No Fear

by Heather Allen

  He stops a few feet from us, his face not telling me what I want to know fast enough. I push Christina away a little, shifting her into my side. The words tumble out again. “Where’s Trinity?”

  “Parker came to get her right after you disappeared.”

  I frown, trying to understand what he’s saying.

  “Grey, let’s go sit down. Do you need anything to eat or drink?” I shake my head, still fervently wanting to know where Trinity is, if she’s safe.

  “Have you heard from her? Where’s my phone?”

  Jackson tries to calm me down. “She’s fine. She called a little while ago to congratulate you, but we told her you would call as soon as you got home.”

  I kiss Christina’s head before walking down the hall toward the kitchen. My phone is on the counter. I grab it to see four missed calls, all from Trinity. I thumb the button to call her back. She picks up on the first ring. “Grey?”

  Relief… “Yeah, Trin. You okay?”

  “I should ask you. After the fight, I went to find you and you were MIA. Is everything okay?”

  Now is my chance. I open my mouth to lay it all out there, but a hand on my arm stops the words. Jackson looks at me, sadly shaking his head. I’m confused and frown angrily at him.

  He shakes his head, mouthing the words, “Not yet.” What the hell?

  “Um, yeah, I’m good. Everything is fine.”

  “Well, I guess this means you get what you’ve always wanted now.”

  She seems off. Her voice seems bothered. “What’s that, sis?”

  “You and Parker. I know about that first day at Carlo’s gym when you got out of jail. Parker told me how hungry you were. That’s why I kept encouraging you to go for it. I know this means everything to you.”

  The memory comes back. I remember it well—the only time Parker and I have been on the mat together. I insisted on it that day, even though Carlo was adamant about not doing it. I knew, though, that Parker wanted to know too, and he beat my ass. Now…I’ll get the chance with Luciano’s blessing, but I have to give it to him. It won’t be a real match. My head hangs with the thought, but I can’t let what happened to Chris happen again. Not to anyone I love or care about.

  I ask, “What’s wrong? Why the reminiscing?”

  “Oh, I just don’t know who to root for. I love Parker so much, but I love you too, Grey. I know how important this is for you.” I glance at Jackson while she speaks. He and Christina have relocated to the table. She is holding a steaming cup of coffee as if it’s a lifeline. They both seem somber and relieved that I’m here, but maybe there’s something I’m missing.

  “Hey big bro’, you there? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad this is going to finally happen. I just have mixed emotions about it. I guess it’s maybe the wedding too. Only two more days, can you believe it?”

  This shakes my thoughts away. I glance at the calendar on the kitchen wall, the only thing in the wide white expanse by the table. November 5th is circled. I hadn’t realized how close it is.

  “No, I can’t, actually. Trin, I think we need to talk.”

  Christina bounces out of her seat, shaking her head and waving for me to stop. What is with them? She needs to know. But they probably have a reason.

  “Actually, I have to go. Can we talk soon?”

  “Of course. Congratulations on the win. I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thanks, sis; see you soon.”

  I sink into the only other chair as I end the call. Looking back and forth between them, I say with a sigh, “Why can’t I tell Trinity?”

  Christina seems to sink further into her chair. I grab her hand, squeezing it and needing to touch her, probably just as much as she needs it. Jackson explains, “Parker called a while ago. He was pretty angry, and he scared Christina out of her mind. He said that Luciano took you to teach you a lesson for not listening. He threatened her and said if you told Trinity about all this, he would give her to Luciano.”

  I shake my head over the whole thing. I hate him so much more now than I did when I first met him. I knew back then that he was rotten. I just didn’t know how deep it ran. Now my sister is so deep in this thing.

  “She needs to know, especially now. I can’t let this wedding happen. It’s bad enough that they are already married, but I have to let her make her own choices. She needs this information about Parker to make her own decision.”

  Christina’s voice is barely a whisper. “Are you okay, Rookie? I thought you’d be furious when you heard what he said. You’re taking it pretty good.”

  “I am,” I admit. “But there are so many things…”

  “Luciano killed Chris, right in front of me.” I can’t continue. Just getting the words out makes it so much more real.

  On the way back home, I found a phone and called Frank. He was broken but not surprised. I’m still shocked by just that. Who goes around killing people because they stole money? Frank told me that Chris had been doing Luciano’s books for years and dipping into the cash. He knew at some point it would catch up to him. Frank admitted that he had tried to talk Chris out of it for a long time, but he was stuck on the easy money. He said he would take care of everything. I didn’t want to hear anything else, so I hung up.

  Somehow this life that I wanted has gotten away from me. It’s out of control and nothing like I had expected.

  Christina sighs as more tears run down her cheeks. Jackson leans in, his tatted arms resting far onto the table. “He did what?”

  I take a deep breath and relate all the gory details as they happened, trying not to leave out anything. These two have become so important to me, my own life lines. Without them I’d be gone, probably like Meyer. He never had a chance, maybe because we all turned our backs on him. For a bit he had Jimmy, but look where that shithead is. Gone, such a coward.

  When I’m finished, my voice trails off and they sit silently, digesting my words. I don’t want to make any decisions about what to do next. I want to hear what they have to say. Watching Luciano’s thug kill someone had the effect on me that he had intended. The last thing I want is to cause it again, and he is completely capable of doing it.

  Christina is the first to speak. “Where is Meyer? Why would they take him?”

  I’m surprised that her first concern is Meyer, but it makes sense. He is pretty helpless. No one looks after him. Maybe still being furious at him for taking Christina is too harsh. If it was his idea, maybe I can forgive that more easily. I shake my head to dispel the thoughts. Who am I kidding? He’s an ass, and I have every right to be angry.

  “Don’t know and, really at this point, don’t care.”

  Jackson seems still deep in thought when I glance his way. Christina keeps on, though. “Grey, I really think he’s in trouble. Would Luciano kill him too?”

  Jackson looks up at the exact moment the thought occurs to me. I think he has the same thought. I let him speak before I voice my suspicions.

  “What if Meyer is leverage? Luciano knows that killing Chris would have had an effect on you, Grey. What if he took Meyer because he was there and also threatened?”

  I nod, thinking the same thing. As much as I don’t want to put it into words, it’s necessary. “He’ll kill Meyer if I win against Parker.”

  Jackson nods. None of us needs to voice any more thoughts. Christina sinks her head into her hands. I want to go upstairs and close the world away at that moment…to live with her and forget any of this ever happened. But now I must think about my childhood friend and, most important, saving him or getting the fight I’ve been waiting for.

  Chapter 28

  Jackson left the house hours ago. After Christina made us some sandwiches and we each downed a beer or two, we ended up on the couch. Tired of thinking and worrying, we watched a horror flick. It didn’t exactly have the desired effect, but it did force her to snuggle closer into my side. I loved the chance to touch her. We’ve had too many close calls lately. Neither one of us would live through the loss of the oth
er, which is another thing to consider. As the movie ends and the credits scroll across the screen, I lean in to whisper in her ear. “Are you ready for bed? Do you want to go upstairs?” She holds my hand tighter against her leg and shakes her head. I shift, lifting her body onto my lap, with her back against the arm rest and legs draped over my legs. I stroke her cheek, pushing her long layers away from her face. My lips graze the bare skin of her shoulder. As I lift my face and pepper kisses along the soft skin, I tell her, “I know this is hard. In fact, it’s impossible. But I know, somehow, we’ll come out of it.” I look up, my eyes meeting hers. “I have to believe that. You have to believe that.”

  Her hands move up to hold my head. She smooths them against my hair. “Greylan, I can’t go through that again. I thought…I thought you were dead. I was so scared.” Her voice breaks with emotion as her sentence ends. My heart breaks for her. Just a couple of days ago, I was thinking the same thing about her when Meyer pulled that stunt.

  I pull her off of me and set her body on the couch. When I stand, I lift her into my arms and carry her lithe body up the stairs. She kisses my cheek and neck as we ascend the steps. This woman in my arms is everything. I can’t let anything happen to her. She is now my sole reason for breathing. I know with these thoughts that I’m going to walk away from fighting, and it will be alright.

  If someone would have asked me that a year ago, I would have flipped out at anyone even suggesting it. Now, though, it’s okay. I’m okay. We’ll be okay.

  Her breathing against my neck has evened out by the time we cross the threshold of the room. I place her carefully on the bed. She rolls over, releasing my neck. I climb out of my shirt and shorts, leaving on only my boxers, and slide in next to her. She rolls over with the movement, placing her hand on my chest. Her mouth moves to my ear and takes it between her lips. The sensation alights the rest of my body. She whispers sleepily, “Greylan, please make love to me. I’m not ready to close my eyes yet.”

  I don’t need any further encouragement. Slowly I move my hands up her arms, taking long strokes and basking in the goose bumps that appear in their wake. I lower my fingers to her shirt, lifting it carefully over her head. She moves to let it fall free. My hands lower to her shoulders and further down, cupping each of her perfect breasts; my hands move against them leisurely, causing her breathing to speed. She trails her hands to my boxers, teasing the skin at the waistband and taking long swipes with her perfect fingers. Neither of us hurries; I could bask in this, at this pace, all night. Loving her is what I want most. She kisses my neck in small, slow nips, causing a low moan.

  We remove the rest of our clothing, sliding skin against skin and savoring each and every touch; both of us are too emotional right now to rush anything. Her mouth moves over my skin, heating everything in the wake of her lips. My lips move to her chest, taking one and then the other nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue as she moans against my skin. Her legs wrap around me, squeezing for life.

  Finally I move back up, kissing her lips thoroughly as my hands find her core. She squirms in reaction and shifts as my fingers glide deeper. After long tender strokes, I pull away and replace my fingers with my length. She moans under me as we find a slow, even rhythm. All my senses are heightened, and the love I feel for this woman is almost more than I can contain. We both speed the pace and approach the cliff together, leaping as our climax heightens and we’re falling.

  After our lovemaking, neither of us moves to get up. We drift, falling finally into the abyss of sleep. The last thought I have is of Meyer. I argue with myself—save him or let him go?

  Mollie walks out into the alley. She seems distraught and out of place in a cream skirt, tall brown boots, and a white blouse. Her red locks are pulled together in a high ponytail. It makes me think of the real life she leads, with the mob. Not the person she was with me. She scans the alley, her green gaze landing on me. She hurries over, a rush of words leaving her mouth. “You have to fight, Greylan. Fight with everything you have to end this. Meyer’s life depends on it.” I frown with a thousand questions swirling around, but I can’t form any words. She turns a second later and she’s gone. On the other side, against the wall is Christina, her body in the clutches of Theodore James. He’s forcing her hard against the brick wall behind. She cries out and I’m moving. My hand comes up and a voice….”

  Grey, Grey; hey, wake up. Are you having a night terror?”

  I focus on that voice to bring myself out of that alley. My eyes flutter open. She’s above me looking down, worry across her features. I move my hand to her cheek, but that’s all the energy I have at the moment.

  “Did you have a bad dream?” Christina asks.

  I nod, trying to remember. “Yeah, it was different, but…”

  “You were shaking like you were so mad.” I can only imagine. My fucked-up head has now put her in Mollie’s place that night. You don’t have to be a genius to see what it means. Losing Christina would be the most horrifying thing for me.

  I roll off the bed to get up. I don’t want to dwell on the dream any longer. Obviously, I have some pretty tough decisions to make. What’s new?

  After breakfast Frank calls, making sure that I’m still going to show up to fight Andy in a few days. The last thing I want is to go back to that warehouse after what happened yesterday. It shocks me that he’s even concerning himself with fights after what happened to his partner. When I gave him a hard time, he explained that he needs to clean things up. Any money Chris contributed to the fights and gym was probably stolen, and he has to put out fires to stay afloat. I understand his point, but it still kills me that this is the norm here. After assuring him that I’d be there, I hung up and sat silently for a while. Christina went to straighten up the second floor. I know she has to keep herself busy in order to deal with this.

  Her clopping footsteps on the wooden steps brought me out of my thoughts. She seemed to be running and stopped, almost out of breath, at the doorway to the kitchen with a sheet of paper grasped in her hands. In a rush of breath, she states, “Meyer’s been back. I found this in his room. I swear it wasn’t there before.”

  I stand, crossing the room and taking it from her hand. She looks scared. I want to take it away. I vowed to show no fear, but this whole thing is scary. Why would he leave something in his room? There’s no guarantee we would go in there and invade his privacy. I look into her eyes one last time before scanning the paper. There are so few words jotted down in his sloppy handwriting, but they scream at me more than Meyer’s words ever have before.

  Grey, Buddy. Do what you’re meant to do. Fight Parker and win. I mean it, win. No matter what. -Meyer

  I sink back into the chair, more confused than ever. My dream had already fucked with my head. Now this. I know Meyer wrote it. I know he would do shit like this too—be a martyr because of the guilt.

  My brain is more scrambled now than it ever was. I can’t let them kill Meyer. I would never forgive myself for letting that happen if I can prevent it. He was there last night to hear Luciano’s warnings. He heard the order to lose. I sink my head into my hands, no closer to any decision. Christina sits across from me, silent in her own world. It seems more and more that our norm is trying to figure things out. I need to check up on Jackson and find out if he saw Andy today. Now this, I have to run it by him. Everything seems to be crashing together.

  “I think we need to tell Trinity about Parker.” The sincerity in Christina’s voice hits me.

  I look up, meeting her intense stare. I shift my eyes to the table, still not wanting to face my sister with all of this. She’ll not only hate Parker but me as well.

  “Grey, I mean it. She’s about to go through with this huge wedding and commit herself publicly to him. She needs to know what she’s signing up for. Let her make her own decision.”

  I ponder her words. I know she’s right, but it’s going to be so hard.

  “She’ll hate me,” I say simply, because that is the truth.

&nb
sp; She shakes her head, grabbing my hand with both of hers. “No, she won’t. She’ll be pissed as hell and won’t talk to you for a while I’m sure, but eventually…she’ll come around.”

  I sigh, resigned to let this happen. I’ve been fighting it, but I can’t any longer. Christina is right. “When should we tell her? I have to get her away from Parker after that, because of his threat.”

  “I was thinking I’d tell her. Tonight.”

  Crap, I forgot the bachelorette party. Frowning, not convinced this is the best plan, I ask, “Are you still going? It’s not a good idea.”

  She nods, her mind already made up, that stubbornness showing through. Usually I love that trait, but today I’m undecided. I know I won’t be able to convince her otherwise. I shake my head, but she doesn’t let me respond.

  “I’m going. You will plan the rest of this with Jackson so we can get the hell out of Dodge once and for all. I will handle your sister. She’ll be more receptive to me than you, anyway.”

  She smiles, her blue eyes twinkling when she finishes. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that certainty. I get up, pulling her into my arms. Before kissing her I tell her, “Christina Tate, do you know how much I love you?”

  She stands on her toes kissing me and whispering against my lips, “How about you show me?”

  I pull her to the stairs, but she yanks back on my hand. I look over, confused by her sudden refusal to follow. “I kinda liked being carried up the stairs last night. Just call me Princess Chrissy.”

  I laugh before scooping her up. “Your wish is my command, Princess Chrissy.”

  Chapter 29

  After Christina left—dressed in skin-tight white pants and a silver tank top, both of which I wanted to peel off of her and tried to convince her of it—I left too. I took the long drive to the gym. It was tough coming out here, knowing that Chris is gone. I don’t care what they all say about the guy; he didn’t deserve to die like that. And more than likely it was a warning for me, which is so fucked up.