The Hard To Love series

by T A. McKay

  Now we’re sitting at a table in a relatively quiet area with a great view of the dance floor. I have no intention of getting out there myself, but it’s great to watch all the hot sweaty bodies move together.

  “What can I say? Roman has been a good influence on me. It’s a little bit of a rush trusting someone completely. I know that it doesn’t matter who looks at him, Roman will be going home with me.”

  Again I just sit there and stare at Trey. I knew that having Roman in his life would be a good thing, but to see him changing so completely is something I didn’t expect. “You’ve changed, my friend, and I have to say it’s good to see.” I raise my glass of tequila to toast Trey’s new outlook on life.

  He smiles as he clinks his glass to mine. “Here’s to acting like a grown up … and the hot guys we get to fuck with that privilege.”

  There was a time not that long ago that I wouldn’t have toasted with him, but thankfully I’ve discovered the joys of hot men, so I just smile and nod. I may not have fucked a guy yet, but I'm on board with the sentiment. Plus, it’s a situation I'm hoping to rectify soon.

  Arms wrap around Trey’s shoulders before Roman appears behind him, putting his lips close to Trey’s ear and speaking. I can’t hear what’s being said but from Trey’s reaction, I can tell that it’s something dirty and enticing. Roman abruptly walks away and I watch as Trey downs what remains of his drink, and puts the glass on the table. “Be right back.” That’s all he says before he walks away, following the direction Roman just vanished in.

  “You know they’re away to fuck, right?”

  I take a sip of my drink as I turn and look at Grey who has replaced Trey in the seat next to me. “I figured they wouldn’t last the night. Actually I'm surprised they managed to resist as long as they did.”

  Grey nods his agreement as he finishes off the green concoction that he ordered from the bar when we arrived. After watching him dance around at Trey’s place, I was sure he didn’t need any more alcohol, but I was careful to keep that opinion to myself. If there is one thing I've noticed about Grey, it’s that he doesn’t like to be told what to do. I think stubborn is the word I'm looking for.

  “Do you want another drink?”

  I hold up my nearly full glass and shake my head. “No thanks, I'm fine with this.” I'm careful not to say that I think he should maybe get some water. He isn’t my responsibility, so I just keep quiet and watch as he staggers to the bar.

  The customers are about three deep when he arrives, and not even his cute ass can get him served quicker. I keep an eye on him as he sways where he stands, crashing into the guys that are standing next to him. I didn’t know why seeing him in this state bothered me, but as I watch the young man next to him move far too close, I realize why it does.

  A very happy looking Trey returns to his seat, and without my eyes leaving Grey I speak. “Wow, that was quick. You losing your touch now you're all domesticated?” The comment earns me the finger and I live safely with the knowledge that I can still piss Trey off.

  “I was gone a while, fucker.”

  “Uh huh.” I sit forward in my seat as the guy next to Grey puts his arm around his shoulders. He leans into Grey, his lips brushing over his ear as he speaks. I can’t take my eyes off them as Grey smiles at the guy before walking away. The young punk turns to someone next to him and they fist bump before he follows Grey across the bar.

  “I would show you just …” I stand from my seat and walk away from a now silent Trey. “Be right back.” I don’t wait for a reply before I follow after Grey and his new friend.

  I can feel the hot guy from the bar walking close behind me. When I first headed this way he hadn’t moved from next to his friends and I thought I had lost him. It only took a few moments for him to catch up though, moving in behind me so I could feel his presence against my skin.

  I turn down the final corridor to my destination, making sure to sway my hips to entice my companion for the night. When Roman had vanished with Trey, I knew this is where they were heading. It’s a quiet area at the back of the building that very few people know about. I only know because a previous acquaintance had shown me it. I just hope that it’s quiet when we get there. I haven’t had sex in so long thanks to work. Four long months of dealing with my dick myself and I want to let loose tonight. Just let someone else touch me for a change.

  I slip into the small alcove at the end of the hall and my mind goes straight to hoping that whatever his name is, is willing to receive. When I enter the darkness I'm pushed against the wall behind me, and my plans for what’s about to happen start to change drastically.

  I can feel the guy’s lips against my neck and I tilt my head back to give him better access, but the movement doesn’t agree with my body. In the sudden darkness of the alcove, I start to notice just how much I've had to drink. My head starts to spin a little as lips crash against mine. I try to lead what’s happening but I don’t feel right. I don’t feel like I have control over myself and I want to stop.

  Panic starts to build inside me when he presses his whole weight against me, making it impossible to move away. I try to take a deep breath, to calm the sudden nerves that I have. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I need to relax and enjoy what’s being offered. Something feels off and with my mind muddled with alcohol the way it is, I don’t know what it is. I wish I hadn’t had so much to drink, but it’s the only way I thought I would survive the night being so close to Nathan.

  Hands start to work on the button of my pants and I try to put some distance between us, but with the wall at my back I’m stuck where I am. I manage to get him to release my lips and I suck in a deep breath, not realizing I’d needed one so desperately. I need to stop this, get some control back and walk away. “Stop.” I move my hands between us and I try to push against his chest but he doesn’t move an inch.

  I've never done this before, drinking so much that I put myself into a situation that I can’t control. “Please stop.” I push harder, the panic taking full control of my body now. Thankfully the adrenalin rush gives me a little boost of power and I'm able to push the guy away, putting some much needed distance between us. I keep my hands out in front of me, making sure he doesn’t come any closer.

  “What’s the problem?” There’s anger in his voice that wasn’t there at the bar. When he spoke to me and asked if I was looking for some fun, he had been sweet and charming. Now standing in front of me, he looks the complete opposite, and I wonder if he had always been like that and I just missed it.

  “I'm sorry, I can’t. I need to go.” I hope he listens to me and just walks away because if he doesn’t I'm not sure what I’m going to do.

  “You changed your mind? Are you fucking kidding me?” I may have thought he sounded angry before, but that was nothing compared to now.

  “I'm sorry. I'm too drunk and I should go.” I go to move past him but his arm stretches out, caging me in and blocking my only escape route.

  “You're not going anywhere you little cock tease. I suggest you turn around like a good boy and let me do what I need to.”

  I'm frozen to the spot with his words. This isn’t my first hook up here in the club, but never before have I been treated like this. Maybe I've been lucky, but all my one-night stands have been gentlemen.

  Now as I'm staring down someone who is probably willing to take what he wants without permission, I know I've made a very big mistake.

  “Look, just let me leave. I'm sure there’s someone else out there only too happy to spend some time with you.” I try to keep my voice gentle and level, like I'm talking to an angry dog that could attack at any moment. It’s difficult though, and my head is screaming at me to get out of here. The only problem is the lack of control I have over my body. My legs have turned to jelly so I don’t think I could move if I wanted to.

  “Nah, I'm fine. I’ve got my eye on you now, and I think I will stick with my original choice.”

  The smile that accompanies his words makes m
y skin crawl and I wonder how I was attracted to him in the first place. “Please just …” I stop talking as someone walks around the entrance of the alcove, his body a complete shadow. He moves slowly, exuding power that I wish I had.

  Bar guy must hear him enter because he steps away from me and turns his body towards our new guest. I put some distance between me and bar guy, hoping that this is the distraction I need to get away. Shadow guy moves to the wall opposite me, leaning back against it and crossing his arms.

  “This is a private party, so if you could fuck off that would be great.” I swear every time I hear this guy speak he gets angrier. It doesn’t seem to phase our visitor though, who just stands there like he has every right to be in here.

  “Yeah it sounded like everyone invited to your party was happy to be here. But please, carry on.”

  At the sound of our visitors voice I move further into the corner trying to hide, knowing that I'm never going to be able to face its owner again.

  “But before you start, just a little warning. You touch him at all and I will break every bone in your body.” He moves into the light, pointing his finger towards me. “Because his ass is mine.”

  Chapter 2

  I wasn’t going to come in. I was just going to stand outside and make sure Grey wasn’t getting himself into trouble, but listening to this fuckhead speaking made my blood boil. When Grey started to beg him to let him leave I knew that I was going to kill the bastard.

  Now as I stand and watch Grey try to hide in the corner, I get even more pissed off. How the fuck could he let himself get into this situation? He's a grown man, a fucking doctor at that, so I know he has common sense. But here he stands, cornered by some idiot who was only too willing to take what he wanted. With or without consent.

  “Seriously, I have no idea who you are, but this guy came in here with me.” Cuntface, as I have affectionately named him, shouts at me while getting into my face, obviously trying to intimidate me. Little does he know that I'm the wrong guy to try and fuck with. I might not look like a fighter, but I can hold my own in the ring with Trey, so this little nothing doesn’t intimidate me in the slightest.

  When he finishes his sentence we are nose to nose, his finger pressing against my chest. If I wasn’t as angry as I am right now, I would laugh in his face, but I'm getting pretty close to being done with him.

  “So he will be going home with me. So. Fuck. Off.” He emphasizes his last three words with a hard prod to my chest.

  Yeah, I'm done with this shit.

  I reach out, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pull him the final inch that separates us. If anyone saw us standing nose to nose they would probably think we were having a romantic moment, but they would be very wrong. With the anger vibrating through me, I'm finding it difficult to not explode, because I think his face would be the perfect place to release this rage.

  “I don’t mean to second guess you, but he actually arrived with me. And there’s no fucking way he's going anywhere without me. So you want him? Fine, but that means you get me too. My advice is it would be easier for us all if you just walk. The. Fuck. Away.” I don’t even wait for a response from him before I push him towards the doorway, using maybe a little more force than is needed. It gives me a lot of satisfaction to watch him stumble, and I think I'm being more than generous by not introducing his face to my fist.

  He glares at me when he stops, this anger clear in the hands he has clenched at his side. He takes a few moments to think over his next move and his indecision makes me tighten my muscles in case he comes at me. I don’t want to fight tonight, but if he wants to start something with me I will be only too happy to finish it.

  I cross my arms over my chest and pretend that I don't care what he does. I've found that this is usually the best way to get someone to walk away from a fight they’re itching to have. You just act nonchalant, like you aren’t threatened and that they are boring you. It’s usually the easiest way to get someone’s anger to deflate pretty quickly and they scurry away, which would be great with this guy. I would love to go home tonight without having to rearrange his face, especially since I'm wearing a new shirt and blood is a bitch to get out.

  I smirk when he gives me the finger before storming off down the hall. That’s one problem sorted, now only one more to deal with.

  I turn abruptly to face Grey who is still trying to blend into the wall behind him. I stalk towards him, not even trying to hide my anger. I stop when there’s barely an inch between us and I try to ignore the thrill that runs through me from being so close to Grey. I like the fact I'm taller than him and that he needs to look up to see my eyes, not that he's doing that at the moment. No, apparently he's found something really interesting to stare at on my shirt instead, and is refusing to look at me. I don’t give him a chance to ignore me. I put my fingers under his chin and tilt his face upwards until he has no other option but to look at me.

  He reluctantly lifts his eyes, finally meeting mine.

  “What the fuck were you thinking?” I try to keep my voice neutral to hide the fact that I want to shake the stupid out of him. I don’t think I'm successful when he tries to lower his head again. I refuse to let him escape my stare and keep my hand firmly on his jaw. “You can’t ignore me, Grey. I want to know what the hell you were doing coming back here with that guy?”

  “I thought he was nice, okay? I just changed my mind when I got here. I would have been fine. I was just about to leave.”

  He can’t honestly believe what he's saying. There’s no way in hell that guy was going to let him walk out of here intact. “I call bullshit, Grey. You were in trouble and you know it. I just can’t get my head around this, you’re a smart guy and yet you let yourself get into this position. I knew I should have stopped you drinking hours ago.”

  “What is it to you?” I can hear that’s he's trying to be strong, to show me that he’s fully in control, but I can clearly hear the shake in his words.

  “Humor me.” I bend my knees slightly so I am level with him. I move my hand from his chin to the wall next to his head, caging him in. He drops his head again, but I let him hide this time. I want him to answer me, and if he can’t do that while looking in my eye then I’ll let him hide. I hear him mutter something, but it doesn’t reach my ears. “You need to speak up, Blue, I can’t hear you.”

  His head rises quickly, his eyes meeting mine with so much determination in them that it takes everything in me not to take a step back. “I said I was horny. I haven’t had sex in what feels like years and I wanted an orgasm that wasn’t caused by my own hand. There, you happy now?”

  My eyes take in the blush that’s spreading over his cheeks. Even in the dim lights it’s difficult to miss. I want to say that I didn’t get hard when I thought about him making himself come, but I find it’s easier if I don’t lie to myself. The color on his cheeks and the defiant glare in his eye turns me on more than I know it should. There is just something hot about the way that Grey fights back when he's pushed.

  “All this because you need to get your dick wet? Shit, and I thought it was for a good reason. So why the fuckwit? There are hundreds of guys in there who would want to show you a good time.”

  His laughter meets my ears and a look flickers in his eyes, and if I didn’t know better I would say it was pain. But this is Grey; the guy has more confidence than anyone I know, and that's including Trey when he’s in the courtroom. “Yeah, that’s right. I can barely move for all the guys chasing me tonight. Are you done now, Nathan? Can I go back out there and enjoy the rest of my night?” He goes to move past me and I allow him to, only grabbing him by the arm at the last second before he reaches the entryway of the alcove. He stops but doesn’t look back at me as I approach him.

  I only stop when I get really close to him, making sure my chest brushes against his back. I lean in until I can smell his aftershave and my lips ghost over the edge of his ear. “Fine, you go back to your night, Grey.” I almost growl his name as m
y body responds to my attraction to him. “But the next time you want your dick sucked, give me a call. I’ll be more than happy to help you out.” I graze my teeth over the skin behind his ear before walking away with a huge ass smile on my face.

  I'm still standing in the same spot when Nathan disappears around the corner that leads towards the bar area. I'm not sure what just happened in here, because every time Nathan is near me my brain seems to malfunction. Ever since the morning after Christmas when he pinned me to my wall and gave me one of the hottest kisses of my life, I can’t seem to stop my body reacting to him. Despite the embarrassment of him seeing me in that situation with, whatever his name was, all I could think of was how good Nathan felt next to me. He wasn’t touching me as I stood pressed against the wall, but I could feel his body heat like I had just come in from the cold.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath, giving myself a second to try and come up with a plan to get through the rest of the night. Maybe I should just go home? Tonight is a bust anyway, and there’s no possible way I'm going to go out there to meet someone else. I can just imagine Nathan watching me the rest of the night with that disappointed look that he’s so good at. I can’t work out why it bothers me that he's pissed off with my actions. I’m a grown ass man and I have absolutely no reason to answer to him. The guy is an asshole and he’s constantly pissing me off more than should be possible. He does it with such fucking ease too.

  I take a deep breath and decide not to let Nathan get to me. I need to just go out there and carry on with the night like I’d planned to before. He has no say over what happens in my life, and I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he's bothering me.