Rose Farm Trilogy Boxset

by Kennedy, Brenda

As I walk through the house flippin’ light switches, I realize it’s not just a burned-out lightbulb.

  “I’ll check the breaker for you while put Sawyer Jackson to bed.”

  “Great, thanks. The flashlight’s in the drawer in the kitchen.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  After I change Sawyer Jackson into his pajamas and put him to bed, I start a fire in the fireplace. The lights still aren’t on in the house and it’s chilly in here. I light a few candles to add some warmth. I hear the basement steps creaking and look at the doorway until Ethan appears.

  “No luck?”

  “No, sorry. I’m afraid it’s more than I can fix. I hate to ask, but did you pay the light bill?”

  “Yes, of course I did.”

  “Well, then, it looks like you may need an electrician. Maybe Bud could look at it for you. I can ask him tomorrow at work.”

  “No, don’t. I know he’s busy helpin’ Abel Lee. I’ll ask Daddy to look at it first, then I’ll call Bud and Nelly.”

  He disappears into Sawyer Jackson’s room. “Okay, suit yourself.”

  He carries a sleepin’ Sawyer Jackson and lays ‘im on the loveseat. “It’s too cold for him to sleep in the bedroom. You got enough blankets to keep warm tonight?”

  “Yeah, I have some in the closet.”

  “It’s not that cold out. The fireplace should warm up the house fairly quickly. Okay, I best be leavin’. I have work in the mornin’.”

  “I saw you this mornin’ workin’ at the old schoolhouse. You and Kevin workin’ there full-time?”

  “We are, well, at least until steady work comes through with the furniture business.”

  “You just need a nice buildin’ in a great location.”

  “That word ‘just’ is a mighty big word, Savannah Mae.”

  I watch as he walks to the door. I follow behind. “Have a good night, and thanks for havin’ dinner with me.”

  “Thank you for everything. Sawyer Jackson and I had a good time.”

  He looks from one eye to the other. “I’m sorry. If I could go back in time and erase all the pain I caused you, I would.”

  He leans in and kisses my forehead. I lean in and let him. I close my eyes and a tear falls.

  “I know, but you can’t.”

  Abel Lee

  I shower and dress in jeans and a button-up white shirt. I’m clean shaven and wearing a little cologne, and I’m ready to go and get my girl. I have no idea what to say to her, but I know I have one chance to make my plea. When I get to her street, I see Ethan’s car parked out front of her house. Dinner was hours ago; I thought he would have been gone by now. I drive around to give him time to leave. I still don’t know what I’m going to say to her, so this will give me some time to prepare myself.

  After thirty minutes, I drive slowly down her street. I’m disappointed when I see Ethan’s car is still parked in the same spot. When I drive past her house, it’s dark. I can see only the glow of candles and the fireplace through the living-room windows.

  I know what this looks like, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. My mind thinks about what they could be doing in her house in the dark. When I can’t take the thoughts of Ethan being intimate with Savannah Mae any longer, I leave.

  Savannah Mae

  Ethan leaves and I lock up the house. I make Sawyer Jackson and me a bed on the floor, nearest the fireplace. When Ethan asked did I pay the light bill, I remembered that I didn’t. I thought I had more time to come up with the rest of the money. I was just a little short on the amount. The winter bills are high and it’s hard to keep up with the high payments. I never had this problem when I was married. I never owned this house either. Without electricity, I don’t have hot water or heat. Thankfully the stove is gas. If it gets any colder, I can turn on the oven or the burners for more heat.

  I can’t sleep because I need to keep wood burnin’ in the fireplace. I cuddle closer to Sawyer Jackson to keep ‘im warm. It’s not bitter cold, but a chill is still in the house, and I don’t want to risk ‘im becomin’ ill again.

  The next mornin’, Sawyer Jackson and I dress quickly and rush over to my parents’ house. I wanted to talk to Abel Lee this mornin’, but that will have to wait. I have to get the light bill paid first.

  After Daddy loans me the rest of the money I need including extra for the fee for turnin’ the electricity back on, I call and make my payment by phone. They assure me the electricity should be on before 5:00. It’s 9:22 in the mornin’.

  We have breakfast at my parents’ house. Samantha Marie is already off to school. I’m glad she’s not here; she doesn’t need to know my struggles. I text her and ask her will she watch Sawyer Jackson for me this afternoon.

  The sun is shinin’ and it feels good. We go to the grocery store before goin’ home. I need a few items, but I’m mostly stallin’ for time. I’m hopin’ the electricity gets turned on before we get home.

  We pull up at the house and Sawyer Jackson says, “Mommy, there’s Daddy’s truck.”

  “It sure is.” I look in the rearview mirror and my son is leanin’ up in his booster seat lookin’ out the window.

  “And there’s Abel Lee’s truck, too.”

  My heart picks up a beat at the sound of Abel Lee’s name. I scan the field of the old schoolhouse and sure enough, Abel Lee’s truck is parked in the middle of the field. I scan the field until I see Abel Lee standin’ in the field talkin’ to Ethan. I watch them both and I used to get excited like this whenever I saw Ethan. Now, I’m excited about seein’ Abel Lee. Maybe I’m movin’ on and didn’t even realize it. I look back at Sawyer Jackson and say, “C’mon, Buddy, let’s go inside.”

  As I unbuckle him from his seatbelt, I notice the porch light is on. I breathe a sigh of relief and say a silent prayer. After his bath, I take mine. I dress in the same outfit I wore on New Year’s Eve. I wear my Catch and Release belt buckle and smile. I laugh to myself. I know what Abel Lee was thinkin’ when he saw this belt on me New Year’s Eve. He didn’t have to say it; the twinkle in his eyes said it for him.

  Just as I spray myself with the last of my Victoria’s Secret fragrance Love Spell, Samantha Marie pulls up.

  “Where you headed lookin’ like that?” she asks, walkin’ through the door.

  “Nowhere. I’m just gonna walk over to the old school and see how it’s comin’ along,” I kind of lie, but it’s kind of the truth, too. I am walkin’ over to the old school.

  She looks out the kitchen window and smiles. “Well, you better hurry, it looks like they’re callin’ it a day.”

  I’m also lookin’ outside. I know that Abel Lee is always the last person to leave. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay, no hurry.”

  I take one last look outside and fidget with my hair before leavin’. I walk the short distance to the old schoolhouse. I see Abel Lee standin’ in the field, and I walk in that direction. I’m nervous about talkin’ to him. I think I judged him wrongly and quickly. I’ve been thinkin’ about ‘im and I don’t think he’s capable of harmin’ someone outside of the boxin’ ring — at least not someone who deserved it. I just hope he’ll talk to me, and maybe forgive me.

  He looks at me but doesn’t smile. I watch him and he watches me. I can’t tell what he’s thinkin’, I’m not close enough to read his eyes. As I get closer, I hear footsteps and someone yells my name. I reluctantly look over my shoulder and see Ethan runnin’ towards me. Not now.

  I stop and wait for Ethan to catch up with me. I smile slightly, because I don’t want to be rude.

  “What’s up?” I ask.

  “Just wanted to make sure you have electricity.”

  I look back at Abel Lee and he’s still watchin’ me. “I do. It came on this mornin’. Musta been an outage,” I lie.

  “Oh, that’s good. I didn’t hear of any outages in the area.”

  “I don’t know, but it’s back on. Thanks for askin’.” I hate lyin’, but I can’t let people know that I didn’t pay m
y light bill. That’s humiliatin’. Even if it is Ethan.

  “Okay, I won’t keep you. Just wanted to make sure.”

  I turn back around, and I see Abel Lee’s truck pullin’ off.

  Abel Lee

  I have to admit, when I saw Savannah Mae walking towards me, I was hoping she was there to see me. I just watched her as she walks towards me. I wanted to run up and swing her around and kiss her, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. That outfit, and the damn belt buckle. She looked hot. Her long blonde hair in big loose curls, her bright smile, and those boots.

  Then her ex-husband ran up to her. I kept watching her, but she was no longer looking at me. When the memories of last night came flooding my thoughts, I left. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t take thinking of them being together last night.

  I drive to the County Line Bar. It’s the bar where I met Megan Rose and it’s the bar where she was killed. I need a drink and this is the closest place to get one. I walk into the bar and order a Scotch on the rocks.

  After my fourth double shot, I stop. I realize I’m sitting at the same barstool where I was sitting the night I met Megan Rose. Thoughts of her flood my mind. Her long dark hair, her beautiful smile. Why would someone want to kill her? What reason would anyone have to hurt her?

  I sit there and let the liquor do its job. My thoughts drift to Savannah Mae and what we could have been together. I liked her from the very beginning. She was different and I liked that. I liked her son and how she put him above everything else, including me. Savannah Mae likes the simple things in life, and as much as I search, I’m sure I will never find anyone else like her.

  I think back to my first date with her, and every date after that. I wanted to be with her, I wanted to help her, and I wanted to make life easier for her and to treat her how she deserves to be treated. I may never get the chance to do that.

  The alcohol isn’t doing what I wanted it to. I was hoping it would take the pain away, but it’s not.

  “Drownin’ your sorrows?” a familiar voice asks.

  I look up and see Levi standing next to me. I watch as he throws back a shot of Jack Daniels. I blink to make sure I’m not seeing things. I didn’t know Levi frequented this bar, let alone any bar.

  “Trying to, and you?”

  “Yeah, me, too. One more please for me, and for my brother,” he says to the bartender. My brother is still dressed in his work clothes.

  “What sorrows do you have to drown?” I slur.

  “You gotta ask?”

  “Yeah. You seem to have a pretty good life. You have a wife who loves you, a baby on the way, a great job. Life seems pretty good from where I’m looking.”

  I watch as he throws back another shot. “A baby with Down syndrome. Have you read about that shit? Down syndrome is pretty messed up.”

  “It can be, yes. But the degrees of it vary.” I toss back the drink he bought for me. My mind’s fuzzy and I wonder if my brother is really in this bar. And if he is, this is a deep conversation. I’m beginning to wish I was sober to have it with him.

  “I’m scared shitless that my baby will be born an invalid. My baby doesn’t deserve that. I sit here everyday and wonder if Mia and I are bein’ selfish. We want a baby so bad that we’re willin’ to give a life of hardship to our son or daughter.”

  I had no idea my brother had those thoughts.

  “What if the baby is born fine? What if the baby has a mild form of it?” I ask, trying hard to not slur my words.

  “And what if it doesn’t?” he answers.

  Levi

  When I walked into the bar and saw Abel, I almost turned around and left. I didn’t want him to judge me. I just recently started comin’ here after work. I just come for a drink or two a few days a week after work. I have stress, and this is my only release. One problem with bein’ married, which may not be a problem for everyone, is that it’s hard to be alone. I know married men who hunt just because it’s the only time they can be alone. A man can be alone in a bar even when other people are there.

  All Mia and I ever wanted was a baby. After three miscarriages, I almost lost all hope of us conceivin’ our own child. We were talkin’ about adoption until she became pregnant again. We were devastated when we heard Mia’s blood levels were abnormal.

  We both went home and researched Down syndrome on the internet. Mia didn’t want to terminate the pregnancy. In all honesty, I didn’t want to either. I also didn’t want a child with Down syndrome. I believed, I had to believe that God would take care of the pregnancy as He saw fit. I also had to believe He ended the last three pregnancies because something wasn’t right.

  I don’t voice my concerns with anyone, I don’t want to upset them. Now that we are gettin’ closer to the due date, I’m findin’ it harder to hide my fears. The alcohol helps to numb me, and I like that.

  I finally say, “And what if it doesn’t? What if my baby has a severe case of Down syndrome?” I look at Abel and he doesn’t answer. His eyes look glassy and he’s swayin’ back and forth while sittin’ on the barstool.

  “You’re drunk.” It’s not a question, he is drunk.

  “Nah. Just had a few,” he slurs. “Your baby will be fine.”

  I wish he wouldn’t say that because he doesn’t know for sure. Abel is gonna be a buzz kill for me.

  “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

  We talk on the drive home and he tells me in a very slurred drunken tone about Savannah Mae and Ethan. The further I drive, the more slurred his words become. I can make out only every other word, although I think he’s sayin’ Savannah Mae is back with her ex, Ethan. He must be drunk if he believes that. I don’t say anything, I just let him talk. I hope he forgets about this conversation tomorrow.

  I walk Abel into the house and tell Pops where his truck is before I leave to head home. I was gonna feed the animals but Pops already did the chores. Despite thinkin’ I might return to the bar for a drink, I go home instead. It’s gettin’ late and Mia will begin to worry.

  Savannah Mae

  I watch as Abel Lee drives off in his pick-up truck and my heart dives to the pit of my stomach.

  “Where’s he goin’?” I ask.

  “Dunno. I’ve never seen him leave before his crew before.” Ethan looks at me and smiles, “You look nice. You here to see Abel?”

  “Thank you, and no, I’m not here to see Abel Lee. I just came over to see the improvements on the buildin’.”

  “Well, in that case, let me show you around.”

  I walk with Ethan, still disappointed that Abel Lee isn’t here and that I didn’t get a chance to talk to ‘im. As I walk into the old schoolhouse, I get excited at all of the improvements.

  “This looks great.”

  “It sure is comin’ along,” he says.

  “Has Abel Lee said what he wants to do with it yet?”

  “I haven’t heard. He’s a givin’ man, and I’m sure whatever it is, it’ll bring jobs into the community.”

  “Yes, he is. I’m sure everyone here will benefit from it one way or another.”

  I walk through the buildin’ lookin’ at all of the improvements before headin’ home. Samantha Marie and I decide to go have dinner at Peaches Place. Sawyer Jackson is excited since we don’t get to eat out much. I call Mom and Daddy to see if they want to join us, and they do.

  Durin’ dinner, we talk about Samantha Marie’s classes she’s takin’ at school. She’ll be graduatin’ from nursin’ school soon, and is excited about landin’ her dream job. She isn’t sure where her dream job will be, but she knows that she wants it to pay well.

  “I’ve been doin’ research and Noble Correctional is hirin’ new nurses.”

  “A prison?” Daddy asks in disbelief.

  “Accordin’ to the nursin’ instructors at the school, the prisons pay the best and they offer the best insurance.”

  Daddy rubs his hand over his chin. “I don’t think I want my baby girl workin’ in a prison.”

  Samant
ha Marie smiles at Daddy callin’ her his baby girl. We’ll always be Daddy’s baby girls.

  “I still have to graduate and pass my NCLEX — that’s the National Council Licensure Exam — before I can even think about a job.”

  The door opens and in walks Rick Crooks and Diana, his sister. Rick is our resident rock star. He makes art sculptures out of salvaged metals from memory. Mom and Daddy have a few of his items in their flower garden at the house. They have a three-foot metal flower made from a circular saw, a turtle made from an old Army helmet, and a turkey also made from a circular saw. I often tease him and ask if he’s still doin’ arts and crafts. He just laughs at me. His work is anything but arts and crafts.

  I watch as he maneuvers around the restaurant to the center table. He’s completely blind, but I often wonder if he doesn’t have some vision. I once told him I thought he could see. He can do everything but drive a car, and on a road familiar to him, I’m not sure he couldn’t drive it.

  As soon as he and Diana are seated, people start goin’ over to their table. Diana sees us and waves. Rick is all smiles as he visits with friends and neighbors. They’re both here for their dinner and they don’t seem upset at the delay of orderin’ their meal. Rick is probably used to it by now. He is a rock star, after all. Well, we consider him a rock star, although he considers himself a workin’ man. He’s that, too.

  After dinner, we go over to their table to say our hellos. We don’t stay long, just long enough for a short greetin’. Rick stands from the table as we stay to talk for a few minutes. He’s wearin’ his signature blue-jean bib overalls. He and Diana invite us to have dessert with them, but Daddy declines on our behalf. He doesn’t want to intrude on their dinner. We say our goodbyes and head home.

  When I get home, there’s a letter tucked inside the screen door. I remove it thinkin’ it’s a birthday party invite from a neighbor. When I open it, I’m surprised to see a familiar handwritin’.

  Savannah Mae,

  There’s more that you don’t know about!

  Not a Friend

  Abel Lee

  I wake up with a hangover. My head hurts as I try to remember the previous night. Levi. The bar. My truck. It’s still at the bar. I slowly get out of bed and make my way to the restroom. I take some Tylenol and down a couple glasses of water. I shower before I have my coffee. I smell like a day-old drunk. Even I find it disgusting.