I'll Stand By You

by Sharon Sala

  Dori looked up. His face was a blur. She was crying and hadn’t even known it. She tried to pull her hand away again, but he wouldn’t let go. It was the firm, steady grip that finally broke her—a feeling that no matter what she said, he wouldn’t turn away.

  “I couldn’t tell. Granddaddy would have killed him.”

  Johnny flinched. The look on her face was one of such devastation that he knew what had happened without hearing the word.

  “Where is he now?” Johnny asked.

  “I don’t know and I don’t care,” Dori whispered. “I went to a dance at the school gym. There were a few people there I didn’t know—party crashers I guess—and I think someone slipped something in my drink. I got dizzy. Someone took me outside to get some air. I don’t remember a lot except his face and me telling him no, telling him to stop.” Her shoulders slumped. “But he didn’t. And now I have Luther. I don’t understand why I had to go through all that to have him, but I know with everything I am that he was supposed to be mine.”

  Rage swept through him so fast it took his breath away. He kept looking at her, imagining her fear, hearing her cries for help while no one came.

  “Do you know his name?”

  “Just his first name,” she said.

  “Does he live here in Blessings?” he asked.

  “I don’t know where he lives,” Dori said. She slipped her hand out from beneath his grasp and covered her face.

  Johnny’s voice was so soft, she almost didn’t hear it.

  “The son of a bitch,” he whispered. “Why didn’t you tell? Why would you let everyone in Blessings believe the worst of you?”

  She looked up. “Granddaddy would have gone looking for him with a gun. Someone would have died, and someone else would have gone to jail. Either way, it would have made my life worse and it wouldn’t have changed a thing. It’s always the girl’s fault, Johnny. Don’t you know that? I didn’t want my baby to grow up knowing he was born from an act of violence. It’s better people think that it was me being foolish. I won’t have him thinking he was a mistake.”

  Johnny got up from the table and dumped his food. He couldn’t swallow. When Dori followed him to the cabinet, he took the plate out of her hands and pulled her into his arms.

  She stiffened.

  “It’s a hug, nothing more.”

  His arms were so strong, and she could feel his heartbeat against her cheek. Before she knew it, she was sobbing; fifteen long months of shock, horror, and misery came bubbling up, and Johnny didn’t let go.

  Chapter 13

  Dori had moved the playpen into her bedroom for the night and was giving Luther a bottle. The rocker creaked every now and then, but Luther’s eyes were nearly closed. The milk in his mouth was running down the side of his cheek. He was already too far gone to swallow.

  She set the bottle aside, put him on her shoulder, and began to pat his little back in a steady, rhythmic thump as she continued to rock. One good burp and she’d put him down.

  She glanced at the clock.

  Johnny had been gone for hours. He would have picked up his brothers at school a long time ago, and she thought they would have come straight home. But they hadn’t.

  She was a little worried about what she’d told Johnny. He knew her secret now, and while he seemed very supportive, she was afraid that he’d come to judge her. She wouldn’t stay here if that happened. She couldn’t. No matter what kind of hardship it caused.

  Luther grunted and shifted uncomfortably in her arms. The gas on his belly was hurting, but she just kept patting and rocking.

  She was dreading the funeral tomorrow and at the same time was so ready for it to be over. They were serving a meal at the church before the service, and even though they didn’t have any family left, her grandfather had made a lot of friends during his lifetime. They would be there and so would she.

  Luther finally burped and went limp.

  She kissed the side of his cheek, loving the silky-soft feel of baby skin on her lips, and then laid him down in the playpen and covered him up. Bless Peanut Butterman for his thoughtfulness. She paused to make sure Luther was settled and then left him, confident he would be safe in the new bed.

  A car passed by out on the street with a radio playing so loud, she could hear the bass thumping from inside the house and hoped it didn’t wake Luther.

  Tonight they were eating the ribs and baked beans Ruby had brought, and Dori had made potato salad out of the leftover mashed potatoes from last night. When she got to the kitchen, she rinsed out the baby’s bottle and set it aside to wash with dishes later, then leaned against the cabinet as she looked around the room. It felt like she’d lived a lifetime in the short two days she’d been here. The house was even becoming familiar.

  The blue and white floor tiles were clean. The white walls were a little dingy and could have done with a coat of paint. The pale yellow oilcloth on the old wooden table was a bright note in the room, and the pendulum tail on the red rooster clock was still swinging, ticking off time.

  It was almost 5:00 p.m. She couldn’t imagine what was keeping Johnny and the boys. Still, they’d have to show up sometime, so she began to set the table.

  * * *

  Johnny was still in shock. He didn’t know how to cope with the revelation of Dori’s story without wanting to hit something. He understood why she hadn’t told Meeker Webb. She was right in believing that Meeker wouldn’t have stopped until he’d made the man pay. What Dori didn’t know was that Johnny felt the same way, even though she wasn’t his to protect.

  They had not discussed the funeral tomorrow beyond the fact that she would go. But after what she told him, there wasn’t a way in hell he was going to let her face her grandfather’s funeral alone. The gossips were already working their jaws about her presence in this house. Accompanying her to the funeral couldn’t make anything worse.

  This afternoon, he’d spent money he didn’t need to spend on three dress shirts for him and the boys. He already had a good pair of dress jeans, and the boys would have to wear school jeans. They wouldn’t be dressed fancy, but they wouldn’t embarrass her, either. What they all needed were haircuts, but when he’d called the Curl Up and Dye to ask if they had an opening, he’d been told no. He started to hang up when Ruby Dye picked up the phone.

  “Johnny Pine?”

  “Yes, ma’am?”

  “I thought I heard Vera say your name. What do you need, son?”

  “My brothers and I are taking Dori to the funeral tomorrow. I’ve been cutting our hair and it looks like it. I was wondering if you had any time this evening after school to trim us up?”

  “What time can you be here?” Ruby asked.

  “I pick the boys up at three thirty.”

  “Come straight here afterward. I’ll work you in,” Ruby said.

  “Yes, ma’am, and thank you,” Johnny said.

  He didn’t know what three haircuts were going to cost him, but it didn’t matter. He had a little money socked away for hard times. He’d make it work.

  He caught Miss Jane at school so she’d know he was taking the boys, and then he waited near her van for them to come out. When they saw him, they began to run, excited to be going home early with him.

  Beep came to a sliding halt at Johnny’s feet a few seconds after Marshall’s arrival.

  “Yay!” Beep said. “We get to go home with you.”

  “Can we get ice cream?” Marshall asked.

  “Let’s get in the car first, and I’ll explain,” he said.

  By the time the boys figured out there was no early playtime at home and it was haircuts instead of ice cream, they were verbally expressing their disapproval.

  “Look, guys. This isn’t punishment. Tomorrow is the funeral for Dori’s grandfather, and we’re gonna go with her to the church. We want to look our best, understand?”r />
  “Oh,” Marshall said and leaned back in the seat. “Will it be like Mama’s funeral?”

  Johnny sighed. Nothing would be like that funeral. One spray of flowers, no other family, and a few of the people she got high with.

  “Bigger,” he said shortly.

  Beep was confused. Church was just a building to him. “Is Mama gonna be there?” he asked.

  Johnny stifled a groan. “No, buddy, Mama’s not here anymore. She’s in heaven.”

  Beep’s shoulders slumped. “Okay.”

  Marshall patted his brother’s leg. “It’s okay, Beep. Mama wasn’t around all that much anyway, remember?”

  Johnny sighed. Out of the mouths of babes. “We’ll get ice cream another day, I promise,” he said.

  “When we get haircuts, can I get a ’hawk?” Marshall asked.

  Johnny frowned. “No, we’re not shaving heads in this family. You can comb it like that, but that’s enough.”

  Marshall nodded. He hadn’t expected a yes, but he’d had to ask.

  Then Beep had a question too. “Hey, Johnny?”

  Johnny glanced up in the rearview mirror. “What, buddy? And stop picking your nose.”

  Beep took his finger out of his nose and wiped it on his jeans. “Are they gonna cut my hair better than you do?”

  Johnny grinned. “I sure hope so.”

  “Okay,” Beep said, then leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes.

  Johnny could only imagine what he was thinking, then let it slide as he turned down Main Street and parked a half block away from the Curl Up and Dye.

  “Let’s go, guys. And please behave. We want to leave a good impression on people wherever we are, remember?”

  “I ’member,” Beep said. “I won’t pick my nose.”

  “Much appreciated,” Johnny muttered, and then they got out and headed down the street—one very tall young man and two mini-versions of the same, all with the same stride in their walk and the same expressions on their faces. It was as if they’d been born leading with their chins, expecting the worst out of life.

  * * *

  Ruby Dye was dead on her feet. Vesta was in the back, washing towels, and Vera was in the bathroom. Mabel Jean had gone to the Beauty Supply for extra shop supplies, and Ruby’s last appointment had been gone exactly three minutes when the bell jingled over the door.

  She turned around and smiled. The Pines had arrived.

  “Come on back,” she said.

  Johnny ushered them through the salon with a hand on each shoulder.

  “I really appreciate this,” he said.

  “It is my pleasure,” Ruby said. “And what a coincidence that you came in on Family Special Day. Today, all haircuts are half-price.”

  Johnny breathed a sigh of relief.

  “That’s good to hear,” he said. “Money’s always tight, which is why I’m the barber at home.”

  Ruby smiled and patted her chair.

  “Who wants to be first?”

  Beep’s hand shot into the air.

  “Me! Me! And I won’t pick my nose.”

  Johnny sighed.

  “Thank you for that info, Beep.” Ruby chuckled as she slid a booster seat into the chair.

  Johnny helped him up into the seat, still careful not to squeeze the ribs, and removed the mask for his nose.

  Ruby pointed to the empty chairs at Vesta’s and Vera’s stations.

  “You guys can sit there and watch.”

  Ruby eyed the little spots growing back in on the back of Beep’s head, where the hair had been cut away, and was horrified all over again that something that simple had caused such a horrible incident.

  “We’re just trimming you guys up, right?”

  “Right,” Johnny said.

  She combed through Beep’s hair to check length and the way the hair grew, and then she got to work. As soon as she’d finished, she moved him to the shampoo station and washed out the bits of hair, then used the blow-dryer to dry it.

  The minute the air blew across Beep’s face, he closed his eyes and hunkered down.

  “Is that too hot?” Ruby asked.

  “I don’t like it,” Beep said.

  Ruby turned it on low.

  “Is that better?”

  “Yeah,” Beep said.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Johnny corrected.

  “Yeah, ma’am,” Beep echoed.

  Ruby grinned. The kid was adorable.

  A few minutes later, she traded Beep for Marshall.

  “And you’re Marshall, right?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said and flashed a quick grin.

  She looked at Johnny and rolled her eyes.

  “Lord, Lord, this one’s gonna be a heartbreaker.”

  Johnny grinned as Marshall blushed. Ruby caped him up, then ran the comb through his hair. As she did, Marshall looked in the mirror in front of him and caught her eye.

  “Uh, ma’am?”

  “What, honey?”

  “Don’t cut too much off. I like to wear my hair in a ’hawk.”

  “Will do,” she said and patted his shoulder. “Trust me. I’m a fan of the ’hawk myself, but not the buzzed kind. How about you?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Pines don’t buzz their hair,” he said.

  Johnny couldn’t look at Marshall without a lump in his throat. He’d never thought about the bond between them so much until Beep got hurt, and now it was all he thought about. The boys were his life, but as Ruby just reminded him, they would grow up and be gone. Then where would he be?

  He thought of Dori again and willed himself not to care. He was only helping, not getting attached to someone who would likely never trust another man for as long as she lived.

  Ruby went through the same routine with Marshall and then got Johnny in the chair. His hair was just as thick and just as black as the boys’, and it had the same little cowlick in the crown.

  “Anything special here?” she asked.

  Johnny met her gaze in the mirror.

  “Just make me presentable. I don’t want to embarrass Dori.”

  “I can do that,” Ruby said and got down to business.

  When she’d finished, they looked like three versions of the same person—small, middle-sized, and full-grown—and all of them lookers.

  “That does it,” Ruby said and glanced up at the clock. It was a quarter to five.

  “How much do I owe you?” Johnny said as he pulled out his wallet.

  “Family special—eighteen dollars for the trio.”

  Johnny took a twenty-dollar bill out of his wallet and handed it over.

  “Thank you for taking us at such short notice,” he said.

  “Follow me to the front and I’ll get you your change.”

  “No, ma’am, you keep it, and I’m sorry it’s not more,” he said, and then they were gone.

  Vesta and Vera came out of the workroom, grinning from ear to ear. “We heard everything. You weren’t running any family specials. You’re a pushover, Sister, and we love you for it. As for those guys, they’re adorable. And that Johnny…do you think he likes Dori Grant?”

  Ruby shrugged.

  Vesta stared off into space.

  “I think he does. I wish they could get together somehow. It’s like they sort of need each other. Know what I mean?”

  “You don’t hook up with someone because of necessity,” Vera stated.

  “I don’t know why not,” Vesta argued. “These days some people do it for no reason at all.”

  Ruby sighed. She’d had enough of customers and arguing and haircuts.

  “We don’t have any more appointments, and unless you two want to stay here and close on your own, I’m shutting this place down.”

  The back door opened and Mabel Jean ca
me in, loaded with sacks.

  “Help,” she cried.

  They ran to relieve her of the supplies and began putting them up.

  “That does it,” Ruby said and headed to the front of the shop and turned the Open sign to Closed.

  She began counting the money in the till to deposit in the bank as Mabel Jean swept up the floor.

  Vesta put the last of the clean towels in the cubbies, and Vera quickly cleaned out the shampoo bowls.

  As soon as Ruby had the money in the deposit bag, they were gone.

  * * *

  Dori was on the verge of being really concerned when the Pines finally came home, and then she realized she’d become far more invested in their world than she had intended.

  Two days and now they mattered? She wasn’t going to go there, yet when the trio came barreling through the door with big smiles on their faces, her heart skipped a beat.

  Yeah, they mattered. But she wouldn’t let it be too much.

  “Hey, you guys look happy.”

  “We got haircuts so we’ll look nice for the church,” Beep announced and then strode down the hall with his backpack to dump it in his room, with Marshall behind him.

  Johnny shut the door and turned to face her.

  “We’re going with you tomorrow. You don’t do this alone.”

  “Oh my God,” Dori muttered as her eyes filled with tears. “I’ve cried more in the last two days than I’ve cried in my whole life. I didn’t expect you to do this, but I won’t lie. I am so grateful.”

  Johnny relaxed, thankful his instincts had been right. Then he held out the sack with their shirts.

  “I got dress shirts for us. Should I wash them first, or just iron them and put them on?”

  “Give them to me,” Dori said, wiping away tears. “We’ll wash them first, or they’ll feel scratchy from all that sizing. Let me see the tags…oh, good. Wash and wear!”

  “I’ll put them in the wash,” Johnny said.

  “Then I’ll heat up supper.”

  “Deal,” he said and then looked around. “Hey, where’s little man?”

  “Asleep in the bedroom. That playpen is a gem. No more fear of rolling off the bed.”