The Hard To Love series

by T A. McKay

  “What the fuck is your problem?” I decide that we need to just get on with this. I have a sexy guy in my office that needs me, so I refuse to spend more time here than needed. I see him bristle at my words, knowing that the fact that I'm swearing at him will throw him off. He hates it when he gets spoken to like that, always claiming that smart people don’t need to use that sort of language to make their point. Well I have news for him, he's about to find out how much bad language a smart person can use.

  “He was found in your office, Trey. You know that is a serious offence in this practice, you made the rule yourself.” His words come out loud, but that doesn’t hide the fact I can hear his voice shake as he speaks. And he's right, I did make the rule about no one being in the partners’ offices, but he is twisting it and he knows it.

  “He has permission to be in there, I told you that on the phone. There’s absolutely no need for me to be here, and there’s no fucking need for you to berate Roman like that. That shit isn’t on. That was for your enjoyment only and you know it.”

  The color in his cheeks shows me that I'm right, the sick fuck has something against Roman and I need to find out what.

  “Then why couldn’t he tell me why he was there? If it were Quincy in your office you wouldn’t be happy. You would demand that he was fired, even with permission.” He doesn’t know it but mentioning Quincy today isn’t going to help his case at all.

  “There’s the difference, Quincy would never have permission to be in my office. He has no need to be in there, and I don’t want him in my personal areas.” I move closer to Roger, enjoying the nervous look he gets in his eyes as I close the distance between us. At least he’s sensible enough to know that he’s in deep shit with me.

  I keep my voice low and even, trying to hide the urges I have flowing through my body, the ones that are telling me just to hit him and be done with it. “What’s your problem with Roman? What has he ever done to you for you to hate him?”

  His eyes flickering away from me tells me I'm onto something. There’s something here and I will find out what it is. “I don’t have a problem with Roman, I'm his boss and nothing more.” His voice doesn’t sound as confident as it did before but it doesn’t ease my anger any. One thing I hate is a liar.

  “That’s bullshit and you know it. Not once have you shown him an ounce of respect in the whole time he's worked here. And at the meeting yesterday you opposed everything I said. If I didn’t own the controlling shares in this practice I'm sure you would try to get rid of him.”

  His eyes flash with anger and it all slots into place. He doesn’t have a problem with Roman, he has a problem with me, and since he can’t do anything about me he's taking his frustration out on him. I can’t believe I've been so naïve this whole time. I let out a laugh but there’s no humor in it at all and Roger must notice as he moves away from me fractionally.

  “That’s it isn’t it? You can’t handle the fact that I pretty much own this company. Your ego is so fragile that you would treat someone who looks up to you like shit, just because you can’t fight me. I swear I regret taking you on as a partner more and more each day.” And I'm not lying. After the meeting we had yesterday I knew what a mistake it was making him partner. He fights every proposal that I put forward, even when it’s a great idea, but it’s like he needs to prove he has some sort of say in things. He hates that I hold the majority shares, that ultimately what I want goes, but I always swore I wouldn’t give my company over to anyone, no matter how good they are. What he doesn’t know is that I gave up some of my shares a few years ago, letting Hugh buy them so he was the second largest holder. I like Hugh, we both work towards the same goals when it comes to the company. There’s no ego play with him; it’s all business and good sense.

  “You're wrong. Why would I care about my position in the practice? You keep telling us we’re all equal? But then you come to us with that crap like you did yesterday and I'm just suppose to roll over and let you make all the decisions. Maybe I had a plan like that, but maybe I had someone different in mind. Why does it have to be Roman? Why can’t it be Quincy?” Here we go again. We went through all this in the meeting, but both Hugh and me agreed that Quincy wasn’t in the right place to take the next step. This isn’t the right time for him. I just didn’t tell the other partners that it will never be the right time for Quincy, and I will refuse to put him forward for it.

  “Are you sleeping with him or something? That’s the only reason you would think Quincy was anywhere near good enough at his job. The guy is a waste of space, and you should be grateful that I haven’t fired him. That’s because of you. Trust me he would be gone if I had my way.” He snorts as I speak. I have a feeling that the next thing out of his mouth might cause problems for him, but with the red tinge on his face and the fire in his eyes, I know he's losing his temper and things are about to be said that he can’t take back.

  “That’s a bit rich coming from you isn’t it? I know what Roman does to make you so impressed, but I'm pretty sure that having a great mouth won’t make him a good lawyer.”

  I'm not even aware that I'm moving until I have Roger by the front of the shirt, pushing him against his desk until he has to bend over it. I press my full weight against him, getting right into his face so he hears me very clearly. “Now I need you to listen to me, and listen carefully. You can say what the fuck you want about me, but you will not, I repeat, will not talk about Roman like that.”

  His mouth opens and closes like a fish that’s been caught on a hook, the anger in his eyes changing to very obvious fear.

  “Who I fuck is none of your business, even if I want to do it across your desk. I’ve played nice with you until now, but I need you to know that I don’t like you. I regret the day that Hugh introduced us, but I've always been civil to you, just know that could change. Remember that I’m your boss, I can buy you out of this practice in a heartbeat, but you have a lot of clients, and that is your only saving grace.” I push him away and he lands roughly on his desk.

  He doesn’t even move to sort himself as I pull down my sleeves and sort my jacket until I look like nothing has happened. I don’t even look in his direction as I leave the office, slamming the door behind me.

  I pace back and forth across the floor in Trey’s office. I have no idea what’s happening in Mr. Jamison’s office, but going by the look on Trey’s face when I left it’s not anything good. Before he arrived I had been subjected to a lecture like I haven’t experienced before from Mr. Jamieson. I worked out before today that he didn’t like me, but the way he spoke to me made me feel like I was back in high school and I had misbehaved. I told him I had permission to be in Trey’s office, but nothing would make him back off. Once he started it was like he wanted to get everything off his chest while he had a chance. He brought up the fight with Quincy, telling me that I was lucky that the other partners had spoken up for me or I would be without a job already. I know he was lying though, because Trey didn’t know that I had been suspended until I told him.

  I'm scared that my job is at risk now, all for whatever is in that fucking drawer. I walk over to the desk and open the top drawer, laughter coming out of me when I see what’s in there. I pick it up, bringing it closer to me when I hear the door behind me open. I turn quickly, worrying that I'm about to get into even more trouble, but relaxing again when I see Trey standing there with a small smile on his face. He walks towards me, rounding the end of the desk as I hold out my hand.

  “So I lost my job over a book of crosswords?”

  He puts his hands on my hips and pulls me against him. I go freely, wrapping my arms around his neck when we are close enough to touch. This feels nice, like the thing I've been missing in my life. I love that he feels comfortable enough to be open with his affection, that I can touch him in public and not have to hide my feelings. Okay, maybe it’s not public but it’s a start.

  He pulls back from me, looking into my eyes with a sad expression. I hate seeing that expressi
on on his face, so I work at erasing it. Leaning in I kiss him gently on the lips, nipping slightly before sucking his lip into my mouth. It’s not really the time or place for this sort of thing, but when he smiles in the sexy way that gives me goose bumps, I know that it was completely worth it.

  “You need to learn to behave yourself. It’s going to get you into a lot of trouble.” His eyes sparkle with mischief and I know exactly what he means, and as much as I hate to chance losing that look, I need some information from him.

  “I always get into trouble these days. I seem to have a great skill for it. Want to tell me what sort of trouble I'm in now?”

  As I feared Trey’s expression changes, anger showing across his whole face. I don’t want to have to put him in this situation, to come between the partners of this firm that worked together for years before I came here. There have never been any signs of problems, and I hate that I’ve caused tensions over something stupid like a crossword puzzle. I'm not Mr. Jamieson’s favorite person within the firm, and I know he must have pushed to get me fired after what happened with Quincy, but I don’t want to make Trey go to war with him.

  “You aren’t in any trouble.” Even though he smiles, I can still see the tension in the lines around his eyes. Something happened in that office, and as much as I'm sure I don’t want to know what it was, I think I need to.

  “What happened?”

  He leans in and kisses me. I know he's trying to distract me from asking any more questions, and as much as I love feeling his lips against mine I pull back and give him my sternest look. I know it doesn’t work when he laughs at me.

  “Don’t try and distract me, Mr. Colby. I know you too well to let that work. I need to know what happened. I can tell you’re pissed off and I don’t know if it’s at me or because of me. I don’t want to cause any problems for you.”

  He kisses me again before he answers, his words breathy against my skin as he leans his forehead against mine.

  “Listen to me when I say that none of this is your fault. I’m pissed, but not even a tiny fraction of that is because of you. It’s all on Roger, no one else. He likes to act like he’s the most important person around here, when everyone knows it’s me.” He winks and I can’t help but smile at him. He’s cute when he’s trying to set me at ease. I just wish I could believe everything he's saying. I feel like if it weren’t for me everything would be just like normal.

  “I don’t want to be trouble for you.” My voice is lower than I planned, sounding a lot younger than my years even to my own ears.

  “You are a lot of things, Roman. Sexy, naughty, smart, brilliant, and yes, a little bit of trouble. Just know that I want every single part of you, every part excites me, but here at work, you are not trouble. When you are here you are able, and smart, and one of the most brilliant young minds I've seen in a long time. You shouldn’t be a junior, being a paralegal isn’t what you are destined for. Roger just sees how brilliant you are and wants you gone. He wants to get rid of anyone who might challenge his position in this firm.”

  My brows come down in confusion. What does he mean about challenging Mr. Jamieson’s position? I go to ask him but he silences me with his lips. I would say I was getting annoyed about him always trying to distract me, but I'm enjoying the fact he finally wants to touch me openly.

  “I have talked enough about Roger and work now. I just want to take my boyfriend home and spend the night with him in my arms. So, please tell me you don’t have plans and we can make this happen, because two days without you is like torture.” My heart flutters in my chest at his words, calling me his boyfriend making my stomach drop, and I know that even if I did have plans I know for sure I would be cancelling. The thought of spending the night in his arms is officially the only thing I can think of now.

  “Take me home, Trey.” There’s no point playing hard to get, or pretending that there is anything else I want to be doing.

  “With fucking pleasure, baby.” He grabs my hand and drags me to the elevator, where thankfully the doors open as soon as he presses the button. We step in, our hands still grasped together between us. As the door closes movement catches my eye and when I look I see Mr. Jamieson standing at his office door, arms crossed across his chest. The look he has on his face says he isn’t happy about what happened with Trey, and I hope it’s not something that is going to make coming back after the New Year difficult.

  Chapter 26

  I can’t believe I'm doing this. Christmas morning and I'm packing dancing clothes into an overnight bag to take to Trey’s house tonight. I had no idea what to get him as a gift, because lets face it, the guy can buy anything he wants with the money he has. I couldn’t buy anything special that he can’t get himself, apart from myself. So tonight I plan on giving him a night of pleasure that he won’t forget, and I'm hoping that it’s for all the right reasons. I plan to push him to his limits, and by doing that I can either show him how much he really means to me, or I could push him out of my life forever. I'm really hoping it’s not the latter, but I need to do this for him, for me, and for us.

  I hear the doorbell ring through the apartment, making my stomach tumble. I can’t believe I'm actually going to be spending Christmas day with my boyfriend. Boyfriend. I actually have a boyfriend. I shake my head trying to dislodge the twelve year old from inside it, and check the mirror one more time. I hear shouting from the front of the apartment and rush down the hall, wondering what the hell is happening. When I round the corner I stop dead in my tracks, trying to work out what the hell I'm seeing. Grey is standing in the hall outside our apartment in just a towel, shouting at Trey who is glaring at him in anger. I move forward and catch Trey’s attention. When his eyes meet mine I can see nothing but hurt and pain, and it confuses me. I don’t know what I missed while I was in my room, but I wasn’t there that long.

  “I thought you were different. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you, but I really didn’t think you would cheat.” He turns and vanishes from sight. It takes me just a few seconds for my brain to catch up with the events that are happening, and when they do I know exactly what he's thinking. I storm towards the door, suddenly very pissed that he's jumping to conclusions about me and not giving me a chance to explain.

  I exit the front door, pushing past Grey so I can see the retreating form of the man I love. “You fucking coward.”

  Trey stops walking, turning instantly to look at me. He takes a few steps towards me before he answers, his voice rising just as much as mine. “Me? I'm not the one who’s fucking his best friend behind his boyfriend’s back. After all your big talk about wanting me, I find you with him.”

  “Hey, just wait …” I turn and glare at Grey as he starts to speak, instantly silencing him. I point at him, letting him know how pissed I am. “You. Why are you answering the door in a towel? Go put some fucking clothes on would you.” I turn, my finger now pointing squarely on Trey. “And you. You spout all this stuff about trust and believing in us, but it’s all bullshit. You don’t even ask what’s happening, you just jump to conclusions and that’s the only thing you believe. For being the smartest person I know, you are seriously fucking dumb. You asked me to make you trust, so this is your deciding moment. I'm telling you now that Grey is my friend and roommate, nothing more. Can you trust me?”

  I see the indecision crossing his face, and for a moment I think he's going to walk away. I let the breath I'm holding out as he loses the angry look on his face, moving slowly towards me with his head lowered. When he's standing in front of me he finally looks up. He looks like a kid who’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and I try with everything I have to keep a straight face.

  “I'm sorry. It’s just … shit. I'm just sorry.” I don’t think I've ever seen Trey look so contrite in the whole time I've known him, and even though I should still be mad at him he looks so damn cute, and it is Christmas.

  I reach out and grab his face, pulling him towards me. “Merry Christmas, baby.” The smile tha
t lights up his face makes happiness fill my heart, and I make a decision that every Christmas I'm going to see this man’s face.

  “Merry Christmas, Roman.” We kiss, and when he goes to wrap his arms around me I notice for the first time that his arms are full of bags.

  “Come on, sexy. Lets move this into my apartment. You can officially meet my pain in the ass friend, and we will wait for yours. Have to say, you nearly saw my friend naked, and your friend has seen me naked, it’s not really how introductions usually go.” I turn and walk into the apartment, Trey’s laughter following after me. Maybe one day we will have a normal relationship, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

  I look around as I enter the apartment, still laughing at Roman’s comment. It looks like Santa’s grotto exploded in here, and I smile at how much I want to be here. I haven’t ever been one to celebrate the holiday, especially once my brother left to fight in another country, but I think that this year I might just enjoy myself. I drop the bags next to the huge tree, turning to see Grey enter the room, but this time he has clothes on. I bite my lip as I take in his stupid Christmas sweater, and I know if he had answered the door wearing that there would have been no problems. I can’t believe I acted like I did, jumping to conclusions about his relationship with Roman. I hate that I fell into my old ways, believing the worst of Roman without looking at all the information.

  I need to put all the doubt and second-guessing behind me, finally believe that Roman would never do anything like that to me. Like he says, I need to trust him. But really trust him, not just say that I do. With this in mind I walk towards Grey and hold my hand out, hoping he lets me shake his hand.