Beauty Returns

by Sylvia McNicoll

  A few seconds, later Magic nudges me from behind, holding the wrist guards in her mouth.

  I can’t help laughing.

  “All right, then. You carry them.”

  I scoop up the skates and kneepads. We head down the stairs together just as the front door opens. In comes my worst nightmare: Rolph, hair slicked back, tie knotted loosely around his collar—Teal under his arm.

  “Elizabeth, emergency. Teal has a fever, and I had to pick him up from daycare. You have to watch him.”

  “Sorry. I’m going out.” I try to squeeze past them at the door.

  Rolph cuts me off with his body.

  “I have an appointment in ten minutes for a large contract, and I should have already left for it.”

  Teal starts screaming loudly.

  “Where’s Debra?” I shout over the din.

  “Still at lunch with her editor.”

  “But it’s 4:30. Nobody can eat that long.”

  “I know. I thought she’d be back by now. She may be home any moment. Please, please, little sister, you must watch your nephew just till then.”

  “I’ve got a date. And I’m going to be late.”

  I recognize the look on his face too late. His mouth sets and his eyes shift. In a lightning move, he dumps Teal on the floor and dashes out the door, slamming it behind him. My mouth drops open in disbelief.

  “You can’t do this to me!” I yell at the closed door. “I hate you; I hate you; I hate you!”

  CHAPTER 8

  Kyle and Beauty

  “How ya doin’, man?” Ryan joins me at my table during lunch break. The chair beside me scrapes back.

  “Heard you took on old man Veen in English class the other day.” He slaps my back. “Didn’t think you had it in you.”

  “You like that, do you?” I grin. It’s good that he thinks I can stand up for myself.

  “Didn’t do me much good though. I still have to read a mouldy oldy, only now I have to compare and contrast it to a Nobel prize winner.”

  “Well, it wasn’t the brightest thing to do, but that’s part of what I like about it,” Ryan answers.

  Beauty shuffles at my feet. I snap into my last carrot stick. I’ve finished all the salad and other vegetables Mom packed for me, and as I sip at my sugar free pop, I feel pretty good. My day’s only going to get better too, because at five o’clock I will be Rollerblading with a girl whose voice lifts me to a higher plane.

  On the bus home, Donald sits with Beauty and me again. I try to ignore him and listen to that Blindness book on CD but he keeps tapping at my arm to talk to me. He’s all excited about some boyfriend of his mom’s promising to sign him up for hockey, and he jabbers away. I get the idea there’s no dad at his house, or other kids.

  “Can you play hockey?” Donald asks me.

  I give up and take off my earphones. “No, but I’m going Rollerblading with a friend today.”

  “Aw, you’re lucky. I’ve always wanted to Rollerblade but my mom thinks it’s too dangerous. She probably won’t even let me play hockey.”

  I chuckle to myself. His mom thinks Rollerblading is too dangerous—mine lives in fear of me even crossing a street by myself—makes the whole idea so much more thrilling.

  As we approach my stop, Donald tells me he lives near the park. Maybe he’ll see me there later.

  “Not if I see you first,” I joke.

  “Huh?”

  “Never mind—just remember you have to come over to me to say ‘hi’. I can’t see you. Forward, Beauty.”

  Beauty and I get off the bus. I shiver and throw my jacket on. It’s gotten that much cooler.

  Five blocks later, I’m home. I’m in a hurry, so I skip the testing and inject four units of insulin—for a glass of milk and a couple of Arrowroot biscuits, that should be about right. Of course, with Rollerblading, I might need less insulin; I decide as I eat. I’m thirsty and milk’s usually a good stabilizer so I have another glass. Shawna and I head out together because she’s off to a friend’s house. It’s past the park so she leads the way for Beauty and me. Beauty acts more like a plow horse than a dog guide . Can’t she behave around any girls?

  Never mind, I think. A brisk walk will keep my levels right, and I’ll be at the park early, too. The sun shines warm on my face despite the nip in the air—summer struggling to hang on for another afternoon.

  “I’m going to sit near the swing,” I tell Shawna, and I put my headset on to listen to more of that awful book, Blindness, as I wait.

  In the book, more and more people are losing their sight, and all are sent to an institution because whatever they have is contagious. The blindness spreads to everyone anyway, and society breaks down. That makes it easy to compare with Lord of the Flies. It’s as though blindness represents death to mankind. Let’s face it, that’s what sighted people think anyway. One of the soldiers in the book shoots himself when he catches the disease. They’d rather be dead than blind. Isn’t that the way I once thought, too?

  I smile because something is different now. I’m close to being happy. I feel like I absorb life now through my skin, inhale it through my nose. Whatever shape and form I can experience life in, I certainly don’t want to give any of it up.

  What time is it? My watch says 5:15. Where is Elizabeth? Could I have missed her with this headset on? Beauty stirs at my feet. Maybe I couldn’t see or hear her, but Beauty sure would have let me know.

  Fifteen minutes isn’t that long, I tell myself. Anything can make you that late. Some people are just chronically late anyway. I don’t know that much about Elizabeth. Maybe she’s one of those people.

  The sun’s warmth suddenly evaporates. A cloud blocking the sun? I stand up and feel a shudder through me. Elizabeth doesn’t want to go out with a blind guy. Who am I kidding? By 5:30, she still hasn’t shown. She’s sent her message clearly. I feel sorry for you, so I can’t say no, but I won’t show, and you’ll get the hint.

  I stand up to pace with Beauty, and a familiar voice calls to me. It’s Donald.

  “Hey, Kyle, did you Rollerblade yet? Where’s your friend?”

  “I don’t know, Donald. She never showed. I have no idea what happened.”

  “Where does she live? Do you wanna go over there and check?”

  A kid’s question, direct and simple. And I answer straight from my gut.

  “Yeah. I want to do that. Can you help me find her address?”

  CHAPTER 9

  Elizabeth and Magic

  The doorbell rings. Teal wakes up. I run to the door, hoping it’s Debra.

  Oh my God, it’s him—tall, broad shouldered, and slim, spiked dark hair, his blue eyes reflecting an ocean of possibility as they gaze upwards. Except for a beige tee shirt thrown over his other top, he’s dressed all in black. The sight of him sucks my breath away as I stare up at him.

  Below, at our knees, the two dogs face off, Beauty snarling, Magic standing her ground. My attention shifts downwards. Does Beauty view Magic as a threat, as her replacement? Her head is low, her chocolate fur looks smooth and glossy compared to Magic’s ruffled beige coat. They both have the same golden eyes but Beauty’s, rimmed with pink, have taken on a greenish tinge. They look jealous. My mouth drops open in shock for a moment. Then I spring to action.

  “Shush, Magic. Crate!” I snap my fingers.

  Kyle yanks back at Beauty, hard. She stops growling, but looks up towards me and pants, tongue sliding in and out almost to the floor.

  I squirm under her green-eyed stare. I’m not supposed to even talk to Beauty while she’s still in harness. I can’t think of anything to say to her.

  “So you’re not sick or dead or anything? Why’d you stand me up?”

  Hurt, flat, and annoyed, Kyle’s voice doesn’t match the look in his eyes. They still gaze openly and optimistically towards the sky.

  My skin flames up hot as Teal’s.

  “I’m so sorry…” I give Kyle the long explanation of why I got stuck babysitting, the words stumbli
ng over one another. I sound guilty, rather than happy to see him. Does he believe me or not?

  Teal’s face breaks open in a yowl. Then it scrunches up around the effort of crying.

  “Is that the baby?” Kyle asks, his lips lifting at the corners in a quarter smile.

  “Uh huh. Sorry.”

  Kyle’s smiling. He doesn’t mind the wailing? I sway from side to side, bouncing Teal from hip to hip.

  “Shh. He doesn’t usually cry like this, but he’s sick and I don’t know what to do.”

  Kyle drops Beauty’s harness and reaches out his arms.

  “Can I hold him?” he whispers as though in a church. “I used to be the only one who could get my sister to stop crying when she was a baby.”

  “Sure! Come in, come in!”

  I hand him Teal who’s really screaming by this time, but Kyle grins openly. Then he calls behind him, to some kid on the sidewalk, “It’s okay. I can take it from here.”

  I step around him to push the door closed, unbuckle Beauty’s harness and lead Kyle by the elbow into the living room. Beauty runs to the crate to challenge Magic, and they wrestle for a few moments, rolling around on the floor. Magic yips her defeat and Beauty, realizing that she’s only a big puppy, lets her off. I pull Magic away, guide her into the crate and shut the door.

  “There, there, hush,” Kyle says to Teal, and his crying turns into softer hiccupping. “He feels like he’s burning up. We used to give Shawna Tempra when she had a fever. Do you have any?”

  “I’ll check the medicine cabinet.”

  I dash to the bathroom with Beauty following behind me, just like old times. Nothing there.

  “Maybe it’s in Teal’s room,” I call.

  I run towards the kitchen, down the stairs, through the TV/laundry room to Teal’s room. The medicine’s in a tiny red bottle with an eyedropper top, labelled with a baby picture—I know I’ve seen it. Ah ha! There it sits, on Teal’s bureau.

  I snatch it up and head back with Beauty.

  “Found it,” I tell Kyle and suction up the two millilitres the instructions suggest. I stick the dropper in Teal’s mouth and squeeze the bulb handle.

  “That’s it.”

  “There, there,” Kyle repeats to Teal and begins singing a lullaby, soft and low.

  Teal reaches his tiny hand to touch Kyle’s mouth as though amazed. Kyle purses his lips to kiss his fingers.

  Wow. The dude with the attitude turns into a whole different person around babies. There’s such tenderness as he continues singing. I’m melting as I watch Teal fall back asleep.

  “His bedroom is in the basement,” I whisper.

  “Can we just stay here? We don’t want to chance waking him, do we?”

  I lead him to the couch where we sit down together.

  With one hand he pats the air in front of his feet.

  “Where’s Beauty?”

  “Next to me. She doesn’t have her harness on, so that’s okay, isn’t it?”

  “Not really.” He snaps his fingers at his feet, and Beauty looks up.

  “Go, girl,” I tell her.

  “She’s my dog.”

  “Sorry. Just trying to help.”

  “I have to do it myself.”

  His voice snaps just as his fingers did a second ago. Beauty moves over to his feet and looks up at him for praise. Nothing. She glances my way.

  I nod and smile silently at her. Finally Kyle reaches down again and strokes her. Beauty settles.

  “She loves music,” I tell him. “She must love your singing. What is that lullabye? Can you teach it to me?”

  “My mom used to sing it to me, and I sang it to my sister when she was scared of thunder storms.” Kyle starts:

  Sunshine and starlight

  Reflect in your eyes

  When you smile at me baby,

  The clouds leave the skies

  The world can be a dark place

  Full of thunder, full of rain,

  Life can bring hardship,

  Love can bring pain

  But I will love you always

  You can close your sweet eyes

  And I’ll protect you baby

  Till once again you rise

  I sing it with him the next time through and then, with Teal tucked between us, round cheek against Kyle’s chest, sleepered toes across my legs, Kyle fumbles for my chin with his hand. I lean forward, and we kiss.

  No, no! Alicia and I agreed we wouldn’t do this—fall for one guy, especially not this hard and fast. But my body liquefies, and my lips are the only things that can move. I don’t even want to breathe or swallow.

  From somewhere at the back of another world I hear a door open.

  “Elizabeth, what are you doing?”

  “Mom, you’re home,” I sputter as Kyle and I break apart.

  “I thought for sure Debra would beat you.”

  “Clearly.”

  She drops the stack of books in her arms on the floor so she can dig her fists into her hip. Mom’s wearing an army-green skirt and jacket, and she looks like a drill sergeant.

  “Give me that baby.” She steps toward Kyle, arms reaching as though she’s going to strangle someone.

  “He was sick and Rolph stuck me with him so he could go to an appointment.”

  Mom is about to explode. “Just give me the child.”

  Kyle lifts Teal up, and she takes him.

  “Look at him. He’s all flushed.”

  “His fever’s coming down,” Kyle tells her.

  “Who are you?” Mom doesn’t even let him answer but turns to me.

  “What’s got into you? This is a sick child.”

  “Mrs. Kerr, I’m sorry. I’m Kyle Nicholson. We haven’t met before. I just stopped in to make sure Elizabeth was all right. We had a date to meet in the park and she never showed.”

  Mom turns into a witch woman, her eyes narrow into slits, her mouth bunches into a prune.

  “Oh, so then you’d have been necking in public, I suppose.”

  I hate her, hate her, hate her. My hands bunch into fists.

  “Why do you do this to me?” I yell. “I’m the one stuck babysitting the brat. I’m not the one who produced him.”

  She yells right back.

  “But you know the rules. No boys in the house when you’re alone. For heaven’s sakes, Elizabeth, do you want to end up like your sister?”

  At that point, the door suddenly opens again—Debra this time—my luck she has to arrive after Mom. She’s wearing her dreamy I’m-on-another-planet look. She can’t have heard any of our arguing. She also looks beautiful, with her hedgehog hair and plum-coloured full lips. Her top is plum, too, with an interesting cut-out neckline. After the baby, Debra actually developed cleavage, and it’s on display today.

  “How did your lunch go?” Mom instantly switches back to a normal person. I turn into the witch.

  “Excuse me! Debra’s gone till 6:00 for a lunch appointment, and I get yelled at for kissing a guy?”

  Mom and Debra ignore me, as always.

  “The art editor only had a few minor suggestions. Then he gave me a tour of the publishing house.”

  “What took you so long?” I shriek at her, and she blushes. That blush tells everything. The editor must have been cute. I turn to Mom.

  “Just look at her face. Deb went out on a date, and she’s the one with the kid.”

  “But she’s twenty years old, and I didn’t catch her necking on the couch just now, did I?”

  “Elizabeth, can you just show me out?” Kyle interrupts. His face looks splotchy with red, like Teal’s.

  I cringe to realize how much our shrieking must have embarrassed him.

  “Sure. We’re leaving,” I say, touching his arm.

  I pick up Beauty’s harness for Kyle, who snaps her back in. Beauty looks at me almost as long and hard as Mom. House of shrieking arguments or not, she still wants to stay behind. I step towards the door.

  “You’re not going anywhere!” Mom g
rabs my arm but I fling it off.

  “Try and stop me!”

  “Don’t worry about it, Liz.” Kyle reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a phone. “I’ll call my sister.”

  I can’t give in to the witch woman. I open the door and call Beauty to go forward.

  “She’s my dog! I give the commands,” Kyle says.

  I walk out first, with Beauty and Kyle following.

  “Geez, I know you’re mad at your mom, but do you have to put me in the middle?”

  “I…I’m sorry.” There’s a catch in my voice so I guess Kyle realizes I’m crying.

  “There, there.”

  He talks softly as he reaches for my face with his hands. They land, and with his thumbs he rubs the tears from my cheeks.

  “Families are all crazy in their own way.”

  “Never like mine. My sister always causes these dramas. And my parents take it out on me.”

  “It’s no fun causing the drama, either.” Kyle shrugs. “Trust me, I know.”

  “I…I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.”

  He brings his mouth to mine a second time. If Mom steps out now, I will be grounded forever. But I don’t care. His lips are so soft, and mine turn into mush beneath his. I can’t even breathe.

  CHAPTER 10

  Kyle and Beauty

  When you go blind, people think you automatically hear better but it’s not true. Nothing improves. My diabetes is still as bad as ever and so are the mood swings that result from it. But since I’ve accepted my blindness—well maybe, since I got Beauty—the rest of my senses seem hungrier. I love to listen to beautiful sounds: the water tumbling over the rocks at Little Stone Bridge in the park, my knife scraping across the toast as I butter it, and the coffeemaker heaving and sighing as it brews. And Elizabeth’s voice.

  I also love the feel of her face, her skin, warm and smooth, and her lips. When we kiss, it just opens one long ache that throbs right through me, and my skin wants more. Like an amoeba that eats through its pores, I want to feel Elizabeth close to me all over.