Bear The Fire (Firebear Brides 4)

by Anya Nowlan

  “Why did you go, Rhodes?”

  “What do you mean why? I was a fucking murderer. I am a murderer. I had to get out, before anyone could connect the dots and take this back to me.” He was up, pacing a few feet from her, rigid, jagged motions making his body look like it was made up of pieces that didn’t really fit together.

  “You aren’t a murderer. You saved me from him. He would have come for me again, we both knew that. J—”

  “Don’t say that name,” Rhodes said, coming so close to her now that they were just a few inches apart. “Don’t say that name ever again, Kali. I mean it. It’s not in your vocabulary anymore. You meet another person with that name, you fucking run like it’s the devil incarnate. Never fucking again,” he hissed.

  Kali felt her chin lifting and going tight. His eyes were cold as ice now but it still wouldn’t put out the fire in her. Not in a million years. He’d left without so much as a goodbye after that night in the little cabin they’d been sharing for the weekend. The memories were strangling, but she’d memorized every second. They were as clear as they could be in her mind.

  Rhodes had gone out, leaving her alone in the house for a while. She heard a knock on the door and thinking it was Rhodes, she’d opened it, only to get slammed down on the ground by her ex. He was a werewolf, a man far too dangerous for her. She remembered every hit he landed, bashing in her cheek and her nose and making her cough up blood. She remembered thinking she was going to die.

  And then she remembered Rhodes crashing in, tearing Jonathan off of her and disappearing into the darkness of the night, while she tried desperately to hold onto consciousness. Finally Rhodes had returned, bruised and battered, but alone. And angry as hell. She’d passed out in the car on the way to the hospital, but not before she saw the stark red glow of the forest burning right around their little cabin.

  “All right,” she said softly, conceding. “I won’t say his name.”

  “Good,” he said, straining the words out.

  He pulled away and the distance was harrowing. This would be it. If she let him go, that would be the end. She knew it. She wasn’t sure how, but she did.

  “Ragnar came to see me in the hospital,” she said, making Rhodes stop. He listened, not turning around. “That’s why they never found out. Ragnar made sure all our bases were covered. Called in more favors, as he does,” she said with a weak grin. “I know you called him right after. I know you talked to him. But he talked to me too when you disappeared. He told me everything.”

  “Everything?” Rhodes asked, looking over his shoulder.

  “Everything,” Kali said, forcing her voice steady. “You’re not like Eric Hassleback, Rhodes. It wasn’t the same.”

  “I’m a monster,” he seethed, his eyes flashing dark brown as he turned to face her. “You don’t know what you’re messing with, coming here. Staying here. You’re playing with fire, Kali, and you’re going to get burned.”

  Yeah, she could feel it. The tight heat in her chest, suffocating, burning, scratching. It gave her life. She jumped off the tailgate and walked to him, standing close, glaring into his eyes. So close that she could feel his breath on her skin, the warmth emanating off of him. It was mesmerizing.

  “I know exactly what I’m doing, Rhodes. I’m not the one who ran. You were. I’m giving you another chance to stay the fuck still. To face your demons. I’m not one of them and I’m not afraid of you.”

  “You should be,” he said, but some of the fight was out of his voice, making Kali stand taller.

  “Yeah? Make me.”

  Was this how it was always going to be? One of them stopping the other from storming off, hot kisses searing the path that could have ended with tears? As Rhodes threw his arms around her waist and almost tore her off the ground, his hands under her ass, she sure as fuck wished that it would be. If she couldn’t have him any other way, she’d take it like that. Hard, wrong, bad.

  Their lips mashed together and she groaned into his mouth as he pushed her back on the tailgate. This time, she wouldn’t miss her chance. Tearing at his shirt, she made him take off the solid black T-shirt before moving any further. There, nestled amongst his plethora of tattoos, right above his heart, read the name “Kali.” He still had it.

  “You still have it,” she said, beaming.

  “What? How could I get rid of it?” he asked, scowling, like it was an impossibility and such stupidity shouldn’t even be humored.

  Smart-ass comments died on her lips as he kissed her again, tearing at her shirt and her bra. They were out in the open, hidden only by the workshop, and anyone could walk in. But it didn’t matter. Like the previous time in the truck, being with each other was far more important than the possibility that someone could walk in on them.

  His hands kneaded her flesh, tearing and nipping at it. It felt so wrong wanting him so badly, but at the same time it was the rightest thing in the world. She pulled his belt loose as he undid the buttons on her jeans, and a moment later he was pulling her off the tailgate, spinning her around and pushing her down on it.

  Her hands flat against the cold metal, she yelped as he pulled down her black lace panties and jeans with one go, bunching them around her knees, leaving her pussy exposed.

  “Fuck, you’re perfect,” he ground out, one hand on the small of her back and the other pushing between her legs, parting her pussy lips and smearing her wetness around.

  “Rhodes,” she purred as he slipped two fingers inside of her, pumping them hard and fast as he pressed them against the front wall of her cunt.

  He remembered everything. Exactly how to play her, exactly how to get her mewling like a hot mess for him. Kali gasped for breath as he pushed his thumb against her asshole, teasing the puckered hole with the pad. She pressed herself against him, grinding into his touch as he finger-fucked her mercilessly.

  The tension was so tight in her that she couldn’t put it into words, or screams. Instead, she held on tight and whimpered through the highs and the lows of the building ecstasy. When he pushed in a third finger, she was gone, done fighting. The orgasm swept her away like she’d known it would—complete, not leaving a second of time to think of anything but him.

  Rhodes pulled his fingers out of her as she was squeezing around them, her pussy hungry for more. And he gave her what she needed, pushing down his jeans and thrusting into her.

  “I missed you so bad, baby,” he groaned, stroking her fire with long, slow pumps.

  Any reply she might have had was lost on her lips as her orgasm smoothly rolled into another one, milking his cock for all it was worth. He didn’t last long, done with fighting against her—at least for now. Every movement was faster and deeper than the previous, filling her completely up until he came with a roar that Kali thought was impossible for no one else to have had heard.

  And it didn’t matter. Let them hear. There were years of deep-seated anguish that needed to be made up for, and at that very moment Kali didn’t know a better way to do it than just fuck it out.

  So that’s what she was going to do.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Rhodes

  “Are we going to talk about this now?” Kali asked, tossing her long caramel locks over her tanned shoulders, her green eyes sparkling with mischief.

  “No,” he answered, as he’d done every time she’d asked. Which was far too many times.

  Grabbing her by the hips, he flipped them both over so she landed on the sheets with a squeal and he was right on top of her, smothering her with kisses. For a while, she played along, her long legs curling around his narrow waist and her heels digging into his ass. Rhodes moved down her belly to eat her out and make her let out those delicious whining whimpers he liked so much, but exactly when things were getting interesting again, she stopped him.

  “Come on. Talk to me,” she said, scrambling away from him on the bed and sitting up.

  She bunched the sheet together, covering her pussy and those ripe tits he’d come to worship over the
last few days—driving the rest of the Hamilton clan to the brink of insanity, he was sure, with the noises they were making. He growled, getting on his knees and scooting toward her. Kali stopped him with her foot against his chest, gently nudging him back into a seated position.

  “What’s so damn funny again?” he asked, scowling as he assessed the situation.

  “You. You’re funny.”

  He could just grab her ankle and pull her flat on the bed and get on top of her. She’d say no once, maybe twice, and then she’d scream yes. But he was fucking exhausted after two days of not coming up for air.

  Talk. Okay. Sure.

  “I’ll bite. How am I funny?”

  “Weren’t you the one who told me to always face my fears?” Kali asked, reaching for a bottle of water on the nightstand and taking a long swig.

  She handed the bottle to him, and his first reluctant sip turned into draining the entire thing. Maybe he was more dehydrated than he thought.

  “That sounds dumb enough to come from Past Me, so sure.”

  “And aren’t you doing the polar opposite of that?” she asked, biting her lip in a way that made his cock throb with desire. Damn that little minx.

  “I’m right here, baby,” he said, gently putting a hand around her ankle and kissing the top of her foot as she trailed the outlines of his chest.

  “Physically, yes. But I know you’re just doing this to ignore the elephant in the room.”

  Frustrated, Rhodes leaned back, taking a good hard look at Kali Jameson. She was tall, curvy, and full of fire. Yet she was still the sweetest, most innocent thing he’d ever managed to not break. How she’d come out of knowing him without half a dozen or more mental and physical scars, he didn’t know. But to keep it like that, well… he knew the only real way to do it would be to make sure she wasn’t around him.

  “Yeah?” he smirked, keeping any witty jokes locked away for a less stressful time. “And what about you, Miss Know-It-All?”

  “What about me?” she asked, like the notion hadn’t even crossed her mind.

  The sunlight played off her skin beautifully, making her almost glow. There was a slight aura around her. He couldn’t think of her as anything but an angel sent to mar herself with him. How could he touch something so beautiful without fucking her up?

  “What are you running from? You tell me that I’m being an ass, trying to put distance between crap that hurts me and could hurt others, but what about you, Kali? Don’t tell me you’re in Idaho, promising to marry a deadbeat who left you in the hospital, beaten up and afraid, because your life is just perfect.”

  He gave her a hard look, hedging his bets that it would either quiet her with the talk about the past, or it would make her tell him what he wanted to know. Either way, he could only come out of this as the winner.

  “You’re wrong,” she said sternly, looking away.

  The blush on her cheeks told him he wasn’t, though.

  “Yeah, right. See, you’re no better. You’re bottling something up too, using me to ignore whatever it is that’s going on with you. People and glass houses and all that, Kali,” he said, his cock going flaccid.

  Congratulations, Rhodes. Great diversion. She’ll be out of here in about ten minutes flat at this rate.

  But wasn’t that what he wanted?

  He wasn’t so sure anymore.

  Kali thrust her head in her hands, shaking her head side to side. Her long strands of hair fell like a waterfall. Mesmerizing. He expected her to get up, grab her clothes, and stomp out like she’d used to—like he still did. But instead, she looked up and softly nodded, the blush fading from her cheeks.

  “You’re not wrong. I am using you.”

  “Nailed it.”

  “Ass.”

  “So, what is it?”

  Rhodes stretched out on the bed, propping his head on his palm and looking up at her. She grinned at him and butterflies stirred in his stomach. Wait, no. Not butterflies. Something much more masculine than that, but with the same effect. Rhodes cleared his throat, pushing the lovey-dovey thoughts out of his head.

  This is temporary. It can’t last.

  The mantra was getting sort of old.

  “I’m a failure,” she said with a sad grin. “You know what I do? I sling coffee at the same place that I used to.”

  “The Tired Bean? Sheesh,” Rhodes said, whistling. “No wonder you’re here, then. Even I’m a better choice than that dump.”

  She smacked him over the head lightly and he smirked. It was like old times, joking around, spending days and days in bed, telling each other all sorts of stupid little secrets that meant nothing. But he had been a kid back then. He hadn’t done anything. No secrets worth keeping. Now? Now he’d been walking around with a huge burden of remorse for years, feeling like the scummiest piece of shit in the world.

  What the hell had he done to turn out like Eric Hassleback, the fucker who had killed his father in front of his very eyes? He was even worse than Hassleback. At least Eric had had the decency to die along with his victim, but Rhodes was still walking around, breathing air and feeling sunshine on his skin. He was a prick. Nothing more, but probably a lot less than even that, if he were honest with himself.

  “Yeah. But it’s not only that. I still live in the same place. Catlyn is my roommate, I think it’s what, six years now? She’s on boyfriend number fifteen now, hashtag ‘LoveOfHerLife’ as usual. And I still put up with it. I haven’t changed a single thing since that night.”

  “Why not?” Rhodes asked, frowning. “Do you still sing?”

  They’d met when he’d heard her singing at an open mic night. She had this soulful voice that could take a man right along with her and force him to see things the way she wanted them to be seen.

  Listening to her had been… well, as close as he could get to a spiritual experience without being inside of her. Thinking that she hadn’t done more with her gift than maybe playing a few random gigs every now and then made his heart ache.

  “Sing? Sure,” she snorted, rolling her eyes at herself. “I get up on open mic night with my band once a month. Same place. Same time. Same twenty people listening to us.”

  “That rock shit was never your thing,” Rhodes scoffed, remembering the band, Plush Lips, she’d been a part of back then. They’d never known what to do with her voice, and by what he was hearing, they still didn’t.

  “Yeah, well, tell it to my insecurities,” she said with a weak smile, plopping back down on the covers, staring up at the ceiling. “You’re not the only one who went off the rails after that shit, Rhodes,” she said softly.

  That got his attention. He leaned in closer, laying a line of kisses from her forehead down to her chin, and then he pecked at her lips, honey-sweet as always.

  “I’m no good for you, baby,” he said in a low murmur, straight from the heart.

  “Shouldn’t I be the one to decide that?” she asked stubbornly.

  “You’ve never known what was good for you. Look at you, in bed with me. You know better than that,” he said with a knowing grin, one that she wiped off of his face by pouncing on him and tickling his sides.

  He howled with laughter, clutching her wrists and wringing them behind her back. She was back on top of him, that burning intensity back in her eyes that demanded a treat.

  “I know what I want,” she said.

  “I thought you hated me,” he teased, hiking himself up to sit so her face was hovering close to his, with those maddening lips and green, green eyes.

  “I do. But I want you too. I think that’s love, right?” she asked, grinning.

  Ow. Straight to the heart, again. It was one thing admitting his own defective adoration of the woman, but hearing those feelings echoed from her sugary lips? Too much.

  With a grunt, Rhodes rolled her off of his body and got out of the bed. Kali looked up at him, surprise tinting her features. He couldn’t look at her. When she was vulnerable, or sad, or even just there, she was irresistible. He ke
pt drowning in her presence and getting lost in it like a chump, forgetting his head and how to be rational.

  “That’s not love, Kali. That’s a bad choice you shouldn’t make.”

  He jumped out of the bed and grabbed his jeans from the floor. Pulling them on, he searched around aimlessly for his shirt, but all he found were the tattered remnants of a white tank top he had worn the night before. Frustrated, he went for the door, deciding to find a shirt in his own damn room.

  “You’re running again,” she told him, making a cold spike lodge itself straight into his spine. She wasn’t wrong. That was a damn annoying quality about her.

  “I’m going to go get some food. Am I allowed to do that, princess?”

  He shot her a look and she quirked her brow, all knowing, all seeing. His nose crinkled in irritation and he stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him. His own bedroom was across the corridor. Grabbing a T-shirt from his open duffel, he threw it on and shoved his feet into his boots.

  It felt like the damn house was sucking the air right out of his lungs. He ran down the stairs and by the time he rushed through the front door, he was heaving for breath. He gripped the rickety wood for support, making it creak and heave under the crushing force of his strong hands.

  She was right. About almost everything. But it didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter. Being around him would ruin her. Destroy everything that was good about her, no matter how fucking fantastic it felt. He heaved in a big breath and straightened himself up, distinctly aware of the few beads of sweat that had appeared on his forehead.

  “You okay?” Royce asked, watching him from the front yard, arms crossed over his chest.

  “Yeah,” Rhodes lied, having completely glossed over the fact that Royce was there and that Redmond and Rhodes were climbing into the trucks already, all eyes on him.

  “Sure,” Royce said, giving Rhodes his lie without poking at it. “We’re going to go scope out some tracks in the north forests. Think we’re on Hassleback’s trail. You want to come? You look like you could use some…” Royce didn’t finish his thought, a dark smirk crossing over Rhodes’s lips.