by Hanna Hart
She knew this wasn’t exactly her shining moment, but she didn’t want Lauren to think poorly of her. She would never purposely use somebody like that.
“Stop, okay?” Sophia continued. “I'm sorry if you think I was being a jerk to Wesley. I was. I did something stupid, but I want to be with Nash.”
Lauren set her jaw. “And does Nash know about his daughter?”
“No, he doesn't know.”
“If you are going to go into this, you need to do it properly. You know that, right?” her friend said, gentler this time. “It can't be the way it was before. You have to mean it. Your whole heart has to be in it this time, Sophia.”
“It is,” Sophia insisted. I'm telling you it is.”
“Okay,” Lauren said, clearly resigned to her friend’s decision. “Then you have to tell him about Imogene.”
“I'm not ready to do that,” Sophia said as she drove the pair back to her farmhouse on the property.
“Sophia!” her friend scolded. “What your doing isn't fair. You're going to rope him in, make him care about you, and then drop the news on him. You can't do that. You have to be upfront so that he knows what he's getting into—”
Sophia went to interrupt, but Lauren kept talking. “And give him a chance to get to know his daughter. Do you know how betrayed he's going to feel if you date him for a month and then spring it on him?”
Sophia felt her whole body sink. She knew Lauren was right, but telling Nash was a whole other problem. Right now, she just wanted to deal with Wesley.
“I know but...” she trailed off, feeling like a child. “How am I supposed to tell him? What am I supposed to say?”
“The truth works pretty well.”
“That I was angry?” Sophia said. “That I felt abandoned by him? That I kept him from his daughter?”
She could feel the emotions getting the better of her, and she could tell Lauren must have seen it too because suddenly, her friend’s demeanor softened.
“Hey...” Lauren cooed, reaching a hand over to rub Sophia’s back. “He left, remember?”
“Yeah. See? I don't like this!” Sophia said, trying to keep her composure. It brings up all of these angry feelings.”
“Don't tell me being around the guy hasn't brought up a swarm of emotions already,” her friend said knowingly.
She was right, of course.
“Yes, it has,” Sophia admitted. “I've thought about everything from getting together to breaking up and everything in between. All of those little moments, but…I'm scared.”
“I know.”
“I'm scared he'll be angry and he won't want to be with me anymore,” Sophia said, her throat going tight.
“And I think it's good to acknowledge that outcome as a very real possibility, okay?” Lauren said, and as soon as the words left her mouth, Sophia started crying. “But if it makes you feel any better, I think it's the right thing to do, and do you know what else?”
“What?” Sophia asked.
“I don't think the outcome is going to be bad. Now come on,” Lauren said with a smile, wiping the tears from her friend’s face. “Buck up, bestie. You have some breaking up to do.”
Three days ago, breaking up with Wesley seemed like an uncomfortable chore. But at least she knew that once it was done, she could let her real-life begin.
Sophia had already told Imogene that she and Nash were special friends and that Nash would be around a lot more often.
Imogene had no complaints. She seemed excited by it. She and Nash had a natural connection, and even at two years old it was as though the toddler could sense that this was the family she was always supposed to have.
During her pregnancy, Sophia wondered what kind of mother she was going to be. She worried constantly that she would end up a carbon copy of her mother—distant, uninterested in having a connection to her child.
But after Imogene was born, something changed in Sophia. The first time she held that little baby, she felt a love that she never knew existed.
She remembered looking down and thinking, there’s Nash.
As Imogene continued to grow, she began to look like a healthy mix of the two of them, but as a baby, she was the spitting image of her father.
This is mine, she thought, looking down at the newborn wrapped in a little peach blanket. She smelled so good, she remembered.
Sometimes she would get up in the night and catch Imogene sleeping in her crib. She knew she shouldn’t disturb her daughter’s sleeping schedule, but on occasion, she would reach down and pick her up just to smell her.
Holding her close, she would look at her tiny fingers and button nose and wonder how something so soft and gentle could make a mother feel so fiercely primal and protective.
At that moment, Sophia realized that she could never be like her parents. She would never have it in her to abandon her daughter. She loved Imogene too much to ever want to be anywhere without her.
Lauren was right, Sophia thought. She needed to tell Nash the truth. She owed Imogene that much.
But for now, she had to get a handle on the boy who liked her.
She met Wesley for coffee. He kept insisting that they head out to dinner, but Sophia didn’t want dinner. She wanted a quick coffee that she could walk away from as soon as it was over.
Just as Nash predicted, Wesley was eager to tell her exactly how he felt about her.
“I love you,” he said, reaching across the table to grab her hand.
They sat in a corner booth, her sipping a decaf coffee and he blowing on a white tea.
Sophia looked him over and watched as he nervously fixed his fair hair behind his ear. She studied the friendly features of his face and offered him a sympathetic smile.
“I know it's hasn’t been that long,” he said nervously, obviously feeling the need to defend himself. “But I know what I like, and I like you very, very much, Sophia. I love you. Whenever I'm with you, I feel so alive. Is that stupid? It's cheesy, right? See! You make me say cheesy things. That's how crazy about you I am.”
“That’s sweet, Wesley,” she said softly. “And I have loved spending time with you and believe me when I say you're more than I deserve. You are exactly what I have been hoping to find since Imogene was born.”
“But...?” Wesley said, his smile fading into a nervous swallow. “Sophia, talk to me. What's wrong?”
“It's Nash,” she said.
She knew Nash didn’t want to be brought into it, but she wanted to be honest. Wesley deserved that much, at least.
“Why?” he asked, raising his brows curiously. “What did he say?”
“It’s…” she trailed off; shrugged. “It's the history.”
“Is he bothering you?” he asked, his voice thick with concern. “Look, I know he can be hard sometimes, but it's just because he's going through a rough time right now. I'm sorry if he's making things difficult for you, but look, he's my best friend and—”
“No, no,” she interrupted. “He isn't bothering me at all. It’s…” she looked down into her lap, pulling her hand away from his. “It's complicated.”
Wesley stayed silent. He looked down at his tea, then over at her coffee, likely realizing that neither one of them would be finishing their beverages.
“Look, Wesley, you're a nice guy, and I just want to be honest with you; I don't think I see a future for us together.”
There, she thought. I’ve ripped the bandage off. Can we all go home now?
“What?” was all he said.
“I know, I'm so sorry,” she winced. “I wanted to break it off at the baseball game but, I felt so bad about your mom, and even the way you're looking at me right now makes me feel absolutely horrible, but the thing is, I just don't think we're right for each other.”
Wesley’s eyes darted back and forth from hers, and he seemed to take a private moment to consider her words.
“Alright,” he said slowly. “I wish you had told me this sooner.”
“I'm really sorry,�
�� she said genuinely.
“It's okay,” he said, then exhaled a full breath. “Really, it's okay. It sucks to put your heart out on the line, but, hey, you can't live life without taking a couple of risks.”
He looked embarrassed, but his kind smile stayed in-tact as he spoke to her, proving that he was, in fact, the perfect man.
The two of them talked for a few minutes more; Sophia apologizing profusely for not returning his feelings and Wesley continuing to be the nicest guy in the world.
As they walked out to their cars and said their goodbyes, Wesley said, “Sophia?”
She turned back and then walked over to his car.
“It's weird how you can be so wrong about something,” he said, and she could tell the sadness was setting in. “The thing is, I've never been in this situation before. I've never liked someone who didn't like me back.”
“Then you're lucky,” she smiled.
“There's a part of me that's screaming to ask you if we can still be friends, but to be honest, I don't know if I could be your friend, Sophia.”
“I completely understand,” she said with a nod. “I hope you can one day because you're a great friend to have, Wesley.”
“Yeah,” he said, offering a sad laugh. “Hey, you know what I don't understand?”
“What's that?”
Wesley pressed his lips thin, considering his question before asking, “What does Nash have to do with all of this?”
“What do you mean?”
“Before,” he said. “You said it was about Nash. You said, 'it's complicated.’”
“Yeah, I guess I meant...”
“That you still have feelings for him?” he surmised, and she nodded.
“Yes,” she admitted. “And I think I owe it to myself to explore it. Sorry.”
“You can't help who you love, I get it,” he nodded. “It’s just…I don't know how well it's going to work out for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nash is in love with Kenzie,” he said simply. “He's in mourning, and I think anything that happens with him now is just a rebound for his loneliness. Does that make sense?”
“A lot of sense, actually,” she said, not entirely disagreeing with him. “Thanks for the warning.”
“You take care of yourself, Sophia. Imogene, too.”
“Thanks.”
And with that, the saga of Wesley was finally over.
She hoped, anyway.
Before heading home, Sophia picked Imogene up from Lauren’s house. The two picked up some takeout for dinner and ate in front of the television.
When they were finished eating, Sophia had the overwhelming urge to go to Nash's house and celebrate. She felt bad about the breakup, of course; Wesley was a sweet guy, and she hated hurting his feelings. But she was excited to be with Nash unencumbered.
Yet, when she grabbed her car keys off of the key rack by the door, she felt frozen in place.
Sophia held the warm keys in her hand and couldn't bring herself to take another step.
“Mama, are we leaving?” Imogene asked.
“I don’t know, honey,” she said slowly.
She knew Nash would want to see her. He knew the breakup was happening tonight. But she also knew that she was now onto the second phase of this journey—and that phase meant telling Nash about his daughter.
Chapter Seventeen
Nash
It felt like life was an endless list of events
Asking for Sophia's hand, getting his heart broken, buying the ranch and moving to Tillsonburg, marrying Kenzie, losing her in death, Sophia moving next door, the tornado, their reunion, and then Sophia leaving Wesley.
Everything seemed to come back to Sophia, and they could finally be together.
Today was their one-month anniversary, and Nash was happy to have the Wesley business behind them,
Wesley did not ask if Nash and Sophia were a couple, but Wesley wasn’t talking much to Nash at all these days—so he probably knew the answer to his unspoken question.
Nash felt bad. Wesley had been there for him after Kenzie’s death and had been a wonderful friend to him, but these were also the reasons he knew the friendship they’d built could overcome Sophia.
As he predicted, Nash was no longer sleeping at the ranch. He now spent most nights with Sophia.
He loved waking up to a house that was full of life. He loved bringing Sophia coffee in bed and the sound of Imogene giggling and playing in the living room.
They were a family, and he loved that feeling.
Nash had just put Imogene to bed, reading her Sophia’s old paper copy of Charlotte’s Web, and swore that he was more invested in the story than the toddler was. When she fell asleep before he finished chapter eleven, he felt disappointed.
He made his way back downstairs to the bright living room and sat on the couch.
Sophia came up behind him, putting her hands over his eyes and sweetly whispering, “I want you to know that I love you.”
His brows shot up, and he craned his neck back to look at her.
“Is that too soon?” she asked.
“No, not at all,” he said with a smile. “I’m happy to hear it.”
“I just figure...” she began, trailing off into a shrug. “It's not like the love I had for you went anywhere, you know?”
“No?”
She shook her head and crawled onto the couch next to him. “I loved you, then we had what I am calling a brief three-year hiatus, and now instead of falling in love with you all over again, I have just unpaused the love I had for you before.”
“Yeah?” he chuckled before leaning in to kiss her.
“What about you?” she said, nudging him, clearly hoping to hear the sentiment back.
Nash loved Sophia—there was never any doubt of that. But his hadn’t been as instant as hers seemed to be.
Because Nash did fall out of love with Sophia when he fell in love with Kenzie.
“I did fall in love with you all over again,” he said, brushing a hand through her hair. “But I like your method too.”
“You fell in love again?” she asked in a small voice. “You couldn’t unpause?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Because you're different. You're...”
“What?”
He smiled as he watched her, unable to find the right words. “I don't know. You're the Sophia I always wanted to meet. I don't feel afraid this time.”
“Reading between the lines, you are saying you're in love with me, yes?” she grinned.
“Yes,” he said. “I do love you.”
“Good,” she said, and they both laughed.
She looked happy with his answer, but there had been something off about her all day. She seemed restless, and he wasn’t sure why.
He could tell she was nervous as she began wringing her hands, and his assumption was validated as he heard the shaky way she said, “So, I was hoping that we could do a little reminiscing tonight.”
“Uh-uh,” he said, shaking his head.
“No, no!” she smiled. “Good reminiscing! No bad stuff, I promise.”
“Alright,” he agreed and watched as she walked across the room to an antique buffet up against the wall.
Sophia knelt and pulled a white photo album from one of the cupboards. She brought it back to the couch and inhaled sharply as she set it in his lap.
“Wow! You have a photo album and everything,” he mused.
“I came prepared,” she said, opening the album to a quarter way in. “So, this is you and I at Greg Garrison's party. I think this was only like, a week after we met?”
“Horrible party,” he said with amusement.
“Awful!” she agreed playfully. “I'm pretty sure you and I just ended up in one of the attic bedrooms talking about conspiracy theories.”
“Because did we land on the moon?” he winked.
“College graduation,” she said, her finger trailing the page to a photo of Nash with his gradu
ation cap on, his eyes crossed and him sticking his tongue out to the side.
Next to the photo of his graduation was Sophia’s the following year, her mimicking his expression perfectly.
“That was the first time I ever saw all of your brothers in the same place,” she laughed. “I remember thinking, whoa! They’re like a cowboy army!”
He remembered his graduation well. He had a giant crush on Sophia and worried the whole day that one of his brothers was going to say something stupid about it.
“Then this is us at Gage's ranch,” Sophia continued, going through pages and pages of the second Havenview Ranch construction site. The two of them worked tirelessly on that ranch and had no regrets.
“Then there’s us as Phoebe's wedding,” she said and he looked down at the photo, wondering what in the world he was thinking, letting his hair grow out like that.
“Yeah, they married when they were like, what? Eighteen?” he snorted.
“Yep. The day after she turned eighteen!”
“Think they're still together?” he teased and was surprised as Sophia began nodding.
“They are! They have two kids!” she exclaimed. “Can you even believe it?”
“Wow,” he said with a breath. “Good for them. That was a fun wedding.”
The two of them continued to look through the photos and for once, it felt good to reminisce.
There was no pain to look back on anymore, because even though their relationship hadn’t worked out the way he’d hoped at the time, there was still going to be a happy ending for them—regardless of what happened in the middle of their story.
“So, this is me three months pregnant,” Sophia said hesitantly, flipping the page of the photo album.
In the picture, Sophia stood by the doorway of her apartment in black leggings and a coral dress overtop. Her dark hair was pulled up. She looked exactly the way he remembered her when they broke up. He couldn’t even tell she was pregnant from the photo.
“You don’t look like it,” he mused, tracing a finger over her stomach in the photo.
“Oh, I was,” she laughed. “I was throwing up like crazy, and literally all I wanted was pickles.”