I'll Stand By You

by Sharon Sala

  “Hey, look! The girl is in the swing!” Beep said.

  “Her name is Dori,” Johnny said.

  “Hey, look! Dori is in the swing,” Beep repeated.

  Johnny laughed. He was still smiling when he pulled up to the house and parked.

  * * *

  Dori was wearing new clothing: the white tennis shoes, a pair of jeans, and a blue-and-white-striped Henley. She had dressed Luther in clean pajamas with a pair of new socks on his little feet, and if she hadn’t been so sad about losing her grandfather, things would have felt closer to normal again.

  Sitting outside had been an impulse, but once she’d settled into the swing and pushed off, the motion was relaxing. Luther was quiet, lulled by the rocking and the sights around him. The chains holding up the swing squeaked just enough to mark a rhythm.

  She couldn’t believe that this time yesterday, she’d been at home making supper with Granddaddy and Luther. It was hard to accept how fast that world had ended. She wanted to go to the funeral home, but they hadn’t called to tell her the body was ready for viewing, and so she rocked a little more as the ache built within her chest.

  Luther squirmed and kicked, trying to get his fist into his mouth and a grip on the blanket and accomplished neither, which set off a squawk of disapproval for his situation.

  Dori rubbed the top of his soft curls and tucked the blanket around him.

  “What’s the matter, Luther Joe? Are you missing Granddaddy as much as I am?”

  When he wouldn’t be satisfied, she laid his head against her shoulder, tucked the blanket around his ears and started patting his back in rhythm to the creaking swing. This was his fussy time. Maybe when Johnny and the boys got home, his mood would shift.

  Luther had finally settled again when she happened to glance up and saw Johnny’s car. Her pulse kicked as she took a quick breath, a little anxious to face them again. They pulled up into the driveway and parked. When Johnny got out carrying a sack, he was laughing, and something tugged at her heart. Just for a moment, she saw him as a good-looking guy. He was even what girls would call sexy, but he seemed oblivious of the fact. The boys were laughing and poking at each other when they got out, and then they caught her watching and stopped.

  She waved, and it was the trigger that egged them on.

  “Hi,” Marshall said as he walked up on the porch. “Is the baby asleep?”

  Dori smiled. “No, he’s just a little fussy before his bedtime.”

  “Can I look at him?” Beep asked.

  “Absolutely,” Dori said and turned Luther around and sat him back down in her lap.

  Beep slipped up onto the swing beside her and then patted the baby’s leg. “He’s really soft,” he whispered.

  Dori nodded, eyeing the fading bruises and the earnest expression on his face beneath the nose guard and wondered how anyone could hurt someone this sweet and innocent.

  “Yes, he is, isn’t he? That’s why we have to take such good care of babies, because they can’t take care of themselves.”

  Johnny was standing at the foot of the steps and trying not to stare, but watching Dori interacting so easily with his brothers touched him. Then he caught her looking at him. A little embarrassed, he held up the sack of cookies.

  “Compliments of the boys and Miss Jane. They wanted to send you something special, and Miss Jane sends her sympathies.”

  Dori looked at the boys. “Did you help make those?”

  “We decorated them and then Miss Jane cooked them,” Marshall said.

  “That’s wonderful. I can’t wait to try one,” she said. “So let’s go in, okay? I think Luther has been outside long enough.”

  Johnny leaped up the steps and opened the door for her.

  She gave him a quick glance and a smile.

  “Thank you.”

  “No problem,” he said and shut the door behind them, then immediately noticed the cleaning that she’d done while they were gone.

  “The house looks and smells great,” he said.

  She flushed and then was irked at herself for reacting like that to the compliment. “Thank you,” she said and saw him eye the delivery from the flower shop. “From the ladies at the hair salon…because of Granddaddy.”

  He caught sight of the boys, who were edging toward the kitchen, obviously following the enticing scents.

  “Boys, do you have homework?”

  “I smell fried chicken,” Marshall said.

  “Do you have homework?” Johnny repeated.

  “A little, but I’m really hungry,” Marshall added.

  Johnny glanced at Dori.

  “It’s ready if you want to eat,” she said. “Oh, I almost forgot,” she said and pulled a hundred-dollar bill out of her pocket. “Mr. Butterman said I would have immediate access to Granddaddy’s checking account because my name was also on it, and he advanced me a loan against my final bill. Here’s a little more to help with what we’ll use.”

  “It wasn’t that much,” Johnny said.

  “It will be,” she said and pushed it into his hand.

  “Thank you,” he said. “Money is always tight before payday.”

  “He also said I was on the title of Granddaddy’s car as co-owner, which I didn’t know. The insurance company will send me money to replace the car. When I get it, I’ll start looking for a place for me and Luther and be out of your hair.”

  He should have been relieved to hear there was a deadline to his charity, but for some reason, it didn’t sound as appealing as he would have expected. Instead, he glanced at the boys and pointed.

  “We’ll eat now. Both of you go wash up, but no dawdling after supper, and no TV until your homework is finished.”

  “Yay!” they cried and ran toward the bathroom, pushing and shoving as they went.

  Johnny rolled his eyes. “That’s what you have to look forward to with this one,” he said and tapped Luther’s little head lightly with the tip of his finger. “I’ll wash up in the kitchen.”

  Dori followed him in, wishing for a high chair. She had the money to get one. All she needed was a vehicle to make it happen.

  “Wow!” Johnny said, eyeing the food on the table and all over the cabinet.

  “The coleslaw is in the refrigerator. We can microwave the mashed potatoes and gravy to heat it up.”

  “I can do all that,” Johnny said. “I think you’ve done more than your share today.”

  “Then I’ll feed Luther.”

  Dori sat down at the table and fastened a bib around Luther’s neck and began to feed him applesauce.

  Johnny looked over his shoulder and again caught a look of such love on her face it took him aback. His memories of their mother did not include anything like that. He wondered if Dori had felt that kind of love for Luther’s father, and then he looked away. It was none of his business.

  Chapter 11

  The boys sat down at the table, stunned by the amount of food. Marshall pointed at the large container of fried chicken.

  “Is this someone’s birthday?”

  Dori glanced at Johnny, willing him to answer. He was scooping mashed potatoes on both boys’ plates and making little wells in the mounds to hold the gravy and, as she’d hoped, answered for her.

  “No, it’s not a celebration, Marshall. Some people were kind enough to bring food here on Dori’s behalf because her grandfather died.”

  Beep’s eyes widened as he looked longingly at the food, afraid it might not be good to eat.

  “Does that mean this is sad food?”

  Dori smiled through tears.

  “No, honey, this isn’t sad food. I think we should call it ‘helping out’ food. They brought it so I wouldn’t have to cook in case I was tired. Understand?”

  “I can help you eat it,” he offered, then pointed at the platter of chicken. �
��Can I have a one of those leg things?”

  “May I have,” Johnny said and put a drumstick on Beep’s plate. “What about you, Marshall? Which piece do you want?”

  “A big one,” Marshall said.

  Dori poked another bite of applesauce in Luther’s mouth as Johnny put a larger piece of chicken on Marshall’s plate.

  “What about you, Dori?” Johnny asked.

  “Uh, either a back or wing, please.”

  Johnny frowned. “There’s not much meat on either of those.”

  She shrugged. “I know, but I like the bony pieces best.”

  He arched an eyebrow and put a couple of chicken wings on her plate.

  “As long as it’s a choice and not a sacrifice, they’re all yours.”

  She laughed and was startled that she’d gotten past the sadness long enough to do it.

  Luther looked up at her and grinned, applesauce running from both corners of his mouth.

  She laughed again at the sight and shook her head.

  “You’re supposed to swallow that, Luther Joe.”

  Unfazed by the baby’s mess, the boys laughed too.

  Johnny’s emotions were in overdrive. This was too much like a family gathering, which was a luxury he’d never allowed himself to consider—even if the girl was pretty…even if she had a baby who belonged to someone else.

  Johnny finished filling everyone’s plates. The boys ate like they were starving. He tried not to feel guilty that he could not provide food like this on a regular basis. He wasn’t much of a cook and buying takeout food was not on their budget, but it was damn tasty, even if it was sad food.

  Finally, they were down to dessert. Dori chose a cookie over pie and then bragged on the boys about how pretty it was and how good it tasted. The boys were beaming, and by the time she asked for a second one, she’d pretty much won their hearts and Johnny’s deep respect. She’d seen how important it was to acknowledge their contributions to her situation and responded in the best way possible: by choosing cookies over pie.

  “You’re a good man, Charlie Brown,” he said softly as he handed her the second cookie.

  His praise washed through her and filled her up.

  “You should try one,” she said shyly.

  He winked. “You eat mine. I’m going for a third piece of chicken.”

  The boys worked at finishing off their pie. Dori was trying to eat her cookie and keep Luther’s hands out of her mouth while Johnny finished off his third, and last, piece of chicken.

  Just as they were getting ready to begin the cleanup, Dori’s phone rang.

  “Excuse me,” she said and got up to go answer it.

  “Give Luther to me,” Johnny said as he took the baby out of her arms.

  “Thank you,” she said and ran into the living room to find the phone, then answered quickly. “Hello?”

  “Dori, this is Evelyn Harper. I wanted to let you know that your grandfather is ready for viewing, but I won’t open his room to the public until you’ve okayed everything.”

  Dori’s stomach lurched. Just like that, reality reared its ugly head.

  “Uh, I’m not sure when I can get there. I’ll have to ask—”

  All of a sudden, Johnny was right behind her.

  “What do you need?” he asked.

  “Excuse me just a sec, Mrs. Harper.”

  “Take your time,” Evelyn said.

  Johnny repeated himself. “What’s happening?”

  “It’s the funeral home. They have Granddaddy’s body ready but won’t allow people in until I okay everything.”

  “Do you have a driver’s license?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she said.

  He shrugged. “Good enough for me,” he said and dug his car keys out of his pocket. “Take my car and go do what you have to do. We can watch out for Luther until you get back.”

  It was only because she couldn’t get out of this task that she relented.

  “Mrs. Harper? Are you still there?”

  “Yes, I’m here.”

  “I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Dori said.

  “All right, honey. I’ll be here.”

  Dori pocketed her phone and looked at the keys in his hand and then at her baby.

  “I can take him with me,” she said.

  He frowned. “No, you can’t. You don’t have a car seat.”

  “Or a baby bed or a high chair or a baby stroller or anything else,” she muttered and then sighed. “I already feel so beholden to you and now to ask you to babysit and furnish me a vehicle seems like overkill.”

  “You didn’t ask; I offered, which is a different set of circumstances, and the sooner you leave, the sooner you get back. But hang on a minute.”

  He left at a lope and came back just as quickly.

  “This is a key to the house. You might be needing it in the days to come, and the car keys, of course.” He dropped them in her palm then curled his fingers around her hand. “It’s just help, Dori. At one time or another, we all need it.”

  She nodded, and just for a moment after he let go, it almost felt like she’d lost her anchor.

  “I won’t be long,” she said and then rubbed her finger along Luther’s arm. “Hey, little man, you be a good boy for Mama, okay?”

  Johnny smiled. “He’ll be fine. Strangely enough, I seem to be good with boys.”

  She put the house key in her pants pocket and made a quick exit before she changed her mind.

  Starting the car made her nervous, and then she had to move the seat forward to better reach the brake, evidence of Johnny’s long legs. But as soon as she backed out of the drive, she forgot about who she’d left behind and focused entirely on the journey ahead. The distance to the funeral home wasn’t far, but it was facing what she had to do once there that made her sick to her stomach.

  She got to the funeral home without incident, but the moment she parked and got out, her legs began to shake.

  “I can do this,” she mumbled and kept moving forward.

  Evelyn Harper must have been watching for her, because she opened the door to greet her.

  “Good evening, Dori,” Evelyn said and gave her a brief hug. “How are you doing?”

  Dori shrugged as tears welled.

  “Are you ready?” Evelyn asked.

  Dori nodded.

  “Come this way,” Evelyn said, taking her by the arm and leading her into a viewing room.

  Dori crossed the threshold, saw the open casket, and stumbled. “Oh Lord,” she whispered.

  Evelyn stopped. “Would you like to be alone?”

  “Yes.”

  Dori moved toward the casket as Evelyn walked out and closed the door. She looked at the suit, at the tie, at his hands crossed just above his waist, at the way they’d combed his hair—at everything there was to see until there was nothing left but his face.

  He looked like he was sleeping.

  Tears rolled as she reached for his hand, but then she flinched. Not only was it stiff, but it was cold—a reminder that he was done with this body.

  “Oh, Granddaddy, I am so sad. We are lost without you.”

  She sat down in a chair beside the casket and ran her fingers along the satin-like finish on the cherrywood, like Grandy’s dining table and chairs. But then she remembered that they were gone too.

  She cried until her eyes were swollen and her head was throbbing in rhythm with her heartbeat before she made herself get up. This time when she looked, she looked straight at his face, as if willing him to open his eyes and acknowledge her presence.

  “I know about all the money you left for us. You saved me when Mother and Daddy died. You saved me again when Grandy died, and you didn’t throw me away when I got pregnant with Luther. Now you’ve saved us again by making sure we aren’t homeless and
penniless. You were the best grandfather ever. I won’t let Luther forget you. I promise.”

  She took a deep breath, wiped her hands across her cheeks, and walked out of the viewing room and into the office across the lobby, where Evelyn was sitting. Her eyes burned when she blinked and her mouth was dry, but she was almost done.

  “He looks fine…just fine, Mrs. Harper. I can’t thank you enough for all you did.”

  Evelyn Harper politely ignored Dori’s appearance as she opened a desk drawer and pulled out an envelope.

  “It was our honor. I need to give you this. It was in the pocket of Meeker’s blue jeans.”

  Dori took the envelope and quickly opened it. A long, flat key fell out in her hand.

  “It looks like a key to a safety-deposit box,” Evelyn said. “I thought you might need it.”

  Dori was stunned that he’d thought to take it with him when they’d left the house. She’d have to let Peanut Butterman know.

  “Thank you very much,” Dori said.

  Evelyn nodded. “So, do we have your approval to open the viewing room to the public?”

  “Yes,” Dori said, then slipped the key into her pocket and walked out.

  The drive back to Johnny’s house was anticlimactic. She’d seen Granddaddy’s body and faced the fear without losing her mind. By the time she pulled up into the drive and killed the engine, she was numb.

  Oblivious to the fact that the porch light was out, she got out of the car with her feet dragging and then sensed movement in the dark and looked up.

  Johnny walked out of the shadows.

  She paused.

  “He’s in bed asleep,” he said, answering her question about the baby before she could ask.

  She shuddered.

  He opened his arms.

  She walked into his embrace and closed her eyes.

  “You did it, girl,” he said softly and cupped the back of her head with one hand and slid the other one across her back.

  He didn’t want to feel a connection with her, but he did; whether it was empathy or something more didn’t matter. For as long as she needed him, he was here.