The Trouble with Love

by Max Hudson

  Samuel gasped a few times, then cried out as Tony's mouth focused on the head of Samuel's cock, caressing it with his tongue. Tony took his cue and went back to suck him, harder and faster this time to bring him right to the brink. Samuel arched his back and grabbed a fistful of Tony’s hair, desperate to hold on to something solid as the room rocked and pitched with the force of his climax.

  “I’m cumming! I’m cumming!”

  Tony lifted and watched as the sperm shot out of the head of Samuel’s cock. The whole thing moved up and down like a little pump with the force of his orgasm. His shoulders and knees tensed up as it came to an end, then his whole body went limp, and he collapsed onto the mattress. A final twitch ran through him, a little aftershock after the quake, then he let out a satisfied sigh.

  “That. Was. Amazing.”

  Tony gave Samuel’s thigh a little smack just to tease him. “Why thank you.”

  Samuel opened his eyes and lifted his head a little to look at Tony. “You want one?”

  He declined. “That was just a little something to take away the day you had yesterday. No one should have to go through that nonsense.”

  Samuel fell back again and rubbed his eyes at the memory. “I just can’t believe how vindictive some people can be. The whole thing was extensive - a lot of speculation about what I might do or say at such an event. At least,” he closed his eyes and let out a sigh, “that’s what they said. Really it’s good old-fashioned homophobia.”

  Tony put up a hand to stop him. “We need to forget about all of this right now and focus on some brunch. What do you say?”

  Samuel cringed. “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer to stay in today.”

  Tony thought for a moment and then agreed. “Probably a good move. I’ll cook for us.”

  The two of them left their sexual antics on the bed and moved into the shower to wash off the night before. Tony washed Samuel’s hair, encouraging him to let the stress wash away as well.

  “You’re adorable,” Samuel said to him in a soft, sincere voice.

  “Well,” Tony demurred, “I do my best.” They pulled on their T-shirts and boxers and walked down the hall.

  In the kitchen, they had a look at the fridge and agreed on a classic breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast. Samuel put himself in charge of the coffee and Tony took over the rest. They put on the old movie channel and were thrilled to see an old restored musical was on.

  Just as they were singing along with their favorite number, Tony’s phone rang. Marcia’s name flashed across the screen and he dove to answer.

  “Marcia! My favorite broad. How are ya, my gal Friday?”

  “No time for movie references! Are you watching the news?”

  Tony froze. “No. Why?”

  “Turn on the MMN right now! They’re talking about you!”

  He hung up and clicked over to the news channel. To his complete surprise, security footage of his charge into the meeting was on the screen. The audio was muddy, so a transcript of everything he’d said streamed across the bottom of the image.

  He and Samuel stared, dumbfounded, as the previous day’s drama was shown and then discussed by the pundits on the show. Tony heard himself called a “social justice warrior,” but the man who said it gave the phrase a poisonous tone as if it were the worst thing on earth. The drama continued as comments from the station’s social media were displayed as part of the report. Person after person called Tony “a bad example” and “horrible.” The program ate it up, encouraging more people to jump in on the conversation and “Tell us what you think about this small town vigilante.”

  Samuel grabbed the remote and clicked it off. “Don’t listen to any of that. They must have had an extremely slow news day to report on a teacher crashing a meeting.”

  “I just…I don’t understand. Why would anyone care?”

  “Because I’m a hot button issue right now,” Samuel explained. He pulled Tony over to him so they could sit together on the couch. The two held hands and tilted their heads together. Tony wiggled his fingers against Samuel’s and snuggled closer. Samuel felt so steady and strong at that moment; Tony never wanted to let go of him.

  “Tony,” Samuel whispered, “I wanted you to be the first to know. I’m resigning.”

  “What?” Tony pulled back in shock and blinked at his lover. “But, why? Why would you do that?”

  He sighed and leaned down to put his elbows on his thighs, used his right hand to rub his forehead. “You weren’t there for the scariest part of that meeting. Tony.” He looked up. “There is a whole group of people working very hard to make schools exclusive to any minorities. I’m greatly outnumbered and as an administrator I’m also a target. A major target.” He paused and chewed his lip for a moment. “It’s really better for everyone if I leave the school. Otherwise,” he blinked and then stared off into the middle distance as he finished, “I’ll bring scandal to the school every day. Our kids deserve better than that.”

  Tony opened his mouth to disagree, but then the blank TV screen caught his eye. He had only been in that meeting for second, but someone had felt his presence was deserving of a mention. Had it been the parents who were there? It was possible.

  Instead of arguing, he closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed hard. “What will you do instead?”

  “Well,” Samuel reached over to grab Tony’s shoulder. “I was thinking about starting a nonprofit. I want to keep working with students, but if I’m outside the school I have a little more freedom, some different kinds of protection. And, maybe,” he shrugged, “the schools will let me come in and visit, do a presentation, work with specific groups. I think it could be good.”

  Tony nodded. “Actually,” he turned to face Samuel, “it sounds amazing. I think that you would be amazing at that kind of work. I already know you are. Your kids ran to defend you yesterday.”

  Tony’s lover and former boss reached for his face and pulled him in for a kiss. The two held their lips together for a long time. Unable to stand it a moment longer, Tony climbed up onto Samuel’s lap and wrapped his arms around his strong, lean shoulders.

  “I couldn’t believe it when you walked in yesterday,” Samuel whispered. “It was such a beautiful gesture.”

  Tony blushed as he looked down and saw Samuel’s chest just below his own as his T-shirt gaped forward. Inside it, Tony could see the lines carved into Samuel’s body, the journeys they took down to his waist. He pulled Samuel’s collar aside to kiss his clavicle and then pulled up the shirt from his lover’s waist and slid his hand down past the elastic of his boxers.

  “Samuel,” Tony whispered, then kissed his lover’s face, down his neck and onto his chest. “Samuel, I think you’re amazing.”

  “I’m not,” he whispered back. “You make me better than I am.”

  The two kissed again and Tony felt light and electricity rush through him, blowing his hair back, scraping his skin and filling his lungs. He could feel this new force glowing from inside him, making him brighter, more alive. He knew, finally, that he had found the right one. Samuel was the only man for him and he would never let him go.

  Chapter Thirteen

  In the next guitar class, Tony and Samuel walked in holding hands. A few eyebrows went up as they sat side by side, but they ignored all of it. Tony got his guitar out and checked the sound of each of his strings, tried out the new little tuner he had gotten from the store. It assured him only one string was in need of assistance.

  “Hi Tony,” Star said, sitting across from him. “Have you been practicing?”

  Tony shook his head. “Life has been a little crazy lately.” He smiled at Samuel who looked up at the ceiling as if he had no idea what anyone was talking about. “But,” Tony added, “it should be getting a little more peaceful now. So, hopefully I can play a bit more.”

  “I hope so,” Star said, expertly tuning her own instrument. “You have such a gift for the strings.”

  Marcia and Hal walked in and sat on Tony’s other
side. Marcia took note of Samuel sitting with Tony and widened her eyes at her friend. He stuck his tongue out at her and went back to his guitar.

  Tony strummed out a few chords that he had remembered and then looked up a few new ones on his phone as more people came in, and more chatter filled the room. Kim came in last and closed the door behind her. She took the last free chair, which was next to Samuel. He smiled at her and she gave him a quick nod.

  “All right, class. Welcome back. Today will be the first time we learn a song. Are you ready?” Everyone mumbled a quick yes, they were ready and Star went into the chords for the chorus. They all did their best, playing them in order first and then adding the rhythm and listening to their teacher sing. She had a deep, smoky voice, one which would have been perfect for a blues band in the seventies but now just sounded out of place. It was nice, hearing her sing and everyone exchanged glances as she threw herself into the song.

  “Walk it down,

  Walk it ‘round,

  We will never make a sound

  As we roll off into the night sky…”

  She paused and looked around the room. Everyone gave a nervous laugh and tried it for themselves.

  “Pick a partner,” Star called out to the room, “and take turns playing and listening.”

  Samuel and Tony turned to one another right away, but over Samuel’s shoulder Tony could see Kim sitting silently. The class had an odd number of people and she’d been left out. Their teacher was at the door dealing with the store manager. He caught Kim’s eye and smiled at her.

  “Kim, come play with us. We would love to hear what you’ve got.”

  She blushed and waved Tony’s offer aside with her hand. “No, that’s okay. I think I’ve got it.”

  Samuel looked over his shoulder at her. “No, really. We insist.”

  Kim gave them a half smile and then sighed as she rearranged herself in her seat. “Okay. Sure. I guess it’s just for practice.”

  She strummed out the chords, which sounded fine, but she seemed frustrated.

  “Something is off,” she said to herself and picked at the strings one by one. “I just don’t know where.”

  “You can use my tuner,” Tony offered. He held out the black apparatus. “It’s great. Just pick a string and it will tell what note it is and whether it’s sharp or flat.” He sat with the tuner extended, but Kim didn’t budge.

  “I don’t think so.” She focused on the floor as she spoke, kicking the space between their chairs. “Thanks anyway.”

  The two men exchanged a glance at the refusal. What was this? Samuel shrugged, but Tony reached over and touched Kim’s arm.

  “Hey, everything all right? I know I kind of put my foot in my mouth last time we talked, but-”

  Kim got up and walked away. She mentioned something to the teacher and then walked out, guitar in hand. Tony watched her go with his mouth still open, still not sure what had happened. He got up and went over to Star.

  “Um, I think I just did something, but I’m not sure what,” he said, kneeling in front of his teacher. “Is there something I should know about?”

  Star smiled and patted his arm. “Let it go, sweetie. Focus on your music.”

  “No.”

  Star’s head whipped over and looked at him, her eyes blinking slowly. “I’m sorry?”

  “I mean.” Tony shook his head and looked down at the ground, then back up at her. “What on earth? Why is Kim so upset that I’m being nice to her?”

  Star made a sad smile and then leaned forward to whisper to Tony for a moment. As he listened, he nodded and then stood, his knees stiff from their trip to the floor. Tony crossed the floor back to Samuel and class resumed.

  The group learned the rest of the song, at least a couple of verses. Most of them could keep up with the chorus though the majority struggled with the rest. Star encouraged them all to sing, even if they weren’t vocally gifted, as they played the chords.

  “Don’t worry! It’s not a singing class. Just connect the words to the sound. It will help you.” They all sang along in embarrassed tones, each avoiding the gaze of the rest of the group. Samuel kept eyeing Tony the whole time, but his love was adept at pretending all was well and avoided the man’s stare.

  After class, Samuel and Tony invited Marcia and Hal out for a beer. The group settled into one of the many available oak tables and listened to the vintage rock coming from the old juke box. There was a lull in the conversation, and Samuel gave Tony a kick under the table.

  “Hey!” Tony reached down to protect his ankle. “What was that for?”

  “You’re keeping a secret.”

  Marcia perked up and leaned forward. “Ooh! Our Tony? I can’t believe it. Spill, spill!”

  Tony eyed Marcia, then Samuel, then shook his head. “It was nothing. She was just letting me know why Kim was so sensitive today. We don’t need to worry about it.”

  He paused to take a long sip of his beer while everyone around him gawked with unbelieving faces.

  “Are you serious right now?” Marcia asked, grabbing a little tendril of the hair that flopped onto his forehead. “You tell us or I pull this right out.”

  “Honey—”

  “Okay. Have it your way.” She stood to get some leverage and went to yank it. Tony didn’t believe his friend would hurt him like that, but he was scared she might misjudge the joke and do it by accident. That fear built up quickly and burst out of him before he could stop it.

  “Stop! I’ll tell you.”

  She brushed her hands together and sat back down to her drink. Tony patted his scalp to make sure it was intact. Reassured, he pulled a little of his beer label off and began.

  “So,” Tony said, trying to keep a gentle tone in his voice, “it appears Kim has some ties to the people who are not Samuel’s biggest fans. The conservative group that’s out for his blood is led by her sister.”

  Samuel scoffed a little and took a drink. After he wiped his mouth, he patted Tony’s shoulder. “And, now that she’s seen us together, knows I’m gay and out and therefore enemy number one. Don’t worry, babe. It’s not your fault.”

  The table fell quiet as Tony did his best not to look at Marcia. He didn’t have to. He already knew her face had gone pale and she was pressing her palms to cover it. He could already feel the dread building up inside her.

  Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t tune out her voice. It floated right over to his ears and filled them. “No,” it said in a little gasp. “No, it’s not Tony’s fault. It’s mine.”

  Tony looked up to see the contorted, shocked face he’d prayed he wouldn’t have to confront. Hal pulled her in for a side hug, then wrapped both arms around her completely and kissed her forehead.

  “What are you talking about?” Samuel looked around at each of them, eyebrows working hard as he tried to discern what had happened. “What’s going on?”

  “It was me,” a tearful Marcia explained. “Kim said something about you not giving her your phone number that first night of class. I told her not to worry about it, you’re gay. She said something about how her first husband left her for another man and then made a beeline out of here.” Marcia picked up her beer and took a big, long drink. To herself, she mused, “Probably went straight to her sister’s house.”

  She leaned over to Samuel and took his hand with both of hers. “I’m so sorry. I sicced a dog on you without even realizing what I had done. I should have just left well enough alone.”

  Samuel didn’t respond, he just squeezed her hands back. “Hey, they would have found me out eventually. You can’t blame yourself for how things went.” Despite his forgiveness, Marcia jumped up to run around the table and hug him as tight as she could. Samuel melted into her sincere embrace and smiled up at her. “Really,” he told her. “None of this is your fault. There’s just some anger in the air and it’s hitting different people in different ways. We all have to do what we can.” He looked around at the group. “Right?”

  “Ri
ght,” they all agreed and gave each other a ‘cheers.’ Marcia calmed down, but Tony noticed that she continued glancing over at Samuel every few minutes, still not certain if his forgiveness was temporary or everlasting.

  They tried to recover from their trauma, but the group was subdued after that, all of them wondering what would happen next.

  Tony reached over and touched Samuel’s leg, feeling the muscles under his jeans. He remembered how he used to see the man’s skinny frame as bizarre and silly, but now he knew all of that had been thinly veiled fascination. He wondered about his upcoming probation, if he would be let go or pressured to resign as Samuel had been in the end. He hoped not. He loved his classes and his job. Even if things didn’t go perfectly, he didn’t want to start over.

  Marcia looked over at her quiet husband and arched her back, smiling at him. She made a silent promise to him that they would make love that night. She wanted him to feel the love she had for him, but she also needed the affection. The world around her was getting colder and a little of his fire would burn it away.

  Hal had his secrets, or at least his blandness, and nothing in his expression or his stature gave any of it away. All he was interested in doing was seeing his wife home, watching her shake out her long hair as she took it out of her ponytail, and stepped into her pajamas. He smiled at her and touched her hair without speaking, already looking forward to the moment they would crawl under the covers together.

  Samuel looked over at Tony and studied his warm brown eyes, soft olive skin, and strong jaw. The black hair on his head was thick and made a little swoop on the top of his head like a superhero’s hair. He leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek and whispered a request to go home. Tony nodded and then snuck in a kiss of his own.

  “We’re off,” Tony told their friends as they stood. The married couple smiled up at them, sad to see the night end. They all hugged, taking their time with each embrace and the letting go. The two men made their way to the door without looking back. There would be other nights like this, but they would be colored differently, existing in new circumstances.