I would never let my friend go through that.
I swallowed, pushing the memory away. Not letting myself miss my mother, or mourn again for the baby brother I’d never had the chance to know.
“I won’t mess this up, Sarah,” I said, gesturing between us. “I will take care of you and Holly and the baby. Even if it’s not ‘that’ kind of love, we are a family now. All three and a half of us.”
She smiled and squeezed my hand, her eyes growing suspiciously bright. “Thanks, honey. I know. And believe me, I’m grateful. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I just hate the thought of you giving up any sort of love life of your own when you don’t have to, just because you’ve saddled yourself with us.”
I mock-glared at her. We’d had this conversation before, but I was happy to go through it again.
“First, I did not ‘saddle’ myself with you. You and Luke have been my best friends for as long as I can remember. You were both always there for me, and now that he’s gone, I get to be here for you. And—” Just the thought of Sarah’s daughter brought a smile to my face. “—you know I love Holly, too.”
It didn’t matter what some stranger had made me feel. Still made me feel, every time I thought of him. I would never let Sarah down.
She nodded, wiping at her eyes.
“Second,” I continued. “You know I’ve never even had a boyfriend, so it’s not like I’m missing out. You guys are the ones who need me, not some hot guy whose name I don’t even know. If I’ve waited this long to date or, um, ‘be’ with a guy—” Oh, God. My cheeks were on fire again. “—it’s not going to hurt me to wait a little longer.”
The truth was, I had zero experience with men. I’d always been too shy, too smart, too young compared to everyone around me. I’d taken accelerated classes all through school, graduating college before my peers even had their high school diplomas. I’d been hired by one of the biggest software companies in the world before I’d turned eighteen. A prodigy, they called me. Or if you wanted to get a little more accurate: an awkward, geeky, gay, virgin, computer-whiz who had never even kissed a guy, much less done the things that I’d suddenly been desperate for yesterday, when I’d seen him.
The idea of not dating, not touching, not wanting or, God, getting fucked by anyone—for as long as Sarah needed this marriage-in-name-only—it truly hadn’t seemed like a big deal when I’d proposed it to her. I hadn’t known what I was missing, so it hadn’t felt like I’d be missing out on anything at all.
I still didn’t know what I was missing, I reminded myself sternly.
So why did it suddenly feel like I could close my eyes and feel the blond man’s hands on me, those strong hands I’d only seen for a moment, but could picture clearly even now, running up my body, his touch licking me like fire, heating me from the inside out, making me—
“Dev? You okay, honey?”
My eyes snapped open, and I stifled a groan. I felt like I was going crazy. I had to find a way to forget that I’d ever seen that guy, and go back to being happy with the choices that I’d made. I knew what was important, and what was real.
These visions that were suddenly plaguing me… they were never going to happen.
5
~ Maksim ~
“Tell me about Devin,” I said to Sarah, my voice bouncing off the slides and swings in the children’s play area with an echoing resonance that made Dane frown at me.
“Stop it,” Wes said under his breath, smacking my arm. “This is a playdate.”
I turned away from them for a second, trying to quell the rising tsunami of urgency inside me. This woman knew my mate. She was married to the man. I needed to know what she knew. I needed to convince her that she didn’t want him. I needed… I needed Devin, and the need was starting to border on desperation.
I wasn’t used to feeling this way about anyone, and it was making me crazy. I remembered how wrecked Dane had looked, when he’d run from his fated mate after first claiming him. I hadn’t understood at the time, even though I’d tried to be sympathetic. Men were enjoyable, but not essential.
Not before now.
I rubbed my arm where Wes had smacked me, embarrassed that I’d given in and used my power on Sarah. Even more embarrassed that my friends had caught me pushing.
I rarely used my dragon’s power to compel humans with my voice. When I had done so in the past, it had generally been for mutual enjoyment or harmless convenience. I hadn’t intended to compel Sarah just now, but my dragon had grown impatient and seized the opportunity as soon as she showed up.
My otherself was getting impatient. Earlier in the morning, when I’d overheard Wes tell Dane that he was taking Elise to the park to meet up with Sarah and her daughter, my dragon had surged within me. I’d invited myself along, the words bursting out of my mouth without thinking as my otherself pushed me to do whatever it took to claim my mate. My spontaneous outburst had left both men staring at me blankly. They’d looked baffled, as if I’d spoken in a foreign language.
“You want to come to the park?” Wes had finally asked, cocking his head to the side with a quizzical look. He clearly had no idea why I’d be interested in spending the day with a couple of toddlers.
“I thought you were heading back to your own territory today,” Dane had added.
It had been two days since I’d found my mate, and I still hadn’t told my friends about Devin. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. As desperate as I felt to hurry up and claim my mate, I’d never wanted to be a home wrecker, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to go about making him mine without ruining the lives of the young family that Devin already had.
Ty had been surprisingly perceptive about my reluctance, and the outgoing soldier had kept his mouth closed about it when we’d returned to the party room the other day. I’d appreciated his discretion, but this morning, as Dane and Wes had stood there staring at me, I’d realized that I had to tell them.
Sarah was friends with Wes. Even if I did manage to track Devin down on my own, they’d find out eventually. And the truth was that I felt completely out of my depth. I didn’t know what to do, and I could really use their help.
I honestly didn’t know how Dane and Wes would react. On the one hand, they would understand the driving need I felt for Devin better than anyone. On the other hand, though, they were parents themselves, and married. I couldn’t imagine them wanting to help me destroy that for someone else… but I had no idea how I would go about claiming my mate without doing just that. Just thinking about it made me want to groan.
My emotions felt too raw, the situation too impossible, and the idea of sharing it with the two men who already had what I wanted was painful. I wasn’t used to this kind of strong emotion, and I knew I wasn’t handling it well.
I hadn’t let anything get to me like this since I had been forced to abandon my brother when Dane and I fled from our homeland centuries ago. There had been nothing I could do about that old hurt, and I’d successfully suppressed those feelings for years, happy that my true nature required avoiding any potentially painful involvement with the men who had come and gone in my life since.
But fate wasn’t going to let me off the hook this time.
“I can’t leave,” I’d finally admitted to Dane and Wes this morning. “My fated mate is here. I found him, and now I need to find a way to win him over.”
“You shouldn’t have any trouble with that,” Wes had said, grinning. “Trust me, you’ll be irresistible to him. In fact, if you’ve already found him, I can’t believe you haven’t already…” he’d let that thought trail off as his cheeks flushed. The look he’d shot at Dane made it clear that he’d been thinking of the inevitable outcome of a dragon claiming his mate.
But for once, Dane hadn’t been looking at Wes.
“Who is it?” he’d asked me, frowning. “Where did you find him?”
Even without knowing the details, Dane had instantly understood that it wasn’t always as straightforward as it sh
ould be to complete the bond with the man fate had chosen. If it had been easy, I wouldn’t have been standing in their kitchen talking about it—I would have already claimed him.
“It’s Sarah’s husband,” I’d told them.
Dane had groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head.
Wes’s eyes had widened, and he’d started chewing on his lip nervously. “That’s… not good.”
The understatement of the century, and a sentiment I completely agreed with.
Wes felt understandably protective toward his friend Sarah, and when they’d agreed to let me come along to the park to help me find out more about Devin’s situation, Dane had decided that he needed to come, too. I wasn’t sure if he was more motivated by wanting to keep an eye on me, or if he just wanted to offer his support. Probably a little bit of both.
As we’d headed to the park, I’d wondered if Sarah would pick up on the tension radiating off the three of us, but in the end she didn’t have a chance. As soon as she’d shown up, my otherself had pushed the words out of my mouth—tell me about Devin—compelling her to do my will and answer my questions.
I wasn’t proud of it, but I didn’t take it back. I needed to hear what she had to say.
“I love Devin,” Sarah answered now, her glazed eyes telling me that she was responding to my dragon’s power—which meant that what she said was the truth. My heart sank. “I just wish he’d find himself a boyfriend,” she continued.
“What?” I asked, startled.
“A boyfriend?” Dane echoed, raising his eyebrows.
“Devin is your husband, right? The guy we met at Elise’s birthday party?” Wes asked, his brow furrowing. He snapped his fingers in front of her face, trying to bring her out of her dragon-compelled daze. “Sarah, what are you talking about?”
She blinked, her gaze moving between the three of us in confusion. “I was talking about… Devin?” She turned her attention to me. “Did you just ask about my husband?”
I nodded. “You said you wanted him to find a boyfriend,” I reminded her in a normal, non-compelling voice. I was proud of myself for that, especially with my dragon still pushing me to take control and make her tell us everything she knew about my mate.
Sarah gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. “I said that?” she asked, the words coming out muffled. She groaned, rolling her eyes and lowering her hand. “Please forget I said that,” she added, her cheeks flushing. But then something in my expression must have given me away. “Wait. Are you him? The guy?” she asked excitedly. “Were you at Elise’s birthday party?”
“Sarah, what’s going on?” Wes asked, touching her arm to get her attention. “The way you’ve always talked about your husband, I assumed the two of you had a great relationship.”
“Oh, we do! Devin is my best friend. I love him.” She paused, chewing on her lip. “Can you tell me why you’re asking about him?” she asked me, sounding oddly hopeful.
I couldn’t very well tell her that he was mine.
“I want, uh…” I paused. What was I supposed to say? I wasn’t used to feeling at a loss, and a desperate sense of urgency started to rise up inside me as I searched for the right words.
Sarah was definitely sending out some odd signals. She seemed to want me to be interested in Devin… but even if I was reading her right, how was I supposed to go about telling her that I wanted to fuck her husband? And not just that—although it was true—but that I wanted more. That I wanted to claim him, to fill him with my heat and give him my dragon’s fire, binding him to me forever. That I wanted him to carry my child, and hear him say that he was mine, and never, ever let him go.
I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Yeah, no. I definitely couldn’t say all of that to her.
From a human’s perspective, Devin and I were strangers. Sarah would have no reason to believe me if I told her that even though we hadn’t actually met, Devin and I were destined for each other. There was no way to make her understand that I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I would love the man, would lay down my life for him, would cherish him every day that we were together.
Telling Sarah the truth would just end up sounding obsessive, and creepy, and possibly a little stalker-ish.
Even though I hadn’t given her an answer, she seemed to see something in my face that satisfied her. She smiled, nodding decisively as if she’d come to a decision, then said, “Listen, Dev wouldn’t want me to tell you everything, but the truth is that he’s gay, and the other day I think he finally met a guy that he’s interested in. Since you’re asking about him, I’m hoping that maybe that guy was you.” Sarah paused, obviously hoping I would say something.
I gave her a small nod, ridiculously pleased to hear her confirm that Devin had felt something, too. The way he’d run away had fed my doubts, and I wasn’t used to feeling uncertain around men. My dragon rumbled inside me, clearly amused at the idea that fate could have made a mistake.
Sarah smiled and went on. “I don’t know what happened between you two since he only stayed at Elise’s party for a minute, but you obviously made an impression on him. I just don’t want him to give up on this—on you—before he gives it a chance. I know he’s worried about being able to take care of me and Holly and the baby, but I don’t want us to stand in the way of his happiness. Why don’t you let me properly introduce you to him, and we’ll see where it goes?”
I still didn’t understand how Sarah could be so open to the idea of letting me have her husband—whatever the circumstances of their marriage—but that was obviously the case. I felt the tension drain out of me, and my lips curved up in a smile.
Maybe this wasn’t going to be as hard as I’d thought.
6
~ Devin ~
“I’m not interested,” I lied, trying to slow my racing heart.
Over the last couple of days, it had been hard to keep my mind off the blond stranger who had made me feel things I’d never imagined—or maybe it was more accurate to say, imagine things that I’d never actually felt—but now he was here, in my home, sitting next to my wife.
His name was Maks, and he had just told me that he wanted to take me out on a date, which made keeping my mind off of him utterly impossible. But I could still do the right thing.
I had just come home from work, and all day I’d felt out of sorts. It had been hard to concentrate on the coding I’d had to get through when I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about That Man. Or, more accurately, about getting fucked by him. Oh, Lord. Ever since I’d first seen him, I had felt feverish and restless and so fucking horny I almost couldn’t stand it. Even when I’d been attracted to other men in the past, I’d never imagined anything as graphic as the visions my mind kept insisting on playing for me every time I closed my eyes over the last couple of days.
And sometimes even when they stayed open.
I’d come home today to find a strange car in the driveway, and even before I’d opened the door I’d somehow known that it would be him. I’d sensed it—the same way I’d been able to feel him moving across the room when I’d run away, before—and it felt inevitable, and right… but that still didn’t mean that I had the right to say yes, even if saying no was the hardest thing I’d ever done.
“Dev!” Sarah said now, rolling her eyes at me. “Don’t be ridiculous. You know you want to.”
She wasn’t helping. And he wasn’t helping, either. Maks was looking back at me like he knew about every one of my fantasies, and wanted nothing more than to make them come true. Which, really, made no sense. For one thing, we’d barely spoken two words to each other. For another, the man was gorgeous. Definitely not the type who would generally look twice at someone like me. Or even once.
I pushed my glasses up higher on the bridge of my nose, swallowing nervously. I was holding my laptop bag in front of me, hoping it hid my raging erection and trying to talk myself out of tossing it aside and crossing the room and climbing all over the man who, beyond all reason, s
eemed to want me, too.
I didn’t do things like that. I didn’t even normally think things like that. But now, even with Sarah—my wife—sitting right next to Maks, I had to bite my lip to keep from begging him to fuck me.
And he looked like he would do it in a heartbeat, if I asked. That look… God, it was so hot. I started to feel like I was going to lose my inner battle. Luckily, before I gave in and did something embarrassing, little Holly toddled down the hall from the nursery and saved me.
“Up, Dev,” she demanded, one hand rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and the other reaching for me.
This was why I shouldn’t, I reminded myself as I willed my cock to calm down and then scooped up my step-daughter. No, not ‘shouldn’t.’ Couldn’t. I’d promised to take care of Holly and Sarah, and I wouldn’t desert them just because my libido had suddenly gone from zero to sixty.
“I just want to take you to dinner,” he repeated, standing up with a sexy little half-smile dancing over his lips. The words sounding much more innocent than the raging heat in his arctic-blue eyes. God, they actually looked like they were burning.
I shook my head, hiding behind the child in my arms.
“How about going out for coffee, then?” Maks asked, his smile slipping a bit and his eyes glowing hotter.
“I can’t.”
Sarah stood up, too, giving me a disappointed look. She came and took Holly out of my arms, heading toward the kitchen.
“Stop it,” she whispered as she left the room. Left me alone with Maks. “He just wants to get to know you, honey. No one is going to think our marriage is a sham just because you spend an hour in a coffee shop with a hot guy.”
And then she was gone, and Maks was still there, and I felt like I was quite literally going to die if the man didn’t touch me. But I also knew that if that happened, it wouldn’t be enough. I would want more.
Scorch: M/M Gay Shifter Mpreg Romance (Dragon's Destiny: Fated Mates Book 2) Page 3