Husband Stay (Husband #2)

by Louise Cusack

  On the other side of the door, leaning against the wall opposite, his arms crossed, as if he had all day to wait, was Jack.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  The bottom fell out of my stomach as I stared at him. “You did follow Kamal with the box.” So much for my privacy.

  “I did.” Jack straightened and dropped his arms, holding my gaze for a moment before taking in my appearance from the top of my loose hair down over my crop top and pants to my bare feet. He’d lingered on my exposed midriff, looking so hungry I felt momentarily lost, as if I couldn’t remember whether we were meeting to have hot, hard sex, or stand in the corridor about to fight.

  At last he broke the spell. “You’ve been crying.”

  “Go away.” As if that would somehow erase the heat between us. It filled the space like a voracious animal, ready to pounce.

  He shook his head. “I’m not married. I assume that’s what you think.”

  I could feel myself shaking in reaction, but he wasn’t going to bamboozle me. “Then who is Belle?” I demanded. “And her children?”

  His lips pressed together for a second. “I’m not at liberty to—”

  I put up a hand to stop him talking. “I’m expecting a friend. Go away.” Despite the fact that I was quite sure he was an unfaithful bastard, I wanted him to touch me. Badly. And not only was that the worst sort of self-destructive behavior, Louella was on her way up. I had to end this.

  He raised an eyebrow. “And is this friend, Tug Dunn, who I thought was Doug. Either way, he’s a bastard and—”

  “Pot kettle!” I snapped as my trembling reaction morphed into anger. “Don’t lecture me about who’s likely to hurt me, who’s likely to use me. Of all the people—”

  “Angela!” Louella had just exited the lift. When she had my attention she said calmly, “You’re making a scene.”

  I sucked in an unsteady breath and forced myself to nod. Louella didn’t do scenes. But before I could apologize to her, a strange man stepped out of the lift behind her and I did a double-take. He was not as big as Jack, but remarkably well-muscled, wearing a black sleeveless vest and jeans. Swirling tattoos ran down one bicep. He stood close behind Louella, as if he was a bodyguard, and he watched Jack very closely.

  “Is this your visitor?” Jack snapped, and pointed at the vest-clad stranger.

  I glared at Jack, but I lowered my voice in deference to Louella’s sensibilities. “You don’t get to be jealous. Goodbye.” I stepped back inside my apartment and waited.

  I have no idea what sort of imperious look Louella gave Jack, but he backed up and said, “Sorry,” as she walked up and stopped beside him. Her plus-one was bristling at her side, clearly unhappy to have her in such close proximity to Jack, but she merely looked Jack up and down, raising an eyebrow at the cowboy boots and western shirt. Then she turned to me and said, “I assume this man is the subject of our discussion?”

  I pressed my lips together, completely embarrassed, and nodded.

  She sighed and stepped into the apartment, closely followed by Mr. Tattoo and I shut the door on Jack, resisting the urge to poke my tongue out at him. That would be completely childish, but damned if he didn’t bring out the worst in me.

  When I’d turned my back on the door, I saw the vested man helping Louella out of her stylish grey coat. There was nothing sexual about the action, and neither of them made eye contact with the other, but still…they seemed very much at ease with the close proximity. And Louella was normally one to protect her personal space, even with friends. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there seemed to be some intimacy between them. Was he a relative I’d never heard of?

  “Thank you for coming,” I said, waiting for the man to be introduced.

  Louella merely nodded and smoothed her hands down the front of her deceptively simple floral box dress. She’d teamed it with pearls, her usual nod to the sixties, and as she sat at my tiny kitchen table and placed her hands on her lap, she looked so self-contained I wished I could emulate that. I’d occasionally imagined her life was boring, but I’d do anything for an hour of that tranquility now.

  “This is Nicholas.” She didn’t look at him, and he very carefully didn’t look at my bared midriff. He kept his attention on my face as he stepped forward and extended one hand for me to shake.

  “Angela.” His voice was deep, and the word was slightly clipped.

  I shook his hand and then he stepped back a pace, not quite behind Louella and not beside her either. I should have said, Nice to meet you, but I had no idea why he was there when I wanted a very private discussion with Louella.

  Nobody said anything for an embarrassing ten seconds before Louella said, “Do you think your troublesome visitor is gone?”

  “I hope so,” I replied.

  “Give it another minute,” Nick said, “and I’ll check.” He was scoping my apartment, quite casually, but I got the idea he wasn’t a hundred percent comfortable in his surroundings.

  “Okay.” I certainly didn’t want to stick my head out into the corridor again. More silent seconds ticked over before I said to Louella, “Thanks for coming, by the way.”

  “My pleasure.” That was all she said and the rest of the minute was empty space, but I wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t opening up in front of a stranger so I simply waited, breathing deeply and trying to get the thundering pulse that Jack had ignited, back under control.

  Finally, Nick went to the door and opened it. “He’s gone. I’ll wait outside.”

  Thank goodness.

  Louella ignored him completely to say to me. “A glass of water?”

  “Sorry.” I grabbed a tumbler and poured her chilled water from the fridge. It wasn’t filtered, as she was probably used to, but better than straight out of the tap.

  When she’d taken a sip, she put the glass down and gestured for me to sit at the table.

  It was my apartment, but I felt like I was about to be interviewed, and that wasn’t the way I wanted this to go, so I remained where I was and said, “Who’s he?” gesturing at the now closed front door. For some reason I wanted that established first.

  “My bodyguard, as I imagine you’ve suspected. And before you ask,” She held up an immaculately manicured hand, “I’m perfectly safe. This is nothing to do with me. Marcus has gotten himself into some trouble and he’s concerned that the people he upset will come after me.”

  I blinked in shock, my own situation momentarily forgotten. Marcus—her soon to be ex-husband—was a banker. Not a mafia boss. “How is that possible?”

  Louella smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Marcus has been…reckless, of late. With money.”

  “Are you…?” I wasn’t sure how to ask, but she didn’t make it easy for me. She just sat there looking at me. “Are you okay, financially?”

  “Perfectly,” she said, and raised her chin, giving me what she probably thought was an imperious glance. For the first time in a very long time, however, there was something fragile behind it. “And in any case,” she glanced away, “I’m here to talk about you and Jack.” So she’d remembered his name from the television segment.

  And maybe that was easier. Later, when we’d hashed out my dramas, I could probe her situation again. “I’m not sure where to begin—”

  “You’ve slept with him. Several times I’m guessing.” She raised an eyebrow. “And you think you’re in love with him. But…?”

  Having friends who knew you inside out was fabulous, until it felt intrusive. But I’d asked for this. I needed to cope.

  “He told me he’s not married, but,” I frowned. “I’m pretty sure he has children with someone. I think he cheated on her, with me.”

  “You think. Have you checked?” She sounded so calm, so logical.

  And I felt suddenly stupid. “No.” I sat at the table where she’d told me to. “Is that easy to do?”

  “Nicholas?” In seconds he was back inside the door. “The man who was just here. Jack…?” She looked at me
.

  I squirmed. “He’s an Olympic medal-winning shooter…” How had I slept with a man when I didn’t know his surname? I felt like such a tramp. Super Slut.

  “He was on Sunshine with Angela this morning,” Louella said. “Find out if he’s in a relationship or has children please.”

  Nick nodded and pulled his phone out on the way back to the corridor. The door closed behind him and Louella turned back to me. “Do you love him?”

  I shook my head, but I was frowning. “How could I, when he cheated on someone with me?”

  “I’m not asking about your head. I’m asking about your heart.”

  Somehow I managed to hold her ice-blue gaze, even though I felt as if it was boring through my soul. I couldn’t stop myself nodding. “Yes.” There was no point in lying, especially to myself. “If he was free and asked me to marry him, I would, despite the fact that I think he’s too reckless to be a good father.”

  Her only reaction was a slight rise of one perfectly shaped brow. “Why do you love him?”

  I shrugged, not sure any of this would make sense. “I’ve never felt this way before. With anyone. About anyone. He makes me laugh and he also makes me…” Howl with pleasure. “We’re good together in bed.” I tried to ignore my hot cheeks. Louella wasn’t the person you talked to about sex. But it was an important component. “When I’m with him I feel…special. Desired. Protected.”

  “And suddenly that’s more important than children?”

  I stared back at her. “I don’t know. That’s why I rang you.”

  She gazed at me a moment longer. “When you’re with him, do you feel loved?”

  I shook my head. “He’s never said that.”

  She let a beat of silence go by before she said, “And men always say what they feel.” She had the perfect poker face. “Assuming they know what they feel, which is a whole other discussion.”

  She had a point. “He did say I was…” No, I couldn’t say that. Yes, I had to. “With me was the best sex he’d ever had.”

  She merely nodded at this embarrassing disclosure. “Is he thoughtful?”

  You come first. Every time. “Yes. Definitely. And jealous.”

  “Sounds like love.”

  We frowned at each other until Nick knocked and Louella said, “Come.”

  He stepped inside and shut the door, then started scrolling down his phone. “Jack Davenworth, eldest son of the family who own Daven Downs, eighth largest pastoral station in the country…”

  What?

  “…Silver medalist in the Rifle Three Positions category. Bronze medal in the—”

  Louella cut over him. “More personal detail, please.”

  Nick scrolled down. “Never married. No scandals on record. Dated various athletes, models, an actress, a rodeo trick-rider. Longest relationship lasted eight months and ended five years ago.”

  “Who was that?” I cut in. “Her name. Did they have children?”

  “Veronica Miller. Middle-school teacher. Now married with a three-year-old son.” He looked up from his phone. “Presumably not Jack’s”

  My heartbeat slowed. “Then who is Belle?” I turned to Louella. “Could Tug have made something up to—” I stopped and shook my head. “No wait. Jack said You’ve got no right to say that in front of other people. He didn’t deny it.”

  Louella was gazing at Nick. “Something else?” she asked. I turned to find him waiting, eyebrows raised. I was struck again by how self-contained he appeared.

  “Jack has two siblings. A brother Michael in the air force, and a sister. Isabelle.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  “Sister?” My voice was far too loud in the small room, but I couldn’t hide my shock as I stared from one to the other. “Belle is Jack’s sister?”

  “So it would appear.” Louella nodded for Nick to leave, and when we were alone again, she said. “It would also appear that you’ve assumed infidelity where none exists. Not surprising considering Danny’s behavior.”

  “But Jack isn’t like Danny.” They were sunlight and pond slime. Nothing alike. I could see that now, but as I shook my head again, desperate to turn back time, I realized I wasn’t completely to blame. “Why didn’t he just tell me?”

  She pursed her lips. “He appears to have discretion. Which I would imagine was a valuable trait in the partner of a celebrity.”

  It was a valuable trait, and when I remembered the video of us having sex—which I absolutely was not telling Louella about—I realized I’d already started to trust him. With sex. But why wasn’t I trusting him with my heart?

  I shook my head. “I’ve been terrible to him, and all he wanted to do was give me… Was…”

  All that amazing sex. Would I never experience it again?

  “Be that as it may,” Louella said, recapturing my attention. “That doesn’t solve the problem of you wanting to be a mother. And Jack…you said he was too reckless to be a good father.”

  Was that even true?

  “I’m not sure now.” I stared into her calm blue eyes. “About anything.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps if you dated him?” Then almost to herself, she muttered, “Although why you girls would do anything as mundane as dating, when there’s so much drama to be created with sex…”

  Her expression was prosaic as she waited, hands folded neatly—as always—on her lap. I stared at her, with no clue, until she said, “You love him. He’s clearly healthy if he’s an Olympic athlete. And from what I could ascertain, he’s well-spoken and articulate. Obviously the physical union is satisfactory,” she allowed herself the irony of lingering over that word. “And he comes from a wealthy family so he’d be a good provider. What else, exactly, do you need from a husband and father?”

  I struggled to remember. “I just…he’s a bit wild when we’re…alone together.”

  “You’re questioning his propriety?” I squirmed again, but Louella was relentless. “You heard Nicholas. No scandals on record. And because of his family’s position in society, he’d be under enough scrutiny to reveal reckless behavior. You on the other hand, were shouting in the corridor like a shrew when I arrived.” I blinked at her, shocked out of my self-righteous stance. “So if anyone is at risk of creating bad publicity—”

  “I meant, in front of the children,” I cut in, belatedly defending myself.

  She shook her head, her perfect bow mouth curved down at the edges. Then she said something I could never have anticipated. “Do you love Jill?”

  My breath caught in apprehension. Was she going to lay out some grievance? Ask me to take sides? “Of course I do.”

  “No matter what?”

  I nodded.

  “Then if she was to turn up at your home drunk, or swear in front of your children, or accidentally hurt their feelings, would you wish you’d never been her friend?”

  Life without Jill?

  It was such a horrible thought that I pressed fingertips against my lips, stung by the idea that I could ever wish our friendship away. My girls were my life. “Never,” I swore, fervently.

  “Then why do you expect so much more of Jack?” she said softly.

  I didn’t answer—because I’d never thought to put him in the same category as my friendships. Instead, I’d been completely unforgiving.

  Before I could formulate thoughts, however, she said, “Don’t expect more from him than you’d expect of us, and certainly not more than you’d expect of yourself. You’re not perfect, you know. So why should he be?”

  An image flicked into my mind of Jack holding me against the wall. He’d just thrust into me and caught his breath to say, Could you be any more perfect? The memory ached inside me, not only because it was the last time we’d had sex, but because he’d been thinking I was perfect, while I’d been thinking about every reason he wasn’t.

  I didn’t need to reframe my thoughts about Jack.

  I needed to let them go.

  Every one.

  I swallowed tight
ly, and nodded to myself. “I’ve been saying bad things about him to push him away from my heart.”

  “We all build barriers to protect ourselves.” She smiled then, one of the few self-deprecating smiled I’d ever seen from her. “I was wrong to advise Jill to give up on Finn. He did bring out the worst in her, but she needed that to come out so it could be healed.”

  I shook my head, not denying, just not wanting to believe I was acting out with Jack for selfish reasons.

  But Louella was relentless. “Danny broke your trust, the same way Jill’s father broke hers, and unfortunately there’s only so much that love from girlfriends can fix. Some wounds, only another man can uncover. Jill was fortunate that Finn stuck with her while she sorted herself out.”

  I nodded, not wanting to disclose the fact that Jill was far from sorted. And that made me wonder. Even if I could bring myself to trust Jack, to get into a relationship with him, would it go anywhere? Finn had known Jill was a keeper from the start. Jack, however, wanted nothing long-term.

  “I’m not sure if Jack will stick with me. He seems to only want a temporary relationship.”

  “So he says.” She raised an eyebrow. “But even if he’s not in love now, he may be in the future.” I was just digesting that when she added, “My mother only gave me one piece of bridal advice, and I give it to you now.” She looked me straight in the eye. “Keep his stomach and his loins satisfied, and ninety percent of your job is done.”

  I blinked, my mouth falling open in horror at the idea that Louella’s very proper mother would ever discuss men’s ‘loins’.

  But Louella merely nodded. “The only sexual conversation I ever had with her.”

  “Thank goodness.” I couldn’t imagine what other gems she might have come out with if she’d gotten on a roll. “So, happy loins and food.” I wasn’t used to discussing sex with Louella, so I wanted to make sure I hadn’t misread the instructions. But I couldn’t help adding, “Only, that didn’t work with Danny.”