Rose Farm Trilogy Boxset

by Kennedy, Brenda

  “Just doing research, I’m done now.” It’s not a lie, I was doing research. I just don’t tell her what kind of research.

  I walk to the bedroom with Savannah Mae. She cuddles into me as she always does. We fit perfectly together. Not that that should surprise me, but I’m always amazed by it. I sleep well until Savannah Mae wakes me for church. She and Sawyer Jackson are already dressed, and the baked cheesy hash browns are in the oven cooking for the potluck. I shower quickly and dress for church.

  We walk to the church and sit with our families in the middle two rows. Samantha Marie is there with her boyfriend, Matt Roscoe. It’s nice that he has joined our church. Savannah Mae’s parents are also here. Harley is a few months old and is passed around from person to person in the church. He likes the attention. Shortly after his birth, the sermon was about special needs children and the importance of not treating them differently. I still don’t know if Mia and Levi spoke to him about it prior to the service, or if he was speaking from experience.

  It’s easy to treat Harley normally. He does have the features of a child with Down syndrome, but he doesn’t act any differently than any other child. He laughs, cries, and plays. He knows his parents and he likes to cuddle and be read to. I hope and pray that he continues to grow and thrive in this manner.

  Just before church begins, I hold Harley first. It doesn’t last long before he cries for Mia. She holds him and rocks him as he watches me over her shoulder. I try to pay attention to the sermon, but I can’t help but watch my nephew.

  After church, we have potluck and visit with everyone. Mia spreads out a blanket in the corner of the room and lays Harley down on his belly. The girls all go over and watch as he plays with his toys. The guys all huddle by Mrs. Hackler’s chocolate cake. The cake Savannah Mae brought to Levi and Mia’s yesterday wasn’t the same chocolate cake that Mrs. Hackler makes. It was good, but it wasn’t as good.

  “What’s Mia doing with Harley?” Pops asks.

  Levi looks in the corner of the room. “Oh, that. According to his pediatrician, Harley needs ‘tummy time.’”

  “Tummy time?” Pops asks.

  “He needs time to lie on his belly everyday. Mia has him on a schedule. She thinks he’ll do better on a schedule.”

  Maybe with a boy who has Down syndrome, she’s right. Maybe having a strict routine is the way to go. I have no idea. “He’s doing very well, so she must be doing something right.”

  “Thanks, she’s bound and determined to give him the best chance at life she can.”

  It feels good to know that my nephew is cared for. It reminds me of Sawyer Jackson. I’ve been so consumed with the old school that sometimes I forget to make time for him.

  “I’ll talk to you guys later. I think we’re going to cut out early.”

  I walk over to Sawyer Jackson and ask him if he’s ready to go. He takes my hand and we walk over to Savannah Mae.

  “Are you about ready?”

  “I haven’t helped with the cleanup yet.”

  “Do you think maybe we could skip the cleanup today? I thought we could do something today.”

  She looks around the room. “There’s still a lot of people here. Let me tell Mom and Nelly we’re leaving.”

  On the way home, Savannah Mae asks, “You didn’t want to stay and visit?”

  “I thought we could do something as a family today.”

  “What do you have in mind?”

  Sawyer Jackson walks in between us swinging his arms.

  “Do you remember the night when I showed up at your house riding on Colonel?”

  She smiles. “We went down by the creek and talked.”

  “We did. You said you couldn’t wait until Sawyer Jackson got bigger so you could teach him how to hunt for crawdads.”

  Her eyes light up. “You wanna go crawdad huntin’?” It’s the end of August, a perfect time to go huntin’ for crawdads.

  “Mom, what’s a crawdad?”

  “They look like lobsters.”

  “With pinchers?” he asks.

  “Yes.” Savannah Mae is excited, but Sawyer Jackson doesn’t seem all that thrilled. “We have to wade in the water to find them,” she says.

  “I get to play in the creek?” he asks excitedly.

  “You do.”

  We change and dress in old shorts and tank tops. Savannah Mae gets three beach towels and a cooler with a few drinks and snacks in it, while I get two empty buckets from the basement.

  We drive to the creek, and she explains to Sawyer Jackson about the crawdads. We tell him they hide under rocks and to be careful with the pinchers. We also tell him they are much smaller than lobsters. He has never seen a lobster in real life; he has only seen them in books.

  We park in the shade and set the cooler and beach towels in the grass under the large oak tree. Sawyer Jackson is almost as excited as Savannah Mae. There’s something about swimming in the creek and crawdad hunting that makes for a perfect summer day. Just watching them, I realize that it takes a special woman to raise a son by herself. Savannah Mae is as sexy as they come, but she’s all tomboy when she needs to be for her son.

  We get into the shallow water and it feels good on this hot summer day. Savannah Mae takes her bucket and starts to turn over a rock. “Not so fast.”

  She looks up and smiles. “What?”

  “Guys versus girls.”

  She laughs, “You wanna race?”

  “I think we guys,” I say, waving my hand between Sawyer Jackson and me, “can beat you.”

  She raises a brow. “You do, do you?”

  “Yep, ‘cause boys are better than girls,” Sawyer Jackson brags. I laugh.

  “Turnin’ my son against me, are ya?” She tries not to laugh. “Didn’t I tell you I won the ‘Perry County Crawdad Catching Contest’ two years in a row?”

  “Did not, there’s no such thing.”

  “You sure about that?”

  No. Is there such a thing? I don’t dare show my doubt. “We ain’t scared of no girl,” Sawyer Jackson yells. “Are we, Abel Lee?”

  “Nope, we ain’t scared of no girl.”

  She tosses me a bucket and says, “Okay, you have thirty minutes to catch the most crawdads. Unless you boys think you’ll need more time.” She arches a perfectly shaped brow.

  “Nope, thirty minutes is enough time to win. What do you want to wager?”

  “What’s a wager?” Sawyer Jackson asks.

  “It’s a bet,” I whisper.

  “Dinner? The loser” — she makes an L out of her thumb and index finger and holds it to her forehead — “has to make dinner tonight.”

  “Abel Lee, I don’t know how to cook,” Sawyer Jackson whispers.

  “Don’t worry Buddy, we won’t need to. We aren’t going to lose.” I look at Savannah Mae and I just want to kiss her. I love her sassiness. I love her competitiveness. “Dinner it is. Whatcha makin’ us?”

  She laughs loudly. “Not this time.” She looks at Sawyer Jackson and asks, “Sawyer Jackson, you sure you’re on the right team?”

  He starts to walk towards Savannah Mae before I put my hand on his shoulder. “He’s sure? Aren’t ya, Buddy?”

  “Yep.” He doesn’t sound convinced.

  “Enough stallin’, let’s get to huntin’,” I say using my country accent to match Savannah Mae’s.

  “You stay on that end of the creek, and I’ll stay on this end of the creek.”

  “Okay, see you in thirty minutes.”

  Savannah Mae

  I eagerly carry my bucket and head down the creek away from Abel Lee and Sawyer Jackson. I turn around and watch as Abel Lee teaches my son how to hunt for crawdads. I smile when I see them catch one. Sawyer Jackson doesn’t pick it up, but he watches Abel Lee as he carefully picks one up behind the pinchers. I ponder whether to let them win, but quickly decide against it.

  I smile to myself as I remember Abel Lee tryin’ to talk with a country accent. He’s cute. I turn over a couple rocks before I
see my first crawdad. I quickly pick it up and place it in the bucket. I add water in the bucket to keep this one and the other crawdads I plan to find alive.

  This reminds me of huntin’ crawdads with Daddy and Samantha Marie. Mom would always stay on the bank and watch us from under the large oak tree. I find another crawdad and another. I don’t need to walk far to find them. Daddy would call this a “honey hole” if he were here. I continue my search for crawdads as I remember my childhood. I hope Sawyer Jackson thinks back on this day with fond memories.

  My bucket begins to feel heavy, and I get excited when I see how many I have. I get more excited thinkin’ that Abel Lee and Sawyer Jackson will be cookin’ me dinner tonight.

  “Time’s up,” Abel Lee yells.

  I turn around and they are both smilin’. I walk back to them as they walk up to meet me. “Smilin’ pretty big, aren’t ya?”

  “We got lots and lots of crawdads,” Sawyer Jackson say excitedly.

  “You did? Did you get more than me?” I hold up my bucket so they can see. I struggle more than necessary to hold up my bucket. Sawyer Jackson looks worried and I have to smile. Kids are so honest.

  Abel Lee groans and moans as he also struggles to lift their bucket. “This bucket is so heavy. Can you help me lift it, Sawyer Jackson?”

  We dramatically lift our buckets up to the bank. After we dry off, we sit down to count the crawdads. We decide who catches the most will win, and whoever has the largest one will also win.

  “That’s two meals to wager on,” Abel Lee says.

  “Yep, that’s two meals I won’t have to cook.”

  He laughs. “I hope you have something in that bucket to back up all that sassiness.”

  “Oh, trust me, I do.”

  Sawyer Jackson does the countin’ of my crawdads. I pick the short stick so I have to go first. I end up with 24 crawdads caught.

  Next, I count Abel Lee and Sawyer Jackson’s crawdads. When I get to 22, I start to worry. Abel Lee has a good game face. His eyes light up and he reaches into the bucket for another crawdad. He smiles has he pulls his hand out with nothing in it. “You lost?” I yell. “You lost.” I peek into the bucket and it’s empty.

  “I win!” I say excitedly.

  “You won the most, but did you win the biggest?” We compare the largest and it’s no comparison — I lost.

  Sawyer Jackson stands and does a happy dance. “We got the biggest, we got the biggest.”

  We all laugh and Abel Lee hugs me and Sawyer Jackson. After we release the crawdads back into the creek, Abel Lee and I stay on the bank as we watch Sawyer Jackson play in the creek. It’s a fun and relaxing day. One the way home, we all decide to have pizza for dinner.

  Abel Lee seems to be more relaxed than he was last night. I wish he would open up and talk to me. I know he wants to protect me, but from what? I need to focus on today, and on the wonderful day we had.

  “So, my little boy starts school tomorrow.”

  “Mommy, I’m not little. I’m big. I’ll be in kindergarden.”

  Abel Lee and I try to hide our giggles.

  “Kindergarten, with a t,” I correct. Actually, he is sort of correct. “Kindergarten” is German for “children’s garden,” if what I learned in high school is correct.

  “That’s what I said, ‘Kindergarden.’”

  “I told Pops that I was going to go with you to drop him off at school.”

  “You’re comin’ with us?”

  “I thought I would, yes. It’s a big day. I didn’t want to miss it.”

  I don’t say anything. I have a lump in my throat. I never once considered that Abel Lee would want to be a part of Sawyer Jackson’s first day of school. This is a big day in our lives; it’s a milestone. I always try to take into consideration that Abel Lee doesn’t have children and this is all new to him. The family, the children, parenthood. But he always surprises me. He is always doing something to show me that this is what he wants, that this is the life he wants. Like today, he planned a day of catching crawdads. He remembered my words from our very first date.

  Once we get home, Abel Lee goes for his nightly run, while I get the house together. I bathe Sawyer Jackson and get his school clothes ready for his first day of school. Just before bedtime, Abel Lee comes home. He goes into the closet and hands me a couple of books he bought for this special occasion. I’m excited to see that there are two books about starting your first day of school. The first book is First Day Jitters, by Julie Danneberg. The second book is Kindergarten, Here I Come, by D.J. Steinberg.

  Sawyer Jackson gets settled in bed, and Abel Lee and I sit at the foot of his bed. I read the first story and show Sawyer Jackson the pictures. At the end of the second book, I ask, “Are you worried about tomorrow?”

  “Nope.”

  “Do you know your address?” Abel Lee asks. We listen as Sawyer Jackson recites our home address from memory. “And do you know your Mom’s phone number?”

  “Yep, and I know your phone number and Daddy’s phone number, too.”

  “Good job. I think my boy’s ready for his first day.”

  Abel Lee and I shower before bed. I think I’m more excited about Sawyer Jackson’s first day more than Sawyer Jackson is. When I walk into the bedroom, Abel Lee is standin’ at the closet. In his hand is my sketch pad.

  “Lookin’ for something?”

  He stands there shirtless wearing only a pair of sleep pants. “I was looking for a shirt for you to sleep in, but I found this instead.” He holds up the closed sketchpad.

  I reach into the closet to pull off one of his tee-shirts that’s on a hanger. “Did you look at it yet?” I slip it over my head.

  “I didn’t open it.”

  I leave him standin’ at the closet as I jump into bed. “I’ve never showed anyone my sketches before.”

  He closes the closet door and joins me in bed. “Let me be the first to see it.”

  I make a face and he laughs. “I’m scared you’ll laugh.”

  “You have nothing to worry about. I promise you, I will never laugh at your work.” He holds the pad and fans the pages. I watch as he teases me.

  I cover my head with the sheet. “Okay, you promised you won’t laugh.”

  He chuckles loudly. I can hear as he opens the sketch pad. He doesn’t say anything. I can hear the page turn as he looks at another sketch. I want him to say something, anything. I wanna look, but I’m afraid. I can hear as he turns another page. “What’s this picture of?”

  “I don’t know, I can’t see it.” If he doesn’t know what the picture is of, it must not be any good. He tugs on the bed sheet and it falls from over my head. I quickly squeeze my eyes closed.

  He laughs again. “Savannah Mae, these are really good. This one looks like Sawyer Jackson, but he’s much older. Who is this one of?” I think I know the picture he’s talkin’ about. I slowly open my eyes and look at the sketch. It’s a picture of Sawyer Jackson. Well, it’s my vision of what I think Sawyer Jackson would look like as a teenager. “This is Sawyer Jackson, isn’t it?” He looks over at me, and then looks back at the picture.

  “It is. It’s an age progression of Sawyer Jackson. It’s what I imagine my son will look like when he’s older.”

  “Savannah Mae, this is really good. This takes some serious talent to be able to do that.”

  “Not really. I look at my son all day. I have his face memorized. This was easy to draw.”

  “It’s really good, has he seen it?”

  Now it’s my turn to laugh. “No, no one has seen these. It’s my personal work. I don’t think anyone would be interested in these.” He doesn’t say anything. I cuddle into him as he flips through some more pages. He stops at a sketch of me, Ethan, and Sawyer Jackson. It’s another age progression of us much later in life. I did it when Ethan and I were married, and I thought we were gonna be together forever. Ethan has grayin’ temples and we both have wrinkles. Sawyer Jackson is in his thirties. We are standin’ in front of a log
cabin. “This is an old book. I have a new one with newer sketches in it. It might be more interestin’ for you to look at.”

  “Is the log cabin a place that you have visited?”

  “No, but I always wanted to live in a log cabin. This sketch is of us standin’ outside of our home. As you can see, I have a very vivid imagination.”

  He closes the pad and looks at the date on the cover. It’s dated a few years ago. He stands and reaches for another pad in the top of the closet. When he finds the most recent year, he climbs back into bed. This book begins with when I met Abel Lee. The first picture is of our first date. The night he showed up with Colonel. The next sketch is of us sled ridin’ when we went to Dillon. Another picture is of Larry Adams, our friend from the community kitchen. He died unexpectedly during last year’s winter blizzard. Abel Lee pauses and studies this sketch.

  “It looks just like him.”

  “Thank you.”

  He looks at each sketch carefully before he goes to the next one. Another picture is of the old school house before he started renovatin’ it, then another sketch is of the old school house completed. The next sketch is the one of him that I was drawin’ not long ago. It’s one of my favorites. I was able to capture his five o’clock shadow and his dimples.

  “This is me?”

  “It’s you at home when you’re relaxed.”

  “I look different when I’m not relaxed?”

  “Sometimes, yes. You get crows feet in the corner of your eyes and you have worry lines on your forehead when you’re worried.”

  “Am I worried now?”

  I look at him and see that he has crows feet around his eyes and worry lines on his forehead.

  “Yes.”

  He smiles big and reveals his perfectly white teeth and his dimples. We both laugh.

  He turns the page and the last picture is of Sawyer Jackson, me, and Abel Lee. Abel Lee is wearing a white cowboy hat, white shirt, jeans and cowboy boots. Sawyer Jackson is dressed identically to Abel Lee. I’m dressed in a white dress, cowboy boots, and a small white floral halo that rests on top of my head. I’m holding a bouquet of wild flowers. He studies the picture before looking back at me. In the background is a forest of evergreens. “This is a sketch of our wedding?”