Coffee and Conclusions

by Emma Sterner-Radley

  “Maybe us living in the same city was pushing it. The distance between Brooklyn and Philadelphia might be good for us. Fewer visits might make it easier for us both to accept my independence.” She turned to Erin. “Those visits obviously don’t have to include you, preciosa. You only have to come if you feel like it.”

  Erin smiled at her. “Where my girlfriend and lil’ man go, I go. Besides, I won’t have you gossiping about me behind my back.”

  The small relief made everyone laugh. The mood in the room had been as thick and ominous as storm clouds since Judith arrived.

  Marie cleared her throat. She’d been fidgeting for the last couple of minutes, as if she was keeping in a stream of words she had to unleash. “As someone who works with positive thinking, I really encourage the idea of mending your family relationships. There’s so much love at the bottom of this, and while that’s not always enough, it would be a waste to not try and tap into that great power. I’d recommend that you build the new foundations on honesty, respect, calm discussions, and less…stalking.” Marie looked at Judith as she spoke, and her mother bristled.

  “I would not have had to if you would have just told me the address when I asked you.”

  Marie snorted. “No way. I know what Isabella does to people who break her confidence.” She turned to Erin, raising her eyebrows. “I hope you know your lady can be, well, volatile.”

  That made Erin laugh. “I’m too cute for her to be volatile with me.”

  Grinning, Chris pitched in with, “Ha. I bet the two of you are going to have loads of fights. I know how stubborn you are, Er.”

  Isabella’s hand slid up and rested on Erin’s shoulder. “Stubborn or not, she’s perfect. Absolutely perfect for me.”

  As Isabella came closer, Alberto cooed. The tip of Erin’s braid fell out of his mouth, and Isabella grimaced at how soggy it was. Baby drool spilled onto Erin’s T-shirt under the braid.

  “Look at the mess you two have made,” Isabella chided. She grabbed Alberto and turned toward Marie to get her to hold him for a while.

  But her mother held out her arms. “Let me take him while you go get something to clean…Erin’s hair with,” Judith said.

  Isabella paused at the sign of burgeoning respect. That’s a good first step, at least. She’d better keep that up. She gently handed Alberto over to his grandmother, trying not to grin at the way Judith looked at Alberto and his drool-covered chin. Yes, her mother was making an effort, but she was still very clearly Judith Martinez.

  Isabella looked back at Erin, who was trying to investigate the damage to her soaked braid with a muttered “I think lil’ man might have eaten some of it. Is that bad for his tummy?”

  That was when Isabella realized that it didn’t matter just how much Judith Martinez her mother was, as long as her partner kept being this much Erin Black.

  Chapter 34

  Alberto

  Erin looked at Isabella, who crouched down to tie her sneakers.

  “Babe, I think it’s great that you’re getting back into running, but are you sure you should leave me alone with Alberto? It’s Sunday, and Erika isn’t working. She could babysit, and we could go running together.”

  “And have you constantly checking out my running style and shouting instructions? No, thanks. You and your insane level of fitness can stay here. You’ll be fine with Alberto. He’s been fed and changed, and he’s almost asleep already. You just have to rock him to sleep like you’ve done plenty of times before on your own. I’ll be back in half an hour, and if you really need me, just call my cell. I’ll come right back. Okay?”

  Erin nodded hesitantly, and Isabella gave her a one-armed hug before turning away to grab her headphones.

  Alberto was in Erin’s arms, his head drooping toward her chest. He really did look very comfortable snuggling up to her. It was so overwhelming and big and wonderful that Erin struggled to process the scene.

  Almost to herself, she said, “I can’t believe I’m someone’s stepmom.”

  Isabella hesitated before speaking. “You know, you’re raising him, and you’re his second parent. I don’t think he’ll see you as his stepmother; he’ll see you as his second mother.”

  Erin’s breathing grew rapid. She stared down at the drowsy baby with his pink cheeks and his slowly closing eyes. “I can’t be his mom. You’re his mom,” she whispered urgently.

  “Children with two female parents have two mothers. Alberto’s no exception.” Isabella gave her a calm smile. “It’s up to you. If you feel more comfortable calling yourself his stepmother, then go ahead, but I think he’ll see you as his second mother. I know I do.”

  Erin kept staring at the kid in her arms. Being a stepmom had already been a big step for her. Her pulse rate sped up. “Y-yeah. I suppose. Um, I’ll have to digest that one.”

  With her headphones in her ears, Isabella leaned over to kiss Erin on the cheek. “Of course. You digest, while I see how long I can run before my calves hate me. Call me if you need me, mi amor.”

  And then she was gone.

  Erin was left with Alberto growing heavier in her arms, as he gradually started to fall asleep. She put a pacifier in his mouth and gently rocked him. He grew heavier still, and his breathing slowed.

  He’s almost sleeping now. I’m doing pretty good.

  Obviously, that was tempting fate. A loud noise from the demolition crew across the street jolted him awake, and then he was crying. Erin’s blood froze. Chill, Black. You’ve calmed him down loads of times before.

  Still, when she put his pacifier in his mouth, he just spat it out again. No matter how she rocked him, hummed to him, or let him play with her hair—he still squirmed. And screamed.

  She knew he’d been fed just before Isabella left, so that couldn’t be the issue. Erin wondered if his stomach acid problem was flaring up again. To make things worse, the house phone started to ring. Erin rolled her eyes. She’d told Isabella they didn’t need a main line, that they’d be all right with just their cell phones, but Isabella had been adamant. And now the damn thing just kept ringing.

  Erin looked from the ringing phone to the wailing boy and decided just to answer the damn thing and shut it the hell up. She picked up the handset, fully expecting some insurance guy or Isabella’s agent. She had to get them off the phone quickly and figure out what to do with Alberto. But all thoughts of getting rid of the caller disappeared when he introduced himself as Alberto Martinez.

  For a millisecond, Erin’s stressed brain short-circuited. She was about to answer, “That’s impossible. He’s a baby and all he’s saying right now is WAAAAH. I know. I can hear him very clearly.”

  Then the penny dropped. Alberto Martinez Sr. was obviously calling to speak to Isabella. That made sense, Isabella had told her that he wasn’t fond of cell phones.

  “Hello, sir. Sorry about the noise. Alberto’s throwing a bit of a fit, and I’m on my own,” Erin shouted, as she tried again to rock the squirming baby.

  “Oh my! I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Uh, yeah.” Erin wondered how she could hang up without being impolite.

  “Sounds like he’s as stubborn as Isabella was. When she started up like that, she was almost impossible to soothe. She didn’t want food, toys, or distraction until she’d calmed down. There was only one trick that could quiet her. Oh, listen to me going on when you clearly need me to hang up so you can focus on the little prince.”

  Alberto’s tears spilled down his cheeks, and Erin felt like he’d hate her forever. On a practical level, she knew that a baby crying was a frequent occurrence. As soon as he was calm again, he’d forget all about it. But on an emotional level, she felt like she was failing him.

  “No, that’s all right. I’m, uh, I’m kinda in over my head here. Could you tell me what you did with Isabella when she was a baby?”

  “Of course. Ice,” Alberto
Sr. said happily.

  The world was suddenly much more overwhelming than it had any right to be. The noise was getting to her. “What? You put Isabella on ice?”

  “No, no, no. I used to take an ice cube and let her hold it in her little hand. If she wouldn’t hold it, I’d gently rub it on her lips. The cold surprised her out of her screaming fit. When she was distracted, I could offer her something, like looking out the window or playing with a favorite toy.”

  Erin struggled to make out his words over the screaming going on in her arms. Once she understood, she tried not to sound too skeptical. “You think that would work with Alberto?”

  “I don’t know. You could try it. I’ll hold on the line. If it doesn’t work, we can think of something else together. When babies are tired and cranky and start getting themselves worked up, they just can’t seem to stop again. They scream, and the screaming hurts, and then that makes them scream more. You need to break the cycle by diverting their attention, you see?”

  “Right. Um. Okay. I’ll try the ice. You sure you don’t mind waiting on the line?”

  “No, of course not. Hurry up and try it before you both lose your hearing,” he said calmly.

  Erin put little Alberto in his baby bouncer and rocked it so that he was moving. She fetched an ice cube and tried to put it in his hand. His hands stayed balled into fists and he waved them away from her.

  She gently slid the ice cube over his lips. He’d paused in his crying when she took the pacifier out and was just about to start into a new session, when he felt the ice. His eyes went wide, but he didn’t move his head away.

  Erin ran the dripping ice cube over his little mouth again. He still didn’t scream. He just looked very confused and stared at the ice cube. Erin felt a momentary reprieve from the panic.

  “Weird, isn’t it? Do you want to hold it, lil’ man? It’s all cold and slippery. Want it?”

  She held it close to his hand and pushed it against his fingers. He opened his hand slowly and took the ice cube. It looked so much bigger in his little fist. It was melting fast and slipped out of his hand. Erin was convinced he was going to start screaming again, but he just looked down.

  On impulse, Erin nudged the ice cube across the floor with her foot. Alberto watched it, and she took advantage of the moment to fetch the portable phone and hurry over to the freezer for another ice cube. By the time she got back to Alberto, he was trying to push himself out of the baby bouncer, probably to go chasing after the ice.

  She distracted him from his escape with the second cube, sitting with him as he explored and making sure he didn’t hurt himself. She took a deep breath and pinned the phone between her ear and shoulder.

  “Hey. You still there?”

  “Yes, Miss Black. I’m here. Sounds like my grandson is happier now.”

  Erin smiled. “Yeah. Phew. He seems to really like the ice. Thanks for the tip. From now on, I’ll do whatever baby tricks you suggest without asking questions. Oh, and call me Erin. I’ll just call you my freakin’ hero.”

  Alberto Sr. laughed. “No need for that. Being around a baby can be very frightening, especially when you are new to it. You feel like a fish out of water and so terrified of getting it wrong.”

  “Yeah, exactly! I’m just starting to get used to it. Man, I’m so grateful you helped me. Isabella went for a run, and I really wanted to give her a half hour to herself.”

  “She’ll be proud to see how well you solved the problem, Erin.”

  Erin scratched the back of her neck. “I didn’t. You solved it.”

  “No, no. I merely came up with a suggestion. You were the one who made it work. Don’t underestimate how much of dealing with babies is down to instinct and body language. You staying coolheaded will calm the baby.”

  “Thanks. That’s actually really reassuring to hear.”

  Erin took the ice cube away from Alberto when it had melted enough for him to fit it into his mouth. She might not be a baby expert, but she knew about the dangers of choking. She gave him back his pacifier, softly dried his tearstained cheeks, and leaned over so that he could play with her hair.

  She heard Alberto Sr. clear his throat and say, “Oh, don’t mention it. I want to help you and Isabella. And little Alberto, of course. I want us to be a family. I know you’ve met Judith and me.” When he picked back up the thread of his sentence, his voice sounded unsteady, “I don’t want you to assume I’m like her. She has her good sides and her bad ones, and…well… For all my faults, I’d like to think I don’t share hers.”

  “I know you don’t. Isabella has told me a lot about you. She really adores you, y’know?”

  “And I adore her.” His voice sounded thick, like it was too full of emotion. “I made mistakes while Isabella was growing up, and heaven knows so has Judith, but we both want to make amends and try to be the parents Isabella deserves.

  “That reminds me: I was actually calling Isabella to ask if she wanted me to come over and babysit one evening. You know, in case the two of you want to go out and celebrate the publication of her book?”

  “Wow. That’s a really nice offer. You sure, though? It’s a long drive.” Erin winced. Alberto had just tugged a little too hard on her hair. She loosened his grip a little, and he started clumsily rolling the hair between his fingers.

  “Not too long when it comes to seeing my little namesake. Besides, I can get a hotel room and drive back the next day or so. Have a little vacation away from…things.”

  Erin suppressed a chuckle. She had a feeling that she knew just who Alberto’s “things” were. “Okay, sure. That would be awesome. I’ll run it by the other half when she gets back.”

  “Splendid. Tell Isabella I said hello and that I miss and love her very much.”

  It warmed Erin’s heart, how effortlessly he expressed his affection. “Will do. Thanks again for the help with Alberto. We’re both very grateful.”

  “Don’t mention it. Feel free to call me if you want to tap into my limited experience at any point. Good-bye, Miss Bla—I mean, Erin.”

  “Bye, Alberto. Have a good one.”

  She hung up and smiled at the phone. She was glad to have a partner in crime when it came to the mysteries of babies, but she was even happier to be talking to someone who clearly loved Isabella and her son as much as she did. Her son. Isabella’s son and…

  My son.

  As she felt the grip on her hair loosen, she looked down at Alberto in his baby bouncer. He was falling asleep. The screaming fit had exhausted him.

  She sat down more comfortably and quietly hummed a lullaby, as she rocked the bouncer. Soon he was fast asleep, and she could breathe easily again. She picked him up carefully and carried him to his crib.

  He felt heavy in her arms and slept deeply against her shoulder. She’d never felt so important to someone before. It amazed her to realize that it wasn’t just scary, it was also a privilege. A privilege that Alberto and Isabella had given her.

  Pulling the blanket over him, Erin reveled in the sense of warmth and safety she got just from looking at him. She knew she was supposed to keep him safe, but somehow, just watching him made her feel more serene and safe. Her heartbeat slowed, and she smiled. Alberto made the house a home, without even trying. How could she not love him?

  Sighing happily, she heard Isabella’s key in the lock.

  She couldn’t wait to tell Isabella that she’d just overcome her first Alberto crisis without her there. She also couldn’t wait to tell her that they were getting a babysitter, guaranteeing a date night to celebrate Isabella’s book launch next week. But most of all, she couldn’t wait to tell Isabella that her father loved her so damn much. And he wasn’t the only one.

  Chapter 35

  Epilogue

  On a late Friday evening, when winter was creeping into New York through chilly winds, three people were cuddled up on a sofa.
Erin had spent the afternoon with her accountant, who told her the gym was doing better than ever. Isabella had been plotting out a book about her experiences in the catering industry. And Alberto had said his first word that morning and had known its meaning. This won him great popularity, since the word was Mamá. The feat was even more popular, because he had said it to Erin. Isabella was sitting in the corner of the sofa with Alberto half-asleep in her arms. Erin rested against her shoulder and draped her long legs across the rest of the sofa.

  Isabella kissed her girlfriend’s hair and thought about how far they’d both come. Yes, Erin still had long periods of being asocial, and yes, Isabella was still snarky and quick-tempered. But she was glad they were still themselves. What had changed was the loneliness, the hopelessness, and the feeling of going through the motions they’d once felt.

  Nothing was perfect, but everything was so much better than it had been before the night she saw a message from a stranger on Twitter. Now their lives were filled with nice, normal days, interspersed with moments of excitement and joy that felt like a shot of brandy right in the heart. It was like nothing Isabella had ever experienced and much better than any fairy-tale ending she’d ever heard of.

  The sound of branches tapping urgently against the window woke her from her reverie. The wind was picking up, and Isabella wondered if a storm was on its way. It didn’t matter. They were safe and warm where they were.

  Unsure if Erin was asleep, she whispered her name. “Erin?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you ever think about how lucky we are that we found each other?”

  Erin’s sigh sounded happy, and she nuzzled into Isabella’s hair. “Yep. ‘Disgustingly lucky,’ Riley says. She’s got a point. We couldn’t possibly ask for more. Except…”

  Isabella looked down at what she could see of Erin’s face, worried that Erin was missing something in her life. “Except what?