The Trouble with Love

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The Trouble with Love Page 3

by Max Hudson


  When the crowd calmed down and took a breath, Samuel stepped forward. “I understand that you are all concerned and have a lot of questions. Let me say, Joan - it’s my understanding that you are a valuable teacher, something the school realized once Principal Sloan considered replacing you. As soon as she saw how much more qualified you were to teach technology, she realized she couldn’t lose you. That was when she decided to fill the V.P. position instead.”

  This comment got everyone’s attention. A few teachers even grinned at Joan. A woman sitting next to her grabbed Joan’s shoulder and whispered something into her ear which made Joan’s eyebrows go to her hairline. Whatever it was that had peaked their interest, they didn’t want to share, so Samuel continued.

  “And Joan is right. There should have been more transparency, but these things can get caught in the muck of school politics. Joan, I’m so sorry you feel that you were misled. That wasn’t my intention and it wasn’t right. It won’t happen again.”

  “Thank you, Vice Principal Taylor,” Joan said, her voice full of sincerity. “That’s all I ask.”

  “Now, I’ll take any further questions. Yes, over here.” Samuel led the remainder of the meeting with a lot of control and alacrity. All around the room, Tony saw shoulders relaxing, spines slumping as one by one, they began to accept the new guy. Tony kept his feelings at arms’ length. He wanted to wait and see how this new man would handle a real situation. Could he deal with fights? Bullying? Scandal? They would have to wait and see.

  “I’m afraid we’re out of time,” Principal Sloan said, stepping up and smiling at them all. No one returned the expression. “You’d all better get to your classrooms to shape young minds. We’ll see you at the staff meeting on Friday.”

  The teachers stood and went into work mode, stacking books and papers on top of one another. They all moved fast to the door, checking their watches as they went off to meet their students. Tony’s room was the closest to the gym, so he hung back so as not to get smooshed in the doorway.

  Samuel looked up from his talk with Sloan and made eye contact with Tony for a moment. He gave his new colleague a nod and Tony returned it, though he regretted the move within seconds. What was he thinking? He couldn’t have some secret alliance with the new V.P. Everyone would hate him. Besides, if Marcia was right and Samuel was gay as well, the two of them would need some space between them.

  Eventually, Tony stood and stretched, his back cracking a little. He grabbed his bag and headed out. He made sure not to look back as he walked out.

  He unlocked his classroom and got his computer fired up and then stacked up a class worth of essays. His first hour was his prep time, so he was looking forward to listening to The New News, his favorite radio show, while working his way through the stack.

  He got the show playing and reached for his red pen while the host of The New News introduced a panel of writers and comedians. The show took the past week’s events and turned them into answers in a game show. Tony loved it and never missed an episode. He had just gotten into a rhythm with his red pen while he yelled out the answers to the show when Samuel poked his head in.

  “What was that about the president?”

  “Oh.” Tony laughed, blushing as he did. “Sorry about that. Just a little game show I was listening to. It’s silly.”

  “It’s not The New News, is it?”

  The paper in Tony’s hand hit the desk with loud zip through the air. “You listen to it? It’s my favorite!”

  “Mine too.”

  The two men stopped and regarded each other for a moment, wondering what else they might have in common. Tony was so thrown by the sudden connection that he lost his train of thought. He looked at the paper in his hand, wondering whether or not he had read it, then back at his new boss.

  “Um, anything I can help you with?”

  “Actually, yes.” Samuel pulled a chair over. “May I?”

  Tony nodded and Samuel sat. “I understand,” he began, “that bullying has been a big problem at this school. I want to start a ‘kind workshop’ for the kids who are acting out, get them to think a little bit more about why they’re acting this way and help them find other outlets for their frustration. What do you think?”

  Tony drew in a long breath and then let it out as he tapped his upper lip with his pen. “I don’t know. We’ve tried similar tactics and we haven’t found that the kids respond to it well. The problem,” he said, crossing his ankle over his knee, “is that most of them see themselves as victims. They’ll be the first to tell you that none of what they do is their fault, so, why punish them? Why call them bullies when the real problem is everyone else? That sort of thing. How would you handle that?”

  Samuel smiled and leaned forward in his chair. “That’s actually a lot of what I dealt with in California. Bullies who could become victims at the drop of a hat. It’s amazing how good they are at that sort of thing.”

  Tony sat up, leaned a little closer as well. “What did you do?”

  “I heard them out, then asked them to role play a specific situation where they had felt justified in shaming someone or hitting. Then, I asked them to rewrite the incident and act it out again but with a different outcome.” Samuel gave Tony a little nod as he leaned back. Genius, right?

  Tony’s impressed posture turned to one of doubt. “I don’t know about this. It sounds a little, what’s the word, cerebral for our kids. I’m not so sure they can handle it.”

  Samuel’s face fell. “Really? You honestly feel that way?”

  The man looked so crushed Tony took pity on him. He thought before speaking, seeking the best way to say what he wanted to express so it would sting as little as possible. “Look.” He paused, recalibrating his words, then went on. “You’re the new guy here. The kids have a hard time with adults, especially adults they’ve never seen before. You have to factor that in. What's more, you’re from a more liberal and progressive place. We have some of that here, but it still raises some eyebrows.”

  Again, Samuel listened to everything Tony was saying, nodding a little as he listened. His respect for a teacher's opinion took Tony by surprise. He had grown accustomed to principals who just chuckled and patted educators on the back like small children if they were upset or excited about a new idea.

  “Okay. Okay,” Samuel said, nodding. Tony waited as his new administrator took in the advice. “So, it sounds like it may need some adjusting.” Just then, Samuel’s eyes lit up and he sat up straight with a renewed enthusiasm. “You could help me. We’ll rework it together. I’ll teach one the way I did back in California and you can observe and give me some notes.”

  Samuel waited for Tony’s answer; he wanted it to be a resounding “Yes!” but in reality, Tony felt uncertain about this request. The prospect of spending extra time with his new supervisor made him chew on his lower lip. “Is this guy into me?” he wondered. It was possible. He was new in town and in need of company.

  Unable to think of any reason to say no, Tony agreed to Samuel’s plan, though his gut coiled into a tight knot the moment he did so.

  “Thank you so much,” Samuel beamed, clapping him on the arm like a coach. Before he could stop himself, Tony hoped Samuel noticed his biceps. Maybe that gym membership would pay off after all.

  “I cannot tell you how grateful I am for this. I need a pet project and this means a lot to me. I don’t know about you,” he added as his voice lowered to a whisper, “but I hated high school. I was tormented every single day.”

  “And here you are working in education,” Tony joked, a smile on his face. He clapped his new boss on the shoulder and was shocked to find how lean and strong it felt. “And don’t mention it. Least I can do.”

  Samuel said his goodbyes and apologized for interrupting Tony’s prep time. He walked out whistling to himself and breezed down the hallway, nodding at students as he did so. They each gave him a confused look as he approached, wondering who this man could be who was so strange and overly friendly.


  The sight of it all made Tony chuckle to himself. It was a long time before he realized he’d lost most of his preparatory hour staring after Samuel and smiling at the thought of him.

  Chapter Five

  At home, Tony felt his phone vibrate and took it out to find a new message.

  Hey, handsome. The husband and I are thinking we’d like to sit out on the patio with a nice cold beer. Care to join?

  He smiled. It amazed him how happy he was to have the chance to hang out with Marcia. New people often made him uncomfortable, but he was more than happy to answer her text and say yes, he would be right over. She had a quality he responded to and he was in a hurry to be near it again.

  Marcia’s house was about ten minutes away from Tony’s place. While he preferred the downtown area, she and Hal had gone the more traditional route and purchased a three-bedroom house in the suburbs. The big, white house wasn’t Tony’s kind of place, but he had to admire the lovely home they had made.

  The place had a large front yard with a big, old tree bowing down to welcome anyone who approached. A homemade swing hung from the strong branches and Tony imagined it was a lovely thing to play on, even for adults.

  While all the houses in the big cul-de-sac were almost identical, Hal and Marcia’s had a bright red door which set it apart. There were also little pink flowers that lined the pathway to the entrance and he could see his new friends were not practiced gardeners. The plants angled in odd ways as if uncertain where to find the sun. While three or four flowers thrived, the rest were barely hanging on.

  He knocked and waited while footsteps ran to the door.

  “Hey!” Marcia gave him a big smile and a big hug. “There you are. Come in, come in. Hal,” she called down the hallway, “our guest is here.”

  “Tony, my man!” Hal’s voice floated down to them, disembodied from the rest of him. “Come join us outside.”

  They all settled onto the very comfortable patio furniture and Tony felt all his stress from the day melt away. He hadn’t realized just how tense he’d been. Between the morning drama, four different groups of jaded high school seniors, and some dispiriting grades he’d had to give out, he was feeling it.

  The three sipped their beers straight from the ice-cold bottles and talked about their lives, each trying to make the other two laugh as much as possible. Tony finished his first beer a little too fast, and Hal gave him a hard time as he reached for a second.

  “I know, I should pace myself,” he agreed. “Today was just one of those days. I have been through it.”

  “What happened?” Marcia inquired, handing him the bottle opener.

  “Oh, remember that Samuel guy? The one from guitar class?”

  They nodded. Yes, of course.

  “Okay, so today was his first day and everyone was out for his blood.” He recounted the intense morning meeting and his small audience looked beyond riveted. At one point, they made eye contact with one another and shook their heads in amazement. They appeared to be wondering if a school could be this complex and fascinating.

  “Then, the guy asks me to help me with this whole anti-bullying workshop.

  “No way! What did you say?” Marcia leaned as far forward as she could, elbows on her knees.

  “I don’t feel like I have much choice,” he answered as he studied the coffee table in the center of the group. “I mean, the guy is technically my new boss, whether I like it or not. I can’t just pout and refuse to work with him.”

  “He’s pulling the old divide and conquer on you,” Tony informed him while Marcia nodded.

  “Divide and conquer?”

  “It’s a classic move,” Hal explained. “He’s the new guy in town and he wants people to see he’s worth their time, but taking on a whole group will backfire. People feel strong in numbers. They can be dismissive, maybe rude. But,” Hal went, changing to a lighter tone. “If he wins one person over suddenly it’s ‘hey, maybe the new boss isn’t so bad. Tony likes him, perhaps I should give him a second chance. What’s the harm’?”

  Tony closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Oh my God. I actually thought for a minute that…well, it’s not important.”

  “No, tell us!” Marcia opened a new beer for herself. “What did you think?”

  Tony sighed. “I thought, for a second, that maybe, I don’t know, he wanted to spend more time with me because…well, because he was interested.”

  Embarrassed, Tony went back to his drink, upending the bottle and gulping the remaining beer. His friends didn’t respond but just considered his idea quietly between themselves.

  “I suppose…” Marcia began, then shook her head. “Well, I don’t want to assume. The guy just started at your school. All of this could mean literally anything.”

  “Don’t rule it out,” Hal jumped in. “But don’t hang on to that idea too much, either. Just play it cool.”

  “You’re asking a gay man to be aloof and protective of his feelings? Gosh, I’ll try.” The three of them laughed out loud and moved on to other topics, but Tony never forgot their sincere response to his theory. They hadn’t laughed at him or ruled out the possibility. That meant it had some potential. It was possible that Samuel liked him.

  The thought gave him a little thrill in his chest. But he didn’t follow it as it wrapped its way around his heart and stayed there. He needed to be ready to untie that emotion and set it free. Samuel could be anyone on the inside. He could be a terrible human being. Tony would just have to wait and see.

  The conversation went on and Kim came up.

  “Uh! I can’t,” Marcia sighed. “I mean she’s just a freight train of a human being.”

  “I get the impression she hasn’t had time to focus on a social life. Not if she just went through a messy divorce,” Tony offered. Marcia rolled her eyes.

  “Not an excuse,” she countered. “She’s a divorced adult with children. She's not allowed to be that excited about every little thing.”

  “I think she really admires you,” Hal told his wife, who looked at him as if he were some strange, new creature seated next to her.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well,” he explained. “I think she sees how confident you are and just wants to be around that energy. I’ve seen other women do the same thing. They like how sure of yourself you are.”

  Marcia fell quiet, then went back to drinking her beer. Once it was empty, she mumbled something about another round and went in the house. Hal gave Tony an apologetic smile.

  “She’s got a bit of an edge, but she’s just a big sweetheart.” He upended his beer, and Tony watched him for a second. Hal looked like the sort of guy who would model for a kayak or fishing line company; rugged and yet a little vanilla. He was nice to look at but still blended in everywhere he went.

  “Hey, you never told me,” Tony said, putting down his empty bottle. “Where did you two meet?”

  “In college.”

  Tony waited for more details, but that was the end of the story. He shrugged and excused himself, mumbling something about wanting to help Marcia. Hal nodded and settled in his chair to stare at something off in the darkness.

  Tony found Marcia in the kitchen putting beers in a cooler and offered to carry it for her.

  “Oh, yes. Thank you. Then, I can carry this.” She picked up a decanter full of scotch. “You boys can drink your beer. I’m going to indulge in some actual spirits.”

  “Scotch,” Tony admired. “Wow. That must knock you out for the night.”

  “Actually,” she said in her soft, warm voice, “it totally gets me in the mood. Watch how much Hal lights up when he sees the bottle.”

  They stepped out onto the patio and settled back into their seats. Marcia gave Hal a kiss on the cheek and then handed him a cold beer. “Here you go, sexy.”

  “Aw, shucks. I didn’t get you anything.”

  Marcia didn’t answer, she moved to her chair and brought out the scotch, pulling out the stopper with a loud thunk
, her eyes boring into Hal’s as she did so. The two men fell silent while she poured herself two fingers and then lifted the glass to her lips. Tony glanced at Hal and saw the barely contained excitement in his face. Marcia played it cool, drinking slowly and staring at Hal over the edge of the glass.

  Tony could see that things were about to get romantic and decided to go before creating any awkwardness. “Well, thanks for everything, but I better get some sleep.”

  His hosts asked him to stay, but there was no real effort to the request. Tony insisted he needed to get going, thanked them for the drinks, and slipped on his jacket. Marcia walked him to the door and gave him a hug.

  “You weren’t kidding about Hal,” he whispered to her. “I thought his ears were going to blow off his head.”

  “He’s so predictable,” she said with a little eye roll, but her smile gave her away. Her eyes sparkled at the mention of her husband and she bounced on her toes, anxious for Tony to leave so she could get back to the patio. He got in his car and she trotted back into the house to finish her drink and let it float her right into Hal’s arms.

  Tony drove home listening to his favorite eighties rock station, but he didn’t sing along like he usually did or even tap the steering wheel. He could feel a little weight settling into his chest that he had never noticed before.

  The feeling followed him home and into his bed, persisting like a pesky stone in a shoe or a sliver under the skin. He wondered what it was as he lay on his bed and scrolled through images of single men on the latest dating application on his phone.

  Face after face went past him on the screen. A lot of the guys made sure to lift their shirts to prove they didn’t have anything less than a perfect body. Others made sure to have their dogs in the picture to show they were relatable and loving. Tony could have sent them little winks or hearts, but instead he just stared at them as the never-ending gallery of gay men streamed across his screen.

 

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