Escaping Trouble

by Dee Bridle

  I paused mid-chew as a buried memory crept into the dark recesses of my mind. I felt the blood rush in my ears. I couldn’t freak out here. Please. No.

  My skin tingled and my lip trembled, preparing for me to vomit. The memories refused to disappear as I remembered him. On the outside, he looked to be a successful and caring man, while the real darkness was kept hidden deep inside. I had been the unlucky one to see the mean, sadistic, and angry soul that he hid inside. My heart raced as I remembered his voice, the sickly sweet murmurs that turned to forced whispers. The grunting, the forcing…

  A chair scraped next to me and made me jump. The cafeteria felt too bright all of a sudden.

  “Earth to Ivy,” laughed Craig as he got up to greet a friend behind him.

  Ava looked at me closely and whispered, “Hey, you okay?”

  I blinked as the cafeteria noises began returning.

  “Yep,” I muttered.

  I wanted to get up and run, but I took another bite of my wrap, forcing myself to stay calm. It was all too loud, and I concentrated on calming my racing heart. People shouted out to each other and chairs were noisily pushed back and forth, as the blood pounded loudly in my ears. I tried to swallow the mouthful of food and felt my throat close up.

  I was going to choke.

  Ava would think I was a whack job. I needed to get the hell out of here. Now I was suddenly caring what they all thought of me, and it was the reason why I didn’t want friends here. This is what happened when I steered off my direct path. Feelings and memories happened. It just hurt too fucking much to do this. I felt Ava still next to me, the concern coming off her in waves, and I knew I couldn’t deal with it. I needed to put a stop to all of this, right now. I put my roll down and looked to the exit.

  Familiar eyes across the cafeteria suddenly connected with mine, and I paused.

  Noah stood near the exit, apparently in a conversation with another guy, but his gaze didn’t move from where I sat. He took a sip of his drink, his eyes still on me as the guy continued to talk beside him. He didn’t look away from me, and I felt like I was caught in a trance.

  Without warning, he smiled at me, and I found myself still not able to look away. The darkness and panic was forgotten for that split second, and it felt…nice.

  “So, Ivy, there is a party this weekend. We should go,” said Craig re-joining the table and blocking the view of the exit.

  Without understanding myself, I quickly moved to look behind him, only to see Noah had gone. Had I just imagined that he was there? I really was turning into a whack job.

  “Hello? Party? Are you coming with me?” asked Craig.

  I grabbed my bag and glanced at Ava, saying, “I’ve gotta go.”

  Ava nodded, and replied, “Me too.”

  “What about the party?” grinned Craig, grabbing my hand before I left the table.

  I looked down at his hand and quickly pulled away.

  “Look, you seem nice, but I’ll never fuck you, so don’t waste your time.”

  Craig looked taken back for a moment, and then he laughed and said, “I like you.”

  “Well, don’t,” I said as I walked away, feeling Ava following behind me.

  “Brilliant,” she said, smiling, as we made it outside. “That was just perfect.”

  “Just being honest,” I said.

  “So, do you work at the bar every night?” she asked, walking along beside me.

  I nodded, not giving her anything else. I know she was trying to be nice to me, but it still didn’t make any sense.

  “I love your tatts, by the way,” she said next.

  I looked down at my arms, remembering the year that I did everything to change my body from the one I had known when I was younger.

  “Thanks,” I said, wondering if she was also heading to the library.

  I tried my hardest to think of something to say, even though it was almost foreign to have a friendly chat these days for me.

  “Do you have any?”

  She nodded and said, “Four now. Zac’s covered in them, just like Noah.”

  “So, they’re friends?” I asked.

  Get your mind off Noah! Don’t ask questions.

  “Best friends,” she said, smiling.

  “And Craig?”

  “Oh, he’s just a classmate of mine, really. Zac hates him. Noah barely tolerates him,” she said with a smile. “So, if you want to meet for lunch again tomorrow, I’ll be here around 12:30.”

  I didn’t answer.

  “I’ll give you my number if you change your mind.”

  I got my phone and recorded her number and noticed she didn’t ask for mine. I almost liked that she wasn’t pushing the friendship thing too hard. Maybe I wouldn’t turn up tomorrow, or maybe I would.

  “Well, I’ve got to get to class. See you around.”

  I nodded and watched her walk away, disappearing into the crowd of students. It was a sunny day, and everyone seemed to be out enjoying the sunshine.

  I headed to the library again, knowing I had a free afternoon before my shift at the bar. Time to do one of my assignments and not think about Ava and friendships.

  As soon as I was finally engrossed in my assignment, I felt my skin prickle with awareness. I stopped reading and looked up to see Noah across the library. He was carrying his backpack and walking with a girl who seemed to be very excited that he was with her. She was doing all the talking as they walked further into the library, away from me. He hadn’t seen me, and I went back to my assignment.

  I couldn’t stop myself from glancing up every once in a while, waiting for him to reappear and leave. I was left wondering if they were still looking at books, twenty minutes later. My assignment sat unfinished, purely from my lack of focus, and it annoyed the hell out of me.

  “Working hard?”

  I jumped at the voice behind me and spun around in my chair to see Noah standing there. My elbow knocked a book off the desk and it fell to the floor with a thump.

  “Didn’t mean to scare you that much,” he said with a chuckle as he crouched down and grabbed it before I could.

  His eyes pierced into mine as he passed it back to me.

  “Thanks,” I said taking it from him and looking away.

  He stayed crouched in front of me, his eyes continuing to assess me.

  “Your lip is looking better,” he said quietly.

  I turned back around and faced the computer. I couldn’t deal with his perceptive, beautiful brown eyes on me. I had also detected a tone of care in his voice that was foreign to me, and I couldn’t cope with that either.

  “My lip is fine,” I said curtly.

  He stood up and then sat on the desk next to mine, casually crossing his ankle over the other one. He wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

  “I see you had lunch with Ava.”

  He was close to me, too close for me to actually think straight. I refused to look up at him, so I concentrated on his muscled arm beside me. Bad idea.

  “We shared a table,” I returned non-committedly.

  I heard him chuckle softly as he folded his arms. I watched the action, not understanding my new fascination with muscled tattooed arms all of a sudden. He had an intricate symbol that wrapped around his arm, and I wanted to know what it represented. Focus, damn it! I looked back at the computer, the cursor blinking, waiting for my words.

  “You might want to stay clear of Craig. He’s a douche,” he said next.

  “I’m good at detecting douches and smart enough to make my own decisions,” I returned without looking at him.

  I could feel him smile next to me.

  “Have you decided what I am yet?”

  I opened my mouth to answer and then paused. I hadn’t. But I already knew he wasn’t a douche.

  A sweet female voice floated up behind me.

  “Ready to go, Noah?”

  His relaxed stance didn’t change, but I heard a slight sigh before he said, “Yep, let’s go.”

  “Go
od, I need to get out of here,” said the blonde bimbo next to him as she touched his arm.

  I didn’t want to be jealous of her fingers right now. I clearly needed to get a grip. They needed to get away from me and be together and do whatever the hell they were meant to be doing. I focused on the same blinking cursor on the screen.

  He suddenly leaned in to me, making our interaction together intimate. I could smell something wonderful coming from him and forced myself to not close my eyes and get lost in it.

  “Well?” he asked huskily. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  I took a short breath and turned to meet his eyes, our noses almost touching. We were too close, but I suddenly didn’t want to move away.

  I heard a loud sigh come from the blonde bimbo. Patience was obviously not one of her strengths. I saw a muscle twitch in his jaw, but his eyes were still on me, waiting for my answer.

  “I’m undecided,” I responded quietly.

  His lips curved into a smile at my response, his eyes warm as they drank me in.

  “I can deal with that,” he said before standing up and then walking away.

  My heart was racing. Our faces were almost touching one minute, and the next he was gone. Totally annoyed at my reaction to him, I peered over my computer to see him walking out of the library, the blonde bimbo at his heels.

  I leaned back in my chair, looking over at the now closed doors. My heart was still racing, and I could feel my lips inadvertently curl slightly. I guess it was the beginning of a smile, and it felt foreign on my face. It was something I hadn’t done in a very long time.

  * * *

  I went home that night after my shift at the bar to a thankfully empty apartment. Wherever my mother and Rick were, they were not home and that was a good thing for me.

  By the next morning, I was determined to not allow myself to think of Noah. I didn’t let people in and let them make me smile. When I opened myself to people, they became a part of my life, adding their wants and expectations. Whatever was starting to light up between us, needed to be snuffed out quickly. I didn’t want to talk or play games. I didn’t want any of it. I kept clear of the cafeteria at lunchtime and ignored my rumbling stomach.

  We crossed paths that afternoon, walking in opposite directions to our classes. I had seen him coming towards me, but kept my head down. I wasn’t so lucky in bypassing Craig.

  “Hey, Ivy,” he said, stopping in front of me.

  “Hey,” I said, trying to walk around him.

  “So, about that party,” he said, moving into my way again.

  “I’m not going to the party with you,” I said with a frustrated sigh.

  “Why not? I promise it will be fun,” he said with a wink.

  “No thanks,” I said, moving out of his way and straight into Noah.

  “Craig,” greeted Noah with a surly tone, as he set his eyes on me.

  “Noah,” returned Craig in greeting.

  “Haven’t you got some cheerleaders somewhere to impress?” asked Noah, his eyes still on me.

  Craig laughed and then stopped, seeing that Noah wasn’t laughing with him. He looked to me and then to him, his eyes narrowing when he took in Noah’s glare. He was being silently warned off.

  There was too much testosterone flying around for my liking and I shook my head. I knew Craig was a douche, but I didn’t need Noah to come and save me like I was some hapless fool. Or did I? If I had to be honest, a small part of me was secretly enjoying being protected. But I soon ignored that feeling and completely shut it down.

  “Maybe you can both go and impress some cheerleaders,” I said, going around them and continuing on my way to class.

  “So I’ll pick you up at eight then? Or do you want to meet there?” shouted Craig.

  I bit back a retort and continued walking. I was not going to get into this. I heard the thump of books falling and turned back to see Noah walking away while Craig crouched down to pick his things up.

  * * *

  That night, I pulled beers for the locals and went about my business. There was no live act tonight, so business was slow. Glory went home early with a headache, but I didn’t mind staying until closing time. I looked around the small bar and took a breath. I belonged here, even if it was for only five hours a night. There was something old and trustworthy about the worn carpets and the poster decorated walls.

  Later that night, I was pleased to see that my mother and Rick were still not home. I locked the front door and dropped into my sleeping bag and fell asleep thinking of Noah, Ava, possible friendships, and how doomed everything seemed to be.

  By the next morning, I was awakened by a loud bang and laughter. I scrambled out of the sleeping bag, still dressed, ready for anything. My door was shoved open, and I looked into an unfamiliar face. He had a shaved head with tattoos all over it.

  He was suddenly grinning as he said, “Looky what we have here.”

  Panic made my heart stop completely, and I tried to run past him. He grabbed me and pulled me back roughly. I tried to get out of his hold, but he held me tight.

  “Where’s Rick?” he asked, using his other hand to squeeze my bottom.

  I could smell his foul cigarette and beer breath and tried not to choke.

  “I don’t know.”

  “I think you’re lying,” he said, pulling me closer.

  I yelped as he groped me harder, and then I took a swing at him. My fist connected with his jaw, and he pulled back slightly, more in surprise than in pain.

  “You stupid bitch,” he growled, shoving me back hard.

  I fell back onto the floor as another guy came in.

  “Place is empty.”

  “Go through her stuff,” said the shaved head guy looming over me with anger in his eyes.

  He leaned down and grabbed me by the hair, pulling me up to my knees.

  “I’m going to have some fun with this one, first,” he said with an evil smirk, pulling his zipper down.

  I growled in despair and anger and went to punch him in the groin. He blocked me and then hit me across the face with a maniacal laugh.

  “You’re going to enjoy what I have for you.”

  “I’ve got some cash, but that’s it,” said the other guy finding my only secret stash in my book.

  “No!” I screamed.

  It was all I had.

  Another voice said, “We found him over at John’s. Let’s go.”

  “I’m not done yet,” grunted shaved head guy, gripping my wrists so hard that it felt like the bones were snapping.

  “Let’s fucking go,” said the voice.

  “Fuck,” said shaved head, letting me go before grabbing me around the neck and squeezing hard.

  My eyes opened wide as I tried not to choke.

  “I’ll be back for you. Rick needs to start paying his debts, bitch.”

  The other guy pocketed all of my money and left the room. The shaved head guy shoved me to the floor as he followed the other guy out the door. I listened for them to leave completely and then fell on the dirty carpet in a ball of choking sobs. I touched my sore neck, trying to breathe properly. I rubbed at my sore wrists and my tingly cheek. Then I looked at my possessions thrown around the room. They took all of my money, and now I was left with nothing. I cried harder at the unfairness of my life.

  Noah

  I pulled up into the college car park and cut the Jeep’s engine. I grabbed my phone and bag and then spotted Ivy in the distance. I quickly locked up and headed over in her direction, not having seen her at all yesterday.

  “Ivy!” I called out.

  She walked with purpose and had either not heard me or had decided to ignore me.

  I caught up to her and said, “Hey.”

  She didn’t look at me, her pace speeding up.

  Right. She was back to ignoring me then.

  “Still listening to boy bands then,” I stated, still following her and hoping humor would help again.

  “Fucking leave me alone,”
she said irritably, hiding her face altogether and walking faster.

  I stopped in surprise. Wow. She was pissed. I watched her disappear around the corner out of my sight and wondered if it was best that I left her alone this time. She wasn’t in the mood for me today that was for sure. Common sense had never been my strong point though, so I continued in the same direction.

  She had disappeared to the back of one of the main buildings, and I nearly stumbled over her as I saw her sitting on the ground before me. She was up against the brick wall, hugging her knees with her head down.

  In that split second, I knew humor wouldn’t help in this situation.

  “What’s going on?” I asked quietly, crouching down in front of her.

  She didn’t answer, her head still buried and covered by her long red hair. I waited, crouched in front of her, letting her silently know that I wasn’t going anywhere.

  She then sniffed and pleaded, “Can you please just leave me alone?”

  I heard the resignation in her voice, along with the emotion and my heart went out to her.

  “I can’t leave you like this,” I murmured, going to touch her arm but then thinking better of it.

  Fuck. What could I do? It felt like I was about to diffuse a bomb.

  “Believe me, it’s better if you do,” she muffled next, with another sniff.

  “Let me be the judge of that,” I returned, watching her closely, hearing her quivering voice.

  I’d never seen her…emotional, only angry and distant.

  I moved to sit down next to her, against the brick wall, but I was careful not to touch her. I leaned my arms on my knees and looked around, seeing the small patch of grass and the boundary fence. No one seemed to come back here, and I imagined her spending time here to keep away from everyone. I heard her sniff again and wondered what to say. I got out my packet of cigarettes from my pocket and silently offered them to her.

  She lifted her head slightly to look at them and then took one.

  I took in her tear stained face as I flicked the lighter on for her. The sight of a new bruise around her eye and down her cheek made me inhale sharply. I glanced over the rest of her body to check for other bruises or cuts. My eyes stopped on the heavy bruises on her wrists, and I was inflamed with anger. I didn’t say anything as I watched her smoke, careful on how to react to what I was seeing. She was holding her left wrist funny, and she winced as she rested it back on her knees. I’d kill the fucker.