The Hard To Love series

by T A. McKay

  Head down, I walk quickly to the front of the club. I pass Bruno and wave as I exit the front doors. I would have gone out the back but I hate walking through the alleyway. It wouldn’t be the first time I have attempted to escape that way and come face to face with a fan from the club. I don’t mind seeing the other things that go on there, the random people hooking up, but the people waiting there for me freak me out. That’s why I go out the front, because at least I have Bruno there to protect me if anyone is there, like he’s had to do in the past. Some of the guys get a little, lets just say, over excited when they see me up there, and they feel they have a right to touch you. That’s why Bruno was overprotective that night with Trey, he genuinely worries about my safety working here. He thinks I'm too innocent, that I don’t belong in Crave.

  The night is really cold and I tighten my coat around my body to block out the cool breeze that’s blowing. Pulling the collar up around my neck, I shiver when another gust of wind catches me. It feels like it could snow, and I hope it doesn’t come until the end of December. The city comes to a standstill as soon as the snow gets bad, making it impossible to get anywhere. I love winter, but I hate it when the weather gets too bad and I need to leave the apartment.

  I try to fill my mind with anything other than what’s happening in the club, about what Trey and his friend might be up to in there. I don’t want to think about Trey’s mouth touching another guy, a guy he might take home and do to him the things I want only for me. It hasn’t taken me long to become addicted to Trey. To his touch, the way he tastes, the way he takes control of me, those are things I don’t think I will be able to live without now, and he's giving them to someone else.

  I reach my car in the darkened parking lot and take a moment to stand, just enjoying the quiet. After the loud music of the club, the quiet drone of the traffic is soothing. Finally deciding that I need to get home and get drunk, I unlock my car and open the back door. I remove my coat and throw it onto the seat. No matter how cold it is I can’t drive with it on, hating the restricted feeling of wearing it. I slam the door, finally letting a little of my frustrations out. Just as I'm reaching for the front door handle, a strong hand grabs the back of my neck, pushing me roughly into the side of my car. I prepare myself for a fight, but when a large body presses against the back of mine I know exactly who it is instantly and I still, relaxing into his hold. No matter what just happened in the club I feel safe with Trey, his power giving me confidence to let him take over. When hot breath meets my ear I try to mentally prepare myself for what’s he's about to say. Knowing it’s over between us is one thing but to hear him speak the words is something completely different.

  “That was some fucking show you put on in there, Romeo.” My name is said on a growl, and I try not to let it affect me but it’s a losing battle with my body.

  “Care to tell me what the fuck that was all about? Why you cheapened yourself by showing what is mine?”

  His? He thinks I'm his when he parades another guy around in front of me. I don’t know what he got up to in his past relationships, but I don’t share. If he wants me then he’ll have only me.

  “What is it to you? It’s not like you have any claim on me. I'm just a toy for you to play with when needed.” The grip on my neck vanishes and I'm turned quickly before being pushed back against the car. If I thought Trey was angry before I was wrong. That was nothing compared to the man I see in front of me. The fire in his eyes looks bright enough to burn through anyone who’s unlucky enough to have it aimed at them, and I'm that unfortunate person.

  “I have no claim on you? I think you’re very much mistaken, Roman. I have every claim on you. You. Are. Mine! I thought we’d already discussed this?” His hand comes up and wraps around my throat. It’s not painful, and not done in anger, but the pressure lets me know that he isn’t messing about with me. He’s keeping a tight hold on his emotions, and I don’t know how much longer that will last.

  “That might have been the case before, but not anymore. You don’t like other men looking at what’s yours, well I don’t like seeing you bring your other conquests to my fucking club.” I spit the words at him angrily, determined to let him know how I'm feeling, but the look of confusion on his face has my anger faltering. The grip on my throat slackens slightly and I instantly miss it. It feels like he's letting me go.

  My panic recedes quickly as his hand comes up and cups my jaw. “Other conquests? I haven’t slept with anyone in that club apart from you. What are you talking about?” I take a minute to look at him, my own confusion joining his. I know what I saw in there.

  I look down, unable to look at him any longer. “The guy you brought. I know we aren’t exclusive but I don’t need to see you with someone else.” My voice sounds weak and hesitant, and I hate that it does. I wanted to sound strong and show him that he can’t push me around, but my heart is hurting too much to hide.

  “Baby?” The hand on my jaw lifts my eyes to his, and the smile he has nearly stops my breath. I can’t help the tear that runs down my cheek, the sudden fear of losing this man in front of me is overwhelming.

  “That’s Nathan, he’s my best friend. He came with me tonight to see the guy who I can’t stop talking about. He's here to see you, you idiot. He’s never seen me like this with someone before and he wanted to make sure you actually existed.”

  Now my heart stops. He’s never hinted that he liked me as anything more than someone who can show him pleasure. The other day at work I thought that maybe he was feeling something more, but after not hearing from him all week, I thought I was simply seeing things that weren’t there. When we have sex we come together with so much passion and desire, I was obviously wishing I could see that between us at all times. I was sure that the moment at work was simply a bad judgment moment, but with his words now I have hope that maybe there could be more for us.

  “Your best friend?”

  He leans into me and, with a gentleness he's never shown before, he takes my lips in a loving kiss. The softness of his touch muddles my brain, leaving me open to anything he wants from me.

  “My best friend, nothing more.” He breathes the words against my lips and my now fully erect cock pushes against him, making me groan at the pressure.

  “That’s good.” It’s the only thing I can think to say. Being so close to him always leaves me struggling to think, and tonight it’s worse than normal. After all the emotions I've been through in such a short space of time, my brain is struggling to cooperate.

  “No, it’s not good. What you did in there isn’t acceptable to me, Roman.” The use of my real name takes me by surprise. This isn’t keeping our professional and private lives separate. “You showed an entire room of guys, one of which is my best friend, your body. That kind of thing doesn’t make me happy in the slightest.”

  I swallow the little trickle of fear that his words bring. It isn’t a fear of him hurting me, but the fear of wondering how this is going to play out, and from the look in his eye it’s going to be a long night.

  It takes everything I have not to lean in and run my tongue over his throat when he swallows. His Adam’s apple bobs as his breath falters and I want to feel it move. I put my hand back on his throat and apply just enough pressure so he knows how serious I'm being.

  When I arrived tonight I was actually really excited that Nathan was there with me. I wanted him to see Roman dance, I thought it would make it easier for Nathan to see why I was falling for him. When he took the stage I could feel the pride flooding through my body and I leaned into Nathan to tell him that that was my guy up there. I couldn’t even get my eyes to leave Roman as I spoke. He has this way of always demanding my attention, even when he isn’t trying to.

  Nathan told me he could see the attraction, and that if I thought Roman would be interested in a threesome with a girl he knows he could make it happen. It took everything in me not to punch him right there and then. I know he was just trying to get a reaction from me, and I would have gl
adly given him it if Roman hadn’t started fucking stripping. He always swore he would never take his clothes off, that he was only there to dance, so you can imagine my surprise when his hands went to underwear. The anger and possessiveness I felt shocked me and I wanted nothing more than to storm the stage and drag him off by the hair.

  When I shook my head he paused his movements and I hoped that he had changed his mind, but I wasn’t that lucky. His underwear hit the floor and Nathan had to physically put his hand on my shoulder to keep me in my seat. If he hadn’t I would have killed half the audience who were screaming at Roman, trying to grab his attention so he would go to them. Thankfully he grabbed his clothes and ran from the stage.

  Now, with his admission that he thought that I was there with Nathan on a date, I can understand why he did it. It won’t stop him from getting the punishment that’s coming his way, no, that’s still happening.

  “Nothing to say to me?” I keep my words hard, not showing how much he hurt me in there. I will let the anger mask the searing pain that ripped through my heart when he shared himself with those guys. I nearly let him walk away, let him prove yet again why I don’t trust anyone, but I needed to tell him how I felt. I knew if we were going to work in the same office after tonight I needed to tell him he had pissed me off. What I hadn’t expected was my own pain mirrored back at me. That’s why I paused, let him say what was on his mind, and thank god I did.

  “I'm sorry, Sir.”

  I can’t help rocking my cock against him, and I know he must feel it the way we are pressed together. “That’s not enough. You have a lot to make up for, and you're coming home with me tonight.”

  He shivers against me and I don’t know if it’s the anticipation of what’s coming or the cold evening. I suddenly realize, now that my anger has faded, that he's standing out here in just a t-shirt, and no matter how much of my body is pushing against him he must be freezing. Shit. I can’t believe I let my anger take over and now he's suffering.

  “Shit, are you cold, baby?”

  He blinks a few times and I don’t blame him. The sudden change in conversation would throw anyone, but I need to make sure he's okay. A small smile turns up the corner of his lips and I know it’s because I called him baby… again. The first time I hoped he hadn’t noticed, but this time he definitely did.

  “Baby?”

  I return his smile even though I don’t want to. “Get in the fucking car.”

  When he turns and grabs the handle of his own car, I cover his hand with mine. Leaning in I speak quietly into his ear. I know the words I'm about to say will cause so much anticipation in Roman, and that’s what he loves. He loves the buildup, the slow burn that only comes when you know what’s coming your way.

  “Not this one. Get in my car and don’t speak. When we get to my house you will walk to my bedroom, undress and kneel by the bed. Wait for me there until I tell you what to do next. And Roman,” I pause as I wait for him to look at me. “Prepare yourself.”

  Chapter 16

  I bury my nose into Trey’s chest and inhale deeply. There is just something about the way he smells that seems to settles my soul. The arm that he has around me tightens and I feel him kiss the top of my head. Cuddled up in his bed together is the last place I thought we would end up tonight. I had had visions of me lying alone with a bottle of wine in my hand, but this is so much better.

  “How’re you feeling?” My hair moves with his breath as he speaks against my head.

  I lean my chin on his chest and look up into his now warm eyes. All traces of his earlier anger have disappeared, and as wrong as it sounds, I miss it a little. I like this Trey though, the caring one that needs to make sure I'm comfortable with whatever we’ve done. My ass cheeks tingle with the thought of what he did to me, the handprints that I know are there keeping my whole body warm. When he said he was going to punish me I didn’t realize he’d meant it. He’s spanked me lightly a couple of the times we’ve been together but tonight felt different, tonight felt like a punishment. His smacks were harder, overlapping more, causing me to bite my lip so I didn’t cry out. When he took me afterwards he dug his fingers deep into my cheeks, creating fire that spread through my body. I would like to pretend I hated it, that he had hurt and humiliated me, but truthfully, I loved every single second of it.

  “I don’t know if I’ll be able to sit down for a while, but I'm good.”

  The side of his mouth twitches up and I simply stare, loving how he looks in this moment. He’s relaxed and settled, and in this moment he doesn’t look like the busy lawyer who’s taking on the world.

  “Just good?”

  I let my hand drift over his chest and his skin is smooth under my fingers, but his muscles are so hard. They make such an amazing combination that I just can’t keep my hands off him. “Maybe a little better than good. Are you looking for a compliment, Sir?” I love the fire that that word always brings to Trey’s eyes. It’s like it awakens the beast that normally lays dormant inside him, and the thought of him letting that beast loose on me makes my whole body tingle.

  His hand comes up and grabs my jaw, pulling me to his lips. His kiss is gentle, and I'm beginning to really like this side of Trey. It is in complete contrast to the side I usually see, and it makes my insides turn to mush. His thumb strokes the side of my face as his tongue gently makes love to my mouth. We’ve just spent the last few hours pleasuring each other, coming more times than I thought was possible, but still his tongue makes me want more. I can’t help it when my dick starts to stiffen against his leg.

  “Already?”

  I laugh before lying down on his chest again, enjoying the content feeling I have. “Not even close. It might be twitching but there is no feeling there … and I need at least eight liters of water to replenish the fluid you took.” I feel his chest vibrate under my cheek as he laughs at my comment.

  “You did well to keep up. I thought I lost you after your second orgasm. The way your eyes rolled back into your head, it looked like you’d passed out.”

  I know exactly what moment he means, and my eyes had rolled because I had lost all control over my body. When my orgasm hit, my cock in his mouth and his finger inside me, and it felt like my soul had been catapulted into the heavens. I saw stars and I'm pretty sure I could hear angels singing as I floated. It had taken me so long to come back down to earth, and when I had Trey was lying over me with a shit-eating grin on his face. It actually looks a lot like the one he has now.

  “Not that I want to give you a big head, but I'm pretty sure I saw heaven.”

  His fingers trail over my spine, causing my body to shiver in pleasure. “It was pretty good.” He's using my own words back at me, and I can’t help but smile. I think this is the first time that we have just been together, just enjoying being in each other’s company, and I don’t want it to ever end.

  “I'm just glad you're so young. It means you have a chance to keep up with me.” I feel his chest vibrate under me and I look up at him through my lashes, enjoying the smile he has on his face as he chuckles.

  “I'm not that young.”

  He raises his eyebrows at me, and I wonder if he really knows how old I am.

  “So tell me, how old are you, Grampa?”

  I feel his fingers dig into my underarm and I can’t help the squeal that leaves me, making me sound even younger than I am. I have always known that Trey was older than me, but it’s not something that’s bothered me. I wouldn’t care if he was twenty years older than me, the way he makes me feel makes up for everything.

  “You tell me your age first, then I will tell you if it doesn’t make me sound too much like a dirty old man.”

  I'm surprised he doesn’t know my age. He could check my employee file at any time to get all the information he wants, but that would only be if he wanted to take the time to find out about me.

  “You do know you could have just checked my file, the one I know you must have access too.”

  He rubs his han
d over my back, the movements relaxing me even more as I lean back onto his chest. “Where’s the fun in that? I actually didn’t want to check because then I would know how young you really are, and then I couldn’t lie to myself that I wasn’t chasing a really young guy.”

  Thankfully I look younger than I am, so I'm not worried about him freaking out when I tell him my actual age. I seem to be attracted to older men, and my younger looks have caused problems in the past.

  “I'm twenty-four, so you don’t have to worry. I know I look about twenty but I swear I'm older than most people think.” I lean up on my elbows, bringing my face level with Trey’s as I speak to him. “Now I just need to know how old you are, old man. Come on, give up the goodies.”

  He closes his eyes, and I'm just about to lean in and kiss his inviting lips when he speaks. “I'm old enough to know that I shouldn’t be lying here with you. Shit, why do I always seem to fall for the young ones?”

  I don’t know what he’s worrying about, I don’t know his actual age but he doesn’t look much older than twenty-eight, and he has a body of a twenty year old. I give in to my needs and lower my mouth to his, whispering against them to ask him again. “Spill it.”

  He deepens the kiss, his tongue wetting my bottom lip before he pulls it into his mouth. I know he's trying to distract me and I allow it for a few minutes before I pull back, putting some distance between us.

  “I'm thirty-two.” His words are quiet against my lips, and his breath teases over them. I'm a little shocked at his age, only because he looks nowhere near that.