea what I’m thinkin’. Don’t talk to me about her again.”
I look up at his apartment and Heather Sue is standin’ in the doorway.
He backs away from me, holdin’ our son. I put on my Momma smile for my son. “Go see what Santa brought you, and I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Yay, Santa came,” he says, clapping his hands. “I wanna see my presents.”
I get into the console of the car to retrieve the small gift Sawyer Jackson and I got his daddy. I wish it were just from Sawyer Jackson, but stupid me, I wrote it was from the both of us on the card.
“Here, we got you a little something for Christmas.”
He takes the small box, wrapped in Santa paper, gives me a faint smile, and says, “Savannah Mae, I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t.” I raise my hand and shake my hand. “Just don’t.” I lower my head and stare at my boots. I can’t look at him. I’m not sure why I feel like this. I knew he saw Heather Sue while we were married, so why does him seein’ her now bother me? My eyes burn and I know tears are comin’. I had always hoped maybe it was a one-time incident, although I knew it wasn’t. Savannah Mae, you are so stupid!
“You got Daddy a gift?” I look up and he is talkin’ to Sawyer Jackson. Sawyer Jackson nods his head so hard his hat begins to fall into his eyes.
Reaching up, I readjust the hat on his small head. “Get him in the house, it’s cold out here.” I look my son, but I’m talkin’ to Ethan.
“Momma loves you, pretty boy.” I can feel my smile when I see my son. I gently touch my boy’s rosy cheek.
“I love you, too, Momma.”
I drive home and quickly pick up the house and run the sweeper. I stack Sawyer Jackson’s clothes and toys neatly back under the tree. Although Christmas is over, my family always put the opened gifts back under the tree once they were unwrapped. I think it’s to not rush the holidays. I admire the gifts and I am reminded of the wonderful morning Sawyer Jackson and I had together. I will always do what’s right for my son. I was raised to never do anything to embarrass my mother. I laugh at that. Even as an adult, I still use that one sayin’ as a guideline of the do’s and dont’s of life. If it embarrasses Momma, don’t do it. I’ll never do anything to embarrass my son, either.
After showering, I put on a pair of jeans and a red sweater, and pull my hair into a ponytail. A little mascara and lip-gloss, and I am now looking okay, not great, but okay. I’ll take it. I still have a small twinge of pain in my heart from seein’ Heather Sue in Ethan’s apartment. I am such a fool.
Abel Lee should be comin’ soon. I light a few candles and make myself a cup of hot herbal tea. Admirin’ my house, I suddenly realize it looks like I am tryin’ to set a romantic mood. I quickly blow out the candles and fan the smoke away with my hand. What am I doin’? I never should have asked Abel Lee to come over.
I grab the quilt and head out to the front porch instead. Fresh air will help. Takin’ some deep breaths, I exhale slowly. The sun is already settin’ when I hear a cluckin’ noise comin’ from down the street. Blinkin’, I try to focus in on the cowboy ridin’ the horse. He waves and I smile. It can’t be. I stand and wrap the quilt tighter around me, walkin’ towards the steps of the porch. Omigod, it’s Abel Lee Kennedy.
The horse doesn’t gallop but walks at a leisurely pace. Anticipation builds as I watch Abel Lee make his way towards me. He removes his cowboy hat and stops in front of my house and says, “Howdy.”
I can feel the smile spread across my face and I remind myself to tone it down. “Howdy,” I reply, closin’ my mouth and tryin’ to hide my bright smile. He looks so good on top of that horse, I don’t think I’m able to say anything else.
The horse moves and he steadies it. “I thought we could go for a ride.”
“Is that Colonel?” I know Bud and Nelly have only two horses, and I know what Colonel did to Levi not too long ago. Bucked ‘im off and almost trampled ‘im.
“The one and only.” The horse moves and he tries to steady it again.
“Where’s Bluebelle?” I want Bluebelle.
“She’s home. Colonel and I had a long talk and he promised to be good.”
I laugh. “I ain’t ridin’ on him,” I say, pointin’ my finger at the massive solid black stallion.
“C’mon. He’s just misunderstood.”
I have been up to Nelly and Bud’s a few times and I do like Colonel. He’s beautiful, black, and massive in size. I’ve been ridin’ horses since I was in diapers, even took lessons growin’ up. I know a lot about horses, probably more than most people. I often thought that Colonel was misunderstood because of his size. I also know that if you feed him, he listens a lot better. “Okay, give me a minute.”
“Yeah, you’ll come?”
“Let me get a coat on.” And some snacks to feed Colonel while we’re gone.
Once I am dressed properly for the cold, I head outside. Abel Lee is still sittin’ on top of Colonel. He smiles when he sees me. I walk up to the horse and pet him before I do anything else. I talk nicely and tell him to be nice, before feedin’ him some carrots I stashed in my pockets just for him. “Be nice, Colonel, Abel Lee’s a newbie.” I give him one last pet before movin’ away. “Ready?” I ask Abel Lee.
“Do you need help?”
> For a minute, I wonder if I should act clueless and defenseless. I quickly decide against it. I don’t want to mislead him. “No, I think I got it.”
He scoots up in the saddle and offers me his hand. I put one foot in the stirrup and hoist myself up in one try, using his hand for support. Colonel moves, but he doesn’t buck. “Easy, boy,” Abel Lee says as he steadies the stallion. “Ready?” he asks over his shoulder.
As I’ll ever be. “Yep,” I say instead.
I wrap my arms around Abel Lee and Colonel walks us down the road. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a horse and I soon realize that I miss it. The horse behaves himself, and I’m grateful. Abel Lee and I don’t talk but just enjoy the silence of the evening.
He stops by the creek and says, “Let’s take a break.”
I climb off Colonel and feed him some more carrots while Abel Lee climbs down from the saddle. Abel Lee comes up and also offers him an apple. “A bribe?” I ask, teasingly.
He chuckles. “As long as it works.” He strokes him between his eyes and down his long nose. “He does like his apples.”
“And carrots,” I add, pulling out more carrots from my coat pocket.
“Smart girl,” he says. He ties Colonel up to a tree and takes me by my hand, leadin’ me to the stream of runnin’ water. “I used to come here as a boy.” He leans against a tree and looks around the dark wooded area.
I sit down at the base of the tree trunk near his feet. He lowers himself and joins me. “It’s beautiful here.” I watch as he stretches out his long legs. “I can’t wait till Sawyer Jackson gets old enough so I can teach him to catch crawdads.”
He looks over at me. “You hunt crawdads?”
“Favorite pastime ever.”
“You fish, too?
I laugh. “You’re looking at the recipient of the blue ribbon award of the Perry County Catch and Release Tournament three years in a row.”
Now he laughs. “No.”
“Yes. I would never lie about something like that. That’s a big deal in these parts.” I try to hide the hint of a smile I feel on my lips.
“Now, Savannah Mae, that is very impressive.” He looks from one eye to the other, and I quickly look away.
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